I wrote this in response to a challenge on the svufiction website. I had fun writing it. there were a few phrases I needed to use, but don't ask what they were because I don't remember (and I'm too lazy and tired to go check). But enjoy!
Disclaimer:
The characters and the song "Breath (2AM)" are not mine (The song isn't
Olivia's either, but no one needs to know that, right?).
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It was 2:00 in the morning when she called me. I couldn't sleep- I'd settled for drowning my problems in alcohol. I hadn't been drunk- yet. But I had been through about five bottles of beer.
The ringing of the phone both surprised me and didn't. I knew she would call, I just didn't know she would wait so long.
2 Am and she calls me cause I'm still awake
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?
I don't love him; winter just wasn't my season"
I told her to meet me at my apartment and we'd talk. Minutes later, she was at the door. When I went to let her inside, I noticed the doors to the apartments near mine were open. I suppose they were all angry at the fact that somebody was interrupting their slumber at 2 in the morning. I didn't understand why they were so angry- nearly all of my neighbors had kept me up 'til the wee hours of the morning with their stupid party music and screaming. I gave them all a Look and closed the door.
Yea we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize
Hypocrites- you're all here for the very same reason
I turned around and told Olivia to sit on the couch. She didn't obey; instead she looked at the table at all my empty beer bottles.
"You've been drinking?" she asked, the question coming out more like a statement.
I nodded.
"Why?"
I shrugged. I didn't want to admit the real reason. "Olivia, tell me what's wrong."
Olivia sat this time. I sat close to her, suddenly noticing the tear stains on her cheeks.
"Josh," she said simply.
"The man you went out with tonight?" I don't know why I asked the question. After all, Josh was the whole reason I was drinking that night.
"Yes. Turns out he's a jerk." I watched as Olivia broke down before my eyes. "I wish I'd never gone out with him. Or slept with him."
I winced at her last statement, unable to disregard it. "Liv, listen. You learn from your mistakes. You know to stay away from him now. There's no going back." I places an assuring hand on her shoulder. "But for now, just calm down. It's in the past. Take a breath."
Olivia breathed deeply.
Cause you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button, girl
So just cradle your head in your hands
And breathe, just breathe, whoa breathe, just breathe
"So what did he do to make him such a jerk?" I asked.
"Let's start with the lying. You know how old I am right?"
I nodded.
"Elliot, he's twenty-one fucking years old! Okay, I don't mind the occasional younger guy, but twenty-one? And he just turned twenty-one last month."
"That's insane."
"Yea! And get this one. He was an alcoholic. Found that out the hard way."
May he turned 21 on the base of Fort Bliss
Just today he sat down to the flask in his fist
Ain't been sober since maybe October of last year
"What?"
"Tonight I showed up for our date. He'd been drinking. It was awful. He tried to, you know, go to the afterwards part of the date."
I closed my eyes. I really didn't want to hear this.
"And, yea, we'd 'done it' before, but each time..." She realized my discomfort. "Well, nothing happened."
I stood up and walked to the kitchen. I really didn't want to hear it. I grabbed one of the unopened bottles of beer and downed about half. When I turned around, Olivia was right behind me. She grabbed the bottle from my hand.
"Elliot, you need to stop drinking!" she yelled. "Haven't I been through this enough tonight?"
I lightly pushed her out of the way, making my way back to the couch. "I'm sorry, Liv. I'm just-"
"Just what?"
"Just continue."
She sighed. "Elliot, I don't understand what happened. He was amazing- great looks, a smile to die for. Yea, sure, he had started out a little depressed, but he became happy again as time went on."
Here in town you can tell he's been down for while
But my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles
Wanna hold him; maybe I'll just sing about it
"Olivia, please stop," I suddenly begged, not wanting to hear anymore.
"Stop what?" she asked, her eyes confused.
"I'll admit it, Liv. I hated Josh." There. I'd said it. Would she understand?
Cause you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button, boys
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe, just breathe, whoa breath just breathe
"Why? Did you know he was a jerk? And you didn't tell me?" Olivia stood up abruptly, heading toward the door. "I think I deserve a little better, Elliot."
"No, Liv. That's not it."
"Then what is it?" She turned toward me. Her eyes were shining. It broke my heart to see her so sad.
"Come here, Liv." I opened my arms and she ran into them, sobbing.
"Elliot," she whispered. "I know there's a light at the end of this tunnel. How do I find it?"
"I can help you." I said. I used my hand to pull her chin up so her eyes were looking into mine. "I really can." I leaned forward and kissed her lightly. I pulled away, leaving a thousand questions unanswered. But I had taken the first step. There was no going back now.
There's a light at the end of this tunnel you shout
'Cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made
You'll just make them again
If you'll only try turnin' around
"Elliot...?" she breathed. "What was that?"
"I hated Josh because he was the thing keeping me from you," I admitted.
Olivia looked at me. "What?"
"I love you, Liv. It just... I guess it just took losing you to realize it."
Olivia smiled. She leaned forward and kissed me, more passionately than last time.
"Oh, and Liv?" I said against her mouth.
"Mmm?"
I pulled away. "That tunnel line? Very deep."
She laughed, sending chills down my spine. "I've been pretty deep lately."
"How do you mean?"
Olivia pulled a piece of paper out from the back pocket of her jeans. "I wasn't going to show anyone this," she said, handing me the paper.
"What is it?"
"A song."
"You sing and write music!" I asked, amazed.
"Write, not sing," she said.
"Sing it for me?" I asked.
"Elliot, I'm not much of a-"
"I don't care. Just... please."
She sighed. "Fine."
Quietly she began singing the lyrics that she had written on the paper.
2 AM and I'm still awake writing this song
If I get it all down on paper it's no longer
Inside of me threatenin' the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary screamin' out aloud
And I know that you'll use them however you want to.
But you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand... yeah breathe
Just breathe, whoa breathe, just breathe
"Liv, that was amazing." I said. "You- that- wow."
"I don't know what came over me." she replied. "I guess I just-"
"Send it somewhere," I urged.
"No."
"Why?"
"It's my little secret. Our little secret." She took the paper from me, folded it back up, and put it back in my hand, closing my fingers around it. Suddenly she was sitting on my lap. "Now... where were we?"
