This story follows tonight's episode in my little AU world where Castle & Beckett get together whenever the screen fades to black. It was also heavily and beautifully inspired by a real life friend's wonderful song - Ballerina Shoes by Tara Wink - please check it out on youtube.
Dedicated to Dana because we all need best friends to cheer us up.
Disclaimer: If I owned them I wouldn't spend my time writing fanfic, I'd spend it rolling in a hot tub full of the moolah.
I don't know if I'm on track,
the future's so heavy on my back,
I long for the days,
When I could dance the night away,
In my ballerina shoes,
When I had everything to gain,
And nothing to lose
-Tara Wink's Ballerina Shoes;
"It's a sad day when my best proposition comes from a suspected serial killer," Kate Beckett stormed into the autopsy bay, flying past her best friend in a blur as she hopped onto the empty autopsy table laying on it as if it was a couch in a psychiatrist office, "The mighty have fallen, Lanie."
"You've been around Writer Boy too much," Lanie Parish pulled off her gloves and leaned against the table looking down at her friend, "you've caught his flair for the dramatic."
Beckett scrunched up her nose in disgust, "It's kind of like a venereal disease."
"How is Castle anyways," She smiled and hopped onto the empty edge by Kate's hip, "you two were looking awfully cozy sitting there by that pool."
"It's also a sad day when Richard Castle loses his faith in humanity," Beckett explained and sat up, pulling at her calves to sit cross-legged, "I sent him home to Alexis to find it again with a detail for the night just in case."
"Good plan," Lanie offered a smug smile, "So, how do his hands feel?"
"Kind of rough but without callouses, writer hands." She decided before jerking her head to glare at Lanie for dragging that much out of her, "We are not having a tween-y "Oh My God" conversation about this."
"Whatever you say, Kate."
"He's with Gina, Lanie, and I'm trying like hell to respect that." Kate sighed and dropped her head to her hand, propping her elbow on her thigh, "Things have been a little weird since he came back, and it's probably wrong of me to say this, but tonight I finally felt like I had him back. Sure, he was held hostage, went eye-to-eye with a serial killer, and I almost lost him, but sitting there by that pool holding his hand, I felt like I finally got back that piece of him..."
"The piece that belongs just to you," Lanie filled in the gaps, "you are so in love with him."
"Heaven help me, I am."
The medical examiner shook her head, "So, that begs the question, why on God's green earth is he with Gina and what the hell are you doing with McSteamy?"
"His name is Josh," Kate picked an invisible thread on her pant leg, "and technically that's two questions."
"Two damn good questions."
"That I don't have the answer to."
Stale mate. Eyes locked, best friend to best friend, they sat in silence for a long while without blinking before Kate sighed and blew a stray piece of hair from her face, "Josh makes me feel like I'm seventeen again. I'm just Kate with him."
Lanie coached, "But..."
"With Castle," Beckett breathed and swung her legs over the table, kicking at the air, "I dunno, it's like... You remember when you were little and you'd slide around on the hardwood floor in your socks and nightgown pretending to dance with Prince Charming until your parents made you go to bed? That place where everything was safe and your biggest fear was that the glass slipper wouldn't fit? That's what it's like with Castle."
"Except you're both so afraid that the shoe won't fit that you won't even try."
Kate nodded, pointing at the invisible center of a dart board, "Yeah, that."
"When really, Kate," Lanie slid of the table and looked her in the eye, "if you just tried to put the slipper on you'd realize it's a perfect fit."
The detective drew her knees to her chest, "I could have lost him tonight, Lanie."
"Never thought you'd be grateful to a serial killer, huh?"
"Yeah," Beckett whispered and looked at her best friend, "what do I do Lanie?"
"Life is too short for this beating around the bush crap, Girl," Lanie smiled, "go tell Writer Boy that you're head over heels crazy for him and you don't want to live another day without him knowing that, no matter what he decides."
"Stop being scared?"
"Stop being scared," Lanie nodded the affirmative, "and go get what you want. Be the girl I know and love."
"Thanks," Kate slid off the table with a new sense of resolve as she gave Lanie a one armed hug before heading for the door, "I owe you one."
"Mmm, you know it," Lanie mumbled as she turned back to her dead body, "They would be utterly lost without me."
