As promised, here's the companion one-shot for Awake and Alive, giving you a little look at what I think Alice and Jasper's early time with the Cullens might have been like. You'll notice, I didn't go into a lot of detail (it wouldn't have been a one-shot if I had! :P Nik = wordy!) but I'm hoping you'll enjoy it anyway.
I had to laugh to myself as I was in the process of writing the one canon scene I swore I'd never touch… you guys have to know I love you if I'm making that sacrifice for you! :P
And lastly, I took a very different approach this time than I've ever done before… using a character perspective that is totally new to me. You have no idea how antsy I am to get your feedback on that!
I'm gonna hush now and let you get to reading. Enjoy! :D
Esme's POV
When you live forever, change is something you are forced to grow accustomed to – changing times, changing cultures, changing circumstances. Though our bodies are frozen in time, we still must learn to adapt to the differing times we find ourselves in.
Perhaps one of the most surprising changes for us was the unexpected addition of two members of our family one October afternoon in 1950.
There had been nothing out of the ordinary about that day to begin with. We'd all been occupying our time with our usual pursuits. Emmett and Edward had gone hunting that morning, so I had been expecting a quiet afternoon at the house with just Carlisle and Rosalie for company.
That wasn't destined to be the case, however.
None of us had been entirely sure what to think when we'd sensed the approach of two other immortals – neither one a scent we'd recognized from any previous encounter. A little wary, the three of us had gone onto the front porch to meet them.
From the distance, we'd watched the approach of the strangers. The two immortals couldn't possibly have looked more dissimilar. Yet as they'd come closer, all of us had instinctively tensed in fear at what we saw.
The man was tall and had a very menacing appearance with scars marring every visible inch of him. Each one was a warning that screamed he was dangerous… that he was a survivor of horrors that most of us could never imagine. His features were inscrutable, his eyes sharp and wary as he came to a stop several feet in front of us.
The woman at his side, clasping his hand, was his opposite in every way. She was dainty and small, her features lit from within by an excitement that we didn't understand. Her small frame was almost vibrating with visible expectation. There was nothing threatening about her appearance. She was lovely. Like a little porcelain doll.
The man's body angled between the tiny woman and the rest of us, like he was shielding her with his frame as his sharp eyes quickly assessed each of us in turn. She, however, obviously didn't share his reservations.
With a blinding grin from the young woman, I found my waist enveloped in a fierce hug as she flashed to my side. The man, whom she proceeded to introduce as Jasper, appeared shell-shocked by her impulsive action and was quite clearly uncomfortable with it. He tensed visibly as she crossed the distance, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. He looked like he wanted nothing more than to pull her a safe distance away from us.
Instinctively, though, I'd returned her hug, wrapping my arms tentatively around her slender shoulders. Carlisle, Rosalie and I had all exchanged an uncertain glance as the young woman, Alice, she told us her name was, greeted them both in the same manner, calling us all by name, and began to explain what they were doing here.
The story she told was almost unbelievable, but her voice had an undeniable ring of truth to it. She told us how she'd seen our family in visions. How she'd known from the first time she'd seen us that she'd wanted to be part of our family. She told us how she'd seen the way we'd lived and strived to train herself to feed as we did. And, with some surprise, we did notice that not only were her eyes the same gold we'd all become accustomed to, but so were her companion's as well. It looked odd to see the golden irises that denoted a more peaceful lifestyle on his scar-riddled face.
Still a bit stunned, none of us had thought to protest when she'd led us into the house, asking which room could be hers. By the time Edward and Emmett had returned home, she'd moved all of Edward's things to the garage, insisting that he wouldn't mind – she'd seen that – and settled in.
When they'd walked in the door, she'd met them with the same exuberance she'd shown to us, nearly bouncing in place as she'd hugged them.
"Where'd the midget come from?" was Emmett's only question as he'd responded to her with the same easy going approach he took with everything, accepting the two strangers without any further questions. He didn't even seem to notice Jasper's scars, much less to be concerned by them.
Alice elbowed him in the side at his question, laughing with twinkling eyes like they'd known each other for years.
Edward regarded her with curious eyes, no doubt listening very carefully to what was in her thoughts. With a warm smile, Alice seemed to communicate something silently to him. We watched as his forehead creased, confusion, uncertainty, and stark surprise passing over his face. "I've never seen anything like that," he murmured, sounding slightly awed.
Just then, Jasper shifted from the corner of the room he'd situated himself in to watch their exchange. Edward's face froze. It was only an instant before his whole body tensed to defend himself, a snarl ripping from his chest.
"Calm down, Edward. Don't be silly," Alice chimed, laying her hand on his arm.
In spite of her reassurances, the two men had stared each other down for a long moment, the atmosphere in the room almost crackling with the sudden tension between them. With a quiet sigh and a look of tender amusement, Alice flitted back to Jasper's side, tucking herself under his arm and smiling up at him. He seemed to relax somewhat when she was beside him again, though he shot Edward one last glance, obviously intended to be a warning.
As the days passed, we all observed the two newcomers closely, still adjusting to their sudden arrival. But, for the most part, things remained peaceful… at least on the surface. It was difficult to relax altogether with Jasper's silent gaze taking in everything. I doubted that there was even the smallest detail that his constantly wary eyes missed.
I'd never before seen two people who were any more opposite than they were both in appearance and temperament. Where Jasper was tall and fair and had a distinct air of danger about him, Alice was petite and almost pixie-like. She was bubbly and happy, and it was all but impossible not to like her or to feel uncomfortable with her. She had such a sweet nature about her, loving and affectionate.
It grew increasingly obvious that Alice really did have the gift of foresight as she'd said. Not that we'd truly doubted her, but the evidence was unmistakable. She knew details about us that no one outside our family would have known – little things sometimes, just everyday occurrences that had happened that we wouldn't have thought to discuss with anyone. She would have had no other way of knowing them had she not seen them as she claimed.
She was able to converse easily with us about our everyday lives, finding ways to insinuate herself into our family, creating her own little niche there. And she did it in such a way that it was impossible to take offense to it. She was too eager to love us and to be loved in return. And loving her was easy to do.
Jasper was another matter entirely. He, quite obviously, was not comfortable with us. His hard, steely eyes took everything in, surveying every detail and watching us all closely. He was never openly hostile towards us, and always coolly polite if he was directly spoken to. But that was the only time he ever spoke at all, and even then he responded with no more words than strictly necessary.
It was difficult at times to determine what exactly the nature of Jasper's relationship with Alice was. He wasn't openly affectionate with her when he was around us, but his eyes were always on her. He was always aware of where she was. And she was never out of his sight.
She, on the other hand, was quite comfortable around him, touching him casually whenever she had an opportunity to do so – placing her hand on his chest, touching his arm, stroking his face. He never once pulled away from her or seemed to discourage her affections, but he didn't reciprocate in any way that we ever saw. Alice didn't seem to be deterred by that. Her gaze when she looked at him could never be misconstrued as anything other than utter love and devotion.
Yet the look in his eyes seemed more indicative of a bodyguard rather than a lover.
Things remained tense between Edward and Jasper. They ignored each other whenever possible, but none of us missed the charged glances that passed between them. Jasper's eyes seemed to dare Edward to say something. And Edward's was a warning. Jasper never seemed concerned by it, though. There was almost a kind of haughty amusement as he regarded Edward – as if he didn't consider him much of a threat.
I wondered sometimes what it was that Edward heard in his thoughts that had him so wary. But Jasper said little, and Alice didn't volunteer more than basic information about him. It was more than clear that Jasper had a violent history. We just didn't know the extent of it yet.
A few days after their arrival, we all went hunting. Emmett was in one of his more rambunctious moods that day, running back and forth, trying to antagonize Edward into a game of chase or a wrestling match. Emmett would have been thrilled with either. But Edward wasn't in the mood, evading him easily every time he passed.
We knew after so many years that Emmett had little sense of danger or self-preservation. Everything was a game to him. That was made obvious once again when he gave up on Edward and turned his mischievous eyes to Jasper instead. He must have thought the newcomer was easy game.
He was wrong.
Jasper eyed him strangely at first – weighing something it seemed. As Emmett drew closer, a steely determination became apparent in his gaze. What happened next was so fast it was nearly a blur even to our eyes.
When Emmett was an arm's length away, Jasper struck. Before any of us had the chance to even blink, he had Emmett on his back in the dirt, a hand clamped around his throat. Emmett was taller than Jasper by a couple of inches and much bulkier, but even so he'd been completely overcome without any sort of fight. It left us all stunned.
Beside me, Rosalie tensed, a stifled gasp passing her lips. Edward crouched, ready to jump in and separate them. But he didn't have to.
Jasper kept Emmett pinned for only a split second before he released him and stood, offering his hand to help him back to his feet.
"Well, damn," Emmett muttered, awed instead of frightened by the swiftness with which he'd been taken down. "You've gotta teach me how to do that sometime."
One corner of Jasper's mouth tipped up. He knew he'd made his point. We were all aware that this was a warning. And, silent though it had been, it reached us all loud and clear.
It wasn't until a week after their arrival that Alice and Jasper went off on their own to go hunting again, leaving the rest of us to confer among ourselves. As one, Carlisle and I headed upstairs into his study to talk in some semblance of privacy. Edward was close behind us. There were clearly things he wanted to say.
"Do you know what he is?" Edward demanded irately as soon as the office door was shut behind us.
Carlisle went to his desk chair and sank down, rubbing one hand over his forehead, a sure sign that he was feeling stressed. I stood behind him, kneading my hands soothingly into his shoulders as Edward came forward to lean across the desk, placing his hands, balled into fists, on the surface.
Edward continued without waiting for a reply. "He was a leader in one of the Southern covens. A large one from everything that I can tell… and one of the most powerful if his thoughts are anything to go by."
"That's not surprising, Edward. Based on his… appearance… we'd assumed as much." Carlisle spoke in a strained voice.
"And it explains quite a bit," I interjected quietly.
"He's dangerous," Edward hissed, his eyes fierce. "I don't trust him, and I don't like having him here."
"I understand your concern, Edward, but what do you want me to do?" Carlisle spoke, attempting to keep the hint of frustration from his voice.
"I don't know," Edward admitted. "I just don't like this."
"Is there anything that the rest of us should be aware of? Have you heard anything in his thoughts to make you think he's planning anything… harmful?" Carlisle asked reluctantly. He hated using Edward's gift in any intrusive way, but under the circumstances we needed to know.
A strange look passed over Edward's face, one looking strangely like chagrin. "Not exactly," he admitted reluctantly.
"Then what exactly is it?" I asked, my interest piqued by his hesitation to answer.
"His thoughts are usually more defensive rather than offensive." I could tell that Edward wasn't happy at all having to admit that. It was written all over his face. But that information made so many things click right into place in my mind… all the clues had been right in front of us all along.
"Alice," I said. That had to be the reason for his defensiveness. It all made sense in that case.
Edward's face turned sullen, further proving to me that that was the reason. "Yes," he grumbled under his breath.
"Well, then everything should be just fine. Based on where he's come from and the life he must have lived, of course a family of our size would be intimidating to him. He just needs time to adjust, to realize that we're no threat either to him or to Alice."
"But you don't understand," Edward persisted. He ran an impatient hand through his unruly hair. "I don't even really know how to explain it properly… but nearly every thought in his mind is somehow related to Alice. I've never seen anyone more fiercely protective of another person than he is of her.
"It won't matter if there is an actual danger or not, if he so much as perceives a threat to her, he will act first and ask his questions later. And, if that happens, I can assure you, there won't be any second chances for the offending party. He'll make certain of that."
"We just have to make sure that he has no reason to perceive that threat, then." I tried to soothe him.
"You're taking their side," Edward's eyes widened in surprise, a clear accusation in his tone.
"I'm not taking sides at all," I told him, using what he termed my mother-voice. "But there's nothing to be done. Alice is a lovely girl – "
"It's not her I have a problem with," he interrupted sourly.
"Edward," I warned. His eyes turned towards the window, his teeth gritted together. "Jasper will come around. Give him time. There isn't anything else we can do but that. Edward?" I called again when he didn't respond.
His head jerked once in a reluctant nod. "Fine." He turned to leave the office, but I stepped forward, blocking his path. I knew that he was only concerned about our safety. He was worried. And he meant well. I could never fault him for that.
I reached up to frame his face in both of my hands. "Everything will work out in time, you'll see," I assured him, brushing a wayward lock of hair from his forehead.
"Maybe," he grumbled.
Chuckling, I stood on tip-toe to kiss his cheek. "It will. Mother knows best, remember?"
That served to bring a reluctant smile to his lips. "Yes, mother."
"And in the meantime, Edward, don't antagonize him. You'll only give him reason to keep his guard up longer."
"I'll try," he agreed reluctantly.
"All right, then."
With that, he slipped out of the room, letting the door click shut quietly behind him. We all knew nothing was really solved. But it helped to have a little more understanding of the situation, nevertheless.
I was in the garden, pruning back the dying blooms when Jasper and Alice returned from their hunt later that day. I could hear them in the distance before I could see them, the high sound of Alice's voice carrying on the breeze. She was speaking animatedly about something, and, to my surprise, I heard the unmistakable sound of Jasper's low bass chuckle for the first time and the deep timbre of his voice, shaded with warmth, as he responded to her.
He obviously wasn't aware of my presence yet, too intent on what Alice was saying. I took this unexpected chance to observe Jasper as he was at ease. He was gazing down at her with an inexpressibly tender look in his eyes. What Edward had said about Alice being in his every thought made absolute sense now based on what I saw in front of me now and everything we'd seen in the last week. His look was one of undisguised adoration – like she was the most precious thing in life to him. I averted my eyes quickly, feeling like I'd witnessed something very private and intimate. Something they wouldn't want anyone else to see.
Instead, I observed their body language. Their hands were intertwined, swinging between them as they walked, their fingers laced together. He was angled towards her, leaning down slightly to lessen the difference in their heights. She was peering up at him with a look in her eyes that said he was the only one in her world at this very moment. The nature of their relationship was incredibly obvious when seen like this. I wondered now how I'd ever doubted it in the first place.
I knew the very moment Jasper became aware of my presence. His posture stiffened, his expressionless mask slipping right back into place as they drew closer. He didn't release Alice's hand from his, but his defenses were undoubtedly put up once more.
Alice didn't seem perturbed. Her smile didn't falter, and instead it seemed to become one of almost a loving indulgence as she glanced up at him.
"Did you have a nice hunt?" I asked as they reached me.
"We did, thank you," Alice chirped brightly. She looked over the expanse of the garden that was dwindling down, the last of the blooms succumbing to the crisp fall air. "I'll be anxious to see your gardens in the spring. Things are always more beautiful in person than they appear in my visions," she told me, smiling. "The roses especially will be even lovelier next summer. They seemed to just be getting established this year."
Alice squeezed Jasper's hand, flashing a bright, reassuring smile up at him, before releasing her hand from his and folding herself down on the ground beside me. "What's the name of these?" she asked, gently fingering one of the glossy leaves.
Jasper tensed visibly as she walked away from him and settled down so closely to me. He was quite clearly ill at ease, hovering only a few steps away.
"Jasper," Alice called to him, "Emmett and Edward are inside. They're going to be turning on the radio in a few minutes to listen to a football game. I'm sure they wouldn't mind if you joined them."
"I'm fine here," he said tersely.
I wasn't surprised to hear him say that. I would have been more surprised if he'd actually agreed to it. He had yet to let Alice out of his sight in the week they'd been with us – guarding her closely as if her life, and his, depended on his watchfulness.
"Don't be silly," Alice told him, her voice gently reproving. "I want to talk to Esme… girl stuff," she teased lightly. "You wouldn't be interested. Go on," she reassured him. "I'm fine."
His face was unreadable as he seemed to consider what she'd said. "If you're sure…" he said hesitantly, clearly not wanting to leave her alone, but not wanting to deny her what she asked either.
"I'm sure," she promised. "I'll be inside in just a few minutes."
To my surprise, he nodded reluctantly and slipped into the house, leaving us alone. A few minutes later, I could hear the sound of the radio droning on and the cheers coming mostly from Emmett. As Alice and I talked quietly in the garden, we listened to them inside, smiling to ourselves as eventually three voices carried on conversation about the game – Emmett, Edward, and, finally, Jasper, joining in with them.
Alice couldn't hide the smile from her face… one of relief and, it seemed, triumph.
We seemed to reach a turning point after that. With each day, Jasper seemed to be relaxing more around us. Alice was happy, and, once he determined that we were no threat to her, he let down his guard a little bit at a time. He still didn't say much, but his posture lost its defensive stance, and his eyes no longer retained their hard glint. He seemed more confused by us than threatened now.
Around Christmastime, Rose, Alice, and I went into town to the mall. Alice had been buzzing with excitement for days before we'd gone, barely able to talk about anything else. And seeing how excited she was about it, Jasper didn't protest being separated for the day, even though we knew he didn't like it. It was the longest they'd been apart since they'd been with us. He'd been uncomfortable letting her out of his sight for that long.
It was equally amusing and awe-inspiring to watch Alice shop that day. She was like a child on Christmas morning the way her eyes lit up every time she discovered something new. Her excitement was infectious as she flitted like a tiny whirlwind from one display to another. She didn't tire of the stores at all, and it wasn't until they were getting ready to close for the night that we were able to pry her away, all of us loaded down with bags and packages.
"Alice, are you sure you have everything?" Rose asked drily as we loaded everything in the car. "It would be a shame to have to come back another day, you know."
Alice stuck her tongue out at Rosalie, making a face. Rosalie bit back a smile as Alice linked her arm through hers.
"You know what would look amazing with that lavender blouse you bought?" Alice enthused as the three of us climbed into the car to head back home.
The men were at the house waiting on us; they'd all spent the day out hunting and having some male bonding time. Jasper was the first one to reach the door, obviously eager to get back to Alice. His face when he saw her was priceless.
"Alice!" he exclaimed in surprise as she came in from the garage with her arms laden with bags piled so high her face was hidden from view.
"Hi," she chirped happily, laying her things down and standing on the very tip of her toes to kiss his cheek.
"Darlin, did you leave anything at all in the stores?" he asked incredulously.
She just rolled her eyes exaggeratedly, but she wasn't able to keep up her pretended offense at his question for long. "Oh, Jasper, I had so much fun today! You won't believe what all I found," she trilled, keeping up a running commentary on everything she'd bought. Jasper's eyes were wide and more than a little overwhelmed as she continued. "I'll be right back," she told him, turning to head back out to the car.
"There's more?" His face was slightly horrified.
"Only a little," she assured him innocently.
He just shook his head as she disappeared, expelling a short breath. "Here," he said, turning towards me, "I'll take those." He reached for the bags that I still held, relieving me of them. I'd been too amused by their little interaction to think to put them down.
"Thank you, Jasper," I said, touched by the sweet, gentlemanly gesture, as he set them by the stairs for me. "Alice seemed to enjoy herself today."
"So it would seem," he said sardonically.
"I enjoyed watching her have so much fun."
His mouth twisted in a wry grin. "I'm sure it was something to see."
Alice flashed back into the room then, picking up her excited chatter as if she'd never stopped. She loaded Jasper's arms, as well as her own, with her purchases and then took his hand, dragging him up to their room.
Edward sat on the couch with Emmett, trying to hide his obvious amusement. I could only imagine the thoughts that must be going through Jasper's head at the moment as Alice's running monologue continued.
Not long after that, Emmett and Edward slipped out of the house to hunt, and Rose took her new purchases upstairs to put them away. Carlisle had one of his medical journals open on his lap, and I settled beside him, content just to be near him after being separated all day.
Jasper came back down the stairs just a few minutes later. From Rosalie's room I could hear the two girls talking animatedly as they put together new outfits, finding common ground in their shared love for pretty clothes.
Jasper's face was bemused as he slunk into the chair across the room from us.
I smiled over at him. "I think we might have created a monster today, Jasper."
His lips turned up in a half smile, and he chuckled softly. "I think the monster was already there, just waiting inside to be set free." He shrugged, "She's happy, though, and that's all that matters."
He fell silent after that. It wasn't an awkward silence anymore; he was just naturally quiet. Though, it was getting easier to engage him in conversation as he grew more comfortable. The more I observed him the way he was with Alice, the way he interacted with the rest of us, I was quite positive that there was a good, upstanding young man hiding behind those heavy walls of his. He just needed time to let his defenses down so we could see that.
His guard seemed to be down more and more these days, and that gave me hope that we were making progress… that we were finally seeing the real him, even though there was so much about him that we didn't know.
We still knew next to nothing about his life before he showed up on our doorstep with Alice. We didn't even really know much about their early relationship. Alice had said that she'd seen him and knew they were meant for each other… that she'd found him in a diner years later. But they gave few other details than that.
The two of them were very private with their relationship and very protective of each other. Unlike Emmett and Rosalie who had no issues flaunting their love for all to see, Jasper and Alice were very quiet with theirs, preferring to keep it just between the two of them. There was no mistaking the depth of their love for each other, though. The intimacy that could be communicated in one glance of theirs was more obvious than the most flagrant of Rose and Emmett's displays.
He adored her just as she adored him.
I was curious about Jasper though – about where he'd come from to make him the man that he was. So, after several long moments of silence, broken only by the girls' continual chattering from upstairs, I spoke, clearly surprising Jasper.
"Texas," I said suddenly.
"Excuse me?" He blinked a couple of times, obviously confused.
"I've been trying for weeks to place your accent. I thought at first maybe it was Alabama or Georgia," I said conversationally. "Emmett was from the South, too, you know. He grew up in Tennessee. His accent was admittedly a little more… backwoods…" I said, trying to put it tactfully. "We don't hear it much anymore unless he's trying to annoy Rosalie. She thought it made him sound uneducated."
A smile played at Jasper's lips. "I see. So, you think it's Texas, do you?"
"I do. I've given it a lot of thought, and that's my final guess."
He ducked his head once in a nod. "You'd be right. San Antonio to be exact."
"I knew it." I smiled triumphantly, and, seeing that he didn't seem to be uncomfortable with my probing so far, I went just a little bit further. "And I would guess your birth to have been around the 1890s," I told him.
"What makes you say that?" he asked, appearing to be intrigued.
"You have that air of old-fashioned Southern gentility about you." I was seeing that unveiled the more he relaxed around us.
"You think so?" He raised one eyebrow. "That's your guess?"
"It is."
"Well, you'd be wrong about that one."
"Earlier or later?" I asked, watching his face carefully to make sure I wasn't pushing him too much. I didn't want to cause him to retreat behind his walls again. Carlisle had looked up from his text at this point, watching our back-and-forth with interest.
"Earlier."
"1870."
"No, ma'am. You're closer, but you're still off by a few years." Amusement colored his voice.
"1850."
"1843," he told me, fighting a grin. "You were close."
"Did you fight in the war, then?" I asked, hesitating just slightly. I didn't want to probe too deep and lose any progress we'd made. He was more open now than I'd ever seen him.
His smile faltered, his expression becoming serious again, but still not closed off as I'd feared. "I did." His eyes became faraway, caught up in memories, I assumed. I didn't expect him to speak again, and I wasn't going to until he did, so it surprised me when he volunteered any further information.
"I enlisted when I was a few weeks away from my seventeenth birthday. Told them I was twenty, and they believed me. Two years later I was Major Jasper Whitlock in the Army of the Confederate States of America – the youngest Major in Texas history even with my assumed age."
His voice was distant, almost as if he had forgotten he was speaking to us, and it trailed off at the end as silence descended over the room again.
"I served for a while in an army hospital during in the war," Carlisle told him. "Even without the aid of an immortal memory, that kind of devastation is not something I'd ever have been able to forget."
"I know," Jasper's demeanor was distant but not cold, his voice barely louder than a whisper.
As the evening passed, Carlisle and Jasper shared stories of their experiences. Jasper seemed especially interested in the things Carlisle had seen during his early years in America, when the country had been so new. As they talked, it became clear that Jasper had a very keen, intellectual mind. A few hours into their conversation, Carlisle took Jasper up to show him his library where he had countless books, not only on medicine, but on history and philosophy and nearly any other topic imaginable. He encouraged him to feel free to take anything he'd like to read.
In the days that followed, Jasper did just that. He always seemed to have a book in hand when he wasn't with Alice. And I was glad he'd found something he enjoyed to occupy his time while Alice played with her new clothes.
The next few months were peaceful. Jasper and Alice settled in, finding their places in the structure of our family. Edward and Jasper had seemed to call an unspoken truce after the first few difficult months. They didn't necessarily seek each other out for company yet, but there wasn't any underlying tension between them anymore. That gave me hope that eventually they'd work on finding common ground and building a brotherly relationship. They had such similar personalities in many ways.
Over those months, it was easy to find ways to show love to Alice. She was always open and receptive to us. Jasper was a little more difficult. Though he was growing more comfortable with us by the day, he was naturally more reserved than his bubbly, exuberant mate. He didn't invite gestures of affection or anything of that nature with anyone aside from Alice.
It became my mission to find some way to reach out to him… to find some way to show him that he was part of our family now. That he had a place with us. It wasn't until the spring that I found the way to do just that.
We had decided to leave our current home and move to Calgary. It just made sense to. The house we had there was much bigger and could accommodate our larger family more easily. I'd been mulling over ideas as we'd begun unpacking in the new location.
Alice, working right beside me, grew wide-eyed as I contemplated the idea I kept coming back to. Her head snapped up. "Oh, Esme, he'd love that. It's perfect for him."
"You think so?" I asked uncertainly.
Alice giggled airily at my question. "I don't think. I know."
I had to laugh at the foolishness of my question. Not only did she knew her mate better than anyone, she could foresee how he would react as soon as I made my decision. "That settles it, then. Want to help me?"
"It would be my pleasure," she grinned conspiratorially.
We kept our activities secret over the next few days, enlisting only Carlisle to help us out. Edward knew, of course; it was impossible to keep anything from him. But we knew he'd say nothing to spoil the surprise.
Jasper knew something was going on. He could feel the anticipation from all of us, but since he knew Alice was in on it, he didn't seem to be too worried. Only curious.
When everything was arranged and ready for him, Carlisle, Alice, and I led him up the stairs. Once at the top, Alice hopped onto his back, winding her legs around his waist.
"Alice, what?" His face was a mask of confusion as she cupped her hands over his eyes.
"No peeking." She lowered her head to kiss the side of his neck.
"You could have just said 'no peeking.'" He fought a smile as he placed his hands on her legs, supporting her.
"I could have, but it's more fun this way."
She directed him down length of the hallway since she'd cut off his sight, and I marveled at how unconcerned he seemed about being at that disadvantage now. He'd come a long way in a relatively short amount of time.
"Okay, you can open your eyes now," Alice said with barely restrained excitement when she had him just inside the room at the very end of the hallway on the third floor. She removed her hands and hopped off of his back, coming to stand beside me.
Jasper's eyes widened in surprise, his only reaction for several long, silent moments as he took everything in. "What… what is this?" he stammered finally, looking back and forth between the three of us.
Carlisle smiled warmly at him. "Jasper, I know our family can be a bit overwhelming at times," he began.
"Yes," I continued, "and we wanted you to have someplace that was all your own – somewhere you could come to when you need space or just time to yourself."
"So this," Alice said, gesturing around the room, "is yours. You can come in here and shut the door when you need to be alone, and no one will bother you."
Jasper wandered slowly around the room, the tips of his fingers tracing the back of the plush, brown leather couch and the spines of the books that lined the shelves which took up three walls of the bright, open room.
His face was absolutely unreadable as the silence stretched on. I would have been worried about that if Alice hadn't been so confident that he would like it. Her teeth pressed into her lower lip now as she tried to contain her grin. Expectation was written on her face as she watched him take it all in.
Finally, he ran his hand over the back of his neck and turned back to face us. The look on his face was one that I couldn't quite identify, but it was obvious that this touched him more than he really wanted – or was able – to admit.
"I don't – " he stammered, glancing down at the ground, "I don't know what to say. Just… thank you," he said. His voice was quiet but there was no doubting its sincerity.
"Is it all right?" I asked him. "If something's not to your liking, we can always change it."
He was shaking his head before I even finished. "No. It's perfect. And… very thoughtful."
"I'm glad you like it." Very tentatively, I reached up to cup his cheek in my hand. To my surprise, he didn't withdraw, he actually leaned in just slightly. It was the first time I knew of that he'd allowed any physical contact from any of us aside from Alice. And Alice knew that. She was trying not to bounce on the balls of her feet, so excited was she about all of this.
When I dropped my hand, she linked her fingers through his and pulled him over to the desk set against the fourth wall. "Come look at this," she chimed, proceeding to show him what all we'd placed inside the drawers… everything we'd thought he might need.
As she did that, Carlisle and I slipped quietly from the room and left them in peace. We were well satisfied with the results of our efforts. The look on his face had been worth it all.
The years that followed weren't without their difficulties as the seven of us adjusted together to the new dynamics within our family. There were the occasional disagreements and passing tensions. But we always found ways to work through them. And each one made us stronger in the end.
It took two years and a very confrontational visit from Jasper's maker for him to realize and admit that he didn't want to be on the outskirts of our family any longer. He wanted to truly be one of us. He wanted to finally be a Cullen.
That was a transition that I'd made in my heart long before. My mother-love had grown to envelop both Jasper and Alice long before there was any official declaration of it. They were two pieces of our family that we'd been unaware were missing before they appeared. We hadn't quite been complete without them. We just hadn't known it yet.
But now they were home. Right where they belonged.
There you have it! I know the ending line heavily echoes Awake and Alive, but considering how closely related the two projects are, I didn't think anyone would roll their eyes at me too much. ;)
I do hope you enjoyed this little side piece. It was a lot of fun for me to write! I'm VERY anxious to get your opinions, though. Pretty please with sugar and Jasper on top (heehee) hit that little review button and let me know what you thought!
Thanks so, so much for reading!
Nik
