The Taming of the Shrew: Enduction

Characters (in order of appearance):

Hortensio *

Lucentio *

The Lord

Page (Bartholomew) *

Christopher Sly

Katherine *

Petruchio *

* Actors portraying Hortensio, Lucentio, or Page can double as Katherine or Petruchio.

ENDUCTION

(The scene opens during the play being performed for Christopher Sly, Page {as Lady}, and The Lord. Hortensio and Lucentio are on a mock stage in front of the three men.)

HORTENSIO

Now, go thy ways, thou hast tamed a curst shrew.

LUCENTIO

'Tis a wonder, by your leave, she will be tamed so.

(Hortensio and Lucentio exit. The Lord jumps to his feet and claps excitedly. Page applauds modestly, but Christopher Sly shows no reaction.)

THE LORD (sitting down)

I dare say, that was an amazing performance. Simply splendid. Doest thou not agree?

PAGE (as Lady)

Yes, my lord. It was rather entertaining.

CHRISTOPHER SLY

Me thinks the play hast a moral to the story. (Turns to Page) That a wife should be honorable to thy husband and doest as he commands.

(Page laughs nervously.)

PAGE (as Lady, nervously)

Uh...me thinks its time for me to...uh...take my leave. Goodbye.

(Page exits hurriedly.)

THE LORD

Me thinks thou hast scared thy lady off. Perhaps thou ist in need of taming.

CHRISTOPHER SLY

No, thou ist wrong. (mockingly) Art thou forgetting whom ist the master and owner of this estate? Me, not you. So I have the power and you don't.

(The Lord grumbles annoyingly. He is obviously getting tired of the joke. Sly ignores this behavior.)

CHRISTOPHER SLY

As I was saying, a wife ist thy husband's servant, keeper, trophy piece, etc. It is her duty to do as asked. Why where would we be if women ran the world? Doest thou not agree with me?

(The Lord grumbles even louder than before. His complaints are loud enough to be heard by the audience.)

THE LORD

Knew this was a bad idea from the start...must stop it now...he's getting too... must be someway to stop him.

CHRISTOPHER SLY

Didst thou hear me, Lord? Doest thou not agree with my views on women?

THE LORD (pretends he has heard)

Of course, sir. I heard you. Yes, I agree with you.

(The Lord resumes his grumbling.)

CHRISTOPHER SLY

Good, I knew you would. As I was saying -

KATHERINE (offstage)

I ought to kill you!!!

(Enter Petruchio and Katherine. Katherine appears to be chasing Petruchio. They stop in front of Sly and The Lord.)

CHRISTOPHER SLY

Honestly, what is the meaning of all this? I was in the middle of a monologue and a very good one might I add.

PETRUCHIO (out of breath)

She...was...angry with...her role in...the...story. She...said it...degraded her and...she...blames...me for it.

KATHERINE (irritated)

Angry doesn't even begin to describe how I feel. Thou hast pushed my gender to the very bottom of the ladder and I willst not stand for it. We are human beings, not slaves.

PETRUCHIO

But why doest thou blame me?

KATHERINE

You're the one with all the lines on how a woman's place is in the home.

PETRUCHIO (annoyed)

Excuse me if I'm mistaken, but art thou the one with the monologue that stresses the same message.

KATHERINE (irritated)

Which thou wrote? Or am I mistaken?

CHRISTOPHER SLY

That ist enough. Really, Petruchio, can't thou not control this woman.

(Petruchio looks sternly at Katherine. She growls at him and he jumps back in horror.)

PETRUCHIO

Frankly, I would, sir, if I wasn't afraid of her.

CHRISTOPHER SLY (can't believe what he's hearing)

Excuse me, afraid...of her. But she's a woman.

PETRUCHIO

True, but thou hast not seen her get truly angry. Its enough to make any creature cower in fear. Even you.

(Sly sighs in disgust.)

KATHERINE

Darn right.

CHRISTOPHER SLY

I don't believe what I am hearing. This ist absolutely disgraceful. Lord, canst thou believe this either?

(THE LORD hasn't been paying attention to what has happened. He has been grumbling the whole time and getting angrier by the minute. Upon hearing SLY call his name, THE LORD glares at him.)

THE LORD

I really have no idea what thou art talking about and moreover I do not care.

CHRISTOPHER SLY (shocked)

Well, that's very rude. Thou art fired!!!

THE LORD (jumping out of his seat)

Thou canst not fire me!

CHRISTOPHER SLY

Yes I can. Am I not the lord, the master, THE KING?

THE LORD

No, thou art not!!!

CHRISTOPHER SLY

What!?!

PETRUCHIO

At last, the truth comes out.

THE LORD

It wast all a joke. There. I've said it and may God have mercy on my soul.

(SLY'S mouth drops open. He is in a state of shock at finding out the truth. THE LORD and PETRUCHIO stare back at him.)

KATHERINE

I guess this wouldst not be a good time to mention my reform movement.

(SLY, THE LORD, and PETRUCHIO turn around to stare at KATHERINE.)

SLY, THE LORD, PETRUCHIO

What!?!

KATHERINE

My new reform movement. While thou men were arguing about that stupid joke- (whispers to the audience) which we were in on-I decided to put thy views into action. Its time women took back what was and always hast been theirs-

PETRUCHIO

Oh, no!

KATHERINE

By that I mean-

PETRUCHIO

Now she's done it.

KATHERINE

Women's rights.

(PETRUCHIO buries his head in his hands. THE LORD and SLY continue to stare confusedly at KATHERINE.)

CHRISTOPHER SLY

Woman, art thou serious?

KATHERINE

Why I have never been more serious of anything in thy life. It'll be the start of a new era. Women's rights! Women's rights! Women's rights!

(KATHERINE exits still chanting "women's rights.")

CHRISTOPHER SLY

She can't be serious.

PETRUCHIO (Removes head from hands)

Like she told thou, she ist completely 100% serious. When Katherine sayist she shall do something, thou hat better believe that she will do it.

THE LORD (turning to CHRISTOPHER SLY)

Well, like the lady said, it's the start of a new era.

CHRISTOPHER SLY

And the end of life for us.

(KATHERINE enters, still chanting. She is carrying posters that say "Votes for Women. She hands them out to SLY, THE LORD, and PETRUCHIO. They march with her in a circle, chanting like she is. SLY stops and turns to face the audience.)

CHRISTOPHER SLY

Oh, well. No one ever said change wast a good thing.

(He returns to the circle of chanters.)

THE END