Hello, everyone! :) This is the first chapter to my first Dangan Ronpa fanfic (though, not to say I haven't written fanfics before. I've actually written quite a few before on a different account!) I hope I'll keep everyone relatively in character, but please tell me if I make mistakes.

I get the feeling this fic will probably run more on comedy than actual plot. Whoops? XD

I'll just say this now: in the narration everyone will be referred to as their first names, but with dialog I'll be using the last names and honorifics used in the original Japanese dub. If this ends up being too weird or confusing then I'll change it ^^'

I ended up using 'Ultimate' instead of 'SHSL' for some reason... Probably because I've been watching a let's play. I've grown used to the English dub because of it XD

Well, enough of my babbling. I hope you all enjoy what will end up being a very strange fanfic. :)


The past few days had been peaceful—well, as peaceful as things could be on Jabberwock Island—and that seemed to be reason enough for celebration. Hajime wasn't sure why, though. Peace was nice, of course it was, but was their situation really so bad that they had to throw a party just because nothing had gone wrong?

The party was suggested by Usami, who had appeared during the usual morning meet up in a happier mood than usual. It was rare for everyone to get through a week without anything strange happening, usually due to Nagito's luck, Mikan's clumsiness, Hiyoko's pranks or Monokuma just trying to cause trouble (or, as one unfortunate day proved, all four at once and more), and Usami seemed convinced that a party was needed to celebrate this unusual event. Besides, everyone was getting along so well and doing such a good job of collecting hope fragments, the rabbit had told them, that a party would surely be the best sort of reward for all their hard work.

There were no objections, Sonia and Ibuki seeming the most excited. The party would be held in the restaurant, the place they usually met up, and with one wave of her magic stick Usami filled the room with streamers and balloons. Teruteru went to prepare the food and Ibuki dived out the restaurant while promising to set up some entertainment, and everyone decided that the party would officially start after the night-time announcement.

So there they were, talking, laughing, eating and, in Ibuki's case, screaming loudly into a microphone as if they were all perfectly normal teenagers on a perfectly normal island on a perfectly normal school trip. Hajime shook his head, leaning against one of the tables as he took a sip from a glass of orange juice. He didn't think he would ever understand how everyone else managed to relax and have fun no matter what was thrown at them. Maybe Nagito's paranoia was rubbing off on him, but wouldn't celebrating the fact that nothing had gone wrong make it even more likely for something to happen?

It was then Hajime realised that the chatter in the restaurant was devoid of a certain someone's hopeful ramblings. He craned his neck to look over the sea of his classmates; there wasn't even a glimpse of a mess of white hair, and Hajime frowned. Nagito was nice, if pretty damn strange, and had also been a good source of hope fragments, but there was something about him that made Hajime think leaving him to his own devices wasn't always the best idea.

He turned to the closest person he could find, which happened to be Kazuichi. Sonia and Gundham were talking to each other quite happily at the other side of the room, and Kazuichi seemed only a few seconds away from running over there and pushing them apart.

"Hey," Hajime said, tapping Kazuichi's shoulder and somehow managing to get his attention away from Sonia. "Have you seen Komaeda anywhere?"

Kazuichi seemed a little irritated at being interrupted, though when he actually heard Hajime's question he looked almost surprised. "What, didn't you hear? A tree fell while he was walking past for some reason and he got hit. Tsumiki's pretty much put him under house arrest until he gets better."

"Wh—? A tree?"

"Yeah, but don't worry," Kazuichi said, shrugging. "He just sprained his ankle. Besides that he wasn't injured at all. Don't ask me how that makes sense because I don't know either."

Hajime didn't know why he was even surprised. Still, at least this meant he didn't have to worry about what Nagito was up to, since he wouldn't go against the words of the Ultimate Nurse while injured, though it was unlucky for him that he had to miss the party. Hajime wondered if he should check on him later to make sure he wasn't dying of boredom.

He had taken too long to reply again and so Kazuichi had returned to spying on Sonia. Hajime decided to leave him to it, not wanting to be part of the eventual argument that would involve a lot of yelling and hamster bites. Instead he gave the party one more inspection. Akane and Byakuya were both by the food table, Mahiru was keeping a careful eye on Hiyoko to make sure she didn't torment Mikan who was dithering in a corner, Peko and Nekomaru were discussing something most likely about training regimes, and Ibuki had somehow convinced Fuyukiko and Teruteru to join her on the 'stage,' resulting in two of the most reluctant backup dancers Hajime had ever seen. All in all, the party was going well.

It occurred to Hajime that he couldn't see Chiaki anywhere. He had seen her playing on the arcade machine downstairs when he was walking to the party, and when he asked if she would be going up to the restaurant she said she just wanted to finish one more level and that she would join them all later. Was she still down there? It wasn't unusual for Chiaki to lose track of time while playing video games; he should probably go remind her about the party before she ended up missing the whole thing.

He would never get the chance, however. Before Hajime could even move, there was a black and white blur from out the corner of his eye. A familiar bear was stood on the table when he turned.

"Oh? What do we have here? A party?" Monokuma cackled. "Pretty boring party if you ask me. Too much sappy friendship and hope. Where's the excitement?"

Hajime tensed, feeling an unshakable sense of unease. Usually Monokuma was nothing more than an easy to ignore annoyance, but today there was obvious malicious intent.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, his tone guarded.

"Me?" Monokuma tilted his head, as if confused. "I live on this island too, you know. You were all having this party and didn't even think to invite me…" He wiped away an imaginary tear. "That makes me a sad bear… Ever since that stupid rabbit defeated me you guys have all treated me like some pest. Well, that—!"

Monokuma froze. He seemed to have realised that the only one actually paying attention to him was Hajime. No one else had even noticed him, unable to hear him over the laughter and Ibuki's music.

"See? See?!" Monokuma yelled, and Hajime wondered if he should follow everyone else's example and just ignore him. "I used to be feared, you know! People wouldn't even look at me funny because they knew that I could easily punish them. Now look at me! I'm just some ignored piece of decoration that no one even bothers to invite to their parties!"

Is he really that upset just because he wasn't invited...? Hajime thought.

"But that ends now!" Monokuma continued, and as he said this he held something high above his head. The sight was rather ridiculous but it was one that made Hajime realise he should probably start worrying. In Monokuma's grasp was Usami's magic stick.

He remembered the way Usami had once turned a chicken into a cow using the magic stick and took an involuntary step back. A slightly panicked part of his brain told him to call out to the others so that they could see Monokuma was currently wielding a possible weapon of mass destruction.

"Why do you have that?" Hajime asked, desperately hoping someone would just turn around and notice the talking bear. Monokuma wasn't even being discrete.

"I snuck it out of Usami's house while she was in the shower." Monokuma's tone gained an almost dangerous edge, and he spoke again before Hajime could even question why a stuffed rabbit needed to take showers.

"In a way, this school trip hasn't been a complete waste of time," Monokuma said, pointing the stick forward like a sword. "After all, it's given me a lot of time to think. I had a whole bunch of motives planned to get you all to kill each other, some personal, some more along the lines of locking you in a tower with no food or water until someone dies, but I've scrapped them all now. I don't care about class trials and executions anymore! I just want to see blood and chaos! I want to see despair! And I have the perfect way to get it. Now then, Hinata-kun... You're really plain, you know that? Completely boring."

Hajime could only glare in response.

"Absolutely ordinary, especially compared to the rest of these guys. You're like the protagonist of every anime ever." Monokuma's eye gleamed red. "Say, for example, a harem anime."

"...Wait, what?"

"A harem anime!" Monokuma laughed. "Where the boring, unassuming guy gets everyone to fall for him! You're perfect for that sort of situation! And we're on a tropical island right now—wouldn't you say that's the best sort of setting?"

Monokuma began to wave the magic stick, a bright pink glow shining from the gem on top. Hajime probably would have laughed at the scene, a small stuffed bear holding what looked like a children's toy, if it wasn't for the fact that he had every reason to fear for his life.

Behind him, the party had grown quiet, the noise replaced by gasps and concerned murmurs. It seemed everyone else had noticed the pink light and, by extension, Monokuma using Usami's magic stick—finally, Hajime thought dryly.

"From now on," Monokuma said, holding the glowing stick up high, staring Hajime dead in the eye, "every person you see in this room will slowly start to fall in love with you, Hinata-kun. Their love will grow more and more every day." He chuckled, a low, evil sound. "I wonder what'll happen first. Will they kill each other out of jealousy? Or will they grow so obsessed with you that they'll end up ripping you to shreds? Upupupu... I can't wait to find out!"

There was a flash of pink light before Hajime could even yell. He wasn't sure what to expect—pain, burning, or at least something—but besides the need to shield his eyes from the light, Hajime couldn't say he felt any different. When the light cleared he turned from the expectant bear to his classmates; though they seemed a little confused as to what was going on and why Monokuma was interrupting the party, they looked perfectly fine. There was not a single expression of obsessive love to be seen, and they definitely weren't trying to kill each other as Monokuma had said.

Monokuma seemed to notice the lack of anything happening. He tapped at the end of the magic stick as if it were nothing more than a faulty light bulb, looking genuinely confused.

"So..." Monokuma said to his silent audience. "Looks like a fun party you've got here! Mind if I join in—?"

Hajime would have loved to kick the damn bear out of the restaurant, and it was clear that his friends were having similar thoughts, but it was then that Usami appeared from seemingly nowhere, tackling Monokuma off the table and snatching the magic stick from him while he was caught off guard.

"Why are you here?" Hajime could hear Usami as the two plushies fought on the floor. "I told you to leave my students alone! You even took my magic stick—just what were you planning?"

"Gah! Nothing! I wasn't planning anything!" Monokuma yelped, being repeatedly hit with the magic stick. This bizarre scene was at first met with confused silence, but eventually a few members of the crowd must have decided it wasn't worth their time and went back to the party. Soon only a few of Hajime's classmates remained to watch the 'battle,' Hiyoko laughing her head off and Ibuki cheering Usami on.

"Hey, Hinata." Hajime turned to see Fuyuhiko, who was still staring at the fighting forms of Usami and Monokuma with a mix of amusement and bewilderment. "What the fuck was that all about? Monokuma had that stick and... what did he say? We're going to fall in love with...?" Fuyuhiko seemed to be having trouble comprehending what had happened.

"Ignore him," Hajime said in a way that was a lot more cheerful than he felt. "He was trying to pull some prank but it didn't work. There's not much point in worrying about it."

After a few seconds of thought, Fuyuhiko seemed to accept Hajime's answer. With an, "Okay, fine," he turned back to the rest of the party; Hajime saw him heading towards Peko.

Hajime sighed. Even though Monokuma's 'plan,' if it could be called that, had failed completely, he wasn't in the mood for partying anymore. He was starting to get a headache, though that could have been because of the noise. It would probably be a good idea for him to return to his cottage and sleep.

With one last glance around the restaurant, Hajime shook his head and made his way down the stairs.


—Chapter end.