So this is what I like to call a quickie. I wrote
it in about an hour, it even got a quick beta by Lilagirly herself. I wrote it
for her, but I'm sure she won't mind if ya'll read it too.
Nothing big, can't be much since I wrote it rather fast. But hey, you might
like it anyway. It was therapeutic, writing for me at the moment.
Title: Chances
Author: FerretGirl
Pairing: Angel/Wes (yeah yeah) and Wyndam-Pryce Sr.
Spoilers: Slight spoilers for AtS S5
Rating: Uhm...dunno. No violence, no sex, lota angst
Disclaimer: Not mine. If they were the boy's wouldn't get to leave my
room Damnit.
Thanks to LilacGirl for the quick beta.
Chances
Wesley stared at the phone. He was coming, by the end of this week. He was
coming. Bloody hell! Everything was going reasonably smoothly in his life. For
the first time he felt content. He had friends, family even, who respected him
and maybe even loved him. He was running Angel Investigations and that went
quite right as well. He had patched things up with most of the Sunnydale
people. And now he was coming. His Father.
And why this week? It was the anniversary of his mothers passing. Mum had died
when Wesley was seven years. He hardly remembered her. He did remember
resenting her leaving him alone with his father, to grow up with a man who
mourned his wife's passing and resented his failure of a son. A cold and
distant man who lived by the rules.
Wesley nervously chewed the nail of his thumb. Why was his father coming?
Something about having to tell him important news. Well that could be anything,
his father only talked to him if it was important.
No doubt he was coming over to see how his son had messed things up this time.
But Wesley hadn't messed things up, he knew that. But he also knew that his
father's view of things would be different. After all, he was working for...no
with.. a vampire. Running a shady little detective agency. He had lost not one
but two slayers, got fired from the council, was tortured by one of said
slayers, got fired by the vampire with the soul. If Wesley added everything up
and thought about it, then yes, he had managed to mess things up once again.
He wasn't a watcher, he didn't have a slayer to train, he wasn't working for
the council, he was a failure.
"Wes!" Angel took him by the shoulder to shake his friend slightly.
He had called out to him more then three times already but the ex-watcher
seemed to be very deep in thoughts. He was worried.
"Angel," Wesley looked up startled. He hadn't noticed that some one
had been trying to get his attention. "I'm sorry, I was..thinking,"
he apologized.
"Yeah I noticed that," Angel tried to smile a little. "Who was
on the phone that got you so rilled up?" He already had his suspicions
Wes was like this every time he had been talking to his father.
"It was," Wesley waved vaguely toward the phone, "my father."
He looked at Angel, "he coming here in two days. He said he had something
to tell me."
Angel could read Wesley like a book by now. He didn't like what he read this
time. Fear, insecurity, nervousness. It was in the body language and in the
eyes even though they were hidden behind the glasses. He didn't like it one
bit, every time Wyndam-Pryce senior called, this would happen.
Wesley had never told him much about his childhood. Only that, from what he
remembered, it was only him and his father. And that his father had high
expectations...and Wesley didn't live up to those. Then there were of course
the little slips that told Angel that Wesley's father was a strict, old
fashioned man. The kind that lived by the rule that children should be heard
and not be seen.
He remembered that kind of upbringing well. After all his own father had been
like that. Of course it had been a different time, but never the less he
understood.
"Did he tell you what it was about?" Angel grabbed Wesley's hand to
prevent him from chewing on the thumbnail again. If Wes kept that up there
wasn't going to be a thumb left by the time Wyndam-Pryce senior would arrive.
"No, no he didn't, just that it was important as it always is,"
Wesley sighed. He smiled weakly at Angel when the vampire grabbed his hand. He
held on tight to the hand, squeezing it lightly.
"It'll be okay Wes, don't worry," Angel said. He cupped Wes chin and
turned his face to look in his eyes. "And if not, just remember that you have
another family who's there for you okay?"
Wesley's smile became a little broader, but not less weaker. "I'll try to
remember that."
**********
Angel looked into the office where Wesley was pretending to read. He had sent
Cordelia and Gunn home. Even though they wanted to be here for Wes, they
understood that Wesley didn't want them to see him being degraded by his
father, as Wes had put it. They had left telling Angel to call them the moment
Wes needed them. Especially Cordelia had been very insistent.
Angel glanced at the clock as well when he saw Wesley doing it again. Almost
time. Any minute now the doors would open and Wyndam-Pryce senior would enter.
Angel couldn't help feeling curious about the man. He had formed this entire
image in his head. An image based on what he knew from what little Wes had
told him. He was curious to find out how much he was going to have to adjust
this image. After all you didn't live for over two hundred years to know that
most people could be completely different then they seemed at first glance.
He frowned when he saw Wesley had started pacing. Now there was a prime
example of not judging a book by its cover if there ever was one. The
ex-watcher had come a long way since Sunnydale Angel knew. He had been very
surprised to find out Wesley's sudden depths. Had been very surprised to find
out about the many layers hiding inside Wesley, layers that only now were
beginning to show.
Wesley walked out of the office, staring at the door. He fidgeted nervously at
his collar, adjusting a tie that wasn't there. He had changed clothes almost
six times this morning . Finally opting for something casual but well dressed.
He had even gone so far as asking Cordelia for advice. And for once had gotten
it without the usual snarks. He swallowed and looked over at Angel.
"Stop worrying Wes, it's going to be okay," Angel assured him for
the tenth time.
"I can't help it," Wesley whispered.
Angel was about to try and reassure Wesley some more when the door opened.
And there he was, Roger Wyndam-Pryce. A tall man, dressed in a light suit with
matching tie, grey hair, handsome features, but the lines in his face were
hardened by life. Angel noticed right away that he had the same intense blue
eye Wesley had. The man stood ramrod straight, with great dignity and looked
from Angel to Wesley. Angel waited, he was going to follow Wesley's lead here.
"Son," the deep voice of Roger Wyndam-Pryce rumbled.
Angel frankly was amazed. One word, just one word. And yet so much was said in
that one word. He saw Wesley flinch, whether it was because of how the word
was said or if it was an inbuilt reaction he didn't know.
"Father," Wesley answered softly. Hesitantly Wesley stepped forward
holding out his hand toward his father.
Roger looked at the hand for a moment before he took it and shook it. He
glanced back at Angel knowingly. He knew who this other man was, a vampire, a
creature of the night and his son worked with this creature.
"Angelus," Roger nodded toward Angel.
Well, Roger Wyndam-Pryce certainly was....polite, Angel had to admit that.
Angel didn't even react to the name Angelus, after all this was a watcher
addressing him, an old watcher. He had actually expected this.
Wesley how ever did react. "His name is Angel father, not Angelus,"
he said in a voice much stronger now.
Roger nodded, "Of course, he has a soul now, please forgive my rudeness,"
this last part was said to Angel again.
Taking his cue Angel walked toward the man and held out his hand. "It's
very nice to meet you," he lied.
Roger Wyndam-Pryce looked at the proffered hand and to his credit he only
hesitated a few second before reaching out to shake it. "It is very...interesting...to
meet you," the older man replied.
He dismissed Angel and turned toward his Son. "Wesley can we talk
somewhere private?"
Wesley was about to protest, was about to say that what ever his father had to
discuss this time he could do it in front of Angel, was about to say that
Angel and he had no secrets.
"You can go into the office," Angel quickly said. Now was not the
time to prove certain things, they could wait.
Wesley threw him a piercing look and sighed. His voice how ever was tightly
controlled, showing no emotions. "Yes, thank you. This way please father,"
he said leading the way.
Roger nodded toward Angel and followed his son into the office. Leaving his
luggage where he had disposed of it.
Angel watched. He saw how tense both men were, they were both nervous.
Although senior seemed better at hiding it then Wesley. But then again, he
knew Wesley far better then he knew Roger Wyndam-Pryce. He watched how they
talked, watched the angry hand gestures and then voices were raised. He
noticed Wesley's sudden stricken look. He noticed how Roger hesitantly tried
to reach out briefly before his hand dropped at his side again. Then he heard
Wesley cry out "Why now?" before he stormed out of the office and
out the door.
Angel jumped up ready to run after Wesley, until he remembered it was not yet
dark out. Sometimes being a vampire sucked. He stared at the door Wesley had
disappeared through debating if he should call Cordy or maybe Gunn. When the
deep voice of Wyndam-Pryce senior alerted him to the fact that the other man
was still there.
"It is hard to break a vicious circle," Roger said looking at Angel
steady.
Angel blinked at the the man, wondering what he meant. He waited for Roger to
continue.
"It is very hard to learn from the passed," Roger did indeed
continue. "To learn from the mistakes others have made. No matter how
much you vow to yourself not to make the same mistakes, it is easier and safe
to fall into the same patterns." Roger adjusted his tie and walked a
little closer to Angel.
Angel stood there, taking in the man's words. Making sure to take on a
non-threatening stance. Even though he doubted he could threaten this
man.
"It was a hard time when Emily, Wesley mother, died. For all of us,"
Roger said softly as if remembering things.
Angel looked surprised. This was a tone of voice he had heard before many
times, this was the way Wesley usually spoke. Never would he have imagined
hearing this tone from the man now standing before him.
"Wesley did though, he didn't turn into his grandfather, he..,"
Roger hesitated for a moment, as if he was about to give away a deep secret.
Maybe he was. "He didn't turn into me."
Angel was shocked. He could only stand there and stare at the man. This man
who just talked about his son, about Wesley with pride in his voice,
with love.
Roger gave him a half smile, "May I suggest something Angelus?" he
asked. Angel could only nod. "The sun has gone under, go and find him and
do what I am apparently incapable of doing." Having said that Roger
picked up his suitcase and started to walk toward the door when he turned
around. "Wesley knows where to find me if he wants to....talk."
Angel nodded again and watched Roger Wyndam-Pryce walk out the door.
**********
Angel found him in the in the yard of the Hyperion. It had softly started to
rain, but Wesley didn't seem to notice. Angel watched him for a few moments.
Taking in the slumped shoulders, the hanged head, the nervous twitching of the
hands. What ever Wyndam-Pryce senior had said to his son, it had made a deep
impact.
"You're going to catch a cold," Angel said trying to keep it light.
He walked up to Wesley and reached out to touch the other man's shoulder.
"He's going die." Wesley's voice was a mix of contradicting emotions.
Cold and indifferent, frightened and painful.
Angel sucked in an unneeded breath and put his hand on Wesley's shoulder,
squeezing it for comfort.
Wesley reached up to cover Angel's hand with his own. Angel waited, having no
doubt that there was going to be more.
"He might die," Wesley corrected himself, "Father said he was
here to have surgery tomorrow and that he might die." Wesley took in a
shaky breath. "He said I had done well with the agency."
Angel noticed that Wesley's eyes were blinking fast and he could feel the soft
tremors beginning to wrack through the body. He adjusted the hand on the
shoulder, so that now his arm was around the other man, pulling him closer.
Wesley leaned into the touch, the comfort, the safety. He chewed his lower
lip. "He said Mum would have been proud," it was said so softly that
Angel would have missed it were he not a vampire.
Wesley wrapped his arms around his waist and took another shaky breath. "Why
now? What am I going to do?" He asked at no one particular. He could feel
tears pricking in his eyes, he could feel a sob making its way up his throat.
He was shaking violently by now.
Feeling the sob even before it had escaped Angel put both arms around Wesley
and held him close. He rubbed his back as Wesley's tears mixed with the rain.
He held him tight as Wesley wrapped his arms around the vampire's waist. Just
stood there and waited for Wesley to let it all out.
"Do you know what my greatest regret was," Angel said when he felt
Wesley calm down. He didn't wait for Wes to answer. "I never got the
chance to talk to my dad, never got the chance to really talk to him,
to tell him what I really thought about him, never got to ask what he really
thought about me, never got the chance to tell him I loved him," Angel
could tell Wesley was listening to what he was trying to say.
Wesley sniffed and pulled back to look into Angel's eyes. "Will...would
you go with me tomorrow?" he asked quietly.
"Of course," Angel nodded and was once again surprised when Wesley
looked at him relieved. It still warmed and scared him to find out just how
much Wesley needed him. Just as much as he needed Wesley.
**********
Wesley hesitantly looking at the door. His father was in the room. Waiting for
his surgery, alone, probably scared even though that thought still was foreign
to Wesley's mind. His father was never scared. He felt Angel's comforting hand
on his back, giving him strength. He grabbed the hand before pushing open the
door and stepping into the room, pulling Angel with him.
Roger Wyndam-Pryce was lying in the bed. Somehow he seemed small, vulnerable,
nothing at all like the father Wesley had known growing up. He blinked at the
sight and took a step back when the older man turned around to look at him.
The eyes that before had held nothing but disappointed and contempt, now were
speaking a completely different language.
"You're here," Roger said, his voice making clear that he was
surprised.
"Yes," Wesley dug his hands into his pockets, unsure of what else to
do with them. He took a hesitant step toward the bed looking at his father.
"How...how are you feeling?" It was a rather stupid question Wesley
realized, but he had no idea what else he was supposed to say.
"Scared," Roger admitted, "but I'm very pleased that you are
here."
Wesley was shocked. He stared at his father with his mouth open, his eyes wide.
He was unable to say a word. His father had just admitted he was scared and
now...Wesley had to take of his glasses to clean them. He did not see this
right. He put the glasses back on his nose and stared at his father. No, his
father was still smiling at him.
"Close you mouth boy, you're catching flies," Roger said. There was
however no venom in the voice, no disappointment. Carefully Roger reached out
with his hand toward Wesley.
Wesley closed his mouth with an audible snap and looked at the hand. He
hesitated, unsure of what to do, but Angel's hand pushing him toward his
father spoke volumes. Slowly Wesley grasped his fathers cold hand.
"Will you be here when..." Roger asked his voice trailing off.
"I'll be waiting," Wesley said squeezing his father's hand.
The nurse came into the room informing them that they could wait in the
waiting room, they had to go now Mr. Wyndam-Pryce had to be taken to the
surgery room.
Wesley and Roger looked into each others eyes for a moment. Blue meeting blue.
A lot can be said with only a look and this look said a lot. Understanding,
regret, a promise for the future.
Wesley stepped back and walked out the room.
Angel turned to follow him when Wyndam-Pryce senior's voice stopped him.
"Angelus," Roger waited for Angel to turn around and look at him.
"Take care of him."
Angel looked at the man. A man who had played a big part in many of Wesley's
nightmares, a man who had formed who Wesley had become, a man who was maybe
going to die today, a man who apparently knew how important Wesley was to
Angel and vice versa. He nodded once.
Roger Wyndam-Pryce nodded back. And with that they both came to a silent
agreement. They both cared for the same man, for Wesley. Albeit both in a
different way. And Roger was assured that if something would go wrong, there
would be some one there for Wesley.
**********
Angel watched Wesley sit. He was chewing the nail of his thumb again, his
right leg was bouncing lightly. He had watched Wesley pace, watched Wesley
fiddle with his glasses, cleaning them, chewing on them, until Angel had taken
them away and put them in the pocket of his duster.
Angel had called Cordelia to tell her how it was going. She had been by giving
Wesley some comfort and distraction. She had gone back to the office to inform
Gunn and Lorne who were waiting there, not wanting to crowd Wes. She had asked
Angel to keep her informed every hour.
He watched Wesley jump for the sixth time when the doors of the hallway to the
surgery opened. Sighing he went over to where Wesley sat. He grabbed the hand
and pushed it onto the bouncing leg. "It'll be okay."
Wesley gave him a weak smile. He brought Angel's hand up to his mouth kissing
it softly. "Thank you for being here," He said with gratitude.
Angel shrugged, "Hey, comes with the territory."
"He looked so scared," Wesley suddenly said. "I've never seen
father like that, it's truly frightening." Wesley brought his hand up
again to chew on the nail only to find he was still holding on to Angel's
hand. Distracted he let them fall into his lap again. "I love him, I
never told him," he said quietly, his voice laced with guilt.
"You will," Angel said sure of himself.
"I never realized that it must have been hard on him, raising me when Mum
died," Wesley continued. "And there was his job and of course the
council and..." Wesley's voice trailed off as he remembered what the
council had been like. Old Fashioned, scared of change, unable to really
adjust to new time.
They both looked up when a doctor called out Wesley's name.
The man in green scrubs approached them with a serious look. Wesley suddenly
felt more afraid then he ever had in his entire life. He was close to
hyperventilating. The only thing that grounded him was Angel's reassuring hand
on his back.
"Everything went as well as can be expected," The doctor began,
"He's already come around a bit and recovering in the IC. If there are no
further complications he should be alright within two weeks,"
Wesley let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He still had a chance, they
still had a chance. "Can I...can I see him?" He asked in a shaky
voice.
The doctor nodded and pointed out where to find Roger Wyndam-Pryce's room.
Angel walked behind Wesley toward the room. Only one visitor was allowed so he
was going to wait in the hallway. He nodded encouragingly at Wesley and
watched as Wesley pushed open the door and walked slowly into the room.
Angel smiled. It was a sad and happy smile at the same time. He never had a
chance to talk with his Dad, he had taken away that chance himself, or rather
Angelus had. But Wesley and his father had a chance, a new chance. It had
taken some one almost dying for them to recognize this chance, but Angel was
sure that neither Wesley nor Roger Wyndam-Pryce would throw away this chance
given to them. It would take a lot of work on both sides, but Angel was sure
they would come to some kind of understanding. That one day both men would be
able to say just how much they loved each other. That Wesley would be able to
do what he, Angel, would never be able to do. To come to some sort of
understanding with his Father.
Angel looked up at the ceiling, blinking back his tears. "Love you dad,"
he whispered before his face turned stoic again and he leaned against the wall.
Waiting for Wes.
- end
2003 by FerretGirl
