Sometimes, I think I am crazy; like batshit crazy. Hell, maybe I am even mental institution crazy. That's always what my twin brother Jeremy says, anyway. How can I not be though, after what had happened to us? Where should I start? Oh yes…my parents died in a car accident on the Wickery Bridge. Yup, they drowned. My older sister, Elena, Jeremy and I were all in the car when it happened. Somehow we were able to survive when our protectors couldn't. Now we live in Mystic Falls; this little spot of a town located in the middle of nowhere. It was a far cry from California, where we used to live. My father owned a lake house, however, in Mystic Falls. We were going to stay up there for me and my brother's birthday; we were turning 16. Some sweet sixteen, right? It was this whole big thing; we even rented a small boat so we could all jet-ski. I didn't know how but I was so excited to be able to finally be old enough for my father to teach me. (He was pretty strict when it came to safety. Gotta love irony.) My parents even took off a week from work. Growing up, my siblings and I loved coming to Mystic Falls because it was so simple. Now that they are gone, it feels constricting…so quiet it's like everyone can read your thoughts. It's a small town, so everyone also knows everyone's business, which I hate.
Anyways, we are living with our Aunt Jenna now for the time being and expected to attend the local high school. Oh, joy. I always used to love school and I was good at it. Getting straight A's was sort of an ego boost for me. See, in my family, there was Elena the star and Jeremy the athlete for me to compete with. Elena was gorgeous; literally drop-dead beautiful. She was the girl that made guys flip their heads around and all the girls want to reconsider what they were going to eat for lunch. She was a cheerleader (such a cliché right?) with long, thick brown hair, chocolate eyes and a figure that could make a model look obese. That was my sister. She was 17, in her senior year of high school with dreams that used to extend as long as the Milky Way. Now, though, I wasn't sure where her dreams were. After the accident, we stopped talking about serious things. Or, at least, I did. Jeremy is my twin brother, although as different from me as can be. He's tall and muscular, a football player that the other teams envied. He was the apple of my dad's eye, even though his grades left a lot to be desired. Like Elena, he was good looking. He was never one of those people who lacked a date for a dance. Now, though, he is addicted to drugs and God knows what else. We used to get along really well, like peas and carrots, as Forrest Gump would say. Now we are close in the fact that we aren't close…if that makes any sense at all. Jeremy and I don't talk to each other much anymore, and that's exactly how we like it.
When horrible things happen to us, we don't see the need to sit and blab about it for hours. Hell, I can't even remember the last time I really cried in front of someone. Alone, yes…but in front of another person is sharing too much. I think my brother and I have perfected the act of shell making. Mine has hardly a dent in it. Unlike my siblings, I don't consider myself exceptionally pretty. Actually, I am pretty average looking, maybe lower. I have medium brown hair and a regular body; nothing too amazing. I was never coordinated enough to be an athlete like Elena and Jeremy. I never got the whole school spirit thing anyways. The only thing I could really do was write and sing. However, I had horrible stage fright and barely sung anymore. Unlike Elena, I wasn't Miss Bubbly and Popular even though I did have friends. This year, however, I knew making friends wasn't going to be in my near future. Honestly, I was sort of okay with that. I mean, we knew some people here, like Matt, Bonnie and Caroline; Elena's friends that we grew up with. We were born in Mystic Falls, after all. However, we moved to California when I was around 10. We used to live in the lake house we came to use as a vacation home. A little ironic, isn't it?
Nothing has really changed since we left; still as old-fashioned as ever. Jenna lived in a decent, two story house near the high school. However, now, I was sharing a room with Elena. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be but I missed being able to close the door to my room and be totally and completely alone. But she wasn't a bad roommate; I loved having her as a sister. I just wished she didn't have to…talk about things all the time. Some things were better left unsaid…like the fact that a part of me is so angry at our parents for leaving us. It was like I blamed them for drowning. Ridiculous, I know…hey, I didn't say I was normal. I knew no one, not even the sullen Jeremy, would understand the thoughts that darkened my head every day. Not even I fully understood, which to me, is a major sign. So my solution was to act like it never happened. It wasn't the easiest of tasks, especially when Elena put a giant picture of all of us on the dresser next to both of our beds. It was a constant reminder of how happy we used to be as a family.
I looked at myself in that picture, all smiles and glowing with a sense of pride. I couldn't believe that back then, I had no idea what would happen to us. I was so naïve that I thought my parents would be able to watch me graduate and go on to college. My dad used to say I was Harvard-bound. Now I wasn't so sure. I could feel my motivation slipping away like a giant balloon deflating. I had no idea how or if I would get it back. In the picture, all of that wasn't there. I was just a girl waiting for life to begin…now I am a girl waiting to take back what life had stolen from her. But I couldn't tell my happy, popular sister that. Nor could I tell her that every night since the accident; I have nightmares that I am drowning. I wake up in cold sweats, chest constricting and struggling to breathe. She sleeps right through it because I don't scream. I don't even let my emotions out in my dreams. Anyways, the night before we started high school, my whole body was practically shaking with nerves. I was lying in my bed while Elena put her long hair in a ponytail in front of the mirror.
"Are you nervous about tomorrow?" She asked, looking at me from my reflection.
"No," I said quickly.
She turned around with raised eyebrows.
"Alyssa, please." She said. "I can see your leg twitching from here."
"Okay, so maybe I am a little nervous! This town isn't exactly like California and I wasn't all that popular then either. What if I don't make any friends here? This town is so small that when I get labeled as a freak, then no one will ever forget it."
She came and sat on her bed, facing me.
"No one is going to call you a freak, okay? You aren't. Besides, you already know some people so you won't be totally alone. And I will be there and Jeremy."
"Yes but those are your friends." I pointed out.
"They are yours too. You're gonna make friends, Alyssa. Trust me. I know we've been through a lot but maybe being in a new place will help."
How? I thought.
"Maybe," I mumbled, chewing on my nail.
She smiled in that typical older sister way…like she was seeing right through me. It made me blush. She went back to the dresser and got a hair tie and brush.
"What are you doing?" I asked, tired.
"Turn around," she said, sitting next to me.
She started brushing hair and pulling it apart to make a French braid. I couldn't even remember the last time she did that. That familiar lump formed in the base of my throat.
"Your hair is so silky, Lyssa. You are beautiful. Maybe you could join a club to help you meet people." She said.
"What? Like cheerleading? That sure would be a sight." I scoffed.
She laughed. "No, but there are other things you could do. Join the choir…I miss hearing you sing."
"Do you think people know about the accident?" I asked as she tied the elastic keeping the braid in place.
"I'm sure they do." She said quietly.
"I bet they're gonna treat us like we have the plague. That, or poor little Gilbert's. Either way, it makes me want to vomit."
"Could you at least try to have a good attitude?" She asked, getting on her bed.
"I could," I remarked sarcastically. "But what would be the point?"
"Well," she said, pulling up the covers. "You may meet a guy…a great guy who will sweep you off your feet."
"Trying to get to you, you mean?" I asked, doing the same.
She sighed. "You are impossible."
My heart tingled with guilt. I never used to be such a downer or even rude. But I couldn't control it anymore; it was like I had some rare form of Bitch Tourette's.
"I'm sorry." I whispered.
"It's okay. You know, you can't fool me, Alyssa." She said, as she turned out the light.
The room went pitch black, the mirror image of my heart.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"You act so tough on the outside. You think that hiding your feelings will make them go away. But you're just scared…scared of more loss, scared of rejection. But you're a beautiful girl, Alyssa, and so smart. You'll get through this. I just wish you would let me in a little bit."
Those all-too-infuriatingly-familiar tears threatened to fill my eyes with their stinging taunts. My throat started to close, leaving me with that thick feeling. I cleared my throat, trying to keep it at bay.
"Goodnight, Elena." I croaked.
She was silent for a while before saying, "Goodnight, Alyssa."
And then I was alone in the dark, with only my thoughts to keep me company. Welcome to Mystic Falls, I thought. There was nothing left for me to do but wait for whatever catastrophe would await me when I closed my eyes. Elena's words spun in my brain.
You're just scared.
I knew I was. Her answer was that I would meet a guy. What guy would want a girl with so much baggage? Well, maybe if they looked like Elena. I wouldn't meet anyone who would be interested in me. That was a fact. But why did a part of me still hope. It was silly to hope now.
You're just scared.
This time, it was my own voice that said it. Growling at myself, I slammed my eyes shut, welcoming myself back into the world of nightmares.
Welcome to Mystic Falls.
