Sooooo... Hi. This is what happens when I get bored at 3 AM and can't sleep. I played a marathon of N64 Mario games today, and this thing popped into my head and refused to leave until I wrote it down. So, I present to you, Peach's Escape, a short one-shot.

Disclaimer: Mario belongs to Nintendo. Do I look extremely rich? I thought not.

I poked my head slightly around the corner. This was it. This was my chance to shine. I'd been waiting God knew how long for this moment, and it was finally here.

I tightened my grip on my newly acquired frying pan. I had taken it not long before from a pair of unsuspecting Koopa chefs. They hadn't realized that the oh-so-delicate princess their leader kidnapped had been studying various fighting skills.

I slipped around the corner, creeping ever closer to Bowser's 'confrontation room,' as I'd learned he called it. Normally I would be dangling in a cage in there right now, but not this time around. This time I was fighting back.

As I neared the room, I tried to avoid all of Bowser's minions. Every Goomba, Koopa, or whatever that got in my way was smacked upside the head with my trusted kitchen utensil. I was almost there, but one last minion, this one a Koopatrol, decided to stop me. I put on my innocent face and hid my frying pan in the folds of my skirt.

"P-Princess P-Peach," the creature spluttered. "W-What are you doing here?" I couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for him. He was all alone, whether he knew it or not.

I smiled sweetly. "I'm here to tell Bowser I've reconsidered his offer," I lied. "I'm willing to talk about possibly merging our kingdoms. I must speak with him immediately."

The Koopatrol's eyes widened. "Umm, that's great and all, Princess, but you can't go in there right now. King Bowser's busy entertaining a guest, and..." His voice trailed off.

"Oh, I'm sure he won't mind," I said, grinning now. "He'll be too excited to know I'm finally seeing eye to eye with him. Now, if you would please just unlock the door, that would be wonderful." I pecked him on the cheek just for good measure. If turtles could blush, this one would've.

"A-All right, Princess Peach," the Koopatrol said. "Five minutes." He swung open the door, and I slipped soundlessly inside.

I could hear them fighting, even from this far away. From a distance, watching from the shadows as I so often did, I could tell that Bowser had gotten rid of his platform-destruct button. At least the person threatening the kingdom was a bit less stupid than before.

I crept closer and closer, fingers curled around my frying pan, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. It came sooner than expected.

Bowser swung at Mario with an overgrown claw, and he went down. His fire flower was ripped from his hands, and I knew that in a moment he would be finished. I cleared my throat and moved from the shadows. Both Mario and Bowser whirled to see who had arrived.

"Princess Peach," Bowser growled. "What are you doing out of your tower?"

"I've come to tell you I have reconsidered your offer," I told him. "It might be a bit of an inconvenient time, but I knew it couldn't wait."

Bowser raised a bushy red eyebrow and held up a claw, telling me to wait for a moment. He turned back to Mario, pulled a few spines from his shell, and used them to pin him to the wall. I flinched when one nearly sliced open Mario's cheek, but Bowser didn't notice.

Mario looked me in the eyes while Bowser's back was still turned. I knew he was wondering why I would make a deal with this devil. I stared back, and tried to get one lone message across.

Trust me.

He nodded ever so slightly, and a smile tugged at the corner of my mouth. At that moment, Bowser turned back around to face me.

"So, Bowser," I chirped, faking a light, happy tone, "about merging our kingdoms. I've thought about it, and it really would be the best choice. I've taken the liberty of drawing up a document that, when signed by us with a witness present -" I tilted my head toward Mario,"- will officially unite our kingdoms. All you have to do is sign here..."

"Is that all?" Bowser asked, excited. He snatched the pen out of my hand and began scribbling out his name. Just as he wrote out the final flourish, I whipped out my frying pan and slammed it with all my might into his back. He howled, and went tumbling off the platform we stood on and into the lava far, far below. There was a faint hiss upon impact.

"Thank you, Princess," Mario said as I helped him down, gracing me with his rarely heard voice.

"You're quite welcome, Mario." I smiled, the first real one since I had been captured, and grabbed his hand. "Now, let's head back to the castle. We need to plan ahead for Bowser's next attack." He nodded, and together we followed the road back to my kingdom.

Hope you enjoyed that. I'm one of few, it seems, that has always loved Princess Peach...