You guys know by now that these are NOT meant to be taken seriously. Read my other two if you wish to know what I have to say about all these.
I do not own any of the characters.
--~~--
~The flasback in capturing Ganondorf~
Sage 1: Ganondorf Richard Brian Shrowserbert FrickanFrack Constable Much Mushroom Egg Albert Gregory Flippityflap Brian Edward Alfonse Envy Sparkleberry Zuko James House Chase Cameron Albelard Dragmire the 10th; you are charged with rape, kidnapping, animal cruelty, killing, being a Gerudo and...being an idiot.
Ganondorf: WTF?! That's not my name! And I never raped anyone! And you said Brian twice!
Sages: He knows too much! We must kill him!
The Head Sage stabs Ganondorf in the chest with a sword.
Ganondorf: ...Well? Aren't you gonna kill me?
Sages: O.O
Sage 1: You're not dead?!
Ganondorf: Uh, no.
Sage 2: I thought you said it would kill him!
Ganondorf: Silence! I sould me soul to Jashin! So now I'm IMMORTAL, BITCHES!!!
Ganondorf breaks from his shackles and kills the Head Sage.
Sage 3: Oh noes!! We must send him to the Twilight Realm!
They activate the mirror, and Ganondorf gets pulled into the void.
Ganondorf: Oh poopie! I haven't seen anything suck this much since I HEART HUCKABIES!!!!
--
~The beginning of the game, before the children are taken~
Link: Give Epona back!
Ilia: No!
Link: WHY NOT?!?!
Ilia: You're a meanie poo-poo head!
Link: ...
Epona: (Let me go! I wanna go with Link, damn it! I hate you!)
Ilia: WHAT?! Oh fine! DX
Link: Happies!
Epona: :D
Ilia: Oh Linky-poo, come home safely! Okay, Linky-Winky-Tinky-Binky?
Colin: o_O
Link: Ewww! Don't call me that!
Ilia: But Linky-poo!!! D:
King Bulbin and his cronies come stampeding in.
King Bulbin: Hi!
Colin: AAAAHH!!
Ilia: HIIIIII!! :D
Link: Get away, guys!
The Bulbins push Link away and grab Ilia and Colin, then go into the village and nab the rest of the kids.
Link: Hey! Why aren't you kidnapping the adults?!
King Bulbin: We're too lazy. Children are easier to capture.
Link: Okay. ...HEY! COME BACK HERE!!
Link chases after them, only to be faced with the black wall of Twilight.
Link: HOLY HYRULE!! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!!?
Twilight Messenger: Hey! A human!
The Twilight Messenger grabs Link and pulls him into the Twilight.
Link: AAAHHH!! MOMMYYYYYY!!! LEMME GOOO!!
TM: No!
The Triforce mark on Link's hand suddenly glows, and the Twilight Messenger releases him.
Link: Hey! My birthmark glows! Cool! :D
He then transforms into a wolf.
Link: (NAAGGHH!! I'M A MONSTER!!!!)
Midna: You're supposed to be unconscious!
Link: (OMG YOU'RE SO CUUUUUTE!!!! :D)
Midna: ...Um...(Blushes)
Link: (Wait! Aren't we supposed to meet in the dungeon?)
Midna: Oh for the love of crap!!! DX Ok, I'll meet you there! Pretend like we never met!
Link: (Okay! :D)
--
~Meeting Midna~
Link: (Crap! I'm a wolf and I'm stuck in a dungeon! DX)
Midna: Hello again!! :D ...Er, wait, I mean...I found you!
Link: (Hi! Can you get me out of here?)
Midna: Okay!
Midna frees him, reveals the hole to crawl out of and gets on his back once he's out.
Link: (What are you doing?? D: )
Midna: Sorry buddy, but the story says you have to be my slave.
Link: (Ooh, okay! :D Let's kiss on it! I like you!)
Midna: Not until you're human! ./////w/////.
Link: (D'oh!)
--
~Going to get the Master Sword~
Midna: Oooh...
Link: (Woooooww...)
Skull Kid: Hi!
Link: o_O
Midna: Who the hell are you?!
Skull Kid: Follow me in my super challenging game to where the Master Sword is, or I can just tell you where it is.
Link: (We'll take the second one!)
Midna: Second one, plz.
Skull Kid: First one? Okay! Let's go!
The Skull Kid runs away.
Midna: HEY! WE SAID THE SECOND ONE!! ARE YOU DEAF?!?!
Link: (Noooooo!!!)
115156156115419912110000 tries later...
Skull Kid: Bye-bye!
Link: (YOU SUCK!!)
Midna: Look! Statues!
The ground become a few platforms.
Statues: We are guardians of this land. Pass our test and you can go through. Or we'll just let you pass.
Midna: We'll take the first one!
Link: (MIDNA!!!!)
Midna: I know what I'm doing!
Statues: Okay.
The statues allow them to pass.
Midna: See?
Link: (Ohhhh, you're gooood.)
Midna: :P
They go through the entrance, up the stairs, where the Master Sword is.
Link: (Hey! This is just like in Ocarina of Time! Ah, the memories...)
Midna: ...Oh my God, it kind of is.
Link goes up to the Master Sword, it turns him back into a human.
Link: Happies! I'm a real boy!!
Midna: Now take the sword!
Link: I can do that? O.O
Midna: Yes.
Link: Yay!!! :D
Link takes the Master Sword, does a dramatic pose, and then sheathes it. Midna comes and holds up the dark stone.
Midna: With this, you can become a wolf whenever you want!
Link: Sweet! So now I can warp anytime!
Midna: Yes.
Link: And I can be a super cool wolf anytime!
Midna: Yes.
Link: And I-
Midna: SHUT UP AND (BLEEP) ME!!!!
Link: OKAY! :D
So they make sweet passionate love and then leave.
--
~Meeting Telma's Gang~
Shad: Hi!
Link: Haha! A nerd!
Midna: Link! Don't make fun of nerds! You'll end up working for one!
Link: D'oh!
Ashei: Hi.
Link: Hello!
Ashei: Now go away. I'm a rude bitch because my father didn't teach me common courtesy when I was training as a warrior.
Link: So meeeann...
The other guy: ...
Link: RUSL!!! :D
Rusl: How'd know it was me?!
Link: The guidebook.
Rusl: Dang.
Link: Where's the other guy?
Shad: Lake Hylia!
Link: Okay, byeeee!!
Midna: ...
--
~In the Temple of Time~
Link: WHOA! It's the exact same as in Ocarina of Time! See look look! That's where the altar would be, the doorway leading to the Master Sword room, the Triforce warp point over there, and if you take down those stairs and lower the doorway, then move those statues and stuff, it'd be just like the OoT one! :D
Midna: ...Do you even listen to yourself when you talk?
Link: I drift in an out.
--
~Meeting with Hero's Shade~
Hero's Shade: We meet again.
Link: Can I ask you something?
Hero's Shade: Yes you may.
Link: ...Are you my ancestor?
Hero's Shade: I beg your pardon?
Link: My ancestor! And is the Hero of Time, the old Link, my ancestor? Mainly you?
The Stalfos' warrior's eye shifts a bit.
Link: Well?
Hero's Shade: Ah, I shall just teach you the next Hidden Skill. The Mortal Draw!
Link: Oh come on!!! I wanna knnooooww!!
--
~Going to see Madame Fanadi~
Fanadi: WELCOME! I'll read your fortunes in regarding your love and career for ten rupees!
Link: Tell me for free! :D
Fanadi: No!
Link: Aww...fine. Read me for love. (Pays)
Fanadi: YAAAAY!! Okay, here we go! Lkndlngflenglkdnglneynjwglknqaadlwenfle....AAH!!!
Link: O.O
Fanadi: I see...I see! You're in love with....
Ilia bursts in.
Ilia: ME! HE'S IN LOVE WITH ME!!! LINKY-POO!
Link: Not you again!! Dx
Ilia: RIGHT?! IT'S ME!
Fanadi: Actually it's an imp girl named Midna.
Ilia: WHAT?!?!! D:
Link: :D Giggity!
Midna: HA! TAKE THAT, STUPID BITCH! Me one, you zero!
Ilia: BUT LINKY!!!
Link: Where's the nearest motel?
Fanadi: ACROSS FROM HERE!
Link: Let's go Midna!
Midna: I'll lead the way!
The two of them leave to the hotel where they proceed to make love all day and all night.
Ilia: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Fanadi: Go away, dumb bimbo!
Ilia: BUT WHO LOVES MEEEEE???!!!
Fanadi: I don't do idiots! Now leave!
Ilia: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
--
~Going on a random ride in Hyrule Field~
Midna: Why are we doing this again? (Is riding with Link on Epona)
Link: ....Because it's part of what the silly authoress is making us do?
Midna: Oh, right.
Link: Oh, wait here. I gotta take a leak.
He climbs off Epona, goes to a bush (there are bushes in Hyrule Field? o_O) and goes to leak.
Midna: I feel so alone.
Reborn: You want to go back to your people, and yet you want to stay here with him.
Midna: You got that right. I wish I could just-WHAT THE HELL!? A TALKING BABY IN A SUIT?!?! I thought Malo was the only one!!
Reborn: I'm in the mafia.
Midna: What's that?
Reborn: I should kill you for asking. But since I'm from a different series, I'll tell you. The mafia are made of various families, containing different kinds of hitmen, who usually are sent to assassinate someone who's of danger to society. People misinterpret us mafioso as horrible people, but in general we're not supposed to be villains. There are some families that are despicable, however. But in all, mafioso are not to be messed with, but we make sure to make the world a better place.
Midna: ...Wow, that's weird. And so why are you here?
Reborn: I was bored.
Link: Okay, let's go! Time to....Malo?
Reborn: Nope. My name is Reborn. (Holds out his card)
Link: ....HAHAHAHA!!! What kind of a name is Reborn?!!?! XD
Reborn kicks him in the face, despite being so much smaller.
Reborn: Silence! What kind of a name is Link?
Link: Good point...oooowww...
Tsuna appears out of nowhere.
Tsuna: Reborn! Stop running away!
Midna: Who are you?
Tsuna: I'm Tsunayoshi Sawada! Reborn is my home tutor, and he gets to weird places if you're not looking!
Link: Oh.
Reborn: Looks like my time here is up. Goodbye Link and Midna.
Midna: WAIT! How'd you know our names?!
Reborn: A mafioso always does his homework.
Link: What's that supposed to mean!?
Tsuna and Reborn go into a portal back to the Katekyo Hitman Reborn! Universe.
Midna: ...That was weird.
Link: Yep. Want to keep riding?
Midna: Sure.
--
~The end of the game when Midna is leaving~
Midna: Well, bye you guys. I have to go.
Zelda: Bye-bye.
Link: D:
Midna: Link...I......See you later.
Midna pushes her tear to the mirror, it cracks. Link and Zelda are all "Le gasp!" when this happens. But Midna fails to remember that she only has a limited time, so by the time she runs up the stairs to the portal, the mirror shatters and she falls to the ground. (I saw this in a drawing once XD)
Midna: Oooowww!!!
Link: :D Sooo...you want to say with me?
Midna: ...Okay.
Link: Giggity!
Zelda: o_O
So Link and Midna live happily together for all time! :D
