Memoirs of a WoW Character: That Blasted Death Knight
Everything was fine, you know. For months and months my life was absolutely perfect, brilliant in fact. I was one with my master, many hours of the day or night, whenever he fancied a good old scuffle I was more than happy to oblige, ready to take down the next stinking Alliance rat that came along. We were unbeatable, a reckless team with gold to our name, no matter how many times I died, no matter how many times I ran through that stinking graveyard of the afterlife, it was perfect, I soared through the levels, I even got several pets…
That was until that smug bastard came along.
No, I was absolutely perfect with my Master until he decided to come into my life and quite literally take over. I knew my Master was never the loyal type, his defections to other lesser, meaningless characters, were of no bother to me because I, yes I was his favourite. But then… the 'Death Knight' decided to clink, clank and clunk his wretched chainmail into our lives with that annoyingly deep baritone constantly jabbering 'I can't cast that yet'. Oh because he's so SPECIAL he doesn't use magic, he casts it, he doesn't grab people and give them a headbutt, he cheats and holds them in a death grip… and yes, whether that arse likes it or not, it is cheating.
I mean REALLY, what is the fascination with a character as sordidly fake as that? I frankly cannot see the attraction. But my Master… and so many other Masters out there quite literally became the bitches of the Death Knights. Oh… and I had so much hope for him…
He put me on Facebook, you know. Gave me my own page I was that great and important to him. But then the Death Knight came along and BANG, he was his USERNAME on MSN! I was never his username on MSN…
It doesn't help that whenever my Master goes offline, all I can hear is that bloody baritone clanking on about all he's done in the past few hours. Its not that I'm arsed, it's just my Master had ME spend SO much BLOODY time flying around to find that stupid two-headed dragon-thing and now… now he's forgotten me.
I didn't even have a chance to get to Level Eighty. That was all I wanted, really, then I could join the Level Eighty gang that ravaged towns and villages. I would finally have some prosperity back in my life.
But alas, I don't.
And it's all because of that blasted Death Knight.
