The pale moon hung high over the velvetly blackness of the night, beams
of soft light dancing along the gentle waves of the river. Thoughts grow
weary, my doe eyes falling to a close i drop, my knees finding the earth
beneath the lush emerald blades. So..it has come to this. This is how i
shall end. Whisps of long black silk tumble over my lightly clad
shoulders, shielding my white kimono from view. Lofting a sigh, i allow my
small frame to fall forth, nestling with the sea of grass. The rivers shore
held me tightly as i lay in deep contimplation of my past. Inu Yasha..why
has this happened? Why has it come to this? My hatred fuels me, my need
for revenge against you drives my every action. The only goal in this
simple existance is to end your life, and drag you to hell along side me.
It sickens me Inu Yasha, to think that i died alone that day 50 years
previous. I summoned all that i had..All that i could muster to take you
with me, yet you still managed to escape. I despise you Inu Yasha.
Finding the fingers of the night, that ghosted along the rear of my neck,
tickling the tiny hairs that dwelled there.. my face soured, images of that
filthy hanyou overwhelming me. I should have never trusted him, never fell
into his little trap. For i knew all to well that he had wanted the jewel,
and more then anything, wished to use it for evil..And to become a youkai.
My soiled heart twinged in agony, torn between an ill fated love, a
twisted, deep, all consuming hatred, and a self pity, that i fought
continuously against. How could i have been such a fool. Soft, pale
curves twisted amoung the waves of green, leaving my hand in a tightly
clenched fist. What had i done..? Had i overstepped my bounderies as a
human to ask for a simple life, like that of the other women in our
village? I had grown far to tired of battled everyday, the weight of
innocence was growing to heavy on my shoulders. So much had come to rest
on me, and there wasnt a moment that i could escape. I was cast away, and
my chance of a normal, happy life stolen from me. I did not wish for these
powers~, i did not ask to be a savoir. Alas, it was my duty, and i was
chosen to take this task..I had turned selfish. How could i let myself
slip so? It was the love that hadgrown...and soured my intentions for
good. Now, the powers of purity i possess can no longer aid mankind..They
bring forth little but hatred and anger..Pain and suffering.
A tear steaked my face, leaving my skin tight and dry, my vision blurred
and fuzzy as i slowly reopened my eyes, unleashing the light doe brown of
my gaze back opon the sky. The only object i could cleary make out was the
large pale blue disc that hung at a cresent. Oh Inu Yasha...i wish i could
erase my hatred..and my love. If i could only go back to those fifty years
ago..and Sweep you from my life. Love still dwindles amungst my hatred,
barely flickering within the intense flames of rage. I know now..That is
was not you that betrayed me Inu Yasha..but this senseless hatred refuses
to despell. I cannot erase my emotions, i cannot turn back the time and
save our souls. All i can do it dwell..Wallow in this hatred that eats me
alive. I shall take you with me this time inu yasha. I shall drag you to
hell by my side.
With a vision that refused to clear, i felt the wind as it picked up,
wofting my hair around in an elegant dance. My body was quite numb from
the cold of the eve, so it really mattered little. "Heh heh.."Unfurling to
lay in a slightly curved heap, my hand fell againts the blades. I owed Inu
Yasha and Naraku no hatred..But gratitude instead. Whilst i lived, barely
existing as a priestess, i could not feel. It was forbidden. I couldnt
love, i couldnt hate..and i couldnt let my guard down for one moment.
Now..heh..Now i could do as i wished. Curling into a twisted, mangled
smirk, my pale lips moved ever so slightly as i mouthed a silent thank you.
Freedom was mine now..The freedom to hate, the freedom to love and the
freedom to do as i wished. I couldnt be more thankful. Yes, my love
remains for you Inu Yasha..I cannot erase such a strong emotion, but i
cannot erase this hatred either..I shall make sure you pay..But first.
Naraku shall pay my beloved...for tearing such a gaping hole in my
affections with such bitter betrayel. For now..i shall rest. My heart
hangs heavy and my thoughts are once again spiralling towards bitter
revenge. For now my beloved..I shall hate you, and damn your soul.
