. . . a world without danger . . .

Don't worry, Konan. Deidara's probably just having tea with the faeries. And by tea, I mean letting them drink his blood or something. They're very persuasive. AU. Akatsukicentric.

prologue.

where is your boy tonight?

"This is ridiculous, Deidara. I'm going home."

This is how it always starts, you know. I'm just trying to survive day-to-day life and keep Itachi and Deidara away from each other's throats, and one of them decides to throw a mind-bomb at me. It's usually Deidara. Itachi doesn't have the personality for surprises. I have doubts about him having any sort of personality at all, actually, but that's a secret we can just keep between us two. I'm already short on friends; I don't need him getting all miffed at me.

At the moment, Deidara is crouched in front of me with a grin plastered all over his face and sunglasses perched on the bridge of his nose. Mind you, it's midnight, and I never liked that one old song. I'm standing behind him and doing my very best to look normal, because honest-to-god, if we get arrested because he looks like a rapist or a murderer, my parents just might kill me. And if Itachi's dad is the arresting officer, Itachi's going to know that we went on a stupid crusade again.

When we go on stupid crusades -- well, when Deidara comes up with stupid crusades and I tag along to make sure he doesn't kill himself -- Itachi takes away our homework-copying privileges. That's definitely not good for my grades, sanity, social life, or parental situation, and he knows it.

Deidara doesn't really give a flying fuck either way, but, well, that's Dei. There's nothing you can do to stop him from being an idiot. Hence, the babysitting I'm often forced into.

When I threaten to go home, though, he looks up at me and I'm certain there are puppy-dog blues shimmering behind those dark glasses. "Konan, c'mon. I told you, what I saw yesterday was wicked cool -- they had wings, Konan. Wings and sparkly skin and you've got to see it."

Yeah. Deidara's new kick is the existence of faeries. I think I liked him better when he was making explosives and getting blamed for minor acts of terrorism around the school. We've been hiding here, by the wall between the park and the street, for like a zillion hours -- alright, alright, like twenty minutes but it's cold -- and I'm really getting sick of the whole thing. Rolling my eyes, even though he'll never notice, I flop down onto the ground beside him and start pulling up weeds that're growing up from the sidewalk cracks. "If you were drunk, it doesn't count."

"Sure it does. But I wasn't." He says this like it's the most obvious thing ever, like I'm an idiot, and like he's not clinically insane for crouching behind a wall, staring at a park through tinted shades in hope of seeing a faerie. That reminds me of another point that I don't think I've beaten into his mind quite enough -- then again, it can take years to convince Deidara of something once he's got his own ideas.

"You still haven't told me why you're wearing sunglasses."

He sighs melodramatically, and I resist the urge to smack him. He really does think I'm an idiot for not believing him. Damn crazy blonde bastard. "You remember in like, fifth grade or something, when the teacher said I'd never have to go to detention for him again if I'd read an actual series of books?"

"Vaguely." No, actually, but this is just another thing to humor him on. The grass I'm pulling up can only go so far to entertain me, after all.

"Yeah, well, I chose Artemis Fowl, right?"

"That you did," I say. I know that I read Artemis Fowl in fifth grade, but I still have severe doubts about Deidara ever having gotten past the adventures of Dick, Jane, and their dog Spot.

He settles his chin on the brick wall, knees pressed against the pavement and sunglasses glinting slightly in the headlights of traffic -- please do not call in a pair of dark-clothed creeps on the corner of Fourth and Freemont, guys -- , and continues on in a perfectly conversational tone. "The faeries have mesmer. It's like -- it hypnotizes you. Artemis wears mirrored sunglasses so they can't do it to 'im."

I glance at his glasses, shifting so that our faces are on a more even plane. "And…are your glasses mirrored, Deidara? Because of the advice in a fantasy novel for ten-year-olds?"

"Nah. Couldn't find any that were mirrored. It's the suggestion of not being able to be mesmerized that'll save me, Konan. Keep up. You sure you don't want a pair?"

"No, I'm just counting on you to save me when the faeries hypnotize me, Deidara. Be my hero." I say dryly, leaning my head back so that I can stare up at the darkened sky more easily. I can't see any stars -- of course I can't see any stars. Too many city lights, and nowhere near enough time to shoot out every streetlight and smash every fuse box. That's a lot of work for just a few pinpoints of star, anyway. "I'm just staying because I'm worried about your well-being, you know."

"I know."

"And I think you're crazy, you know."

"I know. I don't think the talking is conducive to faerie-watching, Ko."

"And I don't believe in faeries, you know."

"I know. You made a bet about it. But, Ko, really, I don't think --"

"And there's no one else alive who's going to believe you either, you know."

"I know -- Ko! Konan! Shut up and --"

"And it's dumb that you're going to so much effort for this. We have school tomorrow, you know."

"Konan, shut the fuck up and look at the park," he hisses excitedly, tugging on my arm. "Look look look look look!"

I'm certain that he's finally gone off the deep end, so I heave a sigh almost as melodramatic as his and push myself up to look over the wall. "Dei, honey, there's nothing --"Oh holy fuck, there is something there. There are several somethings there, and they have shimmery wings and they almost look like people and some of them look breathtakingly familiar and they all just look heartbreakingly beautiful and oh my god.

Without saying a word, I reach into the pocket of my jeans and pull out a fifty. Deidara snaps it out of my fingers just as briskly as a bank robber, and gives me a grin that's almost feral. "Wanna get closer?"

"Yes. No. Let's just --"

I don't know what I'm about to suggest, but then I black out. When I wake up the next morning, my mom is asking me where Deidara is and why I was out so late last night. Apparently, I looked just like a zombie when I finally stumbled in around three.

All I know is that Itachi's father is investigating Deidara's disappearance, my blood and his are mixed up on that park wall, and there's a phone number scrawled onto my left arm in permanent ink.


I have excuses for having written this, I swear.

Anyone else read the modern faery tales by Holly Black? Yes? Now, pick Valiant or Ironside up and find a page Luis is on. Every time Luis is mentioned, picture Pein in his place. Yes. Also, am I the only one who got sick of Valiant and just skipped ahead to read the pages with Roiben on 'em? And Ethine just made me giggle. It's not kidnapping if you let them eat blueberry pie.

And yesss, the majority of Akatsuki is scheduled to show up in here, as are all my favorite good guys. As per the usual, the good guys are omg-evil and the Akatsuki are just pathetic.

(By the way, all the IMPORTANT notes are at the very bottom of the next chapter. :D)

-- conversation hearts. (BITCHPLZ, it's past Valentines and everyone is mentioning my name and it's SHIT.)