Author's Notes: Oh yep! Another one of the boy meets boy but boy looks like girl and so other boy thinks he's a girl kind of story. I never realized how tempting they can be to write. Heh.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the other characters, nor am I associated with the creator in anyway. If I did, there would be a character in the series named after me who could kick everybody's butt.
Warning: Boy love goin' on here! Don't like, don't read!
Chapter One
Sasuke fought off a blush as he desperately tried to ignore the sniggers coming from the nearby table. He cursed the gods for inventing beer and bets.
Because that was how he ended up in this whole predicament – lots of tempting booze and a horrible bet that Kiba had proposed. Which he lost, of course. Sasuke promised that he would never drink another drink ever again.
Which was why he was here, sitting in front of a bar, a glass of gin and tonic in his hands praying that he'd get drunk and make this whole thing disappear. He'd start his new resolution tomorrow.
His eyebrow ticked slightly as he heard another wolf-whistle coming from Kiba's table where the rest of the gang was having a good laugh at his expense. Kiba was so dead after this. Sasuke was already plotting revenge in his head.
"Give the lady a Dark and Stormy (1)," came Kiba's voice from over Sasuke's shoulder. Sasuke resisted the urge to punch Kiba – it wouldn't do well for him to get kicked out of the club by the bouncer. As it was, Sasuke turned to give the dog-lover a glare.
The bartender scooted down towards their end of the bar and laughed. Sasuke's eyes turned toward at the sound and met the bluest eyes he had ever seen. On reflex, he growled.
"Shit Kiba," the bartender said, "the lady doesn't need a Dark and Stormy – what she needs is a Quick Fuck (2)." Sasuke really wished the ground below him would open up and swallow him – that or swallow Kiba and the bartender who he had never met before in his life and was determined to hate. Sasuke didn't know whether to hate him more for the lady comment or the quick fuck comment. Instead, he glared at the blond. The bartender simply laughed.
"See what I mean Kiba, if you buy her a drink, the least you could do is lighten her mood up." Kiba, amused to no end, simply smirked.
"Maybe it's her glare that turns me on," the dog-lover replied. As soon as the bartender was out of the way, Sasuke swore he was going to rip the other man's balls out.
"Man, you are so weird. Wait till I tell Hinata that you're hitting on someone else while she's just a few metres away," the bartender teased.
"Go ahead, this chick is with us," Kiba replied, grinning.
"Oh really?" Kiba grinned even wider at the man behind the bar, as he raised a questioning eyebrow. The bartender turned to give a look at the girl in question. Hinata caught his gaze and with a shy twinkle in her eye, waved to him.
"Why do I get the feeling you guys are up to something?" he asked suspiciously.
"See this pretty lady here – " a growl came from said lady " – well, she lost a bet and is currently paying the penalty." Kiba was full-out grinning, and the bartender was pretty damned sure that he was having an inside joke. Sighing, he gave the dog-lover a weird look and turned to the poor victim of Kiba's private joke.
"Hey, cutie, I'll give you a Quick Fuck, on the house," he said, ignoring Kiba's laughter. "I'm sure it'll lighten your mood up and make you feel better."
Sasuke raised an eyebrow in slight panic. "Excuse me?" he squeaked out.
The bartender laughed at Sasuke's discomfort. "It's a drink. It's good, trust me. I came up with the idea myself."
Sasuke was going to come back to the bar tomorrow and then he would beat the shit out of bartender to Hell and back. After he beat the shit out of Kiba, of course. For the moment, both of them were damn lucky that he was in goddamn heels. He didn't know how women survived them. Sasuke swore they were Satan's invention.
The blond bartender spared a glance towards Kiba, "You owe me Kiba, twice now, one for before and one for playing into your joke," he said, laughing. Then he headed off towards the other end of the bar, and began mixing what Sasuke assumed was a 'Quick Fuck'.
"Don't worry Naruto," the brunette called after the bartender, "My debt to you will be paid soon." Then, turning away with his new drink, he headed back to his table where his friends and most importantly, the love of his life were waiting with chuckles.
"Here you go," Naruto said, placing a glass of something in front of a startled Sasuke. "One Quick Fuck on the house."
Sasuke glanced at the glass of mixed alcohol with a wary expression. Naruto laughed.
"Don't worry, I didn't put anything bad in it. Trust me. It's all good stuff in there," Naruto teased, a cheeky grin on his face. Raising his head, he glanced up at the bartender to give him a good look. Or as good as he could in the dark lighting of the club.
The bartender was tall. Looking up he was still faced with what was the other man's chest. Sasuke thought that if he stood next to the guy, he'd still feel dwarfed – heels and all. He wore a white collared shirt that was left half-tucked and dress pants with suspenders hanging down his waist. The top of his shirt was left unbutton and Sasuke could see what appeared to be a very tanned chest. The guy had broad shoulders that tightened the shirt he was wearing and Sasuke wondered why God couldn't have given him a body like that. Instead, the skies above had decided to literally grace him with a slightly more feminine look – which was one of the reasons he was in the whole getup in the first place. Sasuke vaguely realized he was staring at the other's chest – he was a guy for heaven's sake – he took a sip of the drink placed in front of him. He was startled by the fact that it was indeed good.
"Told you it was good," the bartender said, leaning down so that his face was closer down to Sasuke's. He propped himself on one arm and grinned at the raven-head, his eyes twinkling. Sasuke took the opportunity to take a look at the face. It was purely masculine, and Sasuke wanted to curse the gods in seven different ways. Why the hell were guys who had manly appearances while he was stuck with the feminine one constantly surrounding him? The man in front of him was a blond and Sasuke wondered vaguely if it was natural. His hair stood up in all different directions in a way that many girls would find damn irresistible. His skin was tanned, and he features were chiseled finely into his face. Right down to the whisker-like marks on his face that probably would've looked ridiculous on someone else. And his eyes… Sasuke was able to get a much closer look at them than before and he was right. They were the bluest eyes he had ever seen. Sasuke had to give it to him – the guy was attractive. And Sasuke was straight. He didn't normally find guys attractive. Then again, he didn't find girls attractive either.
Before he could get caught staring at the blond, he shifted his gaze slightly and muttered a "Yeah, thanks." The other guy just stood there, unmoving and Sasuke was starting to worry that the guy would tell if he wasn't really a girl – just a feminine looking guy dressed up as a girl. And he wasn't enjoying it.
"Naruto," the man said, finally standing straight and went to take a rag to wipe the counters.
"Sorry?"
"Naruto. My name's Naruto Uzumaki. I used to go to high school with Kiba. That's how I know the guy. So, do you have a name cutie, or do I have to ask Kiba for it?" the blond ask, grinning a canine smile not unlike Kiba's. Sasuke found it a bit unnerving.
"Sasu –" Sasuke thought for a quick minute " – ki," he finally replied. The last thing he wanted was the name Uchiha Sasuke connected to a girl in a miniskirt, heels and makeup. He would absolutely die of horror.
"Sasuki, huh," Naruto smiled, pausing his motions, "Cute name. You're Japanese, right?"
Sasuke nodded.
"Well, Sasuki-chan., how'd a girl like you get mixed up with Kiba?" Sasuki-chan?! Sasuke wanted to cry out in indignation. Naruto grinned, guessing that the chan irritated the raven-head in front of him.
"Go to college with him," he gritted out.
"Really? You'd think he'd mention a cute girl like you. Well, then again he was always head over heels for Hinata, but he still would've. I mean, the times I've been able to chat with him all he'd say about his roommate. A broody bastard, named Sasuke or something. You wouldn't happen know him would you? I heard he was Japanese too." Naruto peered closer at Sasuke. Sasuke resisted the urge to shrivel back. "Hey, are you his sister or something? Cause you guys have like similar names and you guys are both Japanese…"
"No. I don't know him," Sasuke said vehemently. Naruto looked a bit disappointed for a moment.
"Oh. Well, that's all right. So what did he do to get you so pissed off tonight? I swear, if looks could kill, you'd just about killed everyone in the whole bar. Jiraiya would be pissed."
"Nothing – just lost a bet. I have to dress like a damn slut and wait till some guy hits on me before I can go home."
"Hey, that ain't so bad. I remember some other stuff that Kiba pulled on me. Getting hit on isn't the worse by far."
Sasuke glared. "Do you think I want to get hit on?"
"Oh well. Then that might be a bit of a problem. But it's just being hit on. You know, sticks and stones will break my bones…" Sasuke's glare didn't lighten up. Naruto sighed, and then he grinned. "Tell you what, I'll tell you a secret. You know Hinata?"
Sasuke nodded.
"Well, Kiba tells everyone that he managed to hook up with her all on his own. Truth is he didn't. I helped him with it; otherwise Hinata's cousin would've never let her go out with him. I mean, Kiba's a nice person deep down inside, but he's not exactly Hyuuga material, according to their standards. But Hinata's a nice girl, and she'll be fine with Kiba. Kiba wouldn't let anyone hurt a single hair on her head. He's had a crush on her since the second year of high school – love at first sight kind of thing. And it took him over four years before he could get the girl, and that's with help."
"So what, are you saying you're like cupid?" Sasuke asked.
Naruto laughed. "No way. I'm just saying that Kiba hates it that he didn't have the guts to get Hinata on his own. I wouldn't blame him though, Hinata's cousin Neji can be pretty scary sometimes, but I've known him for a long time so Neji actually listens to me. I'm just saying, next time he puts you in a hard spot, you can rub that fact in on him."
Sasuke raised a brow. "So you're actually giving me something to blackmail your friend with?"
"Nope," Naruto said, grinning, "I'm giving you something to protect yourself with next time he tries to pull anything on you." With that, he walked over to the other side of the bar to where a customer was waiting for one of his famous drinks, leaving Sasuke to brood by himself.
Sasuke glanced at the glass in his hand. A Quick Fuck, huh? He downed the glass, feeling the alcohol burn in his throat. Damn, Sasuke loved his liquor. It was a pity he'd have to give it up the next day.
Business was slowing down as it neared closing time. Naruto found himself wiping the spills of alcohol left by drunks as they slowly stumbled out the doorway. The people sitting at the bar had all left, except for one. Sasuki was still where she had been sitting the whole night and Kiba and his gang had left to take care of one of their friends who had decided to puke all over the place. As he helped a stumbling friend out the door, Hinata walking shyly behind, Kiba asked Naruto to keep an eye on 'Sasuki' for him. Naruto had absentmindedly nodded and was then distracted by another customer.
Glancing at the clock behind the counter, Naruto noticed it was ten to closing time and the last of the customers sitting at a table seat were slowly making their way to the exit, hand in hand. Which left Sasuki here with Naruto. The blond wondered if Kiba had wanted to give the lady a ride. Frowning, he walked over to the girl, who was still sitting at the corner seat, brooding over her drink. Naruto vaguely tried to count how many drinks the girl had that night. His mouth formed a surprise 'o' as he counted up to the tens. The lady sure could drink! Naruto grinned. He respected those who could hold their liquor. At least, Naruto was sure that Sasuki wasn't drunk – she certainly didn't look like it! But then why was she sitting there not moving? An idea struck him – she couldn't be waiting for him, could she? That would be bad, so bad, if she did. Naruto hated turning down girls. It wasn't that they weren't pretty, or didn't have nice personalities. He liked girls very much – just not in that way. At least he hadn't liked girls liked that since his last girlfriend in high school. He supposed it was because he hadn't found the right girl for him yet, that was all.
"Sasuki?" he called to her. No answer.
"Sasuki-chan?" again there was no answer. Naruto blinked. She was ignoring him! Slightly worried, he walked closer and too the empty glass in from her hands and waved a hand in front of her face.
"Damn it, give me back my drink," she snarled, slurring slightly. Ok, definitely drunk, Naruto thought.
"It's empty, cutie." The snarl left Sasuki's face to be replaced by confusion.
"Oh," and then, "Give me another one. Another – " Sasuki tried to remember what she was trying to say, " - another one."
"Sorry sweetie, but you're slurring all your words. You are definitely drunk. And you're gonna have a big ass hangover later."
"I don't care, give me another one," Sasuke slurred surly.
"No can do," Naruto said, grinning. The lady was quite adorable when she was drunk and surly. "Besides, it's closing time."
"I hate you," Sasuki said. Naruto raised a brow.
"Just cause I don't give you another drink? Sweetie, you should be thanking me."
"Yes. I hate people who keep me from my alcohol. Damn it."
Naruto stared at her incredulously. "You're an alcoholic!" he cried accusingly. He would've never guessed it.
"No I'm not," Sasuke protested, and then hiccupped. "I just like the taste."
"Uhuh, that's what they all say. Come on; let's get you home. "
"Can't. Don't have a car. Kiba knows I – I get drunk afthur – after I start drinking. He take - took - my keys."
"It's a good thing too," Naruto muttered, "You'd crash yourself into the first tree."
"I wouldn't. Trees are endangered and should be protected."
Naruto sighed. "Yeah, well, then you'd crash into the next poor unfortunate person that you see. I'll give you a ride home."
"Can't go home either. My house keys are with my car keys," he said, still slurring. Naruto was surprised that with all the alcohol the lady had consumed that she could still hold a rational conversation. Naruto was impressed. When Naruto got drunk, he'd spouted all sorts of random things and did all sorts of wild things.
"Um alright. Well, you really can't stay here, so I guess I can take you to my place for the night," the bartender offered. Kiba so owed him. "Come on, gorgeous, move your butt. I want to go home and sleep before my day job starts." He walked out from behind the counter and went over to the girl, and tugged gently on her arm. He was a bit surprised that it was muscled instead of soft like its deceiving appearance. He shrugged; he guessed she must work out a lot. Then he led her out the door, making sure that all the lights were turned off and then locked the bar up.
"I am not sleeping on the floor or the couch," Sasuki muttered under her breath, stumbling slightly on a crack on the sidewalk.
"Don't worry, I wasn't planning to let you have anything but the bed. I end up falling asleep on the couch most nights anyway."
"And don't touch my boobs."
"Wouldn't dream of it," Naruto said seriously. He vaguely remembered a time in high school where bringing a girl back home would be exciting, just thinking about the stuff they could do. Now, the idea of doing such things hadn't even crossed his mind. Naruto had matured over the years as he grew.
"If you do, I'll kick your ass to hell."
"Of course you will," the blond replied absentmindedly, as he opened the door to his red, second-hand Lexus and carefully sat her in the passenger seat. He then belted on her seatbelt, trying not to touch anything that he shouldn't.
"My place isn't far. About a ten minute drive," Naruto said as he got into the car.
"Ugh. Good. I feel a little bit sick." Naruto's eyes widened and he began panicking. He stepped on the gas pedal; thankful it was late enough that there were hardly any cars on the streets.
"Just hold on cutie. If you have to puke, the please, please, don't puke in my car! Wait till we get to my place… I saved forever to buy this car, and I don't have the money to get it cleaned!" And with a muttered curse, Naruto drove off quickly into the night, as if the devil himself was chasing after them. Kiba definitely owed him triple now!
Author's Notes: I know I shouldn't start yet another story that will take me forever to finish when I've got so many that are nowhere near completion. Originally, I had wanted this one to be a one shot, but as you can see, that wasn't the way it turned out.
Anyway, I just had to get it out of my system and there you go.
I've never had an alcoholic drink before in my whole life so far, so when it comes to drinks, I basically I have no clue what I'm talking about and most of it is just research. The drinks mentioned here are actually drinks I found over the Internet. Here are the recipes if anyone's interested.
(1) Dark and Stormy:
1 part(s) Black Rum
2 part(s) Ginger Beer
In a tall glass over ice pour the ginger beer, add the Black rum and watch the storm swirl before your eyes.
(2) Quick Fuck:
1 part(s) Kahlua
1 part(s) Midori Melon Liqueur
1 part(s) Bailey's Irish Cream
In a shot glass pour equal quantities of each three over a spoon to make layers. Kahula first followed by Midori and then the Bailey 's.
