Okay, I'm doin' it! I'm gonna follow the trend and make my own Autobot rulebook! I've seen so many of these things that I finally decided to try it. So let's see how this goes. There will be seven rules on each page, and the girls will all take turns.
Now, without further ado, let my girls... enlighten you on what to do and what not to do when you live with giant alien robots.
I do not own Transformers or anything in relation, and it seriously pains me that I don't. I do own my OCs, SO DON'T STEAL THEM OR I WILL COME AFTER YOU AND MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING PIT! Enjoy. :D
Ch. 1
Hunter—1. Don't pull Tom-&-Jerry-like stunts.
(You think it'd be common knowledge, but apparently it's not.)
(Miko wanted to see if an anvil would actually flatten someone's foot like a pancake.)
(She wanted to use Fowler as a test subject.)
(Won't lie, I was seriously tempted to let her carry it out...)
(But I'm the daughter of a Prime, so I need to be responsible even when others around me are not.)
(Besides X-Men: Of Future Days Past is at the theater this weekend and I won't miss it!)
(So I stopped her.)
(That didn't end her reign of terror for long though.)
(Instead of testing the anvil stunt, Miko decided to see if slamming someone's fingers in a piano would actually flatten them and make them crooked.)
(I don't know how she got Fowler's hands on the piano...)
(But that's not important.)
(Right now we're currently stuck with an unconscious government agent because he ran into the refrigerator door that Miko yanked open as he was chasing her for the piano thing.)
(Goodbye, X-Men—hello, cleaning duty.)
(We meet again.)
Artemis—2. Don't show off with your superpowers.
(At least not when you're on school property.)
(In my defense, I'm still learning my own strength.)
(I never meant to hit the tackling dummy that hard.)
(But when Bryce invited me down to watch his football practice and introduced me to the guys, I got sick of the looks.)
(I don't appreciate being looked at like a piece of aft.)
(So when I asked if I could tackle the dummy and they said 'yes' I was gonna show them that I'm so not a girl you should mess with.)
(I think... I may have let my emotions take control...)
(Instead of ending up across the field like I intended, the dummy ended up across the street and in the school gym.)
(Going through the cafeteria, the weight room, and a locker room to get there.)
(N.E.S.T. now has to pay for the damages.)
(And guess you has to give the report of why we need $200,000?)
(I swear, Galloway makes one comment—just one—we'll be paying for his plastic surgery!)
Bay—3. Do take into consideration the aspect of motion sickness.
(Who'd have thought that Bumblebee could get motion sick?)
(Granted, spinnin' around in a circle at nearly quadruple digit miles per hour would make anyone sick.)
(But this is Bumblebee we're talkin' about!)
(Mr. Fastest-Thing-on-Four-Wheels!)
(It all started when 'Bee, Sari, and I got the idea to attach 'Bee's confiscated rocket-boosters to the mechanical arms on the assembly line to make our own thrill ride.)
(First step was to sneak the boosters our of Ratchet's lab and then weld them to one of the arms.)
(Sneakin' the boosters out of the lab was a thrill ride in itself, but soon our project was complete.)
('Bee was our first volunteer to test it out.)
(It was great until 'Bee called for us to stop it... and it wouldn't stop.)
(The more we tried to stop it, the faster it went.)
(I had no idea Cybertronians were capable of projectile purgin'.)
(All I can say is this.)
(I may have powers over water, but there is no way I'm cleanin' that up!)
Hunter—4. Don't get experiment ideas from Seinfeld.
(One would think that after the Tom & Jerry style fiasco that Miko would learn.)
(At least that's what we all assumed.)
(But you know what happens when you assume.)
(My first mistake was even allowing Miko to watch the Seinfeld episode with me.)
(My second mistake was not being alerted when she began wondering aloud if a giant ball of oil really would burst on impact from several stories up.)
(Before I knew it, Miko was standing atop Bulkhead's helm with a giant exercise ball of oil and was pushing it off.)
(The result probably wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't for the fact that Fowler and the boys were passing close by at the time.)
(SPLAT!—say hello to Mr. Petroleum and the Oil Slicks.)
(Several thousand lectures and apologies later, Seinfeld is banned from base and Bulk, Miko, and I are all in trouble.)
(Why am I grounded? I didn't do anything!)
(Anyway, I don't know who has the worse punishment.)
(Bulk and Miko are cleaning up the main room, and those stains won't wash out easily.)
(But I have to wash the guys' clothes.)
(I really didn't need to know that Fowler actually has a pair of star-spangled boxer shorts.)
(Scarred. For. Life.)
Artemis—5. Do keep eyes on the Chevy Twins at all times.
(Especially if you're the new kid on the block.)
(I probably should've sensed trouble when Skids and Mudflaps started being unbelievably nice to me, even after 'Bee warned me about them.)
(And I should've known something was up when they volunteered to take over wash room cleaning duty for me.)
(I mean, come on, they never clean!)
(You should see their berthroom! *shudders*)
(So after training one day, I go to take a shower and the next thing I know MY BODY ARMOR IS PINK!)
(PINK!)
(Sunny and Sides say this stuff won't come off for about six weeks and they are experts in the field of paint jobs.)
(The Chevies are gonna find out that you never frag with me!)
(Now, where's that belt-sander and paint thinner?)
Bay—6. Always take into account powers when making a bet.
(Nanosec was out and at it again.)
(Robbed every bank in downtown Detroit and gave the poor 'bots a run for their money [no pun intended].)
(Still, bein' me, I couldn't resist bustin' their bumpers a bit, seein' as how they're big, strong alien robots and Nanosec is a small lame-brain of a human.)
(Most of the guys took my jibs like the mechs they are, but 'Bee can never take a joke.)
(So he proposed a deal.)
(I catch Nanosec and the whole team has to do what I say for the rest of the day.)
(I wasn't about to let this chance slip away so we spit-shook on it.)
(I don't think they actually expected me to catch him.)
(But one hour later, I'd apprehended Nanosec.)
(Two words: ice block.)
(A thawing Nanosec is now back in police custody, Detroit is safe once again, and I am enjoyin' a nice meal bein' served to me by the guys.)
(Ratchet's the cook [see: order-in]; Bee's the busboy; Bulk's serenadin' me with my favorite music [see: pre-recorded]; Prowl's my waiter; and Prime is the maitre d'—all holoforms in their respective costumes.)
(After I eat, we're gonna spend the rest of the day watchin' all the movies that I like and the 'bots hate.)
(Judgin' from the death glares, trainin' is not gonna be nice on Bumblebee tomorrow.)
(I don't think I'm safe either...)
Hunter—7. Never allow the 'Bots to watch Days of Our Lives.
(Apparently Jack's mom watches it and Arcee got curious about it, so she decided to check it out.)
(Now she's hooked.)
(Who could've seen that coming?)
(The guys wanted to know what all the hullabaloo was about, so she got them in on it too and now they're all watching it.)
(But hogging the TV for an hour every afternoon isn't the worst of it.)
(The team couldn't help but realize a certain resemblance between me and that Stephano guy.)
(He's the Phoenix—I'm the Fuser; we both die and keep coming back to life.)
(Now the team won't stop calling me 'Stephano'!)
(Thanks, June!)
Good? Bad? Yes? No? Funny? Voldshtein? Any ideas for what other rules to do? If you have some, leave a comment, and, unless you think the idea would be absolutely perfect for a certain girl, don't leave an OC name beside it. I'll decide what rule goes to whom. Yes, I'm a control freak like that. :)
