NOTHING MAKES SENSE ANYMORE.

And yes. I am writing for Invader Zim again, after months and months avoiding it. This thing really cured writers block, I guess. I forced myself to not skip a bunch, so some just don't make any sense whatsoever because I had no ideas. Whatsoever. So. Enjoy. I did 1-63, then 84-100. The ones I wrote inbetween either suck, or I skipped. I'm out of ideas now.

Warnings: Various pairings (ones I support and don't), small bits of language, and rare OOCness.

Reviews save a homeless puppy.


1. Planet Irk

Zim enjoyed Irk. Zim actually loved Irk. He loved the beauty of it, he loved the way the... ah... air smelled in the morning. But he had destroyed it. Why? It wasn't because he was on a 'rampage' as the other Irken's liked to say. It wasn't because he was crazy. It wasn't because he was power hungry. It was because he wasn't welcome there.

2. Smile

Gaz was flipping through the channels one day when she noticed a show called 'The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy'. Although she wanted to see the show about how animals ate their sick young, she decided to watch it anyway. It was an episode about how Mandy, a scary girl in a pink dress with huge eyebrows, entered a beauty pageant. She had smiled, and the world had, technically, come to an end. Which was funny. Dib was, of course, very surprised when Gaz entered a beauty pageant the next week, but wished her the best of luck. He was even more surprised when she had smiled at the end. She had won, but spent the rest of the month grumbling and cursing. When asked why, she only griped about how 'it didn't work'.

3. Invader

Tak, after returning to Earth, decided that she would try her luck again at becoming an invader. But, after a couple months of living with Zim, she realized that that didn't really matter anymore. She had him after all, didn't she?

4. Humans

Gir never could see why Zim hated humans. He thought that they were wonderful. After all, they had come up with the ingenious idea of Bisquick Pancake Batter, and they were the source of Bacon! The best part was how they all smelled like a mixture of meat and socks.

5. Pork Chops

Dib never understood why Gaz hated pork chops. After all, she loved pigs, so why didn't she like pork chops? After years of questioning, he had been surprised to learn that the only reason she didn't like them is because they reminded her of his head.

6. Bloaty's Pizza Hog

At her fourteenth birthday, Gaz was given the choice of where to eat. Her father asked her why she always wanted to eat there, and she replied that she had good memories of it. Dib later asked her why, and she had grinned evilly and walked away snickering about gophers and a racoon. Dib never asked her about it again.

7. Life

Ms. Bitters spent most of her time raging about life. She told her students how evil life was and how they would amount to nothing. No one ever wondered why, but she had a very good reason.

8. Planet Earth

For his fifth grade music class on Earth Day, Zim was told to write a song about how wonderful Earth was. He struggled with it for hours that night, because he truly hated Earth, until Gir gave him a suggestion. The next day, after everyone's songs, he stood up and sang his- it lasted an hour. He got an A+ for it. Everyone wondered why, because it only had three words. He had simply repeated 'Earth is Earthly' over and over again in a singsongy voice.

9. Happiness

At first glance, it seemed that Tak was not a happy person. She acted like she hated everything, and was sometimes even worse than Gaz. She only wore black and dark purple, and when she was forced to wear makeup because it was 'humanly', she had chosen black lipstick and black eyeshadow. Of course, the day Zita and Jessica followed her to the place she went to be alone for three hours a week, they were surprised to see that it was a field of flowers. They were even more surprised to see her skip around singing to the animals about how wonderful life was. They never followed her again, nor told anyone about it. Why? Because really, some things were just too creepy to spread around.

10 Invader Skoodge

Red and Purple didn't like him because he was short. And fat. The only person they disliked more than him was Zim. Of course, Zim got a special planet, which proved that Skoodge was last. In his mind, at least. So, he tried his hardest to gain a planet first, which he did. He felt so honored to start a new tradition too- to be shot out of a cannon toward his planet. Skoodge had never been happier.

11. Music

Zim and Dib only shared one thing with each other- their hate of music. They would get together sometimes at a smoothie place and set rivalry aside, bitching about how stupid music was. Zim hated it because he couldn't understand it ("Why do the hyu-mans sing about how sad they are? Everybody should already know that they are pathetic worms! Why bother singing about it?") while Dib hated it because of how much it lied ("Taylor Swift is such a lier- Juliet's dad never let her marry Romeo!"). Sometimes, Gaz and Tak would tag along because they both had such stupid reasons, and sometimes a fist fight would break out about who's reason was better.

12. Prof. Membrane

Dib never believed that he was a clone until the day he woke up with goggles and a lab coat attached to his skin. It was freaky, and all Gaz said was "Told ya so."

13. The Future

After third grade, Keef got into a severe obsession with the future. He would talk to Zim and Dib about the formula's until they hid in the bathroom to escape him, and then talk to Tak about it until she knocked his two front teeth out. By eleventh grade, he told the class that he had perfected the Space-time Continuum. No one believed him until he disappeared one day and never came back. Tak, Zim, and Dib were relieved at this and all decided he had just ran away until thirty years later, when they were playing cards and a familiar green eyed, red haired teenager appeared in the center of the table.

14. Donuts

Gaz quickly learned to hate the days her father would leave them donuts. She tried throwing them out as soon as she saw them, but there was always the same result; a small silver robot would appear on her head and try to steal them, and mess up the house while he was at it. Zim, meanwhile, loved these days.

15. Doom

Tak eventually ended up throwing Mimi out. Even though Gir wasn't in control of her all the time, he obviously left a bad impression on her. She spent most of her time screaming Doom, and causing it as well.

16. Mercy

Dib slowly peeked over Dirge's shoulder to see what she was writing. He noticed that it was something called 'Invader Gigi's Prompts'. Even though Dirge's mom soon yelled at her to 'get her ass in bed', Dirge ignored all warning and kept at it for two hours. Writing was harder than it looked. Of course, when Nate came to pick her up to go to the mall the next day, he found her asleep at her computer murmuring something about mercy. Dib informed him that in the last hour, she had screamed it at the computer almost sobbing. They both decided that OCD was not a great thing to have.

17. Loneliness

At about ninth grade, Dib suddenly lost interest in the paranormal, because it was obvious no one was ever going to believe him. Tak gave up and went to conquer another planet. Keef got a boyfriend. Gir spent more and more time with his pig. Until then, Zim had never realized that it was possible to feel lonely. He hated that empty feeling he got when no one was chasing him.

18. Fan Fiction

It was the day that Zim discovered the internet. He was over at Dib's house one day (ZaDF) and browsing something called ''. "Hey, Dib-stink!" he called up the stairs, "Zim found a fanfiction starring you and Zim!" Zim then clicked on the link, vaguely wondering what ZaDR was. Several moments later, Dib was startled by the loud shriek that sounded from the computer room.

19. Water

Something Gaz loved doing was taking a bath. A nice, warm, and relatively wet bath calmed down the muscles soooo much; something she needed after hours of gaming. Of course, it was a shame that her boyfriend couldn't take one with her. She had once plunked him into the tub, and was met by the smell of burning flesh and a scream. While she bandaged him up later, she offered that his scream had 'turned her on'. Zim just sulked.

20. Bliss

Every moment Gretchen spent with Dib was a moment of pure bliss- she never wanted it to end. Of course, he never really noticed her. Even though she didn't have braces or anything hideous on her anymore, Dib still didn't notice her. She was starting to wonder if the boy was secretly gay.

21. Iggins!

Tak was pretty surprised to see Iggins and Gaz become friends and, later, gaming buddies. Of course, she would be lying if she said she was surprised when Gaz shoved a controller down his throat and threw him out the window when he finally beat her.

22. Lost

"How did we get here?" Dib found himself asking Zim as they wandered through the forest, hopelessly lost. "Zim is rather sure that we walked," was the reply.

23. Magic

Gaz never told Dib that the huge pig adventure had given her powers- like being able to make somebody else taste pig for as long as she wanted them too. She saved it up for ten years, waiting patiently until she was able to use it. The time finally came when Dib stepped on her Game Slave. And now, twenty three years later, she finally forgave him and gave him back his taste.

24. Parenthood

Tak found herself hating every minute of it. Zim was a terrible father.

25. Time

On the last day of school, Dib followed every tick of the clock until the bell rang. He was ready for everybody to start screaming and jump out the windows, and possibly burn down the school. What he wasn't ready for were those freaky kids, Troy, Chad and some other kids, to start singing about 'What time is it, Summer time'. They were crazier than he was, everybody agreed.

26. Child-[Insert Suffix Here]

Zim wondered what childing was. He made the mistake of asking Torque, who burst out laughing.

27. Poop Soda

Everybody was surprised to find out that, yes, the only ingredients were sawdust, water, and real poop. But that didn't make it any less popular.

28. Height

Dib found himself vaguely wondering why the Tallest said that Zim was the shortest Irken, when Tak was the same height. When he asked Zim about it, he lost one of his front teeth. When he asked Tak, he lost the other one.

29. Space

Tak spent most of her time being lost in space drawing. When she found her way back to Earth, she had become quite talented. Everyone soon realized that the main character of her comic, Miz, looked almost exactly like Zim.

30. Frustration

No one wanted to be around Red when he was frustrated. His fits would last for several hours, in which the entire crew would hide somewhere while he trashed the ship. Purple would try his hardest to calm him down, and usually got a bruise from it. Then, Red would eat some snacks and be okay. Still... No one wanted to be around him during this time.

31. Muffin

Gir decided to make up a holiday. He called it Muffin Day, and it was every Monday, but happened on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays as well. Muffin Day was a day in which Gir would bake/eat/play with muffins all day. Zim didn't really notice until he realized that all he was $23,948 in debt. Because of muffins.

32. Moosey Fate

Dib told Gaz about how he had freaked out about the moose. Gaz scoffed and asked him what was so scary about a moose eating walnuts. He had gotten the video and showed it to his purple haired sister. She had a phobia of mooses from then on.

33. Question Sleep

Dib wasn't so sure about getting the job at the 24/7. He had heard... scary stories about this. When he mentioned it to Gaz, she shrugged and said to just never, ever turn off the Brainfreezy machine. He didn't, and one night a thin man that looked like he never slept came in. He was really happy that the Brainfreezy Machine was not turned off. After handing Dib red stained money, he left. The next day, Dib was fired for not turning off the Brainfreezy machine.

34. Laughter

Gaz never laughed. Ever. But once she got past the annoying part of Gir, she realized this little dude was possibly the only guy who could make her crack a smile, let alone laugh. His pranks were hilarious! Well, not to the people who he played them on, but to them, they could laugh all night.

35. Friendship

It was a slightly warm fall day in tenth grade. Zim and Dib walked up to each other, standing exactly two feet apart. Dib held out his hand, Zim took it, and they shook. Then they turned around and walked away from each other, each in the direction of their houses. It was a truce of sorts; for years, nobody knew how it was set up.

36. Hatred

Tak soon found that she could not stand to be in the same room with Gaz for more than three minutes. Heck, they were lucky if she could stand three seconds. It was the aura that Gaz gave off. It was sickening. Dib and Zim, wanting them to be friends, forced them to play GS2 together while they went out. When they came back, it was strangely quiet. Dib was about to call out when Tak peered over the back of the couch, hissing for them to be quiet, lest 'she' heard them. Just then, Gaz leapt out of the air vent screaming like a banshee, and Tak scratched at her. Five seconds later they were in a cursing, writhing, painful looking heap on the ground, each trying to kill each other as the boys slowly backed out of the room. Zim and Dib decided to never let them within twenty feet of each other.

37. Hero

Dib was the unsung hero of their town. Unsung meaning he was well known, but not in the good way. Let's just say he wasn't that surprised when he was sent to the Defective Head Meat Institute.

38. Misery

In the DHMI, Dib met a nice boy named Todd. Well, he thought he was nice until Dib mentioned knowing an alien. Todd went into histarics and Dib was forced to move rooms.

39. War

Dib decided the man he was sharing a padded cell with after Todd was a war veteran. The way he talked so fondly about killing was fascinating and scary. It was in the third day that he suddenly remembered that this was Brainfreezy man, and went into a bout of histarics himself.

40. Peace

It's what the house was at when Dib went away. Of course, he had to come back. Gaz wasn't sure she liked that.

41. Bacon Soap

After the Pastollio incident, Zim told Gir to never, ever make Bacon Soap again. Gir, over the years, secretly made bacon soap and sold them for pigs. Amazingly, he became quite the entreprenuar. Zim didn't find out until Dib attacked him with it.

42. Romance

After Zim's find with , the whole group came over and read fan fictions about themselves. All were disgusted with the various pairings.

43. Death

All of Ms. Bitters class was surprised when they received the news that their freakish teacher had died of a heart attack. The new teacher was surprisingly nice, but they all still wondered if Ms. Bitters was still out there, waiting to attack.

44. Fighting

After years, Tak found out why Zim and Dib made their truce. As it turned out, their new classmates had yelled out that their fighting was a lovers spat. And then it all made sense.

45. Photographs

As it turned out, Irkens were much like vampires when it came to photography. The whole class questioned why Zim had not shown up in the class picture from picture day, nor in his own photos. He told them all that it was because he was too amazing to appear in their 'puny hyu-man pictures'.

46. Fire

Zim was shocked to find out that he was allergic to fire as well. Even though Gaz told him that everybody was 'allergic' to fire, he didn't listen and tried to get a sample of it to find out what could protect him from it. He ended up getting first degree burns from 'grabbing' it. When told why, Tak and Dib burst out laughing.

47. Winter

Zim stood shivering in the cold, wrapped in a puffy jacket that made him look a lot smaller than he really should have looked. He was wearing thick pants that were bundled into his boots, a large hat and thick gloves; as a result, he could barely move. "Don't hate the snow, Mastah!" Gir giggled, romping in the snow happily. "It's God's pee!"

48. Summer

Summer was extremely hot in the town where Zim, Dib, Tak and Gaz resided. And since they were all friends (minus Tak and Gaz) they decided to go on vacation somewhere not so hot. Well, Zim decided and forced them all to go. They ended up going to the beach, where it was not only hot and humid, but wet. Tak spent the whole time griping about how Jut, the Irken version of hell, would be better than this. Gaz agreed.

49. Spring

Spring was a wonderful time. The birds were singing, the sun was shining, and couples decided to spend all their time outside. Gaz hated it, more than summer. When asked why, she said it was the flowers, but Dib couldn't help but wonder if it was just because she didn't have a boyfriend.

50. Fall

Zim was surprised to find that it was a season.

51. Ice Cream

If water burned him, ice burned him. And if ice burned him, then ice cream would most definably kill him. Tak laughed at him and how he had run away screaming at the sight of it as she ate hers.

52. Skool

Zim stopped going in the middle of eleventh grade when it finally got through his skull that no, they weren't going to learn about human weaknesses. Ironic how the day after he left they got a lesson on what the best way to rule the earth was.

53. Kiss

Gir had heard about 'making out' on television. He decided to try it out. Zim was not happy.

54. Society

The Irkem society was a strange one, and everyone knew it. Out of the billions of planets out there, the Irken society was the only one that ran on something as stupid as height. Everyone but the Irkens knew it.

55. Circles

Zim decided that, out of all the shapes ever, it was the stupidest one because it was the only one that didn't have points besides the oval, which was basically an elongated circle. He ranted about how stupid it was because it had no idea how to fit in, which was ironic because he didn't either.

56. Drawing

Gaz had always loved to draw. Mainly pigs and things ripping Dib apart, but as she got older, she started to get more talented. Finally, she became an actual artist. Most of her drawings were still of pigs and Dib getting ripped apart.

57. Good/58. Bad

Zim was bad. Tak was bad. Dib was good. Gaz was good. But sometimes, in the things that Zim did to help (Planet Jackers), the way Tak was economically friendly, and the way Gaz acted sometimes, Dib had to question his judgement.

59. Ugly

Jessica called Zim ugly. Tak decided he was ugly in human ways, but very handsome in Irken ways.

60. Stars

Stars were something that Zim absolutely loved. Maybe it was because it made him feel closer to his home, maybe it was something completely different. Gaz never knew. And now, as she looked over to see his face lit up in moonlight, she couldn't help smiling. Gaz never smiled.

61. Fitting In

Zim did it perfectly in his AMAZING disguise. At least, that's what he thought.

62. Jump

I just wanna jump (jump!) Don't wanna think about tomorrow (jump!) I just don't care tonight I just wanna jump (jump!) Don't wanna think my sorrow Let's go, whoa… Forget your problems I just wanna jump! That song had been playing when Tak and Zim had their first kiss. It was her favorite song for years afterward.

63. Dib

Dib was the Sole Defender of Earth. At least, that's what he thought. :3

64. Light

An amazing fact about Zim was that his contacts made him see things in black and white. Funny, huh? (GRR)

65. Beauty

(click)

66. Technology

(click)

67. Kids

Gaz hated kids. They smelled like puke.

68. Dance

Gir liked to dance. He would force Zim to dance with him sometimes. Zim hated dancing. (owch)

69. Good Times

(click)

70. Something Happy

Um... not Gaz.

71. Faces

"Without faces," Ms. Bitters told the class, "We would be nothing but blood-spilling ghouls out a horror film."

72. New

(click)

73. Romance

CURSE ALL THE PAIRINGS OF INVADER ZIM! CURSE THEM!

74. CIR Unit

(click)

75. Tak

Nikki liked Tak. She spread the like of Tak to Dirge. Dirge spread it to Virginia, who spread it to Hannah, who spread it to Jason, who said he liked her but really didn't. True story.

76. December

OF WHICH THERE IS SNOW. See # 47.

77. Clarity

(click)

78. Giving Up

I've given up on this.

79. Angel

(click)

80. Kick-Butt

(click)

81. Squeedily-Spooch

(click)

82. Vengeance

Gaz's favorite Shakespeare play was 'Hamlet'. Because of the gory vengeance stuff. Yeah. ( running out of ideas...)

83. Travel

"You know," Dib said as he sat next to his new friend , Willy, "Kids love jokes. They just love 'em. So one day, I was taking my little cousin out to Disneyland, but stopped in front of a burned down house. 'Oh no!' I said, 'Disneyland burned down!' And he just cried and cried, but I knew that deep inside he considered it to be a pretty good joke. I was gonna go out to Disneyland after that, but it was getting pretty late." "Mghujrfhewt?" Willy screamed.

84. Yo Mama

"Yo mama's ugly!" "Yeah, well yo mama's fat!" "Yo mama's fat AND ugly!" Zim paused after his companion yelled that. "Wait... Zim has no 'mama'." Tak stopped and blinked twice, slowly. "Huh. Neither do I."

85. Flowers

Gaz thought the funniest of Zim's schemes was when he covered the whole town in flowers after reading about 'allergies'. That is, until her head turned into a giant flower.

86. Boredom

The scariest thing about Gir was that he got bored easily. Zim found this out after Gir blew up the moon for pure boredom-curing reasons.

87. Antenna

"They're so... stroke-y..." Gaz mumbled as she poked at Zim's antenna. He glanced at her and slowly shifted away. "Yes, Zim's lekullu are the stroke-y-est thing on Earth." Gaz laughed.

88. Fruit

As it turned out, fruit was the only Earth food that Zim could eat. The scary thing about it was that whenever his saliva touched a banana, it would come to life. Gir was overjoyed.

89. Trapped

Gaz's shirt read, "Trapped In This Thing Called Life'. "What is this, 'Life'?" Zim asked one day. Gaz rolled her eyes. "It's a giant monster that eats green aliens alive and their robots for desert." Zim's skin paled. "Z-Zim is more of a yellowish color!" he protested, then ran away screaming. The shirt was suddenly Gaz's favorite.

90. Paranormal

"Why do you always chase Zim?" Zim yelled from his roof as Dib tried desperately to climb up. "You're an alien, Zim!" Dib yelled back. "Well, to me, YOU'RE the alien!" he screamed. Dib paused. It was true, but Dib had never thought about it. Oh well. No use trashing his reality now. "I'll get you, Zim!"

91. Tacos

"Wow." Dib and Zim were grocery shopping together one day, and Dib stopped at a freezer door. Opening it, he pulled out a package and showed it to Zim. "Mini tacos! Look at how tiny they are!" "Yes, Gir." Zim smirked, and Dib glared at him. (Conversation copyright 2010 Dirge and Dirge's Dad)

92. Melody

Tak was not a good singer. Her voice just wasn't built for it. She liked singing, though, and convinced herself that she was good because, hey! She's good at everything! So when everyone in school bailed out on the talent show because she was in it, she convinced herself that it was Willy and his Amazing Flipping Pig. Because everyone loved her singing.

93. Science

The Membrane siblings hated Science. Mainly because it had not only destroyed the relationship they had with their dad, but it also had failed to save their mother.

94. Neglect

After a while, Gaz started to become more and more sulky-like. Dib, nor anyone else, could figure out why. When she turned seventeen, she full out ignored anyone, wore black, hung with the wrong crowd and did drugs. What Dib would never know is that is was his fault, and how he had started to continually ignore her. That, along with the fact that it was all their dad did, simply destroyed Gaz.

95. Feeling

"I... get this strange feeling whenever I'm around Zim." "Oh, really?" A blink. "Yeah... like, worse then hate, but less than loathing... it's strange." "You love him." "What? Never!" "Yeah, dude. Don't you notice how married couples always fight? They hate each other so much that they love each other." "That... makes no sense." "You don't make sense." Dib stared after his sister after she walked away, the conversation whirling in his head. Maybe he didn't make sense...

96. Test

Ms. Bitters gave the worst tests ever. They were, of course, easy to pass, but Gaz didn't see why she should know the easiest ways to get sick. Weren't you supposed to know how to not get sick? Ms. Bitters was really... crazy.

97. Tattoo

Once Zim saw a man with tattoo's all up his arms and neck, he went on a tirade about how stupid the hyu-mans were for ruining their bodies like this. The man called Roman stared at him before walking off, muttering about calling Jhonen about a new show idea. The next year, a show called 'Invader Lyx' came out. They later changed it to Zim after Zim came and yelled at them.

98. Money

Tak didn't see what the big deal was 'monies'. They were thing, stupid slips of easily forged paper. After all, she didn't work. She paid for stuff via forgery. Humans were simply too stupid to realize it.

99. Obsessed

"So, Dib..." Dib looked up. Jessica? Talking to him? But she... she was popular! "Uh, yeah?" He quirked an eyebrow. "You're obsessed with that green kid, right?" "Yes! He's an alien!" "Riiiiight..." Jessica paused. "Are you gay?" Dib stared at her, eyes wide. "You think... I'm gay for.. that thing?" "So you admit it." Jessica smirked. She went off and told everybody. The next day, Zim kicked him and screamed loud enough to make Dib's ears bleed that he was not his 'love pig'. The day after, Dib and Zim reached a truce.

100. The End

Dib was startled when Dirge glomped him, thus spilling his coffee all over himself. He cursed loudly, then turned his head to glare at her. "What the hell was that for?" he asked angrily. "I'm done!" she chirped happily. "It only took me three days!" Dib was going to ask what she was done with when she fell asleep, arms still around his neck. He unwrapped them and watched as she collapsed on the tile, snoring loudly. He shrugged and went up to bed. Sadly, as soon as she woke up, she found a 100 challenge for JtHM. Everyone went on an extended vacation until she was done, four weeks later.


And so, after three months, I am done.

Yes, it took me three months. I had writers block for more than half of them. Sigh.

I challenge all the readers to do this. ALL OF YOU.