I wipe the tears from my eyes as I grab my bow and arrows form their hidden place, deep in the woods, for the last time. I walk deep into the woods, up to the lake. Blossoming Primrose and Rue flowers now cover the spot where Peeta was buried. I sigh deep, shuttering breaths as I run my fingers through the soft petals.

"Hey Peeta." I whisper, lying down next to his grave. I close my eyes and image that I'm back home, just waking up from this goddamn nightmare and Peeta will be there to comfort me, his strong arms pulling me close.

But he's dead, dead, dead…

And this isn't a dream, no matter how hard I try to deny it,

Peeta's gone…

Leaving me with three kids; a hormonal teenage sixteen-year-old girl, a thirteen-year-old boy, and an eight year old, deaden boy.

I start to lightly sing the Valley song, my eyes still closed. Tears stream out from my eyelashes as the Mockingjays take up my song,

My voice and theirs,

In perfect harmony.

Little did I know that this would be the last time I sang in, well, forever.

Down in the valley, the valley so low,

Hang your head over, hear the wind blow,

Hear the wind blow, dear, hear the wind blow;

Hang your head over, hear the wind blow.

I sniffle softly, high up in a birch tree, watching for game for the last time.

Because after this, I'm done, I'm hanging up my bow and arrows for good.

I've fought this for too long, the depression, for eight long years, and I'm done.

Greasy Sae and Haymitch take care of the kids on my bad days, and the kids rarely ever talk to me anymore, probably because I'm falling into what my Mom fell into, so many years ago.

I wish I were like Annie more than I was like my Mother. At least Annie talked to her son, even smiled, but I haven't smiled for years. Peeta haunts me like a ghost, and I swear I hear him talking to me.

Roses love sunshine, violets love dew,

Angels in heaven know I love you,

Know I love you, dear, know I love you,

Angels in heaven know I love you.

I start to sob as I jump down from the tree. I had shot a squirrel, which reminded me of Peeta, and start to skin the squirrel.

Once I'm done with that, I check the snares I had set up and sniffle hard,

A rabbit…

We're going to have a feast tonight, and never have one like it ever again.

If you don't love me, love whom you please,

Throw your arms 'round me, give my heart ease,

Give my heart ease, dear, give my heart ease,

Throw your arms 'round me, give my heart ease.

I silently trod past, on hunter's feet, where Gale and I used to meet every Reaping Day, and silently bid the lovely place goodbye, for I know that I'll never see it again, and press my middle three fingers to my lips,

Goodbye…

Build me a castle, forty feet high;

So I can see her as she rides by,

As she rides by, dear, as she rides by,

So I can see her as she rides by.

I rinse my hands in the cool spring that feeds the lake, my body trembling slightly. I splash the cool water against my face and sigh.

Visions of Rue's, Prim's, and Peeta's deaths come fresh in my mind, and I clench my fists, shoving my fists into my closed eyes, gritting my teeth.

"No…"

I pick up a bundle of wild flowers, tie them together with a lock of my hair I cut with my skinning knife, and place them on the makeshift headstone I made a couple of years back.

I'm sorry Peeta. I didn't keep my promise to not turn into my Mother after you died, but I can't take it anymore.

I'm letting the depression swallow me whole.

Write me a letter, 'Send it by mail,

Send it in care of the Birmingham Jail,

Birmingham Jail, love, Birmingham Jail,

Send it in care of the Birmingham Jail.


I sigh, dropping Mom's game bag at the front door, kicking off Grandfather's hunting boots.

"Mom! I'm home!" I yell into the ghost house. But I know she'll never answer, she never does. After that hunting day in the summer, a couple of months ago, she had come home, face ashen, hands trembling, and walked up to her bedroom, locking herself in there, and not coming out for days.

I had been patiently teaching Peeta how to bake a cake for Mom's birthday, with Greasy Sae listening intently to Hunter's talk about his painting that got first place in the art fair, when Mom had finally come down from her bedroom, her eyes glassy and red-rimmed, her chocolate brown hair mussed and tangled into a rat's nest.

"Hey Mom." I had said happily, dusting off my hands from the batter of flour we had just put into the mixing bowl. Greasy Sae had looked up from Hunter's painting and stared at my Mom cautiously.

"Hello Katniss." Greasy Sae had said carefully, getting up slowly. Mom looked between the four of us with a blank look on her face. I just thought she was having a depressing day, like she would have.

Little did I know, it would be the last day I ever saw any other emotion cross her face, besides sadness.

Peeta poured a cup of sugar and dropped it into the bowl to quickly, creating a plume of flour, coating the table, myself, and his body with flour.

"Peeta Mellark, clean this up this instant!" I shout.

Great, he just ruined the cake.

Mom's eyes turn dark, and she sobs, bolting out the house.

"Katniss!" Greasy Sae shouts, handing the painting back to Hunter hastily, and bolts out after my Mom.

I sigh, running a hand through my wavy, dark hair, and turn to look at my siblings.

"Hunter, pick up your paintings and clean Mom's room up." I had said wearily, grabbing a damp cloth, and started to rub the flour off of Peeta's face.

Hunter nods and bolts up the stairs, his footsteps pounding hard, echoing throughout the house.

I turn back to Peeta, who is washing off his face by himself now, his bright blue/gray eyes wide.

"What's wrong with Mom?" Peeta asks, picking up the used measuring cups and placing them in the sink. I sigh again, picking up Peeta under the shoulders and place him on the countertop. I lean next to him, pulling up a chair.

"You know, that Dad's name is the same as yours, right?" I whisper, wiping off a blemish on his cheek. Peeta nods, his eyes downcast.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked gently, trying to catch his eye.

"So it's all my fault?" Peeta whispers, tears running down his chubby cheeks.

"NO! No!" I'm quick to cover up, hugging him close to me. "No Peeta, it's not your fault, it's just…" I sigh deeply, trying to think of the right words. "You know Mom had a lot happen to her over the years, and Dad's death was the final blow. Why, personally, she named you after Dad, is beyond my belief."

Peeta sniffles, and I touch the tip of his nose lightly, making him sneeze. "Now why don't you clean up the dishes and I'll make dinner."

Peeta nods, and we do just that. Later that night, Mom finally comes back, the smell of alcohol lingering on her breath and her body. Her eyes skirt over Peeta and Hunter, who are playing a game of chess before the crackling fire, and rest on my curled up body. I had been curled in the armchair my father had always sat in, reading a book about Panem, and the Hunger Games, when Mom came up to me, slapped the book out of my hands, and grabbed me by the collar of my t-shirt I had on.

"Primrose Rue Mellark, what have you done?" Mom asked me in a deadly voice, her breath making me gag. She must have been over at Grandpa Haymitch's, drinking her sorrows out.

"Hunter, Peeta, go to your rooms please." I had say quietly, not looking at my brothers.

Mom's eyes go dark and she throws me to the ground, turning to look at my brothers, who had been quietly sneaking up the stairs.

"Get back here, now!" Mom shrieked, charging after the two boys. I jumped up, and bolted after her. The boys had yelled and charged up the stairs, no doubt locking themselves in Hunter's room.

I had dragged Mom into her bedroom, locking the door behind me, ignoring how hard Hunter probably had worked to fix up her bedroom, and drag Mom to her bed.

"Mom." I had said, sitting down next to her shaking body, holding her hands, and trying to make her look at me. But every time I would try to make eye contact with her, she would advert her eyes and tremble harder.

Finally, my patience had worn thin, and I had screamed at her, "MOM! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?" I choke over my tears, and Mom finally meets my eyes, hers pained.

"You always are just sitting there! You never listen to Hunter or Peeta or I. You didn't even react to Peeta's first steps! He wants a Mom, because he has to deal with every time I say his name, you freak out, and he never knew our Dad! Snap out of it!"

I break down from sobbing too hard and curl up into a little ball on her lap. She tenses, not comforting me. That makes me sob even harder.

"What's wrong with you?" I sit up suddenly, wiping off my tears, my sadness fading and my anger coming back. "I want my Mom back! The one that would hug me for no reason and tell Hunter and me that you love us constantly. I get that Dad's death was hard on you, but goddamn it! It's been hard on all of us! Not just you! And it's been eight years! Peeta has never had the type of Mom that Hunter and I had. So come back." I'm pleading now. "Just please come back."

Mom has tears streaming down her face, but stares at me blankly, not saying or doing anything.

"That's it, I'm out of here." I say in a shaky voice. I get up off the bed, storm through the door, slamming it shut behind me, and stalk over to Hunter's room.

That was three weeks ago, but nothing has changed, so I've given up. I've given up on my promise I made to my Dad when I was five.

"You know Mommy has had a hard time right?" Dad had asked me after he had finished putting in the oven a fresh batch of cheesy buns. I looked up at him, he was so tall, and he had chuckled, grabbing me under my armpits and setting me down on the countertop.

I had laughed so much back then, now I barely laugh now.

"So we have to promise that we'll help her no matter what happens, alright?" I had nodded, playing with some excess dough.

Dad had helped me make some sugar cookies after that.

"Our promise cookies." He had said.

I grimace as I see the basket of sugar cookies Hunter had baked a little bit ago sitting on the counter as I place the skinned squirrel in the refrigerator.

"Hey Rose." Hunter says, pooping up from behind the counter, flour all over his face. I grin slightly, not a full smile. I'll never smile fully ever again.

"Hey Hunter." I shut the refrigerator door shut and lean against the kitchen wall, watching my thirteen-year-old brother work on some cheesy buns for Mom.

"Have you seen Mom?" I ask Hunter, moving to sit down at the counter, swiping up a sugar cookie. I try not to throw up from the taste of the sugar cookie as the sweetness hits my tongue.

You promised…

I bolt up to the sink and spit out the cookie right before I throw up. Hunter watches me with worried eyes.

"You okay Rose?" Hunter asks, setting down his oven gloves and leans back against the wall, staring at me.

I spit out the water I was using to gargle and nod, turning back towards Hunter.

"Never better. Now back to my other question, have you seen Mom?" I lean against the counter and stare back.

Hunter sighs, shaking his head. "Nope. Oh, um… Haymitch and Greasy Sae are coming over for dinner so if you could…"

He gestures to the refrigerator and I nod, already walking over there and grab the skinned squirrel.

Hunter and I work in silence for a while, before the question I had kept inside of me for so long comes bursting out.

"Do you think Dad meant to leave us with Mom like this?" I ask, stirring the stew I was making. Hunter looks up, shocked, and I feel heat rise to me cheeks.

"Rose…why would you even ask that?" Hunter whispers.

I advert my eyes, sighing softly. "I mean, Mom was so great before Dad died, but I just feel…you know…"

"Dad was a great man, he knew Mom so well, and I don't think he thought she would do this once he died." Hunter was now right next to me and hugged me. I realize, much to my horror that I was crying.

"I miss Mom so much Hunter." I whisper, still stirring the stew.

"I know Rose. We all do."


Mom actually comes down to dinner that night.

"It's a miracle." I whisper under my breath to Hunter and Greasy Sae. They nod, still staring at Mom who sat down next to Haymitch and Peeta, gathered Peeta in her lap, and cried into his blonde-brown hair.

I scooped out six bowls of stew and set them on the placemats on the dining table. Hunter put the basket of cheesy buns in the center of the table and I set the bowl of sugar cookies next to it with shaking hands.

"Time for dinner." I call out. Haymitch nods and slowly helps my Mom to stand up. Peeta runs up to Hunter and me and laughs brightly. Hunter and I kneel down to Peeta's level and I pull him into my lap.

"What's so great baby brother?" I tickle him on the sides and he giggles even harder.

"You should have seen the painting I did today in art!" Hunter picks up Peeta and places him in his chair, and I sit down next to Peeta, Hunter sitting down next to me, while Mom sits across from me and Haymitch sits across from Peeta. Greasy Sae comes in and sits across from Hunter, and we all, except for Mom, look at Peeta with veiled humor and fascination.

"So what did you paint?" I ask, grabbing a cheesy bun and set it on his napkin.

"I painted the meadow!" Peeta exclaims happily, ripping his cheese bun in half and shoving it into his stew.

I choke on my water, Haymitch pales, Hunter spits his stew back into his bowl, Greasy Sae looks at Peeta closely, and Mom just stares at the cheesy buns, a confused expression on her furrowed brow.

"Did you now?" I ask in a shaky voice, snatching Hunter's napkin right from under his hand and wipe off my chin. Hunter glares at me, his face still flushed from choking on his stew, and I look back at Peeta warily.

"Yep! Ms. Trinket says it's the best in the class. She even wants Mom to come see it tomorrow before she sends it off to the Capitol."

"Ms. Trinket?" Haymitch asks the same time I scream at him, "She WHAT?!"

Haymitch and I stares at each other for a few seconds before looking back at Peeta.

"Mmhm. Jeaaalllllooooouuuuussss." Peeta sings through his stew, a huge closed mouth grin on his tiny eight-year-old face.

"Why I oughta…" I start, but Mom interrupts me.

"Peeta, when did you make these cheese buns? You haven't made them in years!" Mom looks at Peeta in shock, and I imagine looking at my brother from her point of view.

I see a young man, probably thirty years of age, sitting next to his sixteen-year-old daughter, and a bright smile on his face as he talks about his new painting he has done. The daughter looks astonished and her brother looks dumbfounded. She doesn't even see Haymitch or Greasy Sae.

It's not hard to imagine that picture at all, because it is true, just when we were all a bit younger.

I realize that Peeta still hasn't answered the question, so I not so lightly kick him in the leg and he glares at me. I subtly nod towards Mom, and he looks at me helplessly.

"Um, well he made them just this afternoon, I helped." I smile falsely, hoping she won't question me on it.

Mom only nods, grabs a cheesy bun, and takes her bowl and the bun up to her room.

The second she's out of earshot, Peeta explodes.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!" He screams, kicking me hard in the shin.

" For just sitting there like a little idiot when Mom had finally said something since she was drunk!" I shout back, punching him in the arm.

"ROSE!" Hunter yells, slamming his hand down on my arm that's raised to punch Peeta again, knocking my arm down onto the table,

Hard.

"KIDS!" Greasy Sae shouts, stabbing her knife into the table with a loud thud. We all pause, looking up at her in shock. Haymitch stands up next to her and looks down at all of us.

"I'm out of here." Haymitch says, belching loudly. I look down and a second later, the front door slams shut.

"Let's all go into the living, shall we?" Greasy Sae asks gently, softly.

I shake my head, motioning towards the dishes. "The dishes…"

"Alright, you and Hunter clean the dishes while Peeta and I go into the living room and wait until you're done."

I open my mouth to argue, but a look from Greasy Sae makes me snap my mouth shut.

"Fine." I say tersely, grabbing my plate and storm off into the kitchen, the door slamming shut behind me.

I slam my plate against the counter so hard that my silverware goes flying.

"Damn." I mutter under my breath, tears streaming down my cheeks.

I pick my silverware and throw them in the sink. I march back up to the kitchen door and pause, my hand hovering above the doorknob as I hear low voices talking.

"What is going on with her?" Hunter asks softly.

"She's just stressed, that's all. With your father's death and your mother's depression and all, I'm surprised she hasn't gone mental yet." Greasy Sae's hushed whisper.

"What do you mean? What's happened with our two parents had been hard on all of us!" Hunter again.

"Yes, but keep in mind. She's known them the longest, she's their first child, and so they were the world to her. Then you came into the picture. And then Peeta. She has to take care of all of you. Just keep that in mind."

I fling open the door, tears still streaming down my face.

"Rose?" Hunter asks softly. Greasy Sae excuses herself into the living room where Peeta is waiting, fuming silently.

After Greasy Sae is gone, we stare at each other for a couple of minutes. Then, by some unspoken agreement, we lurch forward and hug each other.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't think about what happened with you like that. I just thought you were selfish." Hunter whispers into my hair.

I just nod, sobbing into his shoulder.

"I'm…sorry…too…for acting like a crazed little girl. I should be better." I pull back, inhaling sharply and wipe my eyes with the heel of my hands.

"No Rose, you're just fine." Hunter hugs me again and I sigh, inhaling the smells of dill and cinnamon, reminding me of happy times with Dad.

"You need to stop growing." I say lightly, punching him in the arm. He laughs, pulling away. But it's true. He's now taller than me by three inches, almost as tall as Dad was. With his blonde hair and gray eyes, his good looks and his way with words, he could be our Dad, except for the whole gray eyes thing…

"Come on, let's go into the living room. We can do the dishes later." I say, looping my arm around his shoulders.

"But what about the dishes?" Hunter asks, his eyebrows rose. We always do the dishes after dinner, always. It's something that I taught them while Mom was in her depression.

"I just needed an excuse to burn off a little anger and to cry a little bit." I squint slightly, demonstrating a little bit with my fingers.

"I got it." Hunter laughs, hooking an arm around my waist. We walk into the living room, and I expect Peeta to scream at me, throw things at me. But he doesn't. He just stares at me with tears in his eyes and I'm guessing Greasy Sae told him what she told Hunter.

"I'm so sorry Rose!" Peeta cries, running up to me, launching himself into my arms.

I fall down onto the floor, crying into his hair. Hunter kneels down next to us, picking me up in his arms and setting us down next to Greasy Sae. I turn and cry into her shoulder and she runs her hands through my hair like she did when I was little, when Dad would have an episode and Mom would run out after him, bruises tickling her neck.

I would be so scared that I would run up to baby Hunter's room to make sure that Dad didn't hurt him and Greasy Sae would be there. I would cry into her shoulder and she would run her fingers through my hair.

Exactly as I'm doing now.

I sit up, wincing as Peeta's foot digs into my inner thigh. I shudder out shaky breaths and lean back to look at Peeta.

"Hey, I'm sorry too. To all of you." I look at Greasy Sae and Hunter with tears in my eyes and Hunter smiles lightly, sliding in next to Peeta and me and hug me around the shoulders.

"Can you tell me about Dad?" Peeta asks quietly, not looking at me. I stare down at him, a small smile on my face.

"I can do more than that Peeta." I slide him off of my lap, placing him in my spot and run up to Mom's bedroom, knocking quietly.

When there's no answer, I quietly open the door and walk into the darken room. Paintings Dad had done of all of us color the walls. Mom's sleeping form lays curled in a little ball in the middle of the bed.

I brush a stray lock of hair from her face and I rummage through Dad's bedside table, looking for the tape. Once I've found it, I grab Mom's plate and glass, turning towards the door.

"I forgive you." I whisper before shutting the door almost silently.


"So, what's the plan?" Hunter asks, frying some eggs on the stove. Peeta giggles from the living room. Haymitch is tickling him and Mom watches with a small smile. I sigh, turning back towards Hunter as he sets the table. I smooth down my skirt and my vest and slick my hair back into a ponytail.

"Why did we change to these uniforms?" I whine, sitting down at my spot in the table.

"Something about how they wanted us to look in tip top shape for the Capitol? I don't know. I hate it." Hunter grimaces as he sits down next to me.

"Why? Because even more girls will be after you?" I laugh slightly. He really does look handsome in his uniform. His blonde hair is lazily flipped back, making it look like he just had the wind play with his hair. His gray shirt hugs his chest, showing off his well-toned torso and arms.

Same with his gray pants.

He's lucky that he doesn't have to wear a vest. I have to wear a white shirt with a gray vest, a blue and pink, PINK!, tie underneath the vest. My gray skirt covers up the tip of my butt, leaving little to the imagination and my knee high white socks annoy the crap out of me. Peeta doesn't have to wear a uniform yet, lucky little kid. Oh yeah, and they're making all the girls wear their hair in a ponytail.

So no braid for me. I've already caught myself twice, reaching for my braid to play with.

"What are we going to do about Ms. Trinket? She'll expect Mom to come in." Hunter whispers, not looking at Mom who just walked into the kitchen.

I shrug, stuffing my mouth with eggs so I don't have to talk to Mom.

"Your grandfather and I are going to the bakery to see if any Thom needs help." Mom says halfway during breakfast, just out of the blue.

Hunter spews milk everywhere; I choke on my eggs, and Peeta just nods, his eyes thoughtful.

"That's…that's great Mom." I whisper through a hoarse whisper.

After Mom insists that she'll do the dishes, Hunter, Peeta, and I walk out towards school.

"Okay. I am officially creeped out." I whisper into Hunter's ear. He laughs lightly and nods, his eyes pained.

"Peeta, we'll beat you to school!" I call out. Peeta looks at us from his shoulder then laughs brightly, bolting towards the gray school.

"Such a happy kid for everything that's happened to him." I whisper, watching his fading form.

"Yeah. Ms. Trinket?"

"I don't know." I sigh, shaking my head. "Go in there ourselves? I know Mom wouldn't go in there."

"Yeah…"

"How was school?" Hunter asks, linking an arm through mine. A couple girls glare at me. I mentally roll my eyes.

Do I look like I'd go out with my brother?

I shrug, leading Hunter towards Ms. Trinket's classroom. "It was fine I guess. Bell was gone since she was attacked. She's the third one this week. Said the man had gray eyes underneath the smiling mask. Lots of Seam boys being brought to court." I mumble under by breath.

Hunter looks at me worriedly. "Be careful Rose. You might be next."

I have to roll my eyes at this. "Hunter. I'll be fine. Besides, I have my bow and arrows."

We reach Ms. Trinket's room and look at each other, breathing deeply.

Finally I nod and push the door open. The sight in there makes me stop and stare in shock, Hunter inhaling sharply from behind me.

"Aunt Effie?"


The blonde haired lady looks up and laughs in delight.

"Katniss, Peeta! So good to see you. It's been so, so, long!" Effie stands up, walking toward us.

"Doesn't she know Dad's dead?" I hiss under my breath. Hunter tenses as Effie hugs us both.

"How are-wait, you aren't Katniss and Peeta! Who are you?" God, she's the same blonde she always was.

"Aunt Effie, its me; Primrose, and Hunter." Effie's jaw drops.

"Oh my…"

"Hey Ms. Trinket!" Peeta sneaks out from us and beams up at Effie. Effie pales dramatically and slumps down into a chair.

"Where's Katniss?" Effie asks after a while.

"She's with Haymitch."

"How about Peeta?"

"Peeta's dead." I say bluntly. Effie looks up at me, tears in her eyes.

"So it is true…I thought…well I heard that Peeta had made a beautiful painting, so I came from the Capitol, but I didn't think that…" Effie looks between the three of us, clearly trying to sort through her mind.

"This is Peeta, my eight-year-old brother, who made that beautiful painting you were talking about." I gesture to Peeta who is playing with some paint.

"How long had it been?"

"Eight years today." I stare at her blankly. She nods and walks over to a wall. I gesture for Peeta to come over and he does.

"Well, here's where the teacher said the painting would be." Effie gestures towards the wall and I pull the sheet covering the painting down slowly.

"Peeta…"

He's captured the Meadow perfectly. The swaying Primroses, the dancing Rue flowers, the snapping tree branches.

And in the middle of it all, there lays Dad, on his back, a content smile on his face, his eyes closed.

I close my eyes, imaging the scene. Dad had just chased Hunter around and now was laying down on his back right next to the lake. I remember the Rue and Primrose flowers had tickled his nose and he had braided me a crown of flowers for my birthday. I was eight then. So the year that he died.

Tears are in my eyes as I whisper,

"That is Capitol work."


"I'm going out!" I yell, grabbing my hunting jacket and slip my feet into Grandfather's hunting boots.

Hunter's head pops out from the kitchen door. "Not without this first." He hands me a basket covered with cloth, and delicious smells waft up from the basket.

"For lunch." Hunter explains. He watches me closely as I nod thanks and move to walk out. Hunter grabs my arm and spins me around, so I'm facing his chest.

"Dear Hunter," I muse, my annoyance showing. "I didn't know that you cared about me this way. I mean I guess I can understand, with my good looks and all."

"Rose, enough jokes. I'm worried about you. You've been moody ever since you saw the painting Peeta made and that was eight days ago. I'm afraid that you're going to be attacked. Another girl yesterday. Another one." Hunter grounds out from clenched teeth.

I pat his cheek, my voice hardening. "Thanks Hunter, but shouldn't I be worried about you? I mean, that's what big sisters are for. Worrying about you, not you about me."

I slip out from underneath his arm, stalking up to the door. I look back at Hunter, whose jaw is clenched tight, his eyes hard.

"I'll be back around eight. Don't wait for me."

And with that, I close the door behind me.


I growl in anger as I jog up to the fence. I stare at the bakery for a few seconds, feeling like I forgot something.

Hmm…

I shrug, crawling under the fence, starting my trek up to the lake.

Halfway there, I remember I forgot my lunch. Well, I'll find food like the ancient people did, scavenge for it.

I stop at a clearing and pause, listening for the telltale sign of the lake. I hear water bubbling down rocky falls and smile slightly.

Yep, I'm close.

I shake out my hair and jog up to the lake in five minutes. Once there, I whisper hi to Dad, strip off my socks and boots and sigh, placing my feet in the cool water. I lean back and sigh again, the sun making patterns in my closed eyelids.

I hear a rustle in the bushes and my eyes fly open. I sit up and listen intently again.

Nothing…

I shrug. Must have been a deer.

I pull my feet out after a minute hesitation and pull my socks back on. Stupid. Now they're soaked.

I pull on my boots and trek into the forest. I see a azure Primrose and a purple Rue flower and grab some pretty weeds, grabbing a long grass to tie the bundle together to place on Dad's grave.

Just as I turn, someone grabs my arm, bending it painfully behind my back, making me drop the bundle. Another hand covers my mouth as I scream in pain and horror.

The smiling mask…

No…

The man presses my back against his chest, still forcing my arm behind my back awkwardly. The now empty hand gropes across my chest, and I scream again.

"Sshh Katniss, soon this will all be over. I'll make sure the Mockingjay never flies again."


I laugh, watching Peeta try to beat Hunter at a game of chess.

That's right, Grandpa Haymitch is here babysitting.

Hey! I didn't want to, but Greasy Sae couldn't. Helping Katniss or what bullcrap she said.

"Checkmate." Hunter says, for the fifth time in a row, smiling lightly.

"NNOOO!" Peeta shouts, throwing his king at Hunter. Hunter laughs, catching the piece and his smile falls when he looks outside.

"It's nine. She should have been here an hour ago." Hunter frowns, definitely worried.

I sigh, standing up. "Listen kid. I know your sister. She'll be fine. It's probably taking longer to sell the meat than she thought."

Hunter nods, his mind still elsewhere.

"Hey! Time for bed!" I yell, both with happiness and relief. Can't get rid of them fast enough.

"Aaww!" Hunter and Peeta whine, pouting.

"Hey, I'm not your sister." I cackle, shoving them up the stairs.

Once I'm sure that they're brushing their teeth, I sit back in the recliner and sigh.

A scratch comes from the front door and I sit up, frowning slightly.

Normally Buttercup comes in through the back. Must have locked it…

I groan, getting up with difficulty.

The scratch comes again. "Alright, I'm coming!" I yell.

A whimper.

Hmm.

I unlock the door, turning on the outside light.

What is in front of me is not what I pictured in a million years.

Rose is lying in front of the door, her hair tangled with leaves and twigs rooted in the snarls. Blood and grime cover her face, her eyes wide. Her clothes are ripped and thrown back on in a haste,

As if to get away from someone, and quick.

The smiling man…?

"Help…me…" Rose rasps out, tears falling down her face. I lean down and gather her into my arms, pulling her close to me. Her body shakes violently, frozen solid.

"HUNTER!" I shout.

"Yeah?"

"GET DOWN HERE!"

Pounding footsteps comes from the stairs. A second later, gray eyes meet my own, then widen as they see what's in my arms.

"Rose…"

I nod. "No time. I'll bring Peeta to Greasy Sae's if you'll get her to the hospital."

Hunter gathers in his arms and she trembles.

"Oh God Rose." Hunter moans, hugging her close to her chest.

"If they ask, the smiling man." I say, already bolting towards the stairs.


I moan slightly, trying to pry open my eyes. Once I do, I wish I hadn't.

Gray eyes meet mine.

His eyes, staring at me with lust and anger as he attacks me, him stretching me to oblivion,

Katniss…

I scream, a throaty, hoarse scream, and try to back away from him. My head hits the wall and I groan, sliding back down.

"Rose, just calm down. Oh God, why didn't you listen to me?" The man gets up and walks to the door.

"Dr. Grey, she's up." The man calls, then walks back in.

I cower under my blankets. Will he attack me again? How can I get away?

"Hello Rose, good to see you up again." A man with brown eyes greets me.

"Hunter could you please leave?"

The man with gray eyes nods, looks at me one more time, then leaves, shutting the door soundlessly behind him.

"How are you doing?" The doctor asks me, sitting down next to me.

"My legs, and my arm." I moan, the pain now fully hitting me.

"Yes, that was quite an ordeal you went through, I'm not doubting they hurt. Can I check you quickly?" he nods towards the blanket. My breath hitches in my throat. Is he going to attack me too?

No, he has brown eyes. He won't.

I think…

The doctor gently pries the blanket from my hands, and hikes up my hospital gown.

My eyes squeeze shut.

Brown eyes…

Brown eyes…

Brown eyes…

NOT GRAY…

Finally he pulls down my gown and places the blanket back over me.

"You'll start treatment tomorrow, meeting with other girls who had the same thing happen to them like what happened to you." The doctor gets up to leave, then turns back.

"Oh, and your brother doesn't mean you any harm. He loves you."


After a nap, I open my eyes to see I have visitors. Greasy Sae and Peeta are here.

"Where's Hunter?" I rasp. My voice is raw from screaming my lungs out, both from trying to call for help and in pain.

Greasy Sae shushes me, brushing a piece of sweat-slickened hair away from my forehead.

"Just rest. Hunter came to check on you after you fell asleep, bringing your Mom here too. She ran out before he could stop her. He just left a little bit ago."

I nod, my eyelids drooping.

"Rose? What happened?" Peeta asks quietly, her eyes wide.

I just stare back at my brother, my heart in my throat. Finally, I clear my throat and squeak out, "When you're older. I'll tell you everything."

"But-"

"Peeta." Greasy Sae cuts off Peeta, sending him a look.

"Why don't we come back after your treatment tomorrow? You need your rest anyways."

I nod, my eyelids fluttering shut.

"Tomorrow." I whisper, a brush of wind on my lips.

Tomorrow.


I walk home, my head hung low.

Why didn't she listen to me?

"Hey Hunter!" Haymitch calls from his porch. I look up to see Haymitch running over here. I frown.

Something's up.

"What's up Haymitch?" I call out once he's in earshot.

"Where's your mother?"

My heart clenches painfully. I don't know where she is.

I shake my head. "Why?"

Haymitch bolts up to me, breathing hard.

"Find her. Now."

I nod, my eyes thoughtful yet calculating. "You check the basement, I'll check the house. I'll get you if I find anything."

Haymitch nods and we bolt towards my house.

I slam the door open, a faint trace of blood lingering in the air.

"MOM!" I shout, running through the living room, up to the stairs.

"KATNISS!" Haymitch shouts, running downstairs to the basement.

"MOM!"

I check Roses' room.

Nothing.

I check my bedroom and Peeta's.

Still nothing.

I face palm myself once I realize she's probably in her bedroom.

I open the door up silently. "Mom?"

A little moan.

I open the door all the way and see that the bathroom light is on, the door shut.

I walk up to the door, the coolness from the bathroom door handle tickling my hand.

"Mom?" I jiggle the handle.

Locked.

"Mom, it's me, Hunter. Open the door." I try again.

Still locked.

I slam my hand against the door, the wood moaning from my touch.

"MOM! OPEN THE DOOR!"

Silence.

I growl, slamming my hand against the door once more before stalking through her room and into the hallway.

"HAYMITCH!" I shout down the stairs. Haymitch's face pops out from the landing.

"Yeah kid?"

"Up here." I nod towards the bedroom. He nods and bolts up the stairs, following me at my heels.

I knock on the bathroom door again.

"Mom? Please open the door."

Nothing.

"Haymitch can you…" I gesture to the door and he nods again. He grabs an extra bar from the heater and smashes it against the door handle.

Silence.

"Again."

Smash.

Silence.

"Once more."

Smash.

The door bursts open in a shower of metal shards and woods splinters. I stumble into the bathroom and stare in shock.

Blood. It's everywhere. Across her face, the mirror, her shirt, the tiles.

Everywhere.

"MOM!" I scream, crashing to me knees next to her and press my fingers to her pulse point. Alive, but just barely.

"Haymitch, what should we do?" I look down to see a bloodied razor next to her limp arm. See her slit wrists.

"Well…" Haymitch gently picks up Mom, situating her in his arms.

"We bring her to the hospital of course."


Treatment day.

I'm so nervous. I can't talk about what happed to these people.

Yet…I need to get it out somehow right?

I sit down next to my friend, Bell, and she smiles nervously at me. Bruises tickle her eyes and neck, her lips cut and bleeding.

"Smiling man?" Bell asks me gently.

I shudder and nod slightly.

"Same here."

I wave my hand lightly towards the other girls here. Charlotte, Lottie, Emma, and Sophie.

All girls from the Seam.

Attacked as I was.

A group of Peacekeepers walk in with a nurse from Dr. Grey.

"Hello ladies. I'm Beatrice and I'll be talking with you today about what happened with the man we call, 'The smiling man' via his smiling mask he wears." She sits down next to me, but the Peacekeepers just stand there watching us. Some have notebooks in their hands.

"What's with the Peacekeepers?" I rasp. I already know the answer; I just want to hear from her.

"They're here to take down notes. This group is tracking down the man, getting so close, but they need a couple more clues. So just ignore them, pretend that they're not here. They're not going to hurt you." She pats my hand softly and I nod, looking back at Bell.

"Who would like to go first?" Beatrice asks.

Nobody answers.

"Alright…Rose, would you like so share what happened?"

I stiffen slightly before nodding slowly.

"I was out in the woods, grabbing a bundle of wild flowers to place on my father's grave," I start, but Beatrice stops me.

"Dear, what's your father's name?"

"Does it matter?" I stare at her with veiled disgust.

She nods, gesturing towards the Peacekeepers, who are looking at me intently.

"They need to know details, to see what his motives were."

I nod softly. "Peeta Mellark."

A Peacekeeper nods and writes it down.

"Anyways, so I was about the turn back to place the flowers on Dad's grave, when a man grabbed the arm that had the flowers and shoved it against my back painfully." My arm twitches involuntarily and Beatrice soothes me, rubbing a hand gently across the arm.

"He slammed a hand against my mouth and pressed me against his chest, freeing his hand. He then groped along my chest and I screamed. Then he dragged me into the woods and just…" I shudder, tears flowing from eyes. I break down and start to sob, shaking hard.

"You can stop Rose. Thank you." Beatrice says softly.

"Did he say anything?" A Peacekeeper asks. I look up and nod.

"I was screaming for help and he had said 'Ssshh Katniss, soon this will all be over. I'll make sure the Mockingjay never flies again.' And then he did…that…" I choke and the Peacekeeper nods.

I shudder again and Bell rubs a hand against my back.

"Alright, Bell?"

The group has similar stories. Bell had been walking home when he attacked and dragged her behind the tailor's shop.

Same thing for another girl.

And he always said the name Katniss…

I sit there, staring at the girls, comparing their features.

Why would he want girls that looked like…

Like my Mom.

I stifle a gasp. Yes they do look like her. The dark hair. The braid. The gray eyes that stare angrily at their hands.

The man has a thing for my Mom. Maybe a death wish, who knows.

All I know is that I have to keep my Mom safe.

And fast.


Weeks pass, I stay hidden at home, watching Mom to make sure she didn't get hurt,

Or attacked.

Hunter and Peeta, even Haymitch had tried to get me to go out into the Hob to get something, anything, but I wouldn't.

He attacked girls there, why wouldn't he attack me there?

But I swear, I've come close to just bolting out of the house to the Hob, despite my fears.

Mom has been driving me up the wall. Every day, she would eat the breakfast Hunter had made, then went to go to the living room, staring blankly at the bakery.

Then she would whisper Peeta, over

And

Over

And

Over again.

Finally, one day I had had enough of this. I had been reading a book about the days before Panem. I wish I lived there, in that era. Everyone rights, and no Hunger Games

At all.

Mom had whispered, "Peeta, where are you?" and I had blown my top.

"MOM!" I had screamed, flinging my book at her. "DAD IS DEAD! HE'S NEVER COMING BACK!"

I had bolted up the stairs, sobbing hard. Hunter and Peeta had found me curled up in my bed, clutching my elbows.

"Hey Rose." Hunter says, dropping to his knees in front of me.

"Hey Hunter, what?" I ask, slightly irritated. I was about to fall asleep.

"Where's Mom?"

My eyes open wide, staring at him in shock.

"I don't know…"

An explosion rocks us to the core, the plates and china rattling in the showcases, some falling to the ground, breaking into a million pieces.

A second later, Haymitch bursts through the door.

"Kids." Haymitch breathes, his eyes wide and teary.

"It's your Mom."


"Saw her walking towards the bakery." Haymitch says as we stand at the smoldering remains of the bakery. "Thought I'd follow her. She walked in, and never came out. Someone must have planted a bomb set to go off when the door opened."

I shake my head, still stunned.

"She was the first one in this morning." Haymitch prompts.

"I feel horrible!" I cry, falling to my knees. Haymitch pats my back awkwardly. Normally Hunter would do that, but he had run to the school to get Peeta.

"Why was I so horrible to her? I'll never be able to take it back now!" I sob into Haymitch's shoulder, not moving even when people straggle in to look at the wreckage,

When the Peacekeepers come in to salvage any remains.

But I do move when they take out a black body bag and pick up Mom's charred bones.

Hunter and Peeta are there to see that.

I scream, jumping up from my curled position on the ground and bolt over to the Peacekeepers that are zipping up the bag that holds the remains of my Mom.

"MOM!" I scream, tears falling down my face. I shove one of the Peacekeepers out of the way and trying to unzip the bag.

I have to see her…

I have to!

"Rose!" Hunter yells, pulling me away from the bag. I fight him and he pins my arms behind my back. I slump to the ground, pulling Hunter down with me.

"She's gone Hunter." I sob into his chest.

"She's gone."


"We're going to have to figure out who is to take you into their home." President Paylor sits across from us at our dining table.

In Mom's spot.

I stare at her blankly, numbly.

She's really gone.

We had buried her remains next to Dad's grave a day ago.

And then she came.

"I've already asked Greasy Sae, Haymitch, and Gale to see if they would want to take you in. Haymitch said he can't; drinking problem, and Greasy Sae can't; old age, so you're to stay with Gale and his wife, Johanna." Paylor looks at me worriedly. I don't respond.

"You can't do that!" Peeta screams, throwing his glass at Paylor. His heart had broken in two when he found out that Mom was dead.

Cried for days.

And I'm turning into a shell of myself,

Just like Mom.

"Please know that we're doing all that we can to find out who killed your Mom. We're so sorry for your loss." Paylor squeezes my limp hand. I flick my gaze up to hers.

"No you're not."

"Yes, Rose, we are very sorry. Losing your father was a big blow. The Capitol people lost their favorite speaker, the charming Peeta Mellark. Losing your mother blew them to pieces. It took me days to calm down the crowds. The loved their Mockingjay. They mattered to them as they did to you."

"Yes, but they weren't their Mother, now were they? Did their Father teach them how to bake beautiful cakes to give as presents to friends? Did their Mother sing to them when they hurt or when they were sad?" I'm shouting now. "DID THEIR FATHER GET TOURTURED TO THE POINT WHERE HE HATED HIS WIFE?! TRIED TO KILL HER?! WHERE EITHER OF THEIR PARENTS IN THE HUNGER GAMES?" I sit down, breathing hard.

"No. No." I shake my head. Paylor stares at me in shock and I continue. "Our life was perfect before the Hunger Games, and will be perfect. But it all went down when our family was introduced to the Capitol. Just leave." I flick my wrist towards the door.

I would never talk to her this way if both my parents were alive. If I had, Mom would have cried and scolded me, and Dad would have just shaken his head, saying he was disappointed.

Disappointed.

I laugh mentally. I haven't heard that word since Dad was still alive.

I just realized how bad my life was.

I open my mouth to apologize but Paylor interrupts me.

"You leave first thing tomorrow. Pack and be ready by 8."

And with that she gets up, storms out of the house, and drives off as silently as she came in.


"Hey sweetheart." Haymitch says softly when he comes in for dinner. I nod numbly, staring at my peas. Hunter makes small talk with Haymitch, but conversation dies quickly. Peeta glares at his meat, not talking to Haymitch at all.

"Hey buddy, what's wrong?" Haymitch nudges Peeta softly in the side and Peeta dodges away from his elbow, stabbing his meat.

"HOW COULD YOU?" Peeta shouts suddenly. I jerk, splashing water on Hunter's arm.

"Sorry." I mumble. Hunter just rubs his hand across my arm.

"How could I what Peeta?" Haymitch asks calmly.

"Just sit there and act like we're not having our last meal together, since you left us for Gale?" Peeta slams his fork down on his plate and storms up to his room. A minute later, his door slams shut.

"Haymitch, I don't want to go to Gales tomorrow." I say in a shaky voice.

"I know sweetheart, but Paylor wouldn't allow me to keep you, even if I did have a drinking problem." Haymitch frowns.

Wait…

What?

"Anyways, you guys should probably pack. I'll make sure nobody messes with your house while you're gone." Haymitch laughs lightly, but his eyes are pained.

I sigh, tears pooling in my eyes as set my plate down at the counter.

Hunter grabs my hand and we make our way up to our rooms.

"I'll take care of Peeta." Hunter whispers before walking into his bedroom and shuts the door quietly.

Tears fall freely down my face as I open my bedroom, flicking on the light. Trees surround me for the last time. Painstakingly intricate flowers painted around my bed, crystal blue eyes meet mine as I pack up my clothes into a suitcase. I grab my brush from my adjoining bathroom and brush my fingers over my handprint I had made on the mirror when I was younger and Mom and Dad's handprints above mine.

Once my suitcase is packed, I venture into Mom and Dad's bedroom, grabbing some things to bring and stuffing them into my suitcase.

Dad's tape for the kids, Mom's locket and pearl, and lug my suitcase back down the stairs to the front door, where Hunter and Peeta's are sitting.

I look into the living room to see Hunter, Peeta, and Haymitch sitting around the fire. I ghost into the living room and sit on the couch armrest.

"Hey Rose." Hunter whispers, tears damping his cheeks. I slide down into the couch and cry into Hunter's chest.

Our family is finally broken,

For good.


I stare at the train station, my braid flopping on my shoulder from the strong wind. Hunter stands next to me, holding my hand with his empty one. Peeta stands in front of me, holding his suitcase for dear life. We all stare blankly at the train as it comes into District 12.

Right on time.

Haymitch bids us goodbye, promising that he'd visit us, but all know he's lying.

I keep my eyes focused for a tall man and a shorter woman that will be clinging to him.

It doesn't take long for them to come. I spot his dark hair and her lighter head among the mass of people, hugging Peeta closer to me and clenching Hunter's hand tighter.

"Rose! Hunter! How nice to see you two!" Johanna Hawthorne calls in her deeper voice.

Aunt Johanna and Uncle Gale are here to claim us for the time being.

I plaster a pained smile on my face, but everyone knows it's fake.

"Who is young man?" Johanna kneels down to Peeta's level and Peeta buries his face into my stomach.

"This is our younger brother, Peeta." Pain flashes across Johanna's dark eyes as she stands back up, grabbing my suitcase.

"How are you all doing?"

"Fine." The remark snaps out of my mouth before I can stop it. "I mean, who wouldn't be fine after your father has died and your mother became a shell of herself before being mysteriously killed by some unknown assassin? Oh and you're also taking care of your siblings at the same time that you've been attacked by some random guy that they can't find? Yeah, we're great. Never better!"

"Forget I asked." Johanna mutters under her breath.

"Come with me, Gale's at the train." Johanna turns and we follow her slowly, taking in our last glimpse of District 12.

"Rose! Hunter! How've you been?" Gale asks once we've boarded the train. Peeta wanders off with Hunter and Johanna follows them. I meet Gale's eyes and gasp slightly.

I've seen those gray before…

"If you tell anyone what happened between the two of us like that ever again, I would have to kill you." Gale smiles softly, but his eyes are dangerous.

My uncle is the smiling man.