A/N: I wanted to scrap this story so many times. I'm serious, I did. But, I was bound and determined to see it through, because Teddy wouldn't shut up. So, here it is. Song used is Love Like Winter by AFI. I don't own Teddy or John, though I'd like to. As always…read and review!
Warn your warmth to turn away
Here it's December
Everyday. I like that
Some say that I'm heartless. I disagree. I'm not heartless, I just don't care. There's a difference. I'm just afraid of letting people in. There's a line between being heartless and not caring. My boyfriend is heartless. I'm just the most unfeeling bastard out there. I should introduce myself, I'm just choosing not too. I don't care. I know that there isn't anything out there to make me care, either. Except Randy. I care about Randy. And Randy cares for me. Deeply. He never says 'I love you'. He says 'I care deeply for you.' And I know that's the truth. Another day at the arena, and we enter holding hands. He looked at me and grinned.
"Okay, it stops here. We'll catch up later."
He said, kissing my forehead. It was like this always with us. We weren't secret lovers or anything, we just didn't flaunt it backstage like some people do. I sighed and looked around as he walked into the arena. I wasn't ready to go in yet, so I just walked around a little bit more and saw John Hennigan lurking around. He was the one person who mattered to me besides Randy. I walked up behind him and took his hand discreetly. He smiled at me and I smiled back.
"Hi."
"Hi. Sorry I'm late. Randy took forever. So, what's on the agenda for tonight?"
"Dinner and a movie?"
"Good idea. Randy's got an early flight, so I can meet you at about seven."
"Okay, see you then."
"Teddy?"
He said to me. I looked back up at him, and I could see the love that he had for me falling from his eyes. I had that same love for him. Randy was an inconvenience that had to be dealt with and he would be. I hugged him close to me, and sighed. This was what I wanted. This was what I needed. The only man who can see through my not caring pretenses. Because with Johnny, it was true. I did soften. Softened like the butter when left out too long. I hadn't realized however, that Randy was right around the corner, and was listening to every word we'd said.
Press your lips to the sculptures
And surely you'll stay
Love like winter
I knew I was fucked once I made it back to the locker room that Randy and I shared. I sighed and opened the door and looked at him. I watched as he stood up and walked towards the door. I looked at him, and that's when it happened. He reached out and slapped me. I didn't deserve his slap, but he felt that I did.
"How long?"
"How long what?"
I asked, playing dumb again. I didn't want to let on that I knew what he was talking about and let him beat the shit out of me. Absolutely not. So, I watched as his hand struck the side of my head again.
"You gonna keep lying about it Ted? Or am I going to beat it out of you? How fucking long have you and John been together?"
"Going on seven months…"
"Seven fucking months? And you didn't bother to tell me?"
He said, wailing on me again. I went down like a sack of bricks and let him hit me. I knew that it would be over soon. It didn't make sense to struggle. If I fought back, he'd fight that much harder. After it was over, and I realized I was laying in a pool of my own blood, I reached for my cell phone. I hadn't realized Randy was still in the room. He kicked it away from me, and then squatted down next to me.
"John Hennigan, will never touch you….I will make sure of that."
He said, standing upright and walking out. I had to protect Johnny, no matter the cost. I started crawling towards my iPhone, but stopped when I saw a boot step in front of me. I looked up and saw Johnny standing there. My own personal angel. He gasped and helped me up.
"Teddy, who did this?"
"Who else?"
I said, swallowing my own blood. I watched as John wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I winced. It hurt. Randy had kicked me in several spots this time, and I knew there was going to be some bruising. I could tell that John was going into weird protective mode, and I liked it.
"Take your hands off of him."
I heard Randy's voice say a couple minutes later. And it was filled with the venom of a thousand snakes. And that's how Randy earned his nickname, the Viper.
For of sugar and ice
I am made, I am made
John stood up and looked at Randy. It was going to come to blows, I just knew it was. I tried standing up, but realized that it hurt too much to move. I watched as this took place in front of me. I was so nervous and scared for them both. I watched it play out.
"Me? Me? You're a tough guy, you know that?"
"I know I'm tough, Hennigan, but please. Enlighten me oh great Shaman."
John handed me his aviator shades to hold on to. I've never known him to go anywhere without them, but when he was in a confrontation, he'd always take them off to get a better look at the guy. That's how we got together, anyway…moot point. I watched as John made his point.
"First of all, Randy. I am not a Shaman…I am the Shaman. And don't you ever forget that. Secondly, this man, right here. See him. Get a good look at him, because I promise you, you will never, ever as long as long as I am breathing in and out lay one more hand on his head! And if I find out that you have, you will not be tainting perfectly good air breathing in and out."
And with that, Johnny walked out. Minus his aviator sunglasses and me. I struggled to my feet and headed for the door. Randy stepped in front of it, and put his arm out to me. He grabbed it hard and pulled me closer to him.
"When he leaves you, and you come crying back to me. Don't think I'll be here waiting. DiBiase, I can find ten men with the physical stamina you have…"
He said, letting me go. I hobbled out of the locker room and down the hallway towards John's locker room. I saw him holding what I call his Morrison coat. He was patting his jeans, like he was looking for the glasses. I chuckled softly and held them up.
"Looking for these?"
He smiled at me and took them, his hand brushing mine. I winced at the pain that lingered there. And he noticed that. He led me down the hallway and propped the shades on his forehead. It made me realize that there was more to this life then just not caring. This man, mattered. It all suddenly fell into place. I just needed that motivation to realize this.
"Thanks Teddy. Are you okay? I mean, you were beat pretty bad."
"I'll survive. I've done it before."
"Before? How long has it been going on?"
"Awhile. Since we started dating, his temper had gotten completely out of control. He doesn't really get mad all the time, just when he's irritated. WWE hasn't been good to him. He's trying to be good. Trying."
"Bullshit, Teddy. I cannot believe you're defending him. But, that's why it's called Battered Women Syndrome. Look, I don't want to fight with you. I don't. I love you too much to fight with you. So, I'm going to go out there and beat up Randy. And I'm going to do it for you."
He said, kissing my forehead and walking away. I scratched my head. I didn't know what he was thinking about. But I know what I was thinking of. I was thinking that John was right. I was defending him, and it needed to stop. I walked back towards the locker room that Randy and I shared.
It's in the blood
It's in the blood
I met my love before I was born
He wanted love
I taste of blood
He bit my lip, and drank my warmth
From years before, from years before
I went to a nearby monitor before I headed back to the locker room. I knew there was a lot of personal issues between them, regarding me. I didn't want to watch, but I was glued to the screen. 'Voices' hit first, and I shivered. I'd been with Randy for almost a year, and with Johnny for seven months. Johnny was the safe haven I'd been looking for. Randy however wasn't on the screen. He was nowhere to be found. I looked at the monitor and saw that Randy was jumping John from behind. I knew exactly where they were, and so I took off running down the hall. No matter that every part of my body hurt. I rounded the corner and saw that Randy had a crowbar in his hand. I jumped on top of him, and yanked the crowbar out of his hand. I didn't want Randy to hurt Johnny.
"Fuck this! It's not worth it!"
I yelled, walking away. I heard Johnny following me down the hallway, but I wanted to be left alone. I saw John come up next to me. We walked towards the parking lot in silence. He reached over and took my hand. I didn't push him away, like the little voice in my head told me to do. He was cooling me down, and that was what I needed right now.
"You okay?"
"Sure. I've been through worse, Johnny."
"Let me see."
He said, lifting my shirt. He wasn't doing it in a sexual manner, he was doing it in an examining manner. He saw all the bruises on my rib cage, my chest, the bite marks on my biceps. The abuse that Randy inflicted in it's physical form, was there, hanging out, for him to see. He ran his hand down my chest and I winced as he touched the still tender spots. He was shaking his head and I realized that this was it.
"I don't know how you've survived this. You need to leave."
He said to me. I knew he was right. I had nowhere else to go. I sat down on the hood of the Ferrari I had rented and watched as he sat with me. He held my hand and put his head on my shoulder. I sighed and started talking. And we sat there for what seemed like forever, discussing the damage to my relationship with Randy. Just as I had agreed to get out of the relationship, Randy came barreling towards us. He pulled me up by my arms and had a tight grip on them.
"Come on, Teddy. It's time to leave."
"I'm not going anywhere with you, Randy."
I said. He looked at me with a cold, blank stare and I could tell that he was going to wail on me, even if Johnny was standing there. He raised a hand to me, and whacked me hard on the back of his hand. I knew he'd drawn blood this time. I felt my lip, and there was blood trickling.
"What the fuck did you say?"
"I said, I'm not going with you! I'm leaving, Randy. You wanna knock someone around, knock around someone weaker. But I'll be damned if you do it to me anymore! You've made me feel so inadequate. I'm a man, Randy. Not a dog. And I will not let you hit me anymore. Johnny talked about me having Battered Woman Syndrome-where I constantly forgive you for doing what you do. I am removing myself from the situation, before you kill me. I'm flying back to St. Louis tonight, and I'm packing my stuff. I'll be out by the time you get home on Sunday. Have a nice fucking life, asshole."
I said, getting in the car with John, throwing it into reverse and driving away. I don't know what came over me. John remained quiet and stayed with me as we made it to the hotel. It was then he spoke up.
"I'm proud of you, Teddy. You can come stay with me."
He said, stepping out of the car and heading inside.
She exhales vanilla lace
I barely dreamt her yesterday, yesterday
Read the lines in the mirror
Through the lipstick trace
Por siempre
We headed into the hotel in silence. I was carrying his bag, mine having been forgotten at the arena. I would hope that Randy would have a little shred of decency and bring my bag to me, but I wasn't expecting it. I watched as Johnny unlocked the door to his hotel room and ushered me in. I grinned and looked at the room. It was a palace, and it fit Johnny's personality perfectly. It was his own personal Palace of Wisdom. I chuckled at that thought, and John looked at me like I was crazy. I sighed and looked up at him.
"Sorry."
"No problem. What was the giggle for?"
"I was just thinking that you have your own little Palace of Wisdom here."
"I do, don't I?"
"You do."
I said, and sat down on the bed. I was a million miles away. I couldn't stop thinking about the abuse I'd suffered at the hands of Randy. I knew that it wasn't okay. John was right once again. I was about to stand up, when he shook me. I turned to look at him and sighed.
"I'm sorry, did you say something?"
I asked him. He had a look of concern on his face, and right away I knew he wasn't happy with me. I reached out to take his hand, and he pulled it away from me. I groaned and he got up and started pacing in front of me, his hands in his pockets. He shook his head and came back over and knelt in front of me.
"He beat the shit out of you, Teddy. And you continually went back to him. Now you're with me, and you're worried about me. I'm not going to hit you, Teddy. It's not who I am. You just seem like you're cowering. Don't be so closed off with me. I swear on my life, that I'm not going to hurt you."
He told me, as a knock came to the door. He put his hand on my face, and then stood up to answer it. I lay backwards on the bed and closed my eyes for a few short seconds. I heard the door open and I looked at the open door to see Matt Hardy standing there with my bags. Randy must have dispatched him to bring them to me. He was in town visiting friends, and was very gracious to me when we met.
"Hey Ted."
"Hey Matt."
"Randy asked me to bring your things by. I told him I would. So, here's your bags."
He said, placing them in the corner, by the closet door. I stood up to shake his hand and smiled at him. I found him very charming, and that needed to not think about how he had an amazing smile.
"Thanks for that. Randy and I don't get along all that well anymore. And I needed to get out."
"We heard. Backstage is all a-buzz about it. Good for you for getting out."
He said, turning and walking away. I shrugged on that last comment and walked over to my bags. I started sorting through them and found a piece of paper. It was from Randy. I opened it and skimmed the letter, before reading it all the way through.
She said "It seems your somewhere, far away" to his face
"Teddy,
I have spent a year trying to tell you this. And for some reason the words never came out right. I love you. And though my behavior doesn't show it, the faith you have in me, I don't deserve. The beatings you take from my hands, I am terrified you'll lose me, so I beat you to possess you. I know that doesn't sound right, but it's true.
And now I feel like I'm losing you to someone else. The smiles you share with Cody Runnels, the lingering handshakes with Adam Copeland, the pats on the back with the divas. Whoever it is, will not hold half of the love I have for you. You don't know just how ashamed I am for the bruises that I've left on your body. Nothing can take away that agony.
You need to know that if you leave me, things will never be the same. My world will be completely shattered. Before you entered it, my world was a black, hollow hole. You light up my life with your useless TV game show knowledge, and your basketball trivia. Your love for that dopey dog, and how serious you take your career.
Bottom line, Teddy is I need you. And I'll fight for you. I'll fight whoever it is to keep you, no matter what.
I love you more than words can say. Even if I don't say it.
Randy."
I was shocked. He'd said that he loved me. He loved me. But Johnny loved me too. I couldn't believe this was happening now. I was scared to death that I was going to lose both of them. But I had to make a choice. I had to choose between the man who gave me everything, and the man who I could lose it all with. I threw the letter down, and walked out of the room, knowing that this decision could make or break me.
It's in the blood
It's in the blood
I met my love before I was born
She wanted love
I taste of blood
She bit my lip, and drank my warmth
From years before, from years before
Love like winter
Love like winter
Winter
Three four
I walked into the room that I had briefly shared with Randy. He was standing there, wrapped in a towel. I was trying not to let my hormones or my emotions rule what I was feeling. I sighed and realized that I'd left his letter on the bed back in Johnny's room. I sat down on an ottoman that was in front of him.
"I got your letter."
"And?"
"I don't know what to say. The beatings I've taken from you over the course of this past year, has been absolutely hard. Me, thinking that I've done something wrong. But how does a letter make me feel better? You don't know how I feel. You don't ask. You don't know how to emote to people. You wouldn't know how to emote to this wall, if you fucking tried. You couldn't say this shit to my face? Randy, guess what…Johnny saved me. He saved me from the most miserable existence on earth. He saved me from being killed. You keep saying that you didn't 'mean' to hit me. You just wanted to find someone who you could control. Well this minion, can't be controlled. Not anymore. Find a new boy toy, Orton. Because I'm out."
And I stood up. I wasn't going to subject myself to his torture anymore. Nobody should be subjected to his abuses, but someone would willingly enter a relationship with that man, and though they will be warned, by me. I would make sure that they didn't have blinders on when it came to him. I started for the door, when Randy grabbed my arm. He was squeezing it pretty hard, too. It would bruise, that I was certain. He looked me in the eye and with venom in his voice, spoke.
"You walk out that door, don't fucking come back."
"Okay. I won't. Now let me go!"
I said, yanking my arm away from him. I opened the door and stalked out. There was no way in hell I was going to put my life in the hands of someone who was as unstable as Randy. I walked back into Johnny's room and watched as he read the letter. I waited until he got to the end of the letter, and put it down.
"It was the biggest load of shit I'd ever read."
"So you're not going back to him?"
I shook my head, and went to sit next to him on the bed. I took his hand and kissed it softly, knowing that this is where I wanted to be. I put my head on his shoulder and sighed as he put the letter on the bed where I'd left it. I knew that he was scared I was going to leave him, but I wasn't going anywhere.
"I read that. It was in my luggage. I opened it, and read it, and shook my head, because it was the biggest piece of garbage I've ever seen. I had to go and tell him that. I went to tell Randy that you saved me. And you did, Johnny. You saved me. Not only did you save me from a miserable life, but you saved me from a most certain death. So thank you."
I said, kissing him. I finally felt complete. It was like there was something inside of me that just warmed up. It was like I was finally home.
It's in the blood
It's in the blood
I met my love before I was born
He wanted love
I taste of blood
He bit my lip, and drank my warmth
From years before, from years before
From years before
And it felt like things were suddenly in place. Things were the way they should be. Johnny, me and my dog were living in an amazing Palace of Wisdom in Florida. We are far away from Randy, and that's the way it should be. Sure, the physical wounds are healing, but the emotional wounds are long lasting…and that's okay, because at least this time, I've got someone there to help me mend those emotional wounds.
-The end
