A/N: Well, I haven't written a somewhat angsty fic for a while, so I decided to go ahead and make this. This chapter of the fic takes place a year after Goku's death at the Cell Games. The rest of the fic will take place during the Buu saga, but I don't plan on having Buu appear.

My only warning is that the first chapter has suicide in it. If that doesn't bug you, then go ahead and read it. I want to see how many people know what anime I got the idea for this fanfic from. This fic won't even follow that series at all…I just got the shinigami idea from it. ;;

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball Z. Toriyama Akira does. If I owned Dragonball Z, I'd be filthy rich like Toriyama. XD

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Why did this happen? Piccolo thought solemnly as he stared at his young friend's grave. "Why didn't I see how upset he was? Why didn't I make him talk about it!"

"Piccolo…Piccolo, this isn't your fault. It was mine." Chichi sighed as she held her umbrella over her head to shelter herself from the rain. "I SAW how depressed he was, but I still pushed him so hard to fit MY expectations. I was the one who pushed him to this!"

"No. It's Son's fault. If only he had returned to life…!" Piccolo scowled. "YOU HEAR THAT, SON! YOU KILLED HIM!"

"I hate it, Piccolo. Fighting, that is. I hate it! It's..." several tears fell from the woman's eyes, "It's taken away nearly everything that's important to me. Will it take Goten away from me, too?"

Piccolo silently stared at the grave marker. Was it fighting that caused this?

Son Gohan
1995 – 2006
A loving son and friend. Rest in peace.

"No. Fighting's not all to blame. It was me, too." Chichi remembered back to what had started it all.

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"Gohan! Dinner's ready!" Chichi yelled from the kitchen. She was worried about Gohan. Ever since Goku had died, he had been so silent and barely ate anything. She wanted nothing more than to see her son happy again.

Gohan slowly descended down the stairs, his eyes clouded with sorrow and self hatred, downcast. He had been that way since his father died. He was like a complete robot, only responding with a nod, or, if Chichi was lucky, a few words. Where had her happy little baby gone? It almost seemed as though when Goku had died, he took half of Gohan's very soul with him.

The child sat at the table and slowly glanced at the food on his plate. Rice and taiyaki. Those were his favorite foods. His mother obviously was making an attempt at making him eat.

He pushed the plate away. "I'm not hungry."

"GOHAN! YOU HAVEN'T ATE IN DAYS!" She yelled as she grabbed her son's shoulders. "What's wrong, Gohan-chan? You're worrying me. That's not good for your brother, you know." She said as she patted the bump on her stomach.

Gohan's eyes widened, but remained clouded. "Brother? It's my fault my brother won't have a father. I killed father."

"So that's what this is about! Listen, Goku-sa stayed dead for the planet's sake. You should respect his wishes."

"That's what it's always been about, isn't it? Earth. He could care less about me. Food, fighting, planet. Those are his concerns. His only concerns."

Chichi glared at him with anger. "GOHAN-CHAN! Don't talk about your father like that! Go to your room! You better be studyin' when I come in there, too!"

Gohan just stared before slowly going up to his room. She could never understand him, could she? No. No one could. He was alone.

"Goku-sa… Can't you see how much this hurts Gohan-chan and me? I miss you so much. I don't know how much longer I can stand this, Goku-sa…"

Gohan sighed in his room. Oh, he could hear her, alright. He had been the one who hurt her. He killed his father, therefore robbing his brother of a father, and brought sadness upon his mother. Was there anything he could do right?

"I can't live anymore!" He cried. "I can't take this! No on would care if I died, anyway. I'm just a pain to everyone. They'd be happy if I was gone!"

He grabbed a knife from his drawer. It was actually a steak knife, but it was better than nothing. He had bought it secretly when his mother sent him out to buy groceries at the store a few weeks after his father died. He cut himself every now and then, but never thought that it healed his pain. He wouldn't be free until he died.

"Otousan…I'm coming. I'll see you again soon." He whispered as he escaped out of his window.

The child flew over the forest until he found a suitable place where he didn't think anyone would find him. It was a rather secluded spot, covered with trees, therefore making him less visible to someone flying over.

He drew the knife from his knapsack. "I'm ready for this. I need this. I need to be freed from this pain."

Just as he was about to bring the knife down to his wrist, a stick cracked behind him. He quickly put the knife in his bag, hoping that whatever was being him didn't see it.

He looked up to see Piccolo. "Konbanwa, Piccolo-san. I came out to look at the stars." He put on a fake smile, trying to fool Piccolo.

"Are you okay, kid? You look pale." The Namekujin was far from fooled. He and Gohan had a unique bond. He could feel Gohan's emotions just as well as Gohan could feel his. Their bond had been created after years of friendship.

"I'm okay. I just came out here to look at the stars, you know." He lied. He hated lying to Piccolo. Piccolo was his friend, but Piccolo could never understand or accept what he was about to do. Piccolo would try to stop him, no matter what. Guilt. That's what he felt. The guilt from lying to Piccolo just piled up on the rest of the guilt he felt.

"Do you want to spar, kid?" Piccolo suggested. He could tell Gohan was lying, but he could also tell that Gohan was sad somehow. As much as he wanted to help Gohan, he knew that prying would just make the situation worse. Gohan would eventually tell him what was wrong anyway. He always did. He's probably come running to him tomorrow about it. That's what Piccolo tried to tell himself, anyway. Little did he know, he'd greatly regret the decision not to pry in the near future.

"No thanks. I'm too tired. I'm going to be going back to the house now, Piccolo-san. Sayonara!" He called as he ran off.

Piccolo thought that the "sayonara" was strange. Gohan always said, "ja," the more casual version of goodbye that mean that he'd see him soon. Why "sayonara," all of a sudden? It was as if he'd never see him again!

About fifteen minutes later, Piccolo felt Gohan's ki fall to dangerous levels. He paled as goose bumps formed on his green skin. He feared to know what happened, but quickly composed himself and flew in the direction that he felt Gohan's ki last.

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Gohan sadly smiled as he found another secluded spot to complete his suicide at. He felt really bad for lying to Piccolo. That would be the last time he'd see Piccolo until Piccolo died, after all. With life spans like Namekujins have, he had no idea how long that would be. Not to say that he wanted Piccolo to join him in death soon, because he didn't. He wanted Piccolo to live his life to the fullest.

He examined the knife and then his wrist. He was thankful that he had read so much about the human anatomy (which, he knew to be close to saiyajin anatomy). He knew exactly where to cut to hit a major vein, which would kill him without a doubt. He wanted to be sure he would die.

The child reviewed over his life. Yes, he wanted to leave this place. He wanted to be in a warmer place. A warmer place with his father.

Gohan brought the knife down to his wrist and, flinched for a moment, then brought it down into his wrist. He whimpered in pain. It hurt so much. He reminded himself it would only hurt for a while, then he'd be with his father again. This would have a good outcome.

The blood seeped from his wound, dripping off of his arm, some landing on the ground, and some on his clothes. He fell to the ground as more and more of the blood left his body. His vision began to double and gray, as he also felt his hearing, and taste leave him, too. Then there was the numbing feeling. He didn't feel pain anymore. Just numbness.

"GOHAN!" He opened his eyes to see Piccolo standing before him. No. It wasn't supposed to turn out this way. Now he'd have even more guilt on his shoulders for all of eternity. Making Piccolo witness this…

Piccolo ran up, grabbed the child, and cradled the child in his arms. "Gohan, what did you do to yourself? Why? Why did you do this?"

"Lemme die…" He whimpered as the last of his life left him. He fell limp into Piccolo's arms, his breathing ceased. His heart gave one last pump before giving out, too. Son Gohan was dead.

"No! This…. Gohan! WHY?" Piccolo yelled. Then the Namekujin did something that he'd never expect he'd ever do. He cried. The Namekujin cradled his dead student's body in his arms and cried, a few tears falling on to Gohan's cold face.

"I…I…need to take him to his mother. She has to know."

The Namekujin silently flew to Chichi's house, looking down at Gohan every now and then, hoping that by some miracle, the child would wake up and laugh at him for believing he was dead. It never happened. Gohan was still cold, still limp, and was still dead. The part that made Piccolo even sadder was that the child couldn't be revived. Shenron wouldn't revive those who had killed themselves, as the person most likely didn't want to come back, and Shenron didn't see it fit to bring back a person who decided their own fate like that.

Chichi ran out of the house the instant she saw Piccolo. Gohan had been missing for awhile. She was worried sick over him.

"Piccolo! Don't tell me you sparred with him! He's out cold!" Then she noticed the blood. So much blood. Too much for just a spar.

"Chichi…he's….he…he killed himself. He cut his wrist. He's dead, Chichi." Piccolo said solemnly.

"D…e….a…d…?" The woman fainted dead away. This was too much for her.

Piccolo picked her up in his other arm as he shifted Gohan's body to his left arm. He placed Chichi on the sofa in the cozy house, and put Gohan on the floor, making sure to zap new clothing on the body. Chichi wouldn't want to see all that blood. He didn't either. It was a reminder.

Piccolo sighed. This was the beginning of a life without Gohan. Piccolo didn't know if he could live a life like that.

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Where am I?

Gohan opened his eyes to find himself in a gray void. He couldn't see anything but gray. It reminded him of the Room of Spirit and Time, except it was gray instead of white.

"How did I get here?" He asked himself aloud. The last thing he remembered he had…he had…killed himself. Was this heaven? Wasn't Emna supposed to be there to tell him he could be with his father?

"Emna's not here. You don't deserve that." A masculine voice called from behind him. Gohan quickly turned and gasped. The man was tall, and was wearing a black garb, along with a black hood that shrouded his face from view. All Gohan could see was that he had long blond hair, from the stray pieces of hair that poked out from the hood.

"Who are you?" Gohan yelled as he got in a stance, ready to fight off the man if he needed to.

"You, who disrespect life, want so see Emna? You expected to see the dead family members and friends of yours, don't you?" The man's voice was completely emotionless. "You won't find them where you're going."

"Eh…? Am I…going to…hell?" Gohan shuddered. What did he do wrong? He just saved his family and friends the trouble of having him around.

"No. You're going to something much worse." The man grabbed Gohan and pulled him close to him.

"HEY! Let me go! Let me…" Gohan relaxed into the man's arms, as if in a trance.

"I shall banish past memories from you're mind." He said, as he let Gohan go, and Gohan took a step back, still in the trance that he was in before. "Come, Shinigami Yuurei. Come to your never ending punishment."

In a flap of the man's cape, Son Gohan and the man vanished as they went to the Spirit Dimension, a dimension where only Shinigami could go. Those who lived up to their life's expectations went on to heaven, but not Shinigami. People who dared to take their own life weren't so lucky.

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"GOKU!" Kaiosama yelled. "GOKU, THIS IS IMPORTANT!"

"Eh?" Goku stuffed another piece of bread in his mouth. "What could be so important that I have to stop eating?"

"Goku…Gohan commit suicide."

"Suicide? What's that? Is that a kind of food?" Goku asked as he cocked his head. "Wait! I think I heard someone say that if you mix a bunch of drinks together, you get something called suicide..."

"It's NOT A DRINK, you IDIOT! Why do I even put up with you? Sheesh." Kaiosama rolled his eyes. "It means that he killed himself."

"He did WHAT?" Goku gaped. Why would Gohan do something like that?

Kaiosama sighed. He decided against telling Goku what Gohan's ultimate fate from his death for the rest of eternity was. Goku would be more saddened by that. Being a Shinigami wasn't exactly something to be proud of.

Shinigami. Kaiosama remembered the conflict over life and death back when the universe was first created. The kai-tachi all argued over what should become of mortals. Some said that they should have eternal life, but other argued that people had to die, because it was a part of their existence. Eventually, the argument of death won over immortality, but then there was a problem. How would souls get to heaven? Some kind of spirit would have to come down, take their soul, and carry it to heaven. These spirits were then named Shinigami. Because being a Shinigami was a horrible experience, it was decided that those who foolishly throw their lives away by suicide would become Shinigami and remain Shinigami for all of eternity.

All Shinigami were once alive, but they don't have any memories from their lives. They can't be connected to the mortal world or else they wouldn't be able to complete their jobs. Ifa Shinigami were to remember his or her life, he or she would become a ghost. Ghosts were poor spirits that roamed aimlessly around the universe with no one to talk to, and no one who could see them.

Kaiosama knew that there was nothing he or anybody could do to save Gohan from the fate that had befouled him. By new, Gohan probably had no recollection of ever being called Gohan. He had probably became a completely different person by now.

"Kaiosama?" Goku asked. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah. I was just thinking. Nothing to worry about, Goku." The kaio adjusted his glasses. "It's you I'm worried about. You're son just died! You must feel terrible…!"

"We can always bring him back with the Dragonballs, so it's no problem." Goku smiled.

"No...you can't'."

"What?" Goku said with wide eyes.

"You can't bring back a person who killed themselves, Goku. I'm sorry. Shenron wouldn't allow someone who did that to return."

"No…no…way…" Goku visibly saddened. "Then, I'll see him here, right? He should be at the check-in station any moment now."

"No. People who kill themselves have a completely different dimension for themselves. I'm sorry, Goku. You'll never see Gohan again. Ever."

Goku's eyes looked glossy as he fell to his knees. It wasn't right. Gohan was so young. He had so much to live for. Gohan should have been able to get married, and bless Goku with grandchildren. Gohan was supposed to grow old, and watch his own children and grandchildren. He wasn't supposed to die! Goku couldn't take it. He broke down and cried.

Kaiosama looked down at Goku's. He had never seen Goku cry. Goku was the kind of guy who didn't let anything get him down. This though…this was his son that died. Kaiosama didn't even want to imagine how much that hurt.

"Kaiosama…is he…in pain? Are they torturing him in this other dimension?" Goku whipped away a few tears.

Kaiosama wasn't going to tell Goku that Gohan was now fated to be a Shinigami, but he couldn't lie about the whole story.

"No. He's not in pain." Kaiosama took in a breath. "He doesn't even remember anything that happened in his life, Goku. He's a clean slate. Other than that, I don't know what's going on with him. I'm not allowed into the Spirit World, and neither are you.

Goku looked down. So Gohan didn't even remember him, huh? It was probably for the best. Gohan had always worried about him so much. He took after his mother.

"CHICHI! Oh gosh! I have to be there for her, Kaiosama! She's alone! She needs me! Please, let me be wished back to life!"

Kaiosama almost wanted to yell at Goku. If Goku would have came back before now, Gohan might now be dead. No use worrying about the past though.

I'll inform Dende and the Namekujins. The Earth dragonballs aren't recharged yet, so the Namekujins will have to wish you back.

"Okay." Goku sighed, thinking about his son. What had led to this…?

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A/N: There's the first chapter. Another clue as to what anime I got the idea from is this:

The manga was just licensed in the United States a few months ago and there are several volumes out. The anime has yet to be licensed and dubbed (which, might I add, I'm dreading when it's dubbed. Mostly because I don't know how their going to deal with the music in the series. I would die if they had someone like Hillary Duff sing the songs. pukes

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