Entry 1: The beginning


Dear Diary,

I know what you're thinking, Eric Cartmen is way too cool to have a diary, but I'm going to start to do something that is so cool, that I need to write it down. It was my 17th birthday yesterday, and my mother, that bitch, she gave me the best birthday present in the world! She let me have se- she let me fuck her, well, just her mouth, but that's a far as I've ever gotten.

I know, I know, you may be thinking that, that's gross right? Well, I don't think that it is. She's just a bitch, just like every other bitch out there.

Fucking my mother's mouth was wonderful. It was 10 times better than using my hand. Let me tell you all about it, I am going to include details, so that it's like you're there:

"Fucking faggot!" I yelled as I threw the game system that kyle got me for my birthday out of the window. How dare he get me a xbox when he knew I switched over to a playstation. I can't wait to see him tomorrow, I'm going to fart in his face!

"Sweetie" I hear my mother call from the door way. I groan and turn towards the door where she is standing. "Did you have a good birthday this year?" She asked in that sickly sweet voice. UGH. Such a bitch.

I couldn't help but glare at her. "It would have been better if you'd got me a fucking car" I yell at her.

She looks apologetic before speaking. "Eric, sweetie, I couldn't afford to get you your own car this year. Perhaps next year-" She explains.

"That's what you said last year!" I yelled at her.

"Oh dear" she states looking disappointed. "Eric, I-"

"GET OUT!" I yell at her.

She ignored my outburst, just like she did when I was a kid. "I- is there something else you'd like for your birthday, something a little less...expensive...I just, want you to feel special on your special day"

"OUT!"

"I just want to do something-" She starts explaining again.

I'm frustrated that she hasn't left yet. What is she still doing here? Don't she have something better to do at the moment. "Suck my dick Mom" I tell her as an insult. I glare at her, waiting to see the look of hurt cross her face, but it doesn't show.

"Is that what you want?" She questions.

I can't help but stare at her with my mouth wide open. I tell people to suck my dick all the time. I tell Kyle that, I tell Kenny that, I tell Butter's that, I tell everyone that, but they all just get angry. 'What should I do' I wonder. I'm lost for words right now. Apparently my mother takes my shock as a sign that she should enter my room because she walks over to me and kneels between my legs.

'What The Actual Fuck' I think to myself. My eyes go wide, this reminds me of those porno movies where the guy fucks the old lady. I stop breathing momentarily when my mother places her hand on the inside of my thigh.

"Eric" She calls out to me. "Are you okay with this, do you want this, do you want me to suck your dick?" She questions.

I look up from her to think. I feel myself becoming excited in ways I have never before. Sure, I've jerked off before. Plenty of times, when I was bored and there was nothing else better to do. But this is different. Now...I feel myself getting hard, and I want to stick my dick into something. Something, warm, something...wet. I swallow, I shouldn't do this? I think, but then I think...why the hell not. I've heard the rumors about my mother, almost everyone in this town has been with her. She's a ho. Just like every other bitch out there. I look back down at her and my cock in my pants twitch, telling me what I should do.

"What the fuck are you waiting for?" I question her rudely.

She nods and looks eager. She's guilty about not getting me a car this year. She lifts up my shirt to access my belt buckle. She doesn't say anything. She looks focused. Soon, it's opened and she unbuttons my pants quickly pulling them along with my boxers around my thighs.

I feel my face heat up as the weight of what's happening come crashing down. My mother's on her knees in front of me, while my pants are pulled down. I'm exposed in front of my mother. But all of that goes away quickly, when I feel her tighten her fist around my cock. She doesn't say anything but stroke it a couple of times, it gets harder and harder, and I can't help the moan that escapes me. It feels so much better that what I do to myself. I'll have to get her to do this more often.

That feeling is nothing compared to how it felt when she took that first lick at the head of my cock. I felt my precum spilling out as she stroked me, but now it's all gone, and replaced with a cool breeze where she licked me at. She opens her mouth and lowers it down on my cock, just far enough to cover the head. I feel her tongue working at the base, it's flicking while she's sucking. My whole cock isn't even in her mouth yet, and already this feels so good.

I can't believe I've missed this. No one's told me about this, how fucking good it feels. I find myself pushing up into her mouth. I close my eyes because I don't want to see her. I just want to feel, her mouth around my cock. Sucking me. Tasting me.

I feel her take more of me in her mouth. I groan. It's good, finally she's giving me what I want. I open my eyes and is shocked, I don't recall putting my hands in her hair. But there it is. My hand is almost as big as her head. I grab unto her ponytail tightly and she whimpers. I find that I like that, there was a vibration her voice caused. I pull her head up roughly. She whimpers once more.

It feels so fucking good. Now I understand what bitches are for. I thought they were just annoying and had no purpose, like roaches. But no, this is good, it's amazing. Never again will I ever tell Kyle, Kenny, Butters, or any other male to suck my cock. Only bitches. I look down at my mother, she's looking up at me. I can't help the glare I send her way as I take her head and push it down on my cock hard. Her eyes widen and she gags.

I feel a pressure building up in me, and I know that it won't be long now. I start thrusting up as I push my Moms- the bitch's head down. She's moaning more now, I'm grunting. I'm pretty sure I'm sweeting. I haven't showered in a week, and she's basically licking my sweaty balls. Take that bitch! I groan, shoving my cock in her mouth repeatedly.

The pressure has built greatly and I now I'm moments away from cumming. I thrust up a couple of times before simply holding my mother's head down in my lap, I'm feel my seed shooting from me into her mouth. I can't help but think how fucking hot that thought, alone is. I grunt a couple of times, I ignore the gagging noises my mother makes, my sperm is coming out in spirts. Soon I'm all done and I just sit there for a moment, I feel myself go soft in her mouth then I let her go.

She jumps up, at first avoiding eye contact with me. She coughs a couple of times. I shot my load deep down her throat, she swallowed most of my seed, there's a little bit on the side of her face. That excites me all over again.

"I'm glad I could...make it up to you sweetie" My mother says, finally looking back at me. Her voice sounds like she's been screaming all day.

I quickly pull my pants up, I'm done with her. "Yeah, yeah Mom" I state dismissing her.

"I'm going to make dinner" She announces, then turns and walks out shutting my door behind her.


So, diary, that's how that happened. That's how I fucked my mother's mouth. It was awesome. I know that you are wondering what I'm going to do next huh? Well, tomorrows school, I'm going to go and find a bitch to fuck. Then the next day, another bitch, then another, and another...

I guess I'm following in my mother's foot steps huh? She's a ho...but I'm not a ho, guys can't be "ho's" When a girl fucks a lot of guys, she's a ho, when a guy fucks a lot of ho's, he's cool, he's a player.


A/N: Should I continue? If so, who should Eric Cartmen fuck next?