Admitting Is The First Step
Disclaimer: CBS owns Criminal Minds.
Summary: Can an argument between two people lead to self discovery and decisions...
A/N: This popped into my head after some thought I decided to go ahead with it. I hope you all enjoy this. It's slightly "M" and will be an unrelated two shot.
Thanks for reading and remember that reviews are welcomed too.
Elizabeth Kenny said, "He who angers you conquers you."
Who would have thought that an argument would have ensued over a simple question? Not either of the two dark-haired agents who were having a heated discussion in the conference room.
And when the woman in that equation storm out on to the catwalk, she cursed him in Italian and that made the unflappable Dave take notice from his spot in his office.
Hotch marched over to his office, not bothering to look at the stunned agent he nearly plowed on his way to gather his belongings.
The brunette quickly got her bearings and swiftly left the BAU as his words replayed in her mind.
'What do you know about relationships anyways?' he told her, 'Outside of the one you had that was a part of your undercover mission you've been single since you joined the team.'
Never one to vent her anger, but when she told Hotch that if he wanted to screw a total stranger who was basically a rebound woman from his marriage, that was fine with her. But don't ask for her for advice, if he's not going to like the answers.
Hotch watched her as she stomped down the stairwell with her words resonating in his memory and he knew she was right.
He was basically dating a stranger and it was showing. They had nothing in common and were already drifting towards breaking up and they were just waiting for the other to make the first move.
And he had no idea why he was snapping at Emily. It wasn't like they weren't friends and had the occasional fight but this was different. She was different.
If any of his other friends told him what Emily had, he would have relented for a while before he agreed after some reluctance then accepted the advice.
"So why was he having a hard time accepting it from Emily?" he murmured to himself as he got into his car.
The sound of his cell phone ringing made him pull over his car and stop. Looking down at it, he sighed, it was her.
"Hello" he said mundanely.
"We need to talk" she told him quickly.
"Yes we do" he replied quickly, his mind still going over the argument and the unsettling way he took a jab at Emily's dating status.
Hotch sat in his car not even surprised by the last twenty minutes, that played out in his mind.
He was just dumped, and he honestly didn't even care.
After the brunette curator uttered those words, his mind tuned her out, and her need to explain why she wanted to end things.
All he did was robotically nod his head in agreement until he heard her last sentence.
'So you agree with me, right?' Beth said, pouting her overly glossed lips, 'That you're at fault for this.'
'What?' he asked, trying to focus on his now ex girlfriend, 'My fault?'
'Yes,' Beth sighed, 'Look Hotchner...'
Hotch mentally cringed at that, he never realized, until now, just how annoying it was to be called by his last name, and that made him pause.
He always called his team, except for Dave and JJ, by there last names, Garcia seemed to like it. Reid and Morgan didn't seem to mind, but Emily?
'Are you even paying attention, Hotchner?' Beth asked annoyed, 'Hotchner?'
'Can you please just shut up?' Hotch snapped, 'My God do you ever shut up and listen to yourself?'
'Excuse me?' she asked, stunned that he spoke to her like that.
'You are the most self-centered, self-absorbed person I've ever came across,' Hotch told her, 'And I deal with the worst of the worst daily.'
'How dare you speak to me like that,' Beth shrieked, 'Get out! Get out of my life, I can't stand you.'
'Well that makes two of us,' Hotch muttered stalking for the door.
'Enjoy your single life, Hotchner' Beth shouted, 'Because there is no one and I mean no one who will put up with your shit!'
Hotch sat in his car stunned, he never knew just how selfish Beth was until now.
Maybe it was that he'd been out of the dating world for nearly twenty years or it could be that she was the first woman to pay attention to him in such a long time, but he didn't want to be alone anymore.
But he also didn't want to be with a woman like Beth, who made everything about her. He never thought anyone could be so horrific.
As he turned the ignition to his car, one face popped into his mind. She wasn't selfish, in fact she was selfless, always putting others first.
Oh sure she had a temper that rivaled his own. And he did the unthinkable and called her out on commenting about his relationship.
All because... why? He pondered that, as he came to a stop and turned off his car. Resting his head against the steering wheel he thought over their interactions since her return.
Of course she'd been closed off about her personal life, she always was private about herself. But she was so receptive and caring when it came to the others about their own issues.
She went above and beyond for him with Jack about being bullied, and there was the fact you became Dave's ear with the tragedy of Carolyn. He was pretty sure she was JJ's shoulder with her issues with Will.
He smiled when he remembered the way she asked if he ordered her to get recertified, only to tell her no.
Her look at Morgan said it all, he wanted to prove to her that she could trust them and that they'd always have her back.
He knew it was Reid that took the most convincing, and it hurt his heart that the younger agent still felt mistrustful since Gideon's unexpected departure. But he could see that Reid was at ease, especially during his surprise party, that he was just happy to have her back.
Now that he thought about it, she was always the center of their team, whether any of them were aware of it or not.
Emily was the glue that held them together and it nearly broke their team apart when she was gone.
And as closed off with her personal life as she was, she'd always be there for each of them. And as he thought about it, he knew why he didn't turn to Dave this last time for advice in his relationship because he wanted the truth.
When he first approached the older man about Beth, he knew that Dave would tell him to go for it, and that the man just wanted to see him happy and he thought he was.
If he had approached Emily instead for advice, she too probably would've told him to go for it, but she would also most likely give him some advice, assuring him that if this was what he really wanted. And now he knew, it wasn't.
Oh sure, Beth was a pretty woman, and had been straight forward with her approaching him, which was nice for a change.
And her help with his training for the triathlon had been wonderful, but... she wasn't what he really wanted.
As partial to blondes as Hotch had always been, it surprised him that he agreed to go out with a brunette. Her laugh, her oddball sense of humor and that dark head of hair...
"Took you long enough to figure it out," Dave surmised, leaning against the car he turned his head to look at the younger man, "How goes things in Beth-ville?"
Hotch narrowed his eyes, "I thought you wanted me to go out with her?"
"I wanted you to be happy and you seemed happy when you told me about how she picked you up" Dave said snorting, "Business cards, really?"
"Dave, I don't want to think about it," Hotch said, "I already screwed up twice in one day..."
"Yeah, I've never heard Emily curse in Italian before," Dave chuckled, "Good thing that no one else on the BAU floor knew what she was saying."
"What exactly did she call me?" Hotch asked, feeling guilty for his treatment of the brunette.
"I'd rather not repeat it," Dave replied, "So how long have you had feelings for her?"
"I don't have feelings for Prentiss," Hotch proclaimed, "I don't know what you're talking about."
Dave just turned fully to give his friend a look, "Who said anything about Emily? But you just failed my test."
Hotch groaned, "Dave."
"You've got feelings for me too?" he teased, "Look you screwed up royally pal. We all heard what you told her, and you're really lucky that JJ and Garcia weren't there because both of those women scare me when they're pissed off and they'd head straight for your boys."
"What do I do?" Hotch asked, "I messed up big time."
"You're an alpha male," Dave reminded him, "Go over there apologize until she forgives you. Don't take no for an answer."
Hotch turned the ignition, he felt renewed conviction, be honest with her and apologize, "Thanks."
"Word of advice, Aaron? Run if she pulls out a shotgun," Dave told him, "Because she's a hell of a marksman."
Hotch took off from the BAU parking lot with a single thought on his mind, Emily.
"Who the hell does he think he is?" Emily grumbled, moving about her apartment, "He thinks he's so smart? Ha."
She was beyond angry at the man, and her anger was manifesting into her O.C.D. kicking in and she started to clean her apartment from top to bottom. From her bedroom to all the way down to her living room.
Unable to stand the sound of silence anymore she turned her radio on as she made her way to her kitchen.
Going through her cabinet, tossing out old food, she wrinkled her nose at the multiple bags of chips she had, not knowing which ones where the freshest so she threw them away too before heading towards her refrigerator.
So distracted by the sound of the music playing she missed the knock on her front door and kept her mind focused on her tasks.
As she leaned forward reaching in, wondering why the hell she hadn't cleaned in here earlier she felt a hand touch her back making her freeze and clench her fist in fear.
Closing her eyes she swung wildly and clocked the intruder in the jaw only hearing a thud and a recognizable groan as she opened her eyes.
"Don't be shy," Hotch mumbled rubbing his jaw, "Tell me how you really feel."
"Hotch?" she said, taking a deep breath, "What the hell do you think you're doing in my apartment?"
He straightened himself up, "Well after knocking for about ten minutes I heard music, just wanted to make sure you were ok."
Raising an eyebrow, she folded her arms across her chest, "And you thought what? You'd come here to give me more shit about your relationship? Or make more wise ass remarks about my lack of one, hmm?"
"I came to apologize," he admitted full of regret, "I'm sorry for saying that. I wanted your honest opinion and I should have handled that better."
He saw her relax at that, "And to tell you, that you were right about Beth. We just broke up."
He saw a flash of sympathy, it was now or never he told himself but before he could speak she cut him off.
"I didn't want to be right about it. I just wanted you to be happy," she told him, "Don't worry Hotch, when you find the perfect woman, you'll know it. And I promise I'll keep my opinion to myself."
He took a deep breath, "Emily..."
Her confused eyes met his determined ones. Without a second thought he grabbed her running his hands through her dark hair as he pulled her into a kiss while his free hand move to her hip keeping her close to him.
A dark thrill raced through him when she didn't shove him away but pulled him in more, as her tongue battled for control against his own.
Moving his hand from her hair, he grabbed her legs picking her up and carrying her across the room, "Emily?"
She pulled back from his face, her dark eyes meeting his and she knew he was asking for permission, "Yes."
He placed the brunette down on the bed, and couldn't tear his eyes away from her as he quickly ripped off his shirt and shucked himself free of his pants standing before her in only his boxers.
His hands went to the dark red tank top she wore, and saw her nod her approval, swiftly removing it from her. He gazed down at the perfection before him and felt himself grow even harder at the silk black bra encased breasts.
"God, you're beautiful" he murmured, as his hands tenderly cupped her chest while she gave him a grin and freed herself from the confines.
His eyes were focused on her upper half of the body that he didn't noticed she removed the rest of her clothes before she cupped him through his boxers. He thrusted forward as she moved her hand up and down on him.
"You like?" she whispered into his ear making the man growl and let his inner alpha take over.
He grabbed her arm away from him, "I think I'll take the lead here."
He quickly released himself from the boxers and thrust into the brunette making her moan in pleasure as she arched forward.
As he thrust in and out, he felt the sensation that this was how it was always meant to be. Her and him.
Hotch's hand slithered between their connected bodies, finding her bundle of nerve causing her to gasp and wrap her arms around his neck pulling him in deeper and harder with each thrust.
As she fell over the edge, she felt Hotch move harder and faster before he too fell over the edge. Hotch took a deep breath, collapsing on Emily before rolling off her and pulling her close to him.
"Wow" he heard Emily said, as Hotch's warm hand ran up and down her back, "That was amazing."
Hotch chuckled, "I think you're the one who is amazing."
Emily smiled resting her head on his chest, hearing his fast racing heart, "Well you're not half bad yourself."
Dropping a kiss to her head, he pulled her close, "Emily, I really am sorry about how I was before."
"I know" she told him, looking up at his frowning face, "You always hold everything in Hotch, you don't have to with me or anyone. We all care about you, and just want you to be happy."
A smile graced his face, and she reached up to touch his dimpling cheek causing him to take her hand and kiss it, "What would really make me happy is if you and I can start something. Be together, I think it's always been you."
She leaned up, kissing his lips, "I'd like that, Aaron."
His heart was beating faster, hearing her call him by his first name as she entwined their fingers on his chest.
Pulling her close, he knew that sometimes bad days get better, and for them, this was the start of a lot more better days.
"There is nothing more galling to angry people then the coolness of those whom they wish to vent their spleen." Alexander Dumas
Until Next Time...
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