Devil's Little Face
Chapter I.
He sat in his favorite armchair in the drawing room of his nice house he built himself for them after the wedding. He looked at the flames in the fireplace, but did not see them, he was so lost in his thoughts. He was squeezing a half full wine glass in his right hand but did not take a single sip of it. No one else was here with him in the salon, his sweet dear wife was in their bedroom, with the midwife. She was giving birth to their firstborn. It was the cold damp and foggy night of 1st November, rain was rhythmically knocking on the window. How nice is it to finally have a window on his home… his perfect home…
They have been married for 4 years now, something he could have never dreamed of. He should be happy, he really should be. His living wife seems to love him, especially in the last two and a half years, they took nice walks in the park on Sundays, he built a beautiful home and invented a new mask that covered his deformity and made him look like anybody else, just as he saw in his dreams. He was in a much better health than in that damp cellar and everything should have been fine.
Of course, this marriage had its downs as well, as anything on this Earth, especially at the beginning. Oh no, not because of Christine, dear. She was such a sweet girl. She tried her best to look at Erik as anyone normal looking. It was he, the problem. He was surprised she did not leave him the first few months after the wedding. Erik was so unstable at the beginning, he did not believe Christine really wanted to stay with him and tried to force her to leave him alone, to go back to the Viscount, he was cold and did not let her touch him or go near him for a time… then he was jealous, he threw temper tantrums, jealousy fits and he constantly had nightmares in the first few months.
Christine, however was so dear to him, she was comforting and loyal. She took his hand and talked soothing to him, and sympathetically rubbed his shoulder to make him relax a bit. Erik did not believe a woman can act with so much love for him. After his mother's coldness, he did not dare to hope someone could look past his face and be gentle and kind to him. Christine slowly got used to him within time and she did not even ask him to wear the mask at home any more.
After the kiss on the forehead, she sometimes could see past Erik's deformed face. The best way for this was to concentrate on only his voice. It was easier than she thought. Erik wasn't that a terrible man to be with as Christine imagined in those desperate days. Of course, Erik wasn't all wicked. He had his good side in him, he was caring, thoughtful, passionate (a bit much passionate sometimes…) and polite. After she showed the first sign of her love that wasn't based on pity or fear, he changed. She didn't believe he could, but he did change to the better, just as he promised her in that miserable and desperate moment when he tried to convince and force her into marriage. His temper tantrums reduced and finally, after a time, disappeared. He calmed down and became less likely to be jealous. He remained Erik, for sure, hot headed, sarcastic and he liked if he controlled the happenings, but he slowly got calmer and calmer within time.
Erik, he was ashamed to admit, but was really happy not to hear from de Chagny any more after Christine has returned to him and stated she will never ever leave his side. He did not know what has happened between Christine and Raoul after she left with the young man, but when she returned alone to the house by the lake, her eyes were red from crying, and she did not want to talk about the happenings between them, she only said they had a nasty quarrel that ended with a break up. De Chagny never tried to write to Christine any more, nor did he want to talk and he did not visit the Opera any more.
What was the matter then? The child. That little monster. It came to their lives as a thunder from the bright skies. The first warning sign was Christine's sudden intense love for lemonade. Oddly, she did not want to drink anything else. She explained that she desired sour flavor more for some reason. She did not want to have any kind of alcohol, even though she would enjoy a glass of good wine before, from time to time, just as Erik did. She said she did not like its taste any more. Then her stomach that bothered her, especially in the morning…, her sudden sickness for certain smells… And finally, on a nice Sunday stroll on a beautiful sunny April day she turned to Erik and asked:
- Erik, do you like children?
- If they are well – behaved and quiet, then I guess, I do. – he answered after a bit of pause.
- And babies? – she continued.
- Not really. – Erik admitted. – They are far too noisy and messy for Erik's taste.
- Have you ever dreamed of having a family? – his dear wife pushed on the subject.
- Christine, his dear Christine is Erik's family. – he answered with passion, kissing her hand.
- And… don't you want a child, Erik? A child of your own…?
- Why should I want one? I have everything I need, and a child was never in my plans. – he laughed shortly and shrugged.
- Every family has at least one child, Erik.
- Well, our family shall not. – Erik tried to close the subject, but Christine softly said:
- But yes, Erik, it will… I am expecting it in the end of October.
- What….? – Erik swallowed. He suddenly felt his cravat was too tight…
- I am pregnant, Erik! We will be happy parents in a few months!
He did not remember anything else for a time. In five seconds or less, the world seemed to turn grayish, he felt dizzy and cold sweat was running down his face, his stomach turned, a shiver ran down on his spine and his hands were trembling… He had been told later, when he opened his eyes in his bed that he had fainted at the park and was carried home. The shock was too big for him to stay on his feet any longer. As he woke up and regained his consciousness, he believed it was just a nightmare, a hallucination. But he had to accept the fact that yes, it is indeed reality.
He disliked children. He did not have any good memories of children. They always made fun of him, mocked him, threw stones at him on the streets. And a baby in his perfect home…? Babies are awful. They cry all day, they spill everything, destroy everything when they learn to walk. It takes years to train them not to do their business in their pants. They smell. They meddle in things they should not even touch. He thought he was too old for this.
And of course, this wasn't all that worried Erik. From the first day of he acknowledged the child's existence and could see the thing growing inside Christine, he feared the moment he will see the child's features the first time. What if the child inherits his deformity? Will Christine and Erik himself, be able to love it as it is, if it does? He had terrible nightmares of holding a little monster with a skull face in his arms, and always woke up gasping and bathing in his sweat. Looking at his wife sleeping peacefully beside him helped a bit, her features were so calm and beautiful that he loved just looking at her silently. But the awful thought was always in his mind and he could not get free from the fear and worry deep down his heart.
Christine, on the other hand, was all happy about her pregnancy and was constantly talking about the baby to Erik, who tried to force an honest smile on his face, but he could have hit his head against the wall. She talked to the thing, sang lullabies to it, was working on crib sheet and small shoes and clothes for the newborn. They were so nicely embroidered with floral pattern, and some music notes, treble clef, bass clef and one of the small shirts had "Ange de Musique" written on the back in red. Christine showed the small clothes to Erik, and smiled widely.
- What do you think, Erik dear? – She asked excitedly. – Aren't they sweet? Just imagine our child in these!
That was the first time Erik worded his fear, nearly all against his will. As he looked at the happy mother to be, excitedly showing him the baby's wardrobe, and he softly and bitterly remarked:
- Don't forget to make a mask, my dear, maybe we are going to need it.
There was an uncomfortable silence between the couple for a few seconds, and before Christine could open her mouth to assure him of her love and calm him, he already fled out of the room and locked himself inside his study. Christine tried to follow him, but upon realizing the door was closed, she sighed and walked back to continue knitting the shoes. It was better to leave Erik work his anger or frustration out, and wait for him to settle his emotions in his own pace then forcing him to talk about his problems. He would not say more anyway, just sit there in silence that is more terrifying than his tantrums. A few hours later Erik returned with a sheet of blueprint.
- Erik is sorry about leaving his dear Christine here alone for the afternoon. He has been designing the child's room. – He stated calmly as nothing have happened before. This was the first time he mentioned the child himself, till this very moment he only listened what Christine had to say about it. – He'd better start to work on it, we don't have much time left. – He added a bit ominously.
He buried himself in his work in those next weeks, getting all he needed and then to work on the addition to the house. He worked alone, even though he could have found help if he really wanted to. Christine often worried about her husband who did not get a moment of rest from work, during the day he worked as a contractor to put bread on the table, and when he got home, he was working on the nursery, and only stopped to use the bathroom. He did not eat much, just stuffed some bread in his mouth from time to time, he only had a bottle of water with him to drink even though it was really hot in the summer, and what made Christine worry the most, he did not get much sleep. He fled to work from his thoughts, and he only concentrated on the nursery being the nicest one in the whole world.
- Erik dear… the baby only comes in the autumn. – Christine stepped behind Erik's back. – You should rest more…
- Oh no, no, no, my Christine, my sweet girl. – Erik let out a small laugh and just continued to put the bricks- Erik is all right, you should not worry about him. He will finish this beautiful room for the baby, as our child only deserves the best. Just as you do, my dear.
While Erik put all his energy into creating the nicest room for the child, Christine felt useless. She had nothing to do all day since she was on maternity leave. She was determined to sing in the Opera until it was possible, but on a performance of Faust, she could not go onstage because of her pain. She was shocked something has happened to the baby. The doctor examined her and stated she must stay at home, taking good care of herself as she would lose the baby if she continues to work. Erik, of course, was all worried about his wife and in his mind, he blamed the unborn for Christine's change in health. He had more and more things to do at home as he did not let Christine to bend or reach out too high. He was ashamed to admit, but he often thought about it would have been better for everyone if Christine lost the child that night at the Opera. Women are very likely to die of childbirth… Christine was such a fragile little girl, is she even strong enough to give birth to a child…?
In early September, the room was done, it was rather big and light with huge windows that let much light in, with light brown wooden floor, stucco on the ceiling, and the walls painted to a sunny yellow color by waist height, and covered in wood lower. The wood on the wall was painted white. He tried to use colors suitable for both genders, even though he would have chosen darker colors if he made the room for himself. But he had to admit the room looked very nice with happy rays of sunshine lighting it. For a split second he imagined a cute little toddler, blond haired and blue – eyed like Christine, sitting on the floor playing with blocks and he suddenly had to smile. This was the first time he pictured the child as beautiful as anyone else. Who knows…? Maybe it can happen.
A week later the nursery was filled with the nicest furniture possible, all in harmony with the colors of the room, and many toys. Even a music box was placed on the small table beside the crib. It was made by Erik, on top of it was a mother figure cradling a baby, very nicely detailed, and played a 32 measure - long lullaby in F major, composed by Erik, just for the child.
Heavy steps startled him from his musings about the past few months. The midwife walked towards the main bathroom. Erik jumped up from his chair and stormed out of the drawing room:
- How is my wife? Is she all right? Is the kid… healthy? Boy or girl? – he asked all of this with one breath.
- Calm down, M'sieur, we haven't e'en started yet.
- Then what on Earth are you doing here?
- I need towels an' water, M'sieur. Soon the dance begins.
- Begins? – Erik gasped. – What have you done until now, then?
- We can't hurry nature, M'sieur, please be calm. The child ain't comin' out until it is time for it. You not telling 'em when.
- His father's kid. – Erik murmured under his breath. – It wasn't even born and it already drives me crazy. – he sighed and dragged himself back to the drawing room and collapsed in the armchair.
Soon Christine's cries echoed through the rooms and Erik jumped up nervously. What on Earth is happening…? He had heard that giving birth was painful, but Christine sounded like she was being tortured. His ears could not bear it, and the drawing room suddenly felt too small… there is so foul air in here… fresh air… he needed it. He ran to the window and opened it, leaning out and took a few deep breaths. Cool and fresh air calmed him down a bit. He looked at his pocket watch. It was half past ten.
Christine's cries continued, but after some time that felt like an eternity, her voice changed. She did not cry out with so much pain as before, her tone was more like loud moans and nice musical notes. Erik suddenly got inspired, he ran to his study and returned with some music sheets. He did not want to lock in his study, as he did not know when he will be needed, he had to think of Christine. And to be honest he heard the sounds better here. He knelt down to the coffee table and wrote every sound he got. This will be a beautiful composition… His left hand was sliding on the music lines, note by note and he had to admit, Christine had an awesome and stunning performance. She reached to high F sometimes… such a pity no one musically educated could hear it. She included very impressive jumps and glissandos in her aria.
And then… it became a duet for a few seconds, such a pity Christine was out so quickly after secondo entered the music in the middle of a measure. Secondo now became primo. It will become an opera singer. It has strong lungs.
- It cries in G major. – Erik remarked to himself and nodded. The kid really sounded like strong and capable of life.
But then he heard something else as well. A gasp. And then another cry. It was not Christine, neither the child. It was the midwife who cried out. The tone of her deep voice gave away horror and disbelief.
Something broke and one could hear splash of water. The washbowl, for sure…
The midwife stormed out of the bedroom when Erik stepped out of the drawing room to the hallway. She did not slow down, just gasped towards Erik as she passed him:
- Lord have mercy…
Erik went back to the drawing room and broke out in a painful sob as he fell on his knees in front of the fireplace.
He did not even take a look at the child yet, but he already knew what that awful gasp did mean.
