Bizarre Billion Bean Blizzard

By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.

Based loosely on "Billion Bean Stampede" in Disney's Ducktales

#13. That was a funny, silly story….that didn't make much sense.

One hot day in September, Magica made an attempt to rob the Bin

of the Dime. And got, as usual, nowhere.

"I'll find something that will get me that Dime!" she vowed as

she flew off on her broomstick.

"There's bupkus that will get my Dime!" Scrooge replied.

This gave Magica an idea. Bupkus is used to mean "nothing",

but it literally means "beans". So Magica figured if Scroogie

wanted beans, she'd give him a billion beans. That many jumping

beans, jumping around would distract Scroogie long enough

for her to swipe the Dime.

So, later that HOT day, Magica returned to the Bin and magicked

up a billion jumping beans. The hot weather made them frisky

and they jumped against the Bin, jumped against Giz.

"What the?" Giz asked.

Giz tried to swat the beans, they jumped mindlessly around, pressing

his buttons. Until Giz had to flee lest they press the WRONG button.

Fenton soon came out with a freezing wand invented by 3 guesses who.

The wand created a beam of cold, good for making ice cubes. Fenton

aimed it at the beans, which froze them, stopping them. But only the

few beans he aimed it at.

There were so many beans, stopping a few didn't help.

So Fenton aimed it at a passing cloud which actually dropped a 3 flake

"blizzard" before it got too hot and the effect wore off.

But soon, Launchpad, me, the boys and Mr. McDuck were aiming

freeze wands at the beans.

Launchpad thought of bagging the beans, and tying the bag and THEN

freezing the whole bag.

But the bag was too big and only some of the beans froze, the rest

were still bouncing. They tripped Launchpad. He fell, right on the bag.

And bounced around awhile till his weight slowed it down enough

for him to freeze the whole bag.

Everybody tried bagging the beans before freezing them. Mr. McDuck

jumped on a frisky bag. I feared he was too light to weigh the bag down.

But his money belt helped.

This gave me an idea. I put some rocks in a bag before filling it with

beans, tied the bag and froze the bag. This worked even better than

I hoped. The rocks helped freeze the bag, helped keep it cold.

Soon, everybody was copying my idea.

But then, the Beagles tried to rob the Bin. Just as Magica showed

up.

"I'll help you get the Money if you let me keep the Dime! I only

want the Dime!" Magica offered.

"Why should we give you anything, lady?" Bossy Beagle

asked. (1)

Magica realized these were a bunch of Beagles who didn't know her.

Magica sicced the loose beans at the Beagles. The Beagles got mad, and

waded thur the beans to get to her. Magica was angry at these attempts

to hurt her and directly the mindless beans to stop them.

Meanwhile, it was later in day and the hottest part of the day. The

beans had been bouncing around awhile. Finally, between the heat

and all their exertions, they ran out of energy. The beans, fell, still

and lifeless.

About then, the cops showed up. The Beagles fled. Magica saw

the beans were inert and gave up. Magica flew home.

Mr. McDuck had the beans carted off, taken to be freeze-dried and

turned into pig food.

And this unplanned publicity stunt had the freeze wands flying

off the store shelves.

The End.

(1) I made him up. He's the boss of a bunch of Beagles that DON'T

know Magica.