- What's so fucking great about you?!

- Ki-Kishinuma-kun! Yoshiki! Calm down, please! - Satoshi wasn't so worried about himself as he was for his friend having a total breakdown. Not that he could blame him either.

Yoshiki stank of alcohol and one too many cigarettes, and was also grabbing Satoshi's shoulders and keeping them in a firm tight grip, ready to break his arms if necessary. They were outside Mochida's home and it was raining a lot, every drop seemed like a scream of despair since they both lost all their friends in one day to that damned school. It was unbelievable and terrifying, but Satoshi knew that fighting wouldn't solve anything.

- Listen to me, I understand you don't feel alright, actually I'm the only person in this world that can understand you right now, but staying out here fighting won't get you anywhere. Let me go and let's go inside my house, ok? My parents are asleep, we can talk and try to get you sober and stuff...

- Shut the fuck up! It's your fault she's dead! - the blond panted with his voice cracking - And mine too! We should both just die already, we're already dead! Shit, and even in her last moments she couldn't stop thinking about you - Yoshiki was out of control, and it was hard for Mochida not to trip with this constant shaking as he held Satoshi very close to the street. If he fell, it would be in a puddle of filthy water and a car would probably not even see him before running over the brunette. That's when he saw it, the knife.

- Woah! Please listen to me, don't... - but as Satoshi looked up his heart broke at the sight of Kishinuma crying hopelessly. If it wasn't for the redness in his face, it probably would've been mistaken by the rain.

- She supported me... Sh-she... Was everything... That no one had ever been... - he watched as Kishinuma clung to him harder, the handle of the knife pressed against his right arm. Then suddenly he let go, and Satoshi was thankful he managed not to fall, only staggered a bit - This... This is for me - Yoshiki looked at the knife in his hand and walked back a few steps to get his distance from the other boy.

- Look Yoshiki, I can understand how you feel, ok? I lost my little sister... It's not easy, but that's no reason to go that way! - Mochida pointedly eyed the knife, stepping forward slightly in case he had to tackle the boy and grab the weapon.

- Everything is always so easy for you! You're always loved by everyone! And you're no fucking big deal, stay back! - the blade was pointed at Satoshi now, Kishinuma didn't want him to ruin the plan, feeling a bitter hatred towards this guy that the love of his life was in love with. He happened to be his friend also, but now that she was gone... It all changed.

- You would seriously hurt me? We're buddies! Your mind is fuzzy, don't make anything you'll regret later, Yoshiki. Just because Shinozaki died...

- Shut up!

- ...Doesn't give you the right of wasting her sacrifice like this! You're a coward, Yoshiki Kishinuma! - the brunette gasped at the words that left his mouth. So harsh, Kishinuma's face was serious compared to the previous depression - I... I'm sorry...

- I said for you to shut the hell up! I know I'm a coward! I know it. And she knew it too. That's why she chose you and completely ignored my feelings. And that's why I don't deserve her sacrifice - with that, the blond swung the knife and stabbed himself on the stomach area, feeling more light-headed and falling to his knees as he could hear Satoshi yelling at him. It hurt too a lot, and the warm tears on his face and warm blood flowing from his body was comforting, if anything. He was certain he would die, but not so certain about meeting Ayumi in the afterlife.


- Good morning, Yoshiki-kun - Satoshi jumped on his chair as he noticed he had fallen asleep, only to be awaken by the voice of the nurse next to his friend's bed. Outside it was sunny and the rain from yesterday had given place to a beautiful rainbow throughout the sky, but only if you looked close enough.

- ...Good-good morning - he heard his friend answering and his head snapped at his direction, a sudden relief taking over his body.

The night was terrible. As soon as they arrived at the hospital, Satoshi was forbidden inside the room as they treated the boy, only to be allowed by the morning. Yes, passing the night at the ER wasn't the best, but who said he could fall asleep after the previous events... It was some kind of miracle he snoozed off for 5 minutes now. Apparently, from what the nurses said, it wasn't a great night for his friend either.

It took Kishinuma a few moments to absorb Mochida's presence, and when he did, there was nothing but shame inside his belly. Besides pain, that is. It was a mutual relief when he got a smile from the brunette, so no hard feelings, good. His mind kept repeating his stupidity from the day before and he flushed.

- How are we feeling today, Yoshiki-kun? - the nurse asked softly, checking his bandages and smiling faintly at the troubled kid.

- Worse.

- It'll get better. Now you should talk to your friend here, the poor thing stayed all night outside waiting for you - she finished doing the check-ups and left the room, Satoshi chuckling embarrassed at that. Now the blond could see his sister's coat by an armchair nearby, he stared at it intently.

- Miki-chan arrived this morning, she's outside, want me to go get her? - Mochida finally spoke up, getting to his feet, but Kishinuma tried stopping him with his hand. Only tried because he felt a deep pain only by moving his arm, so it was that kind of injury.

- No, please. Stay.

- ...Alright.

- About yesterday...

- You don't need to explain yourself, Yoshiki. After surviving that nightmare, no one can ever blame you for anything - Satoshi approched the bed and sat by the edge, a tender look on his face.

- I fucked up, Mochida-kun. I... Was drunk and involved you in things that had little to do with you. I just... Can't accept the fact that she's...

- I can't either. I guess I'm just fine because I haven't had the chance to stop to think about it yet. I may even go crazy once I do. They're... They're all gone. But I'm still here. And you too, without you... I wouldn't be here alive - Satoshi shook his head slightly - That's why the only thing that I ask of you is... Don't go dying on me right now. I can't, I couldn't...

- Ok. Let's make it a promise.