Sitting in this studio staring at all the elegant photos I have took over the years. Photographs of families with children with blonde hair and beautiful baby blue eyes make me realize how envious I really am of them. Tommy and I have been trying for years to have a child of our own; however, the odds are stacked against us. Tommy's sperm count isn't that great. It's not impossible, but it's very unlikely.

When he was a teenager, he went on a camping trip with his father and his best friend, Daniel. While Tommy was asleep in his tent, a spider climbed into his sleeping bag. When he turned over onto the spider, it bit him in his manhood. Tommy's balls swelled so big. The doctors got the swelling down but they told his parent he would probably never be able to have children.

He blames himself because we can't have a baby. The arguments we've had because of this terrible situation. He knows I want a baby of our own. So I don't show him my tears anymore. My grandma told me once "Darling, if you stay busy throughout the day—you can't think about your problems and you are too tired at night to think, you sleep." So with that in mind, I threw myself into my work.

Tommy is a partner at one of the best law firms in Phoenix and one of the best lawyers they have. He is so passionate and driven about his work. Since we're been married six years in July and we haven't had a baby, everyone keeps asking what are we waiting for. I make a point not to go to the Christmas parties; all their eyes are looking at me. I feel like I'm in a cast-iron skillet, their eyes burning through me. Tommy, of course, thinks I'm over-exaggerating.

So only on lonely nights, while Tommy's away for business, do I allow myself to cry about the family I will never have. If the only thing in my life that isn't completely perfect is this, most people would say I'm lucky, right? Can I be happy with just being content in my life?

Stella! Stop this NOW!You can't keep this up. We can't keep feeling sorry for ourselves. You have the love of your life as your husband. A studio apartment for your office of a career you love. A stunning home you share with a loving husband. What exactly is the problem?

I slap back. This is crazy. I know how fortunate I am. So I get back to work. Time seems to be flying by because when I look up it was midnight. Oh my! I have an appointment tomorrow at noon. This day is going to be a long one, but at least Tommy will be home tonight. I get to sleep in the safest arms I know.