It was a brilliantly sunny afternoon as Alexandra stepped out of the carriage and walked into the small church on the arm of her brother in law Peter, closely followed by Joseph's parents. The pews were already filled with mourners and once they had taken their seats at the front of the church the minister began the service. He spoke of the sadness they would feel at having lost Joseph at such a young age, but that it was God's will and only he knew why he would call a member of his flock to his side so soon. He told the mourners all that Joseph had achieved in his short life and of all the people who would miss him.

But Alexandra was paying little attention to what the minister was saying. Instead she was staring at the sunlight that was streaming through the stained glass window and illuminating the space above her husband's coffin. It seemed to Alexandra that it was a morbid twist of fate that Joseph should be buried on such a beautiful day, after having died on a similar day. The intervening days had been dull and overcast and Alexandra had stared out the window as the rain had fallen. But as she had watched her husband die, and now as she watched him laid to rest, it was sunny.

She hadn't seen him the morning he had died. He had left their bed before she awoke, eager to get an early start to the hunt. Alexandra still didn't know exactly where the party went for the hunt; Joseph hadn't mentioned it when he told her of their plans and nobody had thought to tell her after it happened. Truthfully she preferred not to know.

The other members of the hunting party had been at a loss to explain how it had happened. Joseph had always taken such pride in his rifle, ensuring that it was clean and in perfect working order. He had been using it throughout the morning without any issue until the fatal shot. He had been lying on the ground with the weapon close to his face to line up his shot. But when he had pulled the trigger, instead of firing the bullet, the weapon had exploded in his hands, sending burning pieces of metal into his face and neck.

The other men had managed to get the injured man onto a horse and headed as quickly as possible back to the house, sending one man ahead to fetch the local doctor. Joseph had been awkwardly draped over another man's horse, whilst the rider tried to keep him from falling. Another man had ridden close beside them, using someone's jacket to try and stop the blood from flowing.

Alexandra had known that something was wrong the moment she heard horses racing into the courtyard. She could hear them shouting for help as she had ran down the stairs towards the front of the house. When she burst through the entrance she had been caught by one of Joseph's friends, but not before she saw her husband being lifted off the horse, clearly unconscious. They had tried to keep her away from him, saying that she shouldn't see him like that. Looking back Alexandra could see that they were only trying to do what they thought was the right thing but at the time she had been furious that they would try to keep her away from Joseph and had struggled to break free, collapsing beside the settee that they had laid him on.

His injuries had been horrific and had he lived he would have had significant scarring on his face and neck and lost at least one of his eyes. The doctor had arrived soon after, but it had been too late, for Joseph was already dead. He had explained that it was the loss of blood that had killed Joseph and that even if a doctor had been there when the accident had occurred it was unlikely that they would have been able to do anything to save him. Although Joseph had never woken up to see his wife one last time, it had been a blessing that he had not been aware of the pain.

It was only when Peter gently touched her hand that Alexandra realised that the service was over and that everyone was going outside for the burial. She numbly watched as the coffin was lowered into the ground and she threw a handful of dirt into the grave. And just like that it was over.

Family and friends of Joseph's, some that she knew and some that she didn't, came up to offer their condolences, which Alexandra gratefully accepted. She had managed to maintain her composure until she saw her parents, at which point she broke down in tears. Thankfully by this stage it was only the two families and the minister left in the graveyard and the minister made a discrete exit. Her parents didn't say anything as her mother gathered her in her arms.

It was too much for Joseph's mother to bear and she broke down in hysterics. Her husband managed to coax her to her feet and led her back into the church, leaving his youngest son with Alexandra and her parents.

He waited patiently as Alexandra was consoled by her parents. Finally she wiped away the last of her tears for the moment. "I'm sorry," she apologised. "You should go and be with your family."

"You are my family as well Alexandra. I will always consider you a sister, no matter what happens," Peter replied gently.

"Thank you," she said, grasping his hand.

"Are you sure this is what you want to do?" he asked after a moment of silence. "You know that you are welcome to stay. No one else needs the house and I will most likely just shut it up."

"I know. But I can't stay. There are too many memories and dreams that Joseph and I shared there," Alexandra explained.

Before Alexandra and Joseph had married Joseph had inherited a Dutton family property from his grandfather, which had been perfect for the newlyweds' marital home. However the property was to remain with the Dutton family, which meant that on Joseph's death the house had passed to Peter. If Joseph had had any sons then Alexandra would have been able to hold the house for them until they reached majority. However they had not had any children. Peter alternated between staying at his parents' home and a townhouse in London. Although he was now the official owner of the property he had no use for it and he didn't foresee that he would need it for quite a few years. He had therefore offered Alexandra continued use of the house for as long as she needed. In truth he had wanted her to stay there, not wanting his sister in law to lose her husband and her home at the same time.

But it had been their home and Alexandra could not imagine living there without Joseph. That he had died in the front parlour only made it worse. It was a house to raise a family in and was far too large for a lone woman with only servants for company. She and Joseph had often imagined what life would be like when they were finally blessed with children and if she stayed in that house she would only be haunted by that unfulfilled dream.

She had spent the nights since Joseph's death in their home, alone in a place she had thought they would share for the rest of their lives. The first night had been enough to convince her that she couldn't stay, although she had been forced to stay for the days before the funeral out of necessity. Still she had moved into a guest bedroom, unable to bear another night in the bed that Joseph would never sleep in again. Once word had been sent to Joseph's parents about what had occurred, Alexandra wrote to her own parents explaining her feelings on the matter. Her father had immediately replied, saying that the best course of action appeared to be that Alexandra should return to her parents' home and care, which she agreed to.

The next few days had been spent packing up the Dutton property, with Alexandra carefully gathering her own belongings and sending them back to her parents' home. There were also numerous conversations with Peter and his father about Alexandra's future. Whilst Peter wanted Alexandra to stay in the house and repeatedly offered it to her, his father believed that Alexandra had made a sensible decision. For Alexandra, her father in law's opinion convinced her that she was making the right decision.

"I know," Peter said. "I just needed to ask you one more time."

"It is appreciated," Alexandra responded, knowing how fortunate she was to have Peter for a brother in law.

"If you need anything you will write to me," he insisted.

"I will," Alexandra promised.

"When Mother is sufficiently recovered we will come to call on you," Peter said. Glancing back towards the church he continued, "Although I fear it will be some time before that happens."

With that he said his goodbyes to Alexandra and her parents and headed back into the church to find his own family.

Alexandra followed her parents back to their carriage, where she sat in silence for the entire journey back to their home, simply staring out the window. They quickly left behind the roads and small farms that had become so familiar to her over the past few years and returned to the area that she had grown up travelling through. It was heartbreakingly familiar and she noted every minor detail that had changed since the last time she had travelled along that route, from trees that had been removed to new buildings that dotted the landscape.

The servants were notably absent when they arrived, having been told not to make a fuss about Alexandra's return. But most of the servants had known Alexandra since she had been born and felt that they should do something for her. Her bedroom and her favourite rooms throughout the house were thoroughly cleaned and brand new linen was fitted on her bed. Her horse, which had arrived the day prior, had been given special attention and treats by the stable hand and the kitchen staff had gone out of their way to ensure that all of her favourite dishes were prepared. Even those servants who had started after Alexandra had married made an effort, not being able to help but feel sorry for the newly widowed young woman.

She soon found herself sitting in the drawing room, her parents seated opposite her, as her mother fussed with serving tea.

"Charles and Elizabeth will be arriving tomorrow afternoon," Jonathon explained. "We had hoped that they would be here in time for the funeral, but it wasn't possible."

Alexandra nodded in acknowledgement. "And their families?" she asked. Her brother Charles and his wife had a son and two daughters, whilst her sister Elizabeth and her husband had a son Nathan, whom Alexandra was especially close to.

"We thought it best that it just be the five of us, at least for the first few days," her mother said. "Their families will arrive next week."

She gave a small sigh of relief. As much as she wanted to see her extended family, she didn't think she would be able to cope with that many people straight away and she knew that the children shouldn't have to witness her grief.

"I think I will retire for the night," she decided, getting to her feet. She was at a loss as to what she should do in the circumstances and she hated how awkward she felt. She hoped that in the morning she would know how life was to proceed from now on.

"Alright, well I'll call for supper," her mother said.

"No," Alexandra interrupted. "Thank you, but I'm not hungry."

"You must eat something," her mother tried to coax her. "You need to keep your strength up."

"I know. But I can't. Not tonight. Maybe in the morning." Alexandra tried to give her mother a small encouraging smile.

"Alright. But if you need anything during the night..."

"I'll ring for one of the servants," she finished. "But I don't think it will be necessary."

Shutting the door to the drawing room behind her, she walked up the stairs to her childhood bedroom. Pulling off the black clothing that denoted her new status as a widow, Alexandra collapsed onto the bed, not even bothering to change out of her chemise into a nightgown. Nothing about the room that she had never expected to return to had changed. Nothing except her of course. She had last left this room wearing her wedding gown on the day that she had married Joseph, her life all perfectly set out for her. Now, only three years later, she had returned as a widow with no idea what her life was to become. It was with that troubling thought on her mind that she finally fell into an exhausted sleep.