"Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose."
- Kevin Arnold
Chapter 1
It wasn't until Edward regained consciousness that Al realized something might be wrong.
The older brother lay recovering in a white hospital bed. He was wearing a white hospital gown, being attended to by white military nurses wearing white gowns. The only other color seemed to come from the crimson blood staining the sheets and curtains. The scene was bizarre, and Al didn't like it.
Physically, Ed seemed well enough. The wounds in his abdomen had healed almost completely, and the massive gash along the back of his head was almost entirely hidden by his long golden hair. The mortar shell had killed everyone in Ed's squad, but he had miraculously survived.
Still, something was amiss.
"Welcome back, brother!" Al said once Ed appeared completely awake and aware of his surroundings. "How do you feel?"
"My head hurts" Ed replied bluntly. "And I'm not exactly sure how I got here."
Al chuckled uneasily. "Let's just say your bad luck must be mixed in with some good. It's a miracle you're even here right now." Al lowered his gaze. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but you were the only one in your squad to survive the blast."
Al braced himself for Ed's reaction. These men had been like a second family for the blonde youth while he was off fighting in the Irish Civil War, a byproduct of Al's being allowed to live and study in the gigantic library of Dr. William McDormett, an expert on Celtic runes and a staunch supporter of the Irish independence movement. In order for either to gain access to the world's largest repository of information on ancient runes, the other would have to join the movement, and Ed wasn't about to let his younger brother shoulder that burden.
Yet, there was nothing. Nothing in Ed's face to indicate even a recognition of these fallen brethren. His expression remained impassive as he calmly looked into Al's face.
"So I'm a soldier… that's interesting. Do I know you, then?"
Al's jaw dropped. This couldn't be happening. Not now. He had spent the last two years studying these runes that so mirrored alchemic arrays, so that one day they could go home. Now that he had finally found the answer, Fate had intervened with harsh decisiveness and a keen sense of irony.
It wasn't that Al was particularly unhappy in Ireland, and that made it worse. His inspiration was always the thought of his brother, lonely and suffering in the trenches of a war that neither brother held any real stake in. Had Alphonse just wasted two years of his life searching for a way to return to a place that Edward no longer knew existed?
But still… Al knew they would be happier in Amestris. It was where they belonged, whether Edward knew it or not.
"I'm your brother. My name is Alphonse. Why don't you get some more rest, because when you wake up we've got a lot to talk about."
"I'm not ruling out the possibility, but just don't get your hopes too high. If you do regain your memory, it will take some time."
This wasn't the news Ed wanted to hear from the doctor, but it was the news he was expecting. After spending an entire day being told about his own life by a brother he didn't recognize, Ed was finally coming to terms with the fact that he really didn't remember anything. Nothing that Al said brought even the slightest twinge of recognition, and at this point they had covered everything from alchemy to Irish whiskey (apparently a favorite of his, but he wasn't allowed to drink in the hospital.) Al had informed him about all of the loved ones he didn't know. He regaled Ed with their adventures in Amestris, and explained how they came to be in this world. Ed had cringed as Al told him the horrific reasons why they had fled Nazi Germany, and was finally feeling sleep coming on as Al rambled about Celtic runes and how they had attracted the brothers to Ireland.
Then there was a dream. He had been having the same one every time he slept. It wasn't exactly a memory, Ed thought, but it was something. Long grass, bright blonde hair, a flash of blue light. Ed knew that these images all had memories attached to them, but he just couldn't seem to place them…
"So, what do you think? Ed?"
Ed snapped out of the daydream he had been having. His concussion was healing, but he still had trouble focusing. Getting through an entire day of learning about his own life had been a chore, and now he had more than ever to think about.
"Sorry Al, what was that?"
"I asked what you thought about going home. I know it's not home for you yet, but we don't belong here,"
Ed pondered for a moment, trying not to lose focus again like a bored child.
"Honestly, Al, I know we don't belong here. I see the way these nurses look at my metal leg; they're scared of me. If you say that this Amestris is our home, then we should go there."
It was strange for Ed, being this lost little puppy. From the little he knew of himself, he could tell that his natural inclination was to lead, and he knew from Al's stories that he had once been a strong older sibling. Now he had no choice but to place himself entirely in the care of his younger brother. He had no clear sense of who he was or where he was going, and until that changed he had to accept this reversal of roles.
"It's settled, then," Al said. "When we leave the hospital tomorrow, we're going home to Amestris. I've got to get some materials from Dr. McDormett's, I'll be back in the morning to pick you up."
Al hesitated.
"There's a lot of people waiting for you back home, brother."
"You too," Ed said, a hesitant grin creeping across his tired face. "I can't wait to meet them all."
