K-chan -- I'm BACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKK! I'm sure everyone missed me, mm?

Duo-kun -- Not especially.

Seiji -- You were gone?

Wormmon -- Oh, sugoi! A story about Ken-chan. Yay!

K-chan -- Bah, I need new muses. Anyway, this is actually a cross-over, but it mainly stars Digimon. Pretty much, if you don't know Digimon, you'll be lost, but if you don't know about some of the other series involved, you'll do alright.

Duo-kun -- Gundam Wing *BETTER* be in it.

K-chan -- Um, so far, characters from Serial Experiments Lain, Fushigi Yuugi, Card Captor Sakura, and Pocket Monsters have showed up. However, they haven't even been given a chance to show if they have a personality or not, poor people. Pretty much, their names have been mentioned, and that's it. There are also a few yaoi hints in this chapter, but nothing that's really enough to be warned about. In the next few chapters, on the other hand…

Seiji -- K-chan does not own any of the above series, including Digimon. She doesn't really own much of anything, because she's saving all her money for Morrowind when it comes out. You have no reason to sue her, so don't.

K-chan -- I love how he can say that all in a monotone.

Duo-kun -- You know, this author's note is better quality then the story. And longer, too.

Wormmon -- It's about Ken-chan! Read it! And review, he's having a hard time… *kawaii Wormmon face*

Always a Loser

PART ONE -- Haunted

Ichijouji Ken was considering jumping off his balcony.

He didn't know WHY he was thinking such a thing- he hadn't had suicidal thoughts in years now. Somewhere in him, he was pretty sure he knew the reason of the hurt that pooled in him, but he was ignoring it. He wasn't ready to deal with it.

Daisuke…

He shook his head violently, and leaned further over. He was going out with some kids from school (along with Miyako-chan, who had transferred to his High School early last year). He couldn't afford to be stuck thinking about HIM. HIM, who was now dating, now dating…

He shook his head and walked back in to his room. He had to resist temptation. Had to. Jumping off the balcony would just prove him weak, anyway. And one thing Ken hated was to be weak. Weakness was just a sign that he couldn't live up to his brother. He knew Osamu would never consider anything remotely like suicide. It was just the way he was.

'And me? I look like a poster-boy for a Prozac ad. I'm surprised people aren't always checking me for cutting.', he thought dryly.

It was true. Black was his favorite color these days, and he almost always dressed in it, if he wasn't in his gray uniform. His pale skin, dark hair, and strange colored eyes gave him a clear 'Gothic' look. His personality- somewhat aloof, morbid, and very defensive went along with the new-rage 'Gothic' image.

Ken glanced down at his dark jeans and dark blue button down, but decided just to leave it the way it was. It was who he was. 'Who cares about damn images? I'm just me. Fucking angst-boy Ichijouji Ken;'. Bitterly, he grabbed his long coat and walked out of the house, ignorant of his mother's call of goodbye.

"Your late, Ken-kun!", he heard an accusing voice say. He glanced up as he walked in to the small cafe- ah, there they were. Walking over to the booth where a group of teens were lounging, he ploped himself somewhat ungracefully next to one of the girls. Miyako, who was sitting across from him, gave him a smirk. It was somewhat amusing, with all seven of them crammed on one four person booth, but it seemed that all of their small gang were thin boned, so it worked.

"What were you doing, Ken-kun?", the soft voice next to him asked. He glanced over at the quiet girl in his study hall, and gave a small smile- forced, but yet still real. He liked her- not in a romantic way, his feelings were saved for one person only, but in the way you would like a younger sibling.

"I was doing some chores, Lain-chan. They just took longer than I expected.", he said, his voice smooth and calm.

Miyako raised an eyebrow from where she leaned across from him. "You, actually doing chores? Your parents have gotten stricter, haven't they?". She stirred her coffee slowly, leaning forward across the booth, studying him carefully as though trying to root out a secret.

Ken remained stone-faced. If she thought she was going to find out how CLOSE he had been to loosing everything, she had another thing coming. He met her eyes with his sharp violet ones, and after a moment, she turned to the anti-social boy sitting next to her, trying to pull him in to a conversation. Ken let out a small sigh of relief, and got up to walk over to the counter.

He ordered his usual- French Vanilla cappuccino, and paid the rip-off price that he complained to himself about everyday yet never did anything about. He had enough money that it wasn't overly a concern, after all- he was pretty sure he would get a scholarship to college, and even if he didn't, all the money himself and Osamu had made when they were younger was in his hands now.

He shook his head quickly; he didn't want to think about Osamu. Giving one last nod to the cashier girl, an upperclassman at his school, he wandered back over to the booth, sipping the cappuccino as he did. His eyes glanced over his friends once more, wondering how they had all gotten to where they were.

Himself, the 'Genius Boy' soccer player. Miyako, the popular cheerful sometimes-slut. Lain, the quiet, introspective computer geek. Shigeru, the anti-social standoffish brat. Dou'kun, a childish curious genius. And Sakura, the adorable cheerful athlete.

They were of their own group at the school, mainly for the reason that they wouldn't fit in anywhere else. Ken had to admit it was nice, having 'friends', as the other Chosen were so busy with school and sports that he hardly ever saw them. Still, he missed watching Taichi and Yamato argue, seeing Iori idolize Jyou, listening to Koushiro try to explain things, helping Takeru and Hikari avoid their brothers protective watch, being amused as Sora (and sometimes Mimi) tried to keep things in order, and…

Daisuke…

"Ichijouji-kun? Are you alright?", a concerned voice questioned.

He jumped a bit in his seat, blushing slightly at being caught daydreaming. He quickly glanced around, seeing Sakura watching him with somewhat startled eyes. The slight girl was the one who had asked him, but it was easy to see that she didn't think he had been so deep in thought. He blushed harder at realizing how foolish he most likely seemed now, and quickly went to staring at his drink, just making a muttered 'hai' sound.

Just before it seemed that everyone was going to go back to what they were doing, he felt an arm grab his own, and looked up quickly to meet Miyako's annoyed eyes. Inside, he cringed, knowing he was in for it now, but on the outside he remained composed and calm. He could feel his friends eyes cutting through him in her annoyance, and quickly thought of a way to get out of this.

"ICHIJOUJI KEN! What the HELL is wrong with you? You came here late, for the first time in FOREVER, you've been out ever sense, and you're acting suspicious! What HAPPENED?". The pretty Inoue girl's voice rose and fell through her small speech, some words coming out higher than others. Shigeru, who was sitting next to her, was flinching and rubbing his right ear in semi-annoyance.

"You could be a great actress, Miyako-san.", piped up Dou'kun, his wide-eyes glinting playfully. Ken shot him a relieved look as Miyako turned her temper to Dou'kun, screeching at him. Shigeru was scrunched in his seat in-between them, looking pained; it was enough to bring a real smile to Ken's lips. The smile quickly faded, though, as he felt Lain grab on to his sleeve.

"Ken-kun, look! That pretty brown-haired girl. Isn't she one of your friends?".

Ken glanced out the window of the café, and his eyes widened slightly. Yes, that was Yagami Hikari, no doubt- but what was she doing over here in Tamachi? And who was- oh. Walking a few feet behind her, with his hand curled up in Takeru-kun's and a cheerful smile on his face, was him.

Daisuke.

To quote one of Dou'kun's friends, Genrou, 'oh fucking shit.'