"Three Cheers For Five Years"
A Christian/Trish/Jericho one shot-song fic
Inspired by the song "Three Cheers For Five Years" by Mayday Parade.
I don't own anything, English is not my own language so i apologize for errors/typos.
I started this a couple of months ago and now i finally decided to finish it for my friend Sam's birthday, hope you like it! :)
R&R and enjoy!
Somehow I knew from the beginning that in the end it all would have come down to this.
Somehow I felt it from the start.
But probably it's just another bullshit I keep on telling myself cause, if I really knew so, I don't see why I would have invested the last 5 years of my life in this. Unless I am masochistic but, honestly, I don't think I am.
I reach the door of our hotel's room and sigh pressing my back against the opposite wall. I close my eyes for a few seconds trying to clear my head, but I know there's no way I can. I'm well aware that in the single moment I'll stretch my arm out and my hand will twist the knob anything won't be the same anymore.
Apparently it's all up to me. Since she's perfectly fine living a lie with me and sneaking behind my back with one of my closest friends. Or at least that's all I can figure out of it, I have no idea of what she's thinking and neither of what she's feeling for the two of us, nor even why she's doing this.
Usually that's the point when you see it in movies when the guy understands where he went wrong, how he neglected her, how part of the blame is surely on his side… but I can't see it. Maybe I'm just dumb or extremely arrogant, your choice, but I can't say I feel guilty about this. I'm not saying I'm a saint but what the hell, I was sure we were happy together, that she was happy with me. She never gave me a sign… or maybe I didn't realize it, I don't know, the only think I'm sure of is that at some point she decided to go and fuck Jericho.
Maybe it's all some sort of karma. I screwed him in the ring and now in real life he's screwing me, or better her, literally. I would even find it ironic how the storyline's situation got exactly reversed, if I wasn't the one involved, obviously.
And so yes, I can't bring myself to pretend once again tonight. I let out a deep breathe while I step forward and reach for the knob. And as I walk inside I know that I'm changing everything.
"Hey baby!" She greets me with the sweetest smile I've ever seen and I actually have to remind myself of what she's hiding behind that innocent look not to fall for it all over again.
I take a quick glance around the room and I can see that she has perfectly set everything up. White candles are lit up and scattered all over the hotel's suite while out on the balcony there's a small table all prepared with cover dishes and a single red rose in the middle, while from where I'm standing I can even see the tray with the champagne bottle on it.
She follows my gaze and smiles again, probably mistaking my expression, and walks towards me. She's wearing a low cut back dress that embraces her body amazingly. She said it had taken her 3 full days to find it, "the perfect dress" she said, shopping with Amy. Now that I think of it she probably spent 2 hours searching for the damn dress and the rest of the time with him.
And so I feel like an idiot as she places her arms around me and presses her body against mine.
"I wanted everything to be perfect for tonight. Our special night." She softly says lifting up her chocolate eyes on me, before capturing my lips.
Yes, our night. Today is our anniversary. Our fifth anniversary to be exact. And nope, I'd have never imagined spending it this way.
I return the kiss quickly, just brushing my lips against hers while she softly bites my bottom lip… but neither that feels right tonight. And she notices it, of course.
"Something wrong, Jay?" She asks with a confused look on her face.
Hell yeah it is. I sigh. I know that from now there's no way we can get back. Sarcastic, or maybe masochistic again, that I chose just tonight to change everything, to tell her that I know what's going on. I've known this for a whole week so far and I found the resolution to tell her just tonight, I know. Not that I planned it to go this way, but actually it was him to make me decide so.
I was just about to leave the arena an hour ago when he passed me by in the corridor… and had indeed the guts to wish me a happy anniversary, with even a friendly pat on my shoulder and a smile. I don't know how I refrained from punching him in the face right then –not that I won't do that later, of course-, but that was the very moment I decided this bullshit was ending tonight.
"Jay?" She repeats, concern in her voice "Did Amy and Adam have a fight or something?"
I can't refrain from sarcastically smiling as I walk towards the balcony with my back at her.
"At least they fight if something's wrong, no need of fucking someone else behind each other's back." I bitterly comment.
"Baby I'm afraid I'm not following you… what--"
"I know everything, Trish." I abruptly cut her off. "About you and Chris."
As predictable, silence falls upon the room. Now that I finally said it out loud it seems surreal… as this is not me, not my future shattering into pieces… as I'm watching this from outside.
I turn my head to glance over her and I see that she sat down on the edge of the bed.
"How do you…" She trails off in a barely audible whisper.
"I just do." I state. I refuse to tell her how I busted them in the arena's locker room after a house show last Sunday. She was supposed to go out with the girls to celebrate Victoria's birthday and I forgot my keys and went back to search for them. So cliché. It's already enough humiliating without telling her, trust me.
She just slowly nods and glances around the room, I observe as her gaze stops on the nice table.
"Don't ruin our night." She says in a low voice.
I can't believe what I'm hearing. I blink twice. Okay, I'll give her the benefit of being slightly shocked of my revelation but the fuck, she cheats on me and I'm the one ruining our anniversary?!
"Actually I think you ruined it the first time you decided to be with him." I shook my head in disbelief. Wasn't she supposed to say something like 'I swear Jay, it's not what it seems'? They always do that in movies. I'm almost offended that she didn't try to insult my intelligence with that and instead opted for blaming me for tonight. Baby there's no freaking anniversary cause you already broke this relationship.
"Maybe I'd better go." I add since she doesn't say a word.
"No, don't. Please."
I know the hardest part is coming now as she suddenly gets up and stands just before me, as to try to stop me, speaking in a pleading voice. I look directly in her eyes and for a brief moment it looks like all her dreams are shattering into pieces too.
I'm barely aware of her pressing her forehead against my chest as she whispers again.
"Don't go."
I swear that you don't have to go
I thought we could wait for the fireworks
And I thought we could wait for the snow
To wash over Georgia and kill the hurt
I thought I could live in your arms
And spend every moment I had with you
Stay up all night with the stars
Confess all the faith that I had in you
Too late, I'm sure and lonely
Another night, another dream wasted on you
So just be here, against me
You know the words so sing along for me baby
I have to bit hard on my bottom lip to refrain from placing my arms around her as usual.
And she finally seems to understand that she crossed the line, that I can't just let it go.
"What's the point in staying?" I question matter-of-factly.
"Jay, please." She lifts her eyes on me, studying my face, but not letting go of me.
"Please what, Trish? What?"
"Talk to me." She pleads.
I shook my head, softly releasing her grip from my back. "And what can I say? What do you expect me to say? There's nothing left to say."
"Don't say so!" She protests, running a hand through her caramel locks "I didn't want it to go this way…"
I can't help but sarcastically smile "Yeah, I see. A little hard to believe right now, don't you think?"
She lowers her head but I can see the tears streaming down her face. "I love you." She whispers, slightly shaking. "That never changed… you… you have to believe me when I tell you I didn't want this to get so messed up… I'm so sorry…"
For heaven's sake I know you're sorry
But you won't stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know I'm dying
With my heart beside me
In shattered pieces that may never be replaced
And If I died right now you'll never be the same
"I really need to force myself to stop the automatic reflex of telling her that I love her back and that everything's gonna be alright.
What comes next is nothing but predictable.
"And did you love me when you were kissing him? Did you still love me when you were rolling inside a bed with him? Or maybe on the locker room's floor? In the showers? Against the lockers? Did you still love me then?"
How does he feel, and how does he kiss?
How does he taste when he's on your lips?
How does he feel, and how does he kiss?
"It's different." She shakes her head "I don't… with him it's different." She repeats, nodding, and I'm not even sure which one of us she's trying to convince. "I don't know… it just happened. You know him… and you saw we always had that chemistry… I should have stopped it immediately, I know--"
"No, you shouldn't have stopped a damn thing," I snap "there shouldn't have been anything to stop in the first place!"
"I don't love him like I love you." She softly says.
"And that should make me feel better?" I snicker. "Tell him, he'll be delighted to hear so. Maybe he and I could go out together to drink over our broken hearts tomorrow, what do you think?"
I observe as she slowly sit down on the edge of the bed again, looking at me with the same pleading expression.
"You can't get past this, can you?" She whispers "We can start it over, we can--"
"You're kidding me, right?" I interrupt "Do you realize what you're saying? I was here, Trish, I was here all along from day one! I was here while you, YOU, suddenly decided to go around and fuck my best damn bud… it was you, Trish. You created this mess with your own hands. So don't you dare now to twist it like I'm the one who can make it all better with one word.
"…So what?"
So sleep alone tonight with no one here just by your side
Sleep alone tonight
"So it's over." I almost surprise myself hearing my voice stating so. And I say it, even though I can almost feel my own heart breaking in a million pieces, I know there's no other choice. There's no other possibility.
"I can't forget this." I continue, trying to conceal how much this costs me. "I can't just pretend that nothing happened… when I look at you I can only picture you right beside him."
She lifts up her gaze again and it kills me to see how much this hurts her too. Despite the fact that in all this she's my murderer, actually.
"So is this really it?" She stares at me for several minutes, probably trying to read something in my eyes… something she can't find anymore because she destroyed it, before bringing herself to ask.
"Yeah, this is it." I slowly nod, confirming the bitter truth.
She opens her mouth to object something but nothing comes out, as she keeps on silently crying.
I just stare at her, my hand already stretched towards the knob, conscious that this is the last time I'll look at her like that, this is the last memory that I'm going to have of her as my Trish.
And she probably knows it too cause she's almost devouring me with her eyes.
And I will always remember you as you are right now to me
And I will always remember you now, remember you now
We both know that once we break eye-contact what links us –or better what linked us- will be destroyed for ever. Even though I know there's no way I could ever forget her. And I mean it beside all this shit she caused.
She's the first girl I really loved and, ironically, I was really planning to spend my entire life with her. I know I can't forget her.
And even though she killed me, I can't bring myself to hate her. No. Unfortunately I know that deep inside I'll always love her.
I can't forget you
I know that you want me to want you I want to
But I can't forgive you
So when this is over don't blow your composure baby
I can't forgive you
I know that you want me to want you I want to
But I can't forgive you
So when this is over don't blow your composure baby
I can't forget you
I know you want me to want you I want to
With a last glance I took my eyes away from her and I eventually remember something. Or better I suddenly feel it pressing against my chest inside the inner pocket of my jacket.
I slowly pick out the small velvet box and place it on the drawer next to the door.
I really don't care what she'll decide to do with the engagement right laying inside.
"Happy anniversary." I say at last, closing my eyes as I step outside.
As I carelessly leave the door ajar I can hear her saying something whish sound very much like "I'm sorry…" but I keep on walking, it doesn't matter anymore.
For heaven's sake I know you're sorry
But you won't stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know I'm dying
With my heart beside me
In shattered pieces that may never be replaced
And If I died right now you'll never be the same
It's too late now.
