Girls and Beasts

By Benjamin Chylla

Inspired by "The Company of Wolves" by Angela Carter and "V for Vendetta" by Alan Moore.

There was once a village located deep within the mountains, stricken by high poverty and low temperatures. Childhood could never exist here. There was little room for it, for children quickly had to grow up in order to support their families. Most children spent their days engaging in menial outdoor chores; sons assisted their fathers in chopping wood for their fires, while daughters assisted their mothers in fetching water from the well. They were all clothed in wolf-skin. One brown-eyed brunette girl, however, was exempted from this rule. She spent her days sheltered indoors. Although she occasionally assisted Mother in household chores such as cooking, she spent most of her time sulking with the dolls and toys in her bedroom.

Mother and Father had initially named her Elizabeth, but no one, not even them, seemed to call her that anymore. Her common title was "Red," referring to the rich, scarlet saturation of her cloak. Ever since she was a small child, she had enjoyed wearing the cloak every day. She had received it at the age of three, as a gift from Grandmother. "Keep yourself sheltered inside of it, for it will repel all misfortune and evil," Grandmother had said. Somehow, Red never seemed to outgrow the cloak; no matter how large she grew, she never seemed to escape its boundaries.

Grandmother had "retired" ten years ago, after handing her wolf-skin merchant business down to Father. Ever since then, Mother had taken Red on annual journeys over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's house, for Father was always "too busy." At the age of thirteen, however, Red insisted that she should be allowed to visit Grandmother on her own, for she was finally "grown up." Mother eventually received permission from Father to submit to Red's request. Mother gave Red a basket containing two bottles of jam, a cake, and a knife. "It's not just for cutting the cake," Mother reminded Red. "Don't talk to strangers." Mother kissed Red on the forehead, and Red walked out the door.

Ever since she was three, Red had been reminded during each of her visits to Grandmother's house about the wild, wicked wolves dwelling in the woods. "Beware of wolves," Grandmother had always said, "for they have forfeited their humanity, and therefore their souls, to the Devil." "If wolves are so evil", Red thought, "they would never hurt me, because I am safe from misfortune." After crossing the bridge over the river, she entered the woods. Red began to wonder, assuming that wolves truly did dwell there, why Grandmother had "retired" in the woods to begin with.

As soon as she reached the middle of the woods, she encountered a blonde, blue-eyed girl, who appeared to be fourteen or fifteen years old. Red's attention was briefly directed toward the girl's coat, which was made of sheepskin. "Where does she come from?" Red wondered. The girl in sheepskin asked for Red's name. Red answered. The girl introduced herself as Alexandra. "Where do you live?" asked Red. "Out here," Alexandra responded. Red was confused, but she knew that she was already breaking Mother's rule of not talking to strangers. The less talk, the better. "Where are you going?" Alexandra asked. "To my Grandmother's house," Red responded. "Where is that?" Red pointed a finger at the path behind Alexandra. "Down that hill." "I guess that your mother has never told you not to tell strangers where you are going," Alexandra teased. "I guess that she has also never told you not to play with strangers. Here, let's race. Tag!" Then she suddenly reached out and, with long black fingernails, tore off a piece of the right sleeve of Red's cloak. "You're it!" Alexandra fell onto her hands before vanishing down the path. Baffled, Red cried, "That's my cloak! Give me that back!" She sprinted toward the path, hoping to find and catch the thief.

Red stopped running as soon as she reached Grandmother's house. She turned toward the door and gasped, for it was wide open. She stepped inside, and spotted Alexandra standing beside Grandmother, who was lying on the floor. Red looked down, and discovered that Grandmother's neck was covered in blood; a large portion of it seemed to be missing. Red felt her insides leap up inside of her, from her stomach to her throat. She fell onto her hands and knees, onto the floor. She vomited. Before she knew it, she felt two hands placed gently on her sides, lifting her up. She was raised to her feet. The face that was staring at her was Alexandra's. Except it wasn't really Alexandra's. Or was it? If it was, then it certainly didn't look exactly as Red remembered it from the woods. The only noticeable differences between this face, and the face that she had seen in the woods, were bright gold eyes and razor-sharp fangs…stained with blood.

Red found herself staring at the ceiling, lying in the creature's furry arms. She looked upward and saw the face of a wolf. Its bright, glowing eyes were aimed straight at her own. She began to shriek as loud as she could. A huge paw immediately covered her mouth, muffling her voice. "Shh…," the creature whispered. "It's me. Alexandra." It lifted its paw, allowing Red to gasp for breath. Red remained terrified, for the creature's voice did not sound like Alexandra's. Her eyes began to release huge tears, and she began to cry. "I'm sorry…" said the creature. "I bumped into the door…she cursed at me…she held a Bible and a knife…I was scared..." Red realized that the creature was standing erect on two legs, as it walked toward Grandmother's fireplace before gently setting her down on the floor. Red was unable lift up her back, for she was nearly paralyzed with fear. She closed her eyes, and prayed that Grandmother was right about the cloak.

"Red?" Red's prayer was interrupted by the creature's voice. She opened her eyes and saw the wolf, crouched right beside her. Red instantly confirmed that the wolf was Alexandra; how else would she have known her name? "You are safe," Alexandra said. "I promise that I will never cause any harm upon you." Red was barely listening. Her mind was clouded with doubt; if the story told by this girl, or wolf, was true, it did not explain the location of Grandmother's body. Alexandra directed her gaze toward it.

"As soon as I realized what I had done, I remembered that you were coming," she explained. "I could not conceive an explanation for her disappearance. But the last thing that I could do was to allow you to see the body. I dragged it into the house, and I was about to close the door, before you arrived. I solemnly swear that, until this day, I have never shed human blood."

"You have shed the blood of sheep," Red whispered. She lifted herself into a sitting position. "I saw you wear one." Alexandra exposed her blood-covered fangs, as if attempting to grin. "What do you humans do with your sheep?" Red became queasy and clenched her stomach. The golden eyes widened, the fangs were hidden, and the beast whined softly. Red again began to stare at the ceiling. The mansion had elegant windows installed into its ceiling; she could see the moon, as round as the wolf's eyes. A paw was pressed gently upon her cheek, turning her head and guiding her gaze toward the wolf's extended, dangling tongue. Stuck to it was a piece of scarlet fabric. She recalled the blonde girl standing in the woods, with golden eyes as bright as the sun, her fangs bared into a smile, while clenching the fabric in her fingers. "You're it!" The girl then turned around, a long tail exposed from her rear. She dived forward, her hairy, long-nailed hands making contact with the dirt, before vanishing toward the mountain path.

Red slowly extended her hand toward the beast's tongue. She gently removed the fabric, holding it between her thumb and index finger, and pulled her hand away just as slowly as she had extended it. As the piece of scarlet dangled in front of Red's own eyes, Grandmother's voice echoed across her skull: "…for it will repel all misfortune and evil." Red continued to stare at it, her gaze directly away from her companion. "If you don't kill humans…what's so fun about being a wolf?" She began to chuckle to herself; she was interrupted by the sound of a high-pitched whine. The beast was now lying on its belly, with tears welling out of its golden eyes. Red then realized that her basket, which had contained a handkerchief, was missing.

"I'm sorry, poor wolf," she whispered. "Could you please explain to me…how one becomes a wolf?" Alexandra lifted her head. "I would like to tell you a story. Before I can do so, however, you must remove your cloak." "Would you mind doing it for me?" Red asked. Alexandra sighed. "First of all, I am a wolf. I do not even have thumbs." Red nodded. "Second," Alexandra continued, "You must be the one to do it. A fortress of ignorance must expose itself if it wishes to be invaded by truth." Understanding the former explanation, Red untied the straps of her crimson robe. She then lifted it off of her shoulders, and folded it neatly. No sooner had Red placed the cloak on her lap when the beast violently snatched it and hurled it into the fireplace. The startled Red immediately rose to her feet. The beast turned toward her, then began to approach slowly on all fours. As the wolf came closer, Red slowly lowered into a chair behind her. Alexandra rested her head peacefully into Red's lap. This creature began to speak, in a voice that closely resembled the girl that Red had met in the middle of the woods.

"I recall that you have asked me, during our meeting in the forest, where I came from. I was not being dishonest by telling you that I live 'out here.' For the forest is my home…or at least the closest thing that I have to one." She sniffled. "These 'wolves,' as you refer to them, are family. We are hunted every day and every night, by ruthless men who carry powerful weapons. These tools launch terrifying projectiles, which can penetrate our flesh. They wound and hinder my brothers and sisters, who subsequently receive the knife. We form packs, usually consisting of either males or females. Some of us, however, are drawn toward both our brothers and our sisters, and form mixed packs. We try to hunt deer and small rodents, but we occasionally and inadvertently come across the farmyards of man. We often are forced to silence the livestock, who try to alert their owners. As we are hunted every day and every night, our packs are constantly disrupted, and we are separated. To tell you the truth, I have never received the chance to familiarize myself with any of them, any more than I have familiarized myself with you. My pack is my family, even if it is temporary. We call each other 'family,' because each of us have been rejected from one.

"I come from a peak high in the mountains, south of here. I was the youngest in a family of five. I had a father, a mother, and two sisters. We were bonded not by blood, but by love. My mother was happily married to my father, but she could not bear a child. My sisters and I were all orphans; none of us could recall our 'real' parents. We pretended not to care. We were a wealthy family. With the exception of Sundays, we played and giggled in the snow every day, while our mother tidied up the house and our father went out 'to work.'

"Every night, our mother would summon us indoors, to 'prepare for Father.' We stood up straight and attentively as our father walked through the door. He always seemed to wear some sort of strange pelt. He always blindly walked past my sisters and I, as if he was unaware of our existence, before kissing our mother. She once chastised me for trying to make eye contact with him. My sisters and I were finally allowed to speak with him at the dinner table, with permission from our mother, but he never seemed to be in the mood to speak. After every evening meal, we were asked to go to bed. Every night, my father would enter my bedroom. He tenderly kissed me on the cheek, before whispering, 'I love you.''

"I once wished that I could have known him better. I once desired to discover where his pelt came from. I once yearned to grow 'old enough' to find out what daily activities he engaged in. More than anything, I felt entitled and obligated to understand the importance of his 'work,' which seemed to keep him separated from his family – our family. My ignorance was my shelter.

"One does not always 'choose' to be a wolf. Usually, one is forced into wolfhood. I can testify to this, because I was raised in a 'pure' family, yet I was stripped of my humanity. I never 'chose' to live as a wolf. Rather, it was a life chosen for me, against my own will, due to my own godlessness. I have since struggled to embrace it.

"For each of my birthdays, as well as each of my sisters' birthdays, my family would host a grand celebration. We would invite fellow village residents to join us. My peers from outside of the family have always spent most of their days engaging in labor. Sons assisted their fathers in chopping wood for their fires, while daughters assisted their mothers in fetching water from the well. Consequently, birthday and Christmas celebrations served as my only opportunities to connect with humans from the outside world. As I shook hands with the other children, I encountered a young girl, blonde and beautiful. Her eyes were brown, much like yours. As soon as my hand made contact with hers, I did not desire to let go. I felt like…like I was somehow drawn to her. At the time, I thought that I was simply experiencing an extraordinary moment of ecstasy from the birthday celebration. I thought that it was merely a stage. I thought that I would grow out of it. I did not.

"By the time I had reached the age of ten, my father and mother had determined that my sisters and I were 'old enough,' to stop playing in the snow each day. For the first year, the older of my two sisters joined my father as he ventured 'to work' every day. A year later, it was the younger sister's turn; she was the one to receive the privilege of going to 'to work' every day. Each year, anyone who was left behind, including my mother, was expected to tidy up the house and prepare the meals. After my thirteenth birthday, I knew that my own time would come soon.

"Eventually, I was finally asked by my father to join him in his everyday 'work.' I followed behind him, with a sense of wonder, as he walked through the streets of the village. He led me to a large shop, and I realized that it was completely filled with clumps of animal fur. My job, he told me, was to put those valuable knitting skills that my mother had taught me to the test. To knit pelts. Meanwhile, he stood at the counter, awaiting and serving men who arrived as 'customers.' I was disappointed. 'This,'I thought, 'is why he strays from his own family? My family? Our family?'

"When the first 'customer' arrived, he placed a mound of fur on the counter. It reminded me of the pelt that my father wore. As soon as the man left, I asked my father which animal the hide had been extracted from. He answered, 'This, my daughter, is a wolf skin. It once belonged to a demon, as all wolves are.'

"One customer brought with him his daughter, a young woman like myself, when he arrived at the shop. I was struck by the awe of her presence. She reminded me of the girl that I had encountered during my seventh birthday. That feeling that I felt back then…it came to me again, only more intensely. This time, I could not deny it. I was allured to her, much like how Adam was allured to Eve.

"One day, after I returned home with my father, he made an announcement at the dinner table. He had found a wealthy man, Richard, who was willing to claim my hand in marriage. His carriage would arrive next week; I was going to be escorted to his village in the southern mountains, where we would be wed. I realized, then, that I could no longer remain silent. For months, I had been too fearful to reveal myself. I could not bear the thought of displeasing my father. I could not bear to be accused of betraying my Lord. But I knew that it was my last chance to carve out my own fate. 'For if God's plan is for my flesh to be joined with man,' I thought, 'then why am I drawn toward woman? And how could I continue to deceive my mother and father, during my final days with them?'

"After dinner, I asked my mother if I could speak with my father. She told me to wait near the fireplace. In a matter of time, she returned to meet me, with my father beside her. I told them that I could not marry Richard, for I could not join with one whom I could not love. My father was initially silent; he looked at me as if he were listening to a stranger. 'You have not even met him yet, Alexandra' my mother said. 'Even if you are not initially drawn by his appearance, you may be drawn by his kindness.' For I tell you, humans never fail to conceive strange standards for defining ownership. We wolves do not claim to possess one another, even when we are 'kind' to one another.

"'I am not made to love him,' I told them. 'Because he is a man.' Then I explained to him my experiences with the blonde girl. I was acting not on desire, but on obligation, to tell them the truth. I knew that I would not be praised and glorified for my revelation…but I did not anticipate the horror that it would bring them. Nor the fury that I would be met with.

"My father attacked me and pinned me face-down to the ground. I heard him tell my mother to go fetch a knife. With my ear against the floor, I could hear her rapid footsteps as she ran toward the kitchen. 'You filthy lesbian!' my father snarled. After my mother returned with the knife, I felt my father begin to tug on my clothes. I heard the sound of the knife sawing back and forth, cutting through. I began to cry…I was so scared..."

A brief silence filled the room.

"My clothes were eventually removed; I saw them being tossed into the fire. As I stared at my hand, I began to realize that it was expanding. My fingernails stretched, sharpened, and blackened, while fur began to cover my skin. My attacker immediately snatched my wrist, and began to apply the knife. I immediately bit his knife-carrying arm, latching onto it as tight as I could. I did not expect him to howl so violently. It was like the sound of a nocturnal beast, but much more…savage. My mother began to scream. I heard the violent shrieking of my sisters, who had just ventured downstairs from their bedrooms. I realized that latched onto my father's wrist, right in front of my eyes, was a large muzzle. I was snarling.

"No sooner had I released my grip that I leaped through the window and sprinted into the woods. I did not look back. I recall finding myself surrounded by two beasts. I recall them circling around me. But I do not recall them growling at me. They were crying. One of them approached and applied its forehead against mine. The other began to do the same. I realized that they were embracing me. It was not long before I noticed that the wolves and I were at approximately the same height. It wasn't until they guided me away that I discovered that I was walking on all fours. They led me to a pond, where I looked down and saw myself, just as you see me now.

"My twin companions led me to their den, where I was introduced to their pack. They welcomed me and allowed me to spend the night with them. When I woke, I left the den and returned to the pond. When I was about to drink, I was startled by the reflection of a naked woman. At that moment, I was determined to return to the village to visit my sisters. I had not yet told them goodbye. I quietly slipped away.

"I found my father's shop and stole a sheepskin. I then approached my former home, and spotted them, right there, beginning to head toward the outhouse. I called their names and approached them. They turned and glared toward me. I had assumed that they were unaware of my transformation the prior night. Their furious gaze informed me that I was wrong, before the stones did. Before long, I found myself being pelted by palm-sized projectiles. "You're going to Hell!" I heard the younger shout. One stone struck me in the head, and I blacked out. As soon as I came to, I discovered that I was using paws, not hands, to lift my head from the ground. I looked up, and saw the older sister clenching a sharp chunk of ice, her eyes swelled with fear. I turned to see several villagers approaching from the distance, clenching pitchforks. Without hesitation, I vanished and never returned."

Grandmother had finally escaped Red's mind. She began to place her palms gently on the wolf's head. All of her previous fears had utterly eroded; they were displaced by sorrow. "As I have been hunted, separated, and forced to migrate from pack to pack, I have asked a great many wolves if they have ever, even once, devoured a human being. They have all denied it, for they have all once shared the luxury of civilized acceptance. It was stripped from them, however, by the beasts who had raised them and taught them the nature of love, but exercised it only while their differences in human passion were unrecognized and kept hidden."

Red peacefully rested her head upon Alexandra's, her tears meeting the tranquil fur. "What made me human, or so I had thought, condemned me to the mercy of nature. Now, I am only human when I wish to be. When I am alone." Red raised her head, her gaze revisiting the golden eyes. These eyes shut, while the muzzle of the beast before her was lifted. Red briefly spotted the tongue before it met her face. She closed her eyes, and felt it passionately stroke her cheek upward. When her eyes opened, they met Alexandra's again. These golden eyes were slowly lowered toward Red's garments. The wolf then turned her head, briefly, toward the fireplace. Red crouched and fully embraced her friend, before she began to walk toward the stairs. She entered her room and climbed into bed. For the final time, the voice of her grandmother invaded her dreams, chanting, "Those who undress for demons, or aid them, will become demons, themselves."

By the time that she awoke the next morning, the beast had abandoned her. Also missing was the body of Red's grandmother, along with the trail of blood that had previously led to the door. In its place was the basket given to her by her mother, still containing the two bottles of jam, the cake, and the knife. Red ventured into the woods, searching for Alexandra. She heard a howling shriek pierce the morning, and followed its call. Red found the poor beast trapped within a net, suspended between two trees. Immediately, she set down the basket, removed the knife, and cut her down. She then stumbled and fell to her hands, which truly turned out not to be hands at all.