A/N: Hey everyone, would just like to thank you for taking the time to read this, it's my first Twilight fic and I really hope you like it, it has taken some work, I've got more chapters ready to go, but I wanted to see the response to this before I continue to upload. There is a reason for the rating and at the moment that is for language, but as time goes on, all I can say is Lemonade anyone?

If you like it let me know, I'm open to all sorts of criticism, it hasn't been BETA'D however I have a friend who is willing to go over it for me, and I have been over it numerous times, if there is something you find that doesn't seem American, well I'm English and I forget you guys are Mom while we're Mum and so on.

I would like to dedicate this to my wonderful, supportive, brilliant friend, without whom this wouldn't be here. Alizarine Bermuda A.K.A ...x Love you.

Anyway, I'm sure i've gone on faaaar to long, but I have one last thing, did everyone see the Robert Pattinson topless photos? One word: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

So, let the show go on....

Chapter One

I sighed heavily as I walked along the bustling street; breathing in the cold winter air, this year had really not been my year. You would have thought that out of 365 days at least half would have been good right? That there would have been happiness and good times? For me, most of the days this year had been dire; there were few good times and even less happiness. It was already nearing the end of November and it really looked like I would be spending this Christmas and New Year alone, for the first time in years my father, Charlie, was spending Christmas with a woman who wasn't his daughter, he had obviously invited me along, but I didn't want to impose. My mom too had invited me to go abroad to Europe with her new husband for the holidays; I had politely declined this offer too.

I had thought that I had found the love of my life in Jacob Black, my soul mate, my lifelong companion, my corresponding puzzle piece, thought he was the only one I would ever want, and that these feelings were mutual, there had never been any sign to suggest otherwise, he had always told me he loved me, we were always so comfortable around each other, how very wrong I turned out to be. I sighed as I thought back over the past few years.

Jacob and I had been best friends since we were little, our dads liking to fish together at weekends always threw us together, not that we minded of course. I think they were both relieved we got on so well considering neither of us had anyone else to go to at the weekends, my mom had left Charlie when I was four, needing space to discover herself, whilst Jacob's dad Billy had been widowed not long after his son's birth. From the age of 5 we were like two peas in a pod, we were each other's best friend, we didn't need anyone else, the other kids tried to become friends with us, but we were so wrapped up in each other we didn't really need them, so after a while they stopped trying. If I fell down, which, coincidently I did, a lot, he would help me right back up, if he fell down I would help him up, if I cried he would embrace me, hold me, tell me it would all be better soon, when he cried I hugged him round his waist and told him it would all get better soon, when I laughed, he laughed, when he laughed, I laughed. It was only when we went to separate high schools that the two of us began making other friends, I met Alice, in my final year at school, her family had moved to Forks when her father got a job as chief of medicine at the hospital, she was the youngest of three, I had only met one of her older brothers, Emmett, he was home for a while before moving in with his girlfriend in Seattle, they had married this spring and were currently on their yearlong honeymoon, her other brother Edward I had yet to meet, from what I gathered he was dedicated and hard working, following in his father's footsteps and becoming a doctor, he was in his first year of med school whilst we were seniors at high school. Over that year Alice became my best friend, she was so much fun to be around, even if she did insist on spending her money on me, and absolutely LOVED shopping, when we realised that we had been accepted to the same university we were both over the moon, she was going to study fashion whilst I was looking forward to studying English literature.

My dad, Charlie, always used to say there was something magical about our relationship, he said we had an innocence that a lot of the other kids had lost, and at times when he would look at me with my girlfriends – especially Alice, or working at my homework, he thought I'd lost it too, that I had grown up, then he said he'd see me with Jake and it would all come back, the carefree atmosphere, the laughing, the joking, no need to worry about anything else. It had seemed a natural progression we'd made from best friends to lovers, he was the first and only person I had ever had sex with, and I had never felt so whole, the love we had for each other ran deep, and after being separated for long periods of time at college, well, me at college and him at home, looking after his dad and opening his own garage, it was all we could do to manage to keep our clothes on long enough to not be arrested for indecent exposure. But in the end, I guess that's all it was for Jake.

Sex on tap.

It became obvious that I felt much more for him than he did for me. I thought the numerous times we had made love were something special, the walks down to La Push beach were special moments between us, that each kiss was sacred and love filled. I was obviously wrong.

I found out at the beginning of this year, just a week before I went back for my final semester at college, I had spent the best part of the week with Charlie, I wouldn't be seeing him again until the summer, and he needed some decent food and quality time with his only daughter, he'd been called out to Port Angeles, some break in or other, so all of a sudden I had a free afternoon, I thought I would swing by the grocery store, pick up a couple of steaks and go through to Jake's and make us a nice dinner, so that's what I did, I quickly showered, and changed into something I knew Jake would like, I wore a hot pink, shiny, lacy bra, and a matching thong, not exactly what you would call classy, but Jake liked it, in fact he had bought it for me, thinking the blues, blacks and whites I usually wore didn't look half as good as some nice "sexy" lingerie. On top of that I pulled on my favourite pair of comfy jeans, and a low cut white tank top, he said he liked me just natural, it made me laugh how he liked my old clothes, that he'd seen me in time after time opposed to the new wardrobe I'd had thrust upon me once I met my roommate Alice at college, most of the time I liked to wear what she chose me, but Jake couldn't stand any of them, something about me not being "his Bella" when I wore them, despite me feeling more confident, and happier with myself when in the clothes Alice chose for me, so I resigned to putting on my old clothes. Once I was changed, hair brushed and made up, I made my way to the store in my trusty old truck, and whipped round the grocery store in record time, I was on my way to La Push not 15 minutes later, eager to see my Jake, it had been a long week without him, his warm embrace, his russet skin, his enthusiasm to do just about anything, no matter how completely crazy. I was excited to see him, looking forward to feeling his skin against mine, hearing his deep, throaty chuckle. I pulled up by the house I had frequented so much as a child and made my way inside, dropping the groceries off in the kitchen on my way to find Jake; where I was met by his wolf-like dog, Max with a friendly yelp, I noticed two half drunk bottles of root beer on the counter, I patted his head and headed towards the lounge where I could hear the murmur of daytime TV, only to find it empty, the small coffee table had been knocked over so it balanced on three legs leaning against the armchair. "Jake?" I called, but received no reply, I laughed to myself thinking he must still be asleep, I remember thinking, god that man could sleep all day given the chance maybe I can wake him up with a long hard kiss, I shivered with anticipation as I pushed open the door to his room, ready to yank back the covers and pounce, but again the room was empty, the only other place he could possibly be was his garage attached to the side of the house, so I went back to the kitchen, grabbed a couple of bottles of beer from the fridge, cracked them open and made my way back outside towards the garage. I heard something crashing to the ground and knew I had found him, no doubt tinkering away on his latest car, my stomach tightened at the thought of him all hot and sweaty, his oh so talented hands covered in oil.

I smiled to myself and pushed the door of the garage open, time seemed to slow down as I took in the scene before me, I wasn't aware of my hands letting go of the beers, which fell to the floor and covered me in their cold brown liquid, I wasn't aware of the sobs building in my chest, the fury balling my fists, the thundering of my heart seemed to fill up the room, but I couldn't take notice of this, all I was aware of was the scene playing out before me, it was like I had walked into a nightmare, and couldn't get away, Jake, my Jake was pounding relentlessly into some blonde haired, tanned, beauty, up against his car, his head thrown back in pleasure as she moaned his name, wrapping her legs around his waist, the shock froze me, all I could do was look on in horror as he fucked this other woman, my brain fumbled over how to speak, how to move, I was numb, I didn't want to watch, but I couldn't tear my eyes away. I eventually found my voice, but it came out no more than a whisper, "Jake." I cleared my throat and tried again, louder this time. "JACOB BLACK" I shocked myself with the harsh sound of my voice. I hadn't called him Jacob in years; he was always Jake to me. His head snapped up, his eyes heavy with lust, the same look in them as they always had when he was about to tumble over the edge, they went as round as saucers when he saw me.

"Shit" he mumbled, moving away from the girl, who made no move to cover herself up.

"Bella...I" He stuttered.

"Save it. I don't want to hear your excuses Jacob." I turned my back on him and walked out of the garage, that was the last time I saw him, or even spoke to him, he had tried to call me, I had ignored him, he had tried to come see me, I made sure he couldn't get into my building, he had tried Charlie, who had kicked him out as fast as he could, he even had the cheek to try Alice, but she gave him a piece of her mind.

As far as I was concerned there was nothing left to say, nothing he could do to make up for the way he had hurt me, the way he had destroyed my soul, I had given myself to him completely, mind body and soul and he had destroyed that, I had trusted him, I had loved him, I would have gone anywhere with him, he was all that mattered to me and he walked all over it and threw it back in my face. I felt worthless, and cheap, was I only there for him to get his kicks? The boy I had grown up with had vanished, this new Jacob was only there to hurt me and to make me realise that I'm not good enough, not good enough to keep a relationship together, not good enough to keep him satisfied, not good enough for anything.

It wasn't until later that I found out the brassy blonde was in fact Lauren Mallory, a girl who I used to go to high school with, she always seemed to have a problem with me. I hadn't recognised her at the time, I was in too much shock, but my friend Seth from the reservation had called me later, he thought it was right I should know. I knew he meant well, but as soon as he told me, I launched myself into the bathroom and threw up, just like I had done when I had first gotten home after seeing them together.

I left that night, I would have left as soon as I had left that garage if it hadn't been for Charlie, my kind, loving father, he hadn't known how to react to my tears, I told him I loved him, and that I would call him when I got back to college, I left him bewildered on the doorstep telling him to call Jacob if he wanted to know why I was leaving. I didn't make it ten miles down the road before I had to pull over because the constant stream of tears was impairing my vision, I clutched to the steering wheel of my truck as if it were a lifeline, the sobs shaking my whole body with their force, I managed to find the strength to fumble through my purse and dig out my cell, I flipped it open, it revealed a photo of Jacob and I kissing on the beach in La Push, the tears flowed relentlessly as I flicked through my phone book to find Alice's number, she picked up on the third ring, laughter tinkling in the background, I couldn't hold back the hysteria as I asked her to come get me, the pain becoming almost unbearable as I sobbed down the phone, trying to explain what had happened. She couldn't understand a word I was saying, and urged me to calm down; I could hear the panic in her voice as she tried to soothe me.

I managed to stifle my cries enough to tell her where I was, she told me she was on her way and less than thirty minutes later she was cradling me in her arms as the sobs rocked my system. I don't know how long we sat there me crying into her chest, her silk shirt getting ruined by my tears, I don't remember her moving me across to the passenger seat, whilst she took over and drove us home, Jasper following in the Mercedes behind us, I don't remember getting into the apartment, or Alice calling my dad, I don't remember much of those first few months to be honest, I as numb, it felt as if I was dying inside, nothing could alleviate the pain I felt, nothing could make me smile, nothing could make me laugh, I couldn't enjoy myself, I couldn't go out with my friends, nothing interested me, when I ate my food I didn't taste it, everything felt numb.

I haven't been back home since that night, the memories still too strong, the pain still too overbearing. I struggled on through that final year, throwing myself into my studies, becoming a recluse, declining offers to go out, only leaving the apartment we shared for class or to go to the store, it was all Alice could do to manage to persuade me to stay with her that summer. I stayed with Alice and her fiancé, Jasper in her family's holiday home in California, when I say home, I mean mansion really, and it was the grandest place I had ever been in.

I had been worried I would be imposing, but she assured me that her eldest brother, Emmett was travelling the world with his new wife Rosalie and her other older brother, Edward was staying in Seattle, it was his first year as a qualified doctor and he wanted to spend as much time as he could getting good experience working in the ER, and her parents would be visiting family friends in Denali.

So Alice, Jasper and I had spent the summer, lounging at the beach, shopping, oh how we shopped, not my favourite activity in the world, but Alice, when it comes to shopping, she's an unstoppable force of nature, but she made sure I never had a spare moment to think of Jacob that summer, that was until the time for sleeping came, and there was no way I could control those dreams, the dreams that had me waking up to a fresh bout of tears, whilst Alice soothed me, night after night. I had apologised time and time again for this, but she insisted that it was no trouble and "that's what friends are for, we take care of each other, and honey, you need taking care of." After the summer I had moved to Seattle, got my own little apartment, it wasn't much, but it was home, Alice's mom Esme was an interior designer and had offered to do it up for me, at no cost, no matter how much I argued she refused to let any money pass between our hands, she had decorated the apartment beautifully, in soft blues and warm creams, the furniture was something else, it looked like it had come straight out of a Hollywood home. I had I got myself a job at a publishing house, just an assistant, to get my foot on the ladder, and hadn't looked back since, but although I did my best to keep everyone from seeing what a mess I really was, how broken up I was, I still found it hard. Very hard. I had imagined my first home to be shared with Jacob, something we bought and did up together, I had imagined us going out to dinner when I got my first proper job and toasting to the future, I had imagined us living together for the rest of our lives, getting married, moving to a bigger home to accommodate for a growing family.

I couldn't bear to be around loving couples, or go to see the latest chick flick at the movies, or read the classic romance novels I had once loved so much, it wasn't that I didn't get asked out by guys, that no one was interested, it wasn't that at all, in my first week at work I got asked out three times, and whenever Alice and I go out to hit the town I get asked out, but I just can't go there. I can't let someone into my heart again just to get hurt, I can't give someone my trust only to have them throw it right back at me, but I put on a brave face, and things are getting better now, for one, the dreams have almost stopped, they only happen three or four times a month now, rather than every night. I started reading my well thumbed copy of Wuthering Heights, and have just about managed the first three chapters, and it's much easier for me to be around loved up couples, which coincidently brings me back to the task at hand.

I turned the corner onto the next street; already I could feel the dread filling me, the tightening of my chest, the rapid breaths as I saw the sign for the store ahead of me: Blushing Bride. I felt the panic and the pain taking over me with each step I took closer to the door.

Alice and Jasper are getting married next spring, and as Maid of Honour it was my duty to help Alice with the whole wedding, and today, well today it all really started, we were going dress hunting, for not only Alice's dress but my own as well, I knew Alice had been putting this off, and had been easing me into the idea of her wedding, and I felt insanely guilty that my best friend was putting off her wedding plans because of me, so last week I sucked it up, I invited Alice round and cooked us up some dinner and gave my apologies, which of course Alice being Alice completely rebuffed, said I had no reason to be sorry and launched right into setting the date for this little outing, completely unaware of my inner turmoil, the pain that words like wedding bought to me, the way my heart felt as if it was being crushed.

I approached the front of the shop and took a deep breath, willing myself to look into the large windows filled with beautiful gowns, I felt my heart twinge as unwanted memories filled my head, all the times I had imagined myself in a dress like these, walking down an aisle to meet Jacob. I immediately pushed those thoughts out of my head and plastered a smile on to my face; I pushed the heavy oak door open, a bell tinged softly above me alerting the staff to my presence. The spacious room was floored with a plush deep pink carpet, the walls a delicate shade of cream, a long sweeping counter took up one of the walls, endless racks of dresses were filling the outsides of the large room, along with a lot of ivory lingerie, leaving a wide waiting area in front of the desk, doorways led off from strategic points around the room, no doubt leading off to the numerous changing rooms, and more dresses, I could hear the laughter and gushing of one bride to be already, I was a little early, so I made my way over to the waiting area and sat down on one of the large over filled vintage looking sofas, I sat down and looked around the room once again, the joyous laughter of the unknown bride to be continually assaulting my ears.

I concentrated on keeping my breathing even, not letting the panic of being in a place like this overcome me, in 2,3,4 out 2,3,4 in 2,3,4 out 2,3,4 images of Jacob and Lauren, against the hood of his car were swimming before my eyes, in 2,3,4 out 2,3,4 in 2,3,4 out 2,3,4 I could feel the ache of my heart move from being dull to a throbbing pain, I shouldn't have come here today, too soon flashed through my mind, I wrapped my arms around myself, holding together the hole Jacob had created when he betrayed me, in 2,3,4 out 2,3,4 in 2,3,4 out 2,3,4 I hadn't just lost my lover, I'd lost my all time best friend, I couldn't be here today, I wasn't ready, in 2,3,4 out 2,3,4 in 2,3,4 out 2,3,4 I would tell Alice, then go, but as the bell on the door jangled and I saw the excited face of my best friend coming into the store, those thoughts vanished, I felt immediately selfish, I pushed the hurtful images to the back of my mind, locking them away until later that night when I knew the dream would come out in full force, and plastered a huge smile on my face, "Alice." I called standing up and walking towards her, she squealed like a teenage girl and we embraced, her mood was infectious and I found myself becoming absorbed into her excitement.

"Ladies, welcome to Blushing Bride my name is Clarisa, how may I be of service to you today?" A tall, raven haired woman said, with what I supposed was meant to be a "winning" smile.

"Hi!" Alice exclaimed. "I'm Alice Brandon, and this is Bella, my maid of honour, I believe we spoke on the phone, I requested that we get a whole suite to ourselves this afternoon?"

The woman smiled, "Ahh yes, I remember, well we just have one client finishing off in the other room, she took much longer than we had anticipated, though I can assure you she will be no longer than an hour or two at the most"

"That's fine." Alice smiled, though I could see the tightness in the corner of her eyes that said it really wasn't all fine, "Bring on the gowns" she laughed happily. She placed a hand softly on my arm and looked at me to see if I was okay, I could see the concern lingering behind her excitement, I smiled at her reassuringly.

We were led through one of the side doors into a large room, mirrors adorned three of the four walls, a circular podium stood in the middle of the dusky pink room, there was a table to one side holding a large vase of pink roses and a bottle of French Champaign, tall crystal glasses stood proudly besides it. I feel myself begin to relax, the tension in my shoulders lessens somewhat as I listen to Alice's description of the type of dress she wants. "I want something simple, yet grand, slinky and sleek yet princess like, I want something full bodied with as little extra material as possible, it's got to be white, definitely, hmm, or maybe ivory...oooh gold would be nice,"

I laughed at her completely anal description, and the bemused expression on Clarisa's face.

"So, basically Alice, you want all the brides' gowns in here?" I laughed.

"Oh no Bella, don't be ridiculous" she chastised "I want all the maid of honour gowns too!" her face was all lit up and excited like a child's on Christmas morning, I suppressed a groan and reminded myself that this was Alice's day and I would not ruin it by letting my feelings about Jacob get in the way, I pushed back all the negative memories that flooded my vision to be stored away for the remainder of the day, I took a deep breath and smiled.1 "Bring on the gowns"2

Alice's smile could have lit up the room, a little of my pain was so worth it to see her this happy, she had taken so much care of me over the last ten months, she had given up going out to stay in with me, she had taken care of me when I needed her most, she truly was my guardian angel, except maybe not that much of an angel, more like pixie.

Clarisa left the room to go get the dresses whilst we were waiting Alice poured us both a tall glass of sparkling Champaign, it tasted heavenly, not too dry, not too sweet, just the way I liked it.

"Ladies, ladies, ladies, I almost forgot!" Clarisa said wheeling in a long rack of dresses, followed by three other women pushing in equally large racks, two held bridal gowns, whilst the other held maid of honour gowns. "You'll need to have some shoes to try on with the dresses, not necessarily the ones you will buy, just for the height for now. What sizes are you?" she smiles. We tell her and she darts back out of the door, I turn to face Alice wondering where we will start but her nimble fingers are already weaving through the dresses, I could hear her murmuring to herself, "No, no, oh god, do they really think I want to look like a whore? Hmm maybe, oooh now I didn't think about silver that's interesting, noooo, no, no that's not so bad, maybe if you shortened the train? What do you think Bella?" she turns to face me with an expectant look on her face.

"I, well, the white one is nice?" it ends up coming out more of a question than an answer. She looks stunned for a moment, then laughs, the bell like sound filling the room; I can't help but join in with her. Clarisa returns and gives us each a pair of shoes, I eye mine wearily, unsure as to whether I'd even be able to stand in them let alone walk.

An hour later, and about ten million dresses, Alice and I have decided on at least one gown, my maid of honour gown, it couldn't be more perfect, it was a floor length satin gown, in a delicate shade of ice blue, it clung to my every curve perfectly, falling to the floor gracefully, the cups on the chest were delicately pleated, showing an ample amount of cleavage, the waist section adorned with sparkling sequins, which extend on to the straps of the dress and the low cut back, where the straps crossed leaving most of my back bare, it complemented my skin wonderfully, and for a first time in a long while I actually felt beautiful.

Despite already choosing my dress, both Alice and I continued to try on numerous dresses, laughing and joking as we try on some of the most ridiculous dresses I have ever seen, my personal favourite was one that Alice tried on, she looked like an overgrown Barbie. It was hot pink and sparkly silk, covered in sequins, the bodice was tight and synched her already tiny waist in, the skirt was full, and when I say full I mean very full, meringue style, it had about five layers of netting before the dress jutted out from her hips in an array of pink and glitter, the site of her tiny frame surrounded by all that extra material made me laugh more than I have in months, she barely visible beneath the masses of silk.

Equally bad was the "This season's hottest look" maid of honour gown I tried on, if you could even call it a gown that is. It was crimson shiny satin, incredibly tight fitting, it showed up every unwanted lump and bump, the neckline plunged to almost my navel and the dress actually finished just above my thighs, it wouldn't have looked out of place on a stripper.

We laughed so much we cried trying on these hideous dresses; it was the most I'd laughed in a hell of a long time, it shocked me how strange it felt to laugh, and how easily it came after all this time.

We tried on dress after hideous dress, taking photos with Alice's tiny digital camera, posing like they do in the movies, the champagne flowed and our laughter got louder and louder as the afternoon wore on, I was surprised at how easy it had been, having fun, how natural it was to be like this with Alice, all my fears seemed to have left me the moment she came through the door, but something at the back of my mind reminded me that this day of fun would come back to bite me on the ass whilst I slept later that night.

Eventually Alice found the dress of her dreams. It was ivory form fitting silk, it had a soft square cut neckline, with slightly off the shoulder straps, the bust was adorned with tiny diamonds, it flared out gently from the waist leading to a short train, it fit her like a glove, and she looked absolutely beautiful. She made me put my chosen dress back on all over again to see how we looked together, the contrast of the blue and the ivory was beautiful.

"Now, Alice" I said warningly "This dress is perfect for you, but it won't be all that perfect if you don't have the right lingerie and as I am you maid of honour, I have decided that it will be down to me to choose you the most perfect lingerie for your wedding night." I smiled, Alice laughed.

"Bella, you and your lingerie fetish, I swear it's the only thing you've let me buy you without complaint."

I felt my cheeks reddening.

"Fetish?" I scoffed. "I don't have a fetish! You know as well as I do that if you wear well made lingerie you feel more confident on the outside, it doesn't matter if nobody sees it, because well, you know you're wearing it and it makes you feel all sexy."

Alice just laughed at me.

"Oh come on Alice, please, let me choose, you know I have a knack for it!" I put on my best imitation of her puppy dog face.

"Bella, you know I'm just teasing, you can go ahead and choose me some lingerie, I'll wait here and talk adjustments with the seamstress, and I want to take a look at complimenting waist coats for Jasper, Emmett and Edward, I still can't believe he chose two best men. Hmmm, maybe I should give Rose a call, I'm sure she would love to be a bridesmaid" She paused thoughtfully. "Anyway, then when you get back we can see if your dress needs altering."Alice said; the hint of a bemused grin on her face.

I made my way back through to where I had seen the racks of expensive looking lingerie earlier that day, I could hear the murmuring of the other bride who was here when we had arrived, she had obviously taken much longer than two hours, we had arrived at 11 am and it was now, I checked my watch, holy shit it was 5.30 already.

I decided it was probably best not to tell Alice that the store hadn't complied with her wishes, we didn't want a bride-zilla on our hands.

As I got closer to the lingerie section the murmuring became louder and I could see a silhouette of a woman behind one of the many racks of lacy underwear talking into a cell phone.

I came to the first rack and began to look through; there were some of the most beautiful pieces I had ever seen. I ran my hands gently over the front of a bejewelled Basque, trying to concentrate on the articles in front of me rather than the bride's phone call, I couldn't help but overhear.

"Do you want to know what I'm wearing right now baby?" a short pause came.

"You are a naughty boy aren't you" the bride giggled. "I'm wearing a sheer white push up bra, just the type you like; it's all lacy and see through." There was a longer pause this time as I tried not to listen to the sex talk of the bride oblivious to my presence. I admired a complete set, it was ivory silk, the bra was a balcony style cup, with little daisies adorning the tops of the cups, and it was paired with matching French panties, the back of them made from lace, one tiny daisy rested in the centre of them.

"JAKEY!" The bride giggled, she had a very nasal voice, something about it was familiar, I couldn't place where from.

"You are a bad man, mmm you want to do what to me?" the voice purred.

I really didn't want to listen to this one sided sex show if was going to continue on, I decided that I should make myself known, somehow. I had finished looking through the first rack of underwear and started making my way over to the second, not looking where I was going, my attention focused on the silhouette of the woman as I tried to figure out why she sounded so familiar.

Before I knew what was happening I had tripped right over my own feet and crashed into the rack of underwear knocking some of the expensive pieces off in the process and landing with a thud.

I heard the click-clacking of the woman's shoes as she came to see what all the commotion was, I tried to get up, but my heel was all wrapped up in the fallen lingerie, I fumbled around trying to free myself as the sound of the woman's heels got closer and closer to me, any second now she would be able to see me, all knotted up on the floor, I felt my cheeks flame as that thought occurred to me.

"Jakey, baby, I'll call you right back, something just came up."

I looked up in horror at the woman staring down on me, contemptuous look on her face. I would know that brassy blonde hair anywhere, the orange tan, and the sneer on her face. Lauren Mallory stood before me in the skimpiest lingerie I have ever seen.

The conversation I had just overheard seemed to play itself back in my mind double speed. "I'm wearing a sheer white push up bra, just the type you like; it's all lacy and see through." "JAKEY!" "Jakey, baby, I'll call you right back, something just came up." "JAKEY!" JAKEY!" "JAKEY" Her voice echoed in my head.

Jakey...Jake...My Jacob.

Horror pulsed through my veins as my eyes slipped to her left hand, it right there on her fourth finger, taunting me, a sleek gold band, a large pear shaped diamond set in the middle, leering at me.

"Bella Swan" she said, her voice laced with malice as I made my way to my feet. "Fall down again? I see some things never change." Rage pooled deep inside me as she stood there mocking me, trying to make me feel inferior.

I stood up and squared my shoulders. She had no right to make me feel like this.

"Lauren" I said coolly. "What a surprise to see you, of all people here, I thought you were only happy when you were fucking someone else's boyfriend?"

"Ugh, so bitter Bella, it's not my fault you weren't good enough for Jake, that you couldn't satisfy his needs."

"You really are a bitch you know that right?"

"Ooh, touched a nerve have we Bella?"

"You can go right to hell where you belong Lauren, what me and Jacob had was ten times more than you could ever have with him, we were best friends for years before we became lovers."

"You may have been friends all that time, but believe me, when you guys got together or whatever he was already sleeping with me!"

"You're lying" I choked, tears threatening to leak from my eyes.

She looked at me with a cruel smile.

"Awww did ikkle Bella think she was Jakey Wakey's first sex like she was his?" she mocked.

My cheeks flamed, hot tears splashing down my cheeks, I wiped them away furiously.

"Oh" she laughed "You did, how cute. Bet you didn't know that after you had gone home that night Jake came over to mine to get some real satisfaction, he couldn't get over how "wooden" you were, said that you had no clue how to please a man. I for one don't blame him for coming to me night after night, especially after mediocre sex."

"YOU'RE A FUCKING WHORE!" I shouted at her.

"Oooh harsh words there Bella, what you gonna do next? Throw your pacifier at me?" She laughed.

My body was trembling with the sobs that I was so desperately trying to stifle, I couldn't find it in me to retort.

"Oh look, she's crying. How sad." She mocked. "Can I tell you something Bella, a secret, it's real good, I promise."

She took my silence as permission to go on.

"Everyone else knew. Jess knew, Leah knew, so did Quill, Embry and Sam. Oh and Emily and Paul. They were all laughing at you behind your back as Jake told them all about your "love making" and when you went away to college for your final year Jake told me when you finished the following summer he was leaving you and they all knew this; everyone was laughing over poor clueless Bella. You just weren't worth the hassle; Jake couldn't be bothered with you. You're not good enough for anyone. Just not worth it." She laughed, and held her left hand out in front of her, showing me her large ring. "Then three weeks after you left Jake proposed, and obviously I said yes, why wouldn't I? He is a fantastic lover, knows every position in the book, only you wouldn't know that would you? Boring Bella only likes boring sex-"

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP YOU BITCH!" I screamed at her. I raised my right hand and slapped her with as much force as I could muster, she staggered back, shocked. I turned my back on her and stumbled across the plush room to the door way, I wrenched the door open and lurched out into the busy street, tears obscuring my view, I staggered around grief taking me over, and I tripped off the edge of the pavement, I threw my hands out in front of me to break my fall, I heard the squealing of tires, the loud honking of a horn and then it all went black.

APOV

I am sooo happy, Bella has done so well today, when I walked in this morning and saw her looking so scared I wanted to leave immediately, but I knew she needed this, she has to move on and get over Jacob, that bastard, the time for being all nicey nicey is way over, it sounds awful but Bella really just has to suck it up now and get back out there, don't get me wrong I love Bella so much all I want is for her to be happy and she won't be happy until she starts going out again and meeting new people, possible dates.

"Do you think I could see this in the ice blue, the same as the maid of honour gown we've chosen?" I ask Clarisa, none of the waist coats I've been looking at seem right for Jasper, but Edward would look good in the blue next to Bella in the line up, and then Emmett and Rose could be matching too, and I could have Jasper's waist coat Ivory like my dress.

Ahh my dress, it's one of the most beautiful dresses I have ever seen, I don't think I could have designed a better one myself. We're getting it shortened by a fair amount because it swamps me at the moment, but it will be perfect when it's finished, ooh I really can't wait.

Just as Clarisa comes back in the room with a sample of the material we're interrupted by shouting.

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! YOU BITCH!" I hear Bella scream.

"What the hell?" I ask to nobody in particular. I'd been so caught up in choosing the material for the waist coats I hadn't noticed how long Bella had been.

I hop off the podium in the centre and rush towards her voice, I come into the room just in time to see her launch a slap right into the face of some blonde woman, then stumble away, it was only then that I noticed who the blond was and I was seething, this place was meant to be empty, all apart from Bella and I and there stood in nothing but slutty lingerie is Lauren Mallory. I march right over to her, and stand in front of her.

"What the hell did you say to her?" I demand

She looks at me with pure malevolence etched on her unfortunate looking face.

"I just told her a few home truths; it's not my fault she took them as an insult."

"You really are a heartless cow Lauren Mallory and I hope you're happy with yourself, you and Jacob have just about torn her to pieces and now you're content to kick her while she's down." I snarled and turned my back on her to chase after Bella out the front of the store.

Time seemed to stop still as I stood in the doorway to the store, Bella was stumbling towards the road, her head down, I could see she was falling apart in front of my eyes; I made to move towards her as she tripped and fell off the pavement into the path of an oncoming car.

"BELLA!" I scream as I watch her hit the hood and get thrown up into the air, she hits the road with an almighty smack as I race towards her.

"Call 999 someone call 999!" I shout at the people around me.

"BELLA!" I push my way past the people that have moved to help, when I catch sight of her I begin to sob hysterically, I can feel a strangers arms trying to pull me back, but I manage to break away. "BELLA!"

I fall to my knees in front of her unmoving body. Blood everywhere, her body contorted at an odd angle. I wrap my arms around her unmoving body and cradle her head against my knees, blood is pooling from her head. I can't contain the sobs that shake my body as I hold her broken form. I can hear myself saying her name over and over again, but can't bring myself to stop; I begin to rock her body in my arms, like you would a child.

I don't register the sound of the ambulance speeding towards us, or the gentle arms trying to pry me away from Bella's limp body, all that matters is her, keeping her alive, all of a sudden the basic first aid training Carlisle had given me as a teenager comes flooding back, as these things do in an emergency and I lean my face towards hers; listening for any signs of her breathing, my ear by her mouth, I can feel a faint whisper of a breath. My hands fumble for her pulse; it's staggering, growing fainter and fainter.

"Please, Bella, please don't die." I find myself pleading with her. "I'm sorry I bought you here, so sorry, I knew you weren't really ready and I went ahead anyway, I'm so sorry Bella, please don't die."

The ambulance screeches to a stop besides me, the paramedics attempt to unwrap my arms from Bella's torso, and I slowly relent to their force.

I watch as they strap her head then attach her to a stretcher and load her carefully into the ambulance, one of the paramedics helps me into the back and I sit alongside Bella as they work on her, pumping oxygen into her rapidly fading body. It all becomes a blur; I sit there mindlessly as they continue to work over her body, they're asking me who she is, what happened, I'm too shocked to give a coherent answer at first but I eventually manage to tell them Charlie's phone number.

Before I know it the ambulance has arrived at the hospital, they're rushing through the double doors. My eyes search frantically around the room, until I meet a pair of startled green eyes. The ones I know will be able to save her.

"Edward." I sob as my feet give way beneath me.