"Oh fuck, where the hell am I and why do I feel like I was hit by a god damn semi?" was screamed into the open air of the forest, scaring away a flock of birds and any other creature within a hundred foot radius of said screaming object. The object in question, a person really, was our poor heroin of this tale. Jessica was a truly average girl, if being a flaming lesbian with a love for the booty and thighs that won't quit is considered normal. It would not be that bad, waking up in the middle of the forest, if it was not for the fact that Jessica was waking up in the forest with a hangover to kill all hangovers. Dressed in leather mini-shorts, a black halter top, and a leather short jacket with rolled sleeves she looked like a picture with the mussed hair full of twigs and leaves, a missing boot, and torn net stockings. Sleeping in the forest after a night of hard partying will do that to a person, that didn't make it any more tolerable in Jessica's eyes.
Her twenty-first birthday was yesterday, the fifth of May, and her friends decided she needed to go out and get stinking drunk. Hitting up every club and bar within a thirty mile radius had not been Jessica's brightest moment. Her girlfriend Pamela didn't join them sadly, leaving Jessica to wallow in her misery of having a younger girlfriend who refused to break the rules. It was fine though cause Pam had an ass the wouldn't quit and knew about that spot behind Jess's knee, but that was beside the point. Jessica was racking her brain trying to remember what happened. "I went to the bars," she started "and after we got kicked out of Smokez we were walking home." Jessica started to scratch at her head "What the fuck happened after that, I think I fell in a mother fucking puddle of some shit. Did those bitches drop me in a national park? Hell if I remember shit, my head hurts, god damn hangover, I swear to never drink again" She rambled as she stumbled through the dense woods surrounding her. As the impractically dressed girl grumbled and groaned she began to limp in the direction she chose, not that she knew where she was going with the big ass trees around her.
Along the way, with a generous sprinkling of creative and physically impossible curses, Jessica found her missing boot with a squirrel nesting in it. That was not a fun battle for the poor girl and she had to dislodge the damn thing and shake out her boot vigorously to remove the debris collected in it. After a few hours the dirty and now very pissed girl was able to find a small stream. The girl was starting to become suspicious she wasn't in New York anymore; there was no forest this big anywhere close to where she and the girls had been partying.
Dropping down by the stream Jessica began to pluck the stray leaves and twigs from her now dirty and very disheveled brown locks, the hair spray caused the stubborn debris to practically glue itself to her poor hair. Soon Jessica became frustrated and just dunked her head into the water. "Get out of my hair you damn twigs" was all but screamed as she started to pull at her hair. After what felt like hours for the poor girl, but was really five minutes, her hair was clear of the natural debris, it was also soaking wet and matted to hell, but she could deal with that later. Taking off her now painful boots and soaking her feet in the cool stream was the next action Jessica took, as she didn't know how long she would need to walk to get out of this natural hell, but she knew blisters would not make life easier.
"Fucking hell, I swear when I get out of this damn forest I will kill those ass-wipes with my bare hands."
Lying back on the grass with her feet splashing away Jessica didn't know how long she was there, but when it started to get dark she became worried. What if she was lost, where were her friends, better yet where was she. These were questions the brunette wanted answers to, but could find no hint anywhere of her location. Setting up a shelter was difficult to say the least, for a city girl who had never been camping Jessica liked to say she did a great job, but her lean-to of fallen branches (Holy Fuck, this is bigger than a black porno dick!) and vines she pulled from the surrounding greenery (Wonder if Pam would let me tie her up sometime?) wouldn't last the night.
Closing her eyes to a restless sleep with a grumbling belly and shivering limbs Jessica prayed to whatever deity that would listen that she would survive the night. As the dull grey eyes drooped in sleep, Jessica listened to the surrounding fauna and cursed every damn creature she heard. "Tomorrow I will make a soup out of every one of you and eat you all in one big gulp." With those final angry words Jessica was taken into a very uncomfortable and cold sleep.
First Chapter of my first attempt at a Naruto fanfiction with an oc as the main character. Please review and tell me any mistakes you notice.
