"Gon, would you mind if I stay by your side forever?"
Killua stood solemnly, his face unreadable. The Chimera ants were gone, they'll never return, but the way that Gon laid there on the hospital bed almost lifeless stopped his beating heart for a mere moment. The piercing guilt penetrated through his heart, he felt so guilty for everything. Killua wanted to hit himself over and over again for not being there with his one and only best friend. He knows that Gon chose to fight Neferpitou himself for revenge.
Sometimes, Killua wondered if Kite was worth killing for. Killua berated himself for thinking that way, he knows that Gon loved Kite as his friend, brother, comrade- it hurts him and Gon doesn't know it. Even when Gon saved Killua from killing himself, for which he was grateful for- it just causes him so much pain. Gon was able to save him, why couldn't he save Gon?
It was unfair. He wanted to yell at Gon for being so reckless; so stupid that he almost killed himself in the process. He wanted to yell at himself more. He couldn't even protect his best friend. All the time that they had spent with each other, even when they promised they'll never leave each other and will always be side by side, it just couldn't happen- couldn't it? He loved Gon. The moment he met him, he always did.
"Gon..." Killua whispered ever so quietly. Unknowingly, warm wet tears slid down from his pale cheeks. He shook as he cried feverishly. Sobbing into the sheets that covered Gon's limp body.
The repeats of "Gon. Gon. Gon. Gon" echoed in the lonely room.
Killua held Gon's bandaged hand with shakiness. He looks at the covered face, he wouldn't see that smile for a long time. He wanted to scream; cry as loud as he can, yet he didn't. He didn't want Gon to die.
Gon was light.
Killua gaze at Gon's form once again and said, "Gon, would you mind if I stayed by your side forever?"
Gon doesn't hear him.
"Don't go."
Gon doesn't hear his plea.
"I can't live without you."
Gon will never hear his plea.
After all, Gon is just a dead person at the moment.
Bisky lightly laid her hand on Killua's shoulder. She cast a heartbroken look at her former student. Killua turns his head back to catch Bisky's eyes. He knows that he will have to leave Gon, it wasn't the other way around. It's for Gon's own good.
He was led towards the door, Killua takes a glance back.
It will be a long time when he'll see Gon again, he knows.
