Luigi woke to a shining sun and gleefully chirping birds. He smiled, stretched, and rolled out of bed. You see, he had a feeling that this particular day was going to be extraordinary. He fairly skipped to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and-

"AAAAARGH!"

There was a stranger in the bathroom! He had a scraggly beard, piercing blue eyes, a huge nose, and… Wait… OMG.

Luigi tentatively extended his left arm. The person in the mirror did the same. Luigi let out a strangled whimper. He had just shaved yesterday, and now he had a three inch beard! What was happening to him?

Mario would know. Mario always knew what to do.

Luigi burst out of the bathroom, ran down the hall, and threw open Mario's bedroom door. "Mari- Oh my Gawd." Mario, still snoring, was sporting a long scruffy beard exactly like his brother's.

At this point, Luigi started freaking out. "Mario!" he screamed. "Get the hell up!"

With a loud snort, Mario sat up. "What?" he moaned, blearily glancing at the alarm clock. "Luigi, what the hell are you bothering me for? It's only 7 in the morning!" Then he saw Luigi's bearded face. "Whoa, bro. You really need to shave. Having a beard is bad for business; it scares all the kiddies."

"For God's sake Mario!" shouted Luigi. "I just shaved yesterday! And look!" He shoved a mirror in Mario's face.

"What the-? Oh, crap."

There was a moment of grim silence. Finally, Luigi spoke up. "So, what are we going to do?"

"What do you think?" Mario growled. "We're going to shave, you idiot."

"Oh. Yeah, why didn't I think of that?"

Mario and Luigi went into their separate bathrooms to shave. Luigi cut himself 11 times. The sounds of Luigi's pain rang through the halls. "Ouch! Ooh! Eee! Aah! Nngh!"

When the brothers emerged from their bathrooms, Luigi's face was covered in little pieces of tissue.

"Luigi," Mario began, "you-"

"Don't you say another word," Luigi said grouchily.

"Whatever. I'm going to get dressed and go out."



"Fine by me," Luigi grumped. He shambled to the living room and flopped into his favorite green arm chair. As he stared at nothing in particular, he began to think. This was not at all unusual for Luigi, although Mario might tell you otherwise.

It really was weird how he had grown a full beard overnight. What was even weirder was how Mario had the same problem. Just what had caused this? Beards didn't just mosey on through the door and plaster themselves to people's faces. Maybe the sudden growth in facial hair had been caused by one of those sketchy mushrooms that Mario liked to put into their pasta. Luigi never liked them, but Mario insisted.

Luigi's reverie was interrupted when Mario strode through the living room.

"Seeya Luigi," Mario called as he made his way toward the door. "I'm going to Peach's place for some cake."

Luigi turned around.

"Mario!" he screeched. "Wait!"

"What do you want now?" Mario asked irritably. Then his eyes widened.

"You've got stubble!" the brothers shouted at each other.

Luigi put his hand to his cheek; it was rough.

"No frickin' way," Mario whispered hoarsely.

They both rushed to Mario's bathroom and peered into the mirror. Sure enough, both of their faces were covered with a light dusting of grey.

"Oh. My. God," Luigi murmured. He glanced at Mario's reflection. "Mario! Look at your hair!"

Just in front of his ears, Mario had a few silver hairs.

This definitely wasn't right. Healthy 27-year-olds didn't start going grey. People didn't get stubble in a matter of moments. What the hell was going on?

Mario gulped. "I think we'd better call someone."