CPOV
Once upon a time it was a rainy day in forks. Everyones favorite vampire family was just hanging out. Trying to avoid letting Emmett get a hold on any sharp objects. Your usual vampire day in forks. Their normal day, as normal as it can get, was interrupted when I entered the room. Everyone got quiet. Except for Emmett, who being Emmett bowed down chanting 'funny british dude' I turned to everyone.
"Now that you mention funny dude. I no longer work at the hospital."
"What!" Everyone shouted in unison.
"How will we pay for my obviously untreated shopping addiction?" Alice screeched.
"How will we pay for all my video games?" Emmett inquired.
"Why is Emmett using the word inquired?" Edward asked.
"Why is everyone being so stupid?" Rosalie asked in her indifferent tone.
"Will everyone just let me speak." I shouted. Making Emmett run behind a chair and begin bawling.
"The reason I no longer work at the hospital is because I have found a new life dream. To become a clown. I shall be known as C.C."
"What does C.C. Stand for?" Everyone asked.
"Carlisle the clown duh." I said, it was so obvious.
"CARLISLE HOW COULD YOU?" Jasper screamed running up the stairs. We all heard him go into his happy corner and he started sobbing.
"Look what you've done Carlisle! You know his phobia of clowns!" Alice said disapprovingly.
"Oh." Everyone said in unison.
"Uh, well Jasper I'm sorry…" Carlisle said sheepishly.
"HOW COULD YOU BE SO SELFISH? I'M NEVER TALKING TO YOU AGAIN!" Jasper sobbed hysterically from upstairs.
Carlisle looked up the stairs and shrugged it off.
"Now my first gig is tomorrow at the zoo. I hope you are all supportive of my decision now excuse me I have a bow tie fitting to attend."
Everyone was quite until Emmett spoke up.
"Let's just hope he doesn't have a giraffe for lunch."
Then they all just looked at him funny as he burst out laughing.
"Wait a minute! I said something funny!" Emmett said happily.
"Now that kinda ruined it." Bella said.
"Way to ruin the mood Emmett." Alice added. Wait a minute! Shouldn't she be comforting Jasper?
"Esme! They're making fun of me!" Emmett complained.
"Oh Emmie dear, they are kinda right…" Esme replied softly.
"Score one for us!" Bella and Alice high fived.
Emmett ran up the stairs to join Jasper in the happy corner. You could soon hear the signs of a struggle.
"I'M IN MORE EMOTIONAL STRIFE THEN YOU ARE EMMETT! GET OUT!" Jasper shouted at Emmett.
"LIKE YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT STRIFE MEANS!" Wow. That was Emmett's big come back. And Emmett shouldn't be talking about not knowing what words mean considering he has the IQ of a pre-schooler. On a good day.
After a few more minutes of struggle, Jasper successfully kicked Emmett out of the happy place. Typical, Emmett can't win anything.
Emmett walked down the stairs and quietly sat down on the couch. Everyone looked at him. He pouted.
"Well I better be going, I don't want to be late!" I said excitedly.
It's not everyday that a man gets to live out his life long dream.
"Emmett why are you staring at the wall?" Edward asked.
"Sh. He is not a wall. He is Billy Bob Joe. He is my best friend and teaches me all I know." Emmett responded.
"Oh so you mean like in that movie the last mimzy." Bella commented.
"Yes that is my all time favorite. Billy Bob Joe knew that because he read my mind." Emmett said.
"Emmett you do know that is my job right?" Edward commented.
"No it isn't you just pretend because you are jealous of Billy Bob Joe. You ask him for all the answers." Emmett said.
"Okay Emmett we get it." I told him.
Then he got up and ran off screaming scary creepy looking british clown.
I just shook my head.
"Well I guess I am off to the zoo."
Once again all credit goes to Mountain Dew.
And this was co-written with Klutzygirl34.
