Aizen was in a serious predicament. Which sushi should he have-salmon or lobster? Usually he went with lobster. It was more expensive than salmon so he could show of his unlimited credit card. Today, he was undecided. Salmon was orange, and reminded him of Ichigo. It would be like killing Ichigo slowly and painfully…but then lobster, on the other hand, was red, and reminded him of the blood that would drip in a lovely rhythm from his victims. What to choose?
"Salmon or lobster?" he asked absentmindedly, not talking to anyone in particular.
"Salmon," Gin said, not thinking about a Lieutenant with orange hair and a fondness for sake. Aizen sighed. He should have known better than to ask the fox for help on anything related to that particular Shinigami mentioned earlier. He didn't think he could take much more of the bras Gin had stolen…
"The path of justice points me towards lobster," Tousen said without being asked. Once again, Aizen sighed. Why had he picked those to rebel with quite possibly the worst choice of Captains when where were so much more variety to choose from? Oh wait, Yamamoto was an old geezer, Soi Fon was obsessed with Yoruichi, Unohana was too scary, Byakuya had a ten mile pole up his ass, Kommamura was just…not really in the Bleach plotline, Shunsui was a drunkard, Hitsuguya…well lets say that he just doesn't really like him, Kenpachi was self explanatory, Mayuri was a clown that had a creepy obsession with dissecting things, and Ukitake…actually, Ukitake was actually normal compared to the other Captains. Then again, he did have an unhealthy interest in pressing candy on a poor little midget we all know and fan girl over…
So of course, he, Aizen Sosuke, was left with only two choices there were relatively sane…at least he hoped so. With frustration, he realized that he was getting of topic and ranting to himself.
Salmon or lobster? He seriously had no clue. If he picked salmon, Grimmjow would think he picked it because he was taking sympathy on him for wanting to kill a certain Strawberry. That wouldn't be good because it would only encourage the already raging yaoi fans centered on Aizen/Grimmjow. But then lobster…what if the woman took offense and thought that he was trying to demote her confidence by insinuating that he could eat her for breakfast? He shuddered at the mental image of Orihime force feeding him a freshly baked batch of her 'best' cooking. The thoughts spun around in his head, jumbling it up like a twenty by twenty rubix cube that someone switched the stickers around on.
Really, people should take it easier on him; always expecting him to come up with the perfect evil plan, expecting his hair to always have that perfect Superman look (did they know how long it took to get it that way or how long he had to practice for the precise moment of when the Menos lifted them skyward, and how to get that superior godlike look just right), and always expecting that he come up with a perfect plan B in addition to another plan C-as if it wasn't hard enough to plot with a greasy little fox and a justice obsessed freak. Being a god was a lot harder than it looked.
In the end, he went with salmon. Having more yaoi fiction about him and Grimmjow was better than having to endure that woman's wasabi and tomato pudding again. Right?
A/N: This is inspired by a bleach funny video. Enjoy the story. More hilarity to come. Have fun! This is written by both Demon-Pixie and The Eville Pie. We share profiles.
Parody Thingy:
Demon-Pixie: That was fun!
Pie: Yeah.
Aizen: How dare you make use of my mastermind like it was a mere toy for you insipid little brats!
Pie: Yes, we dare.
Demon-Pixie: And we'll be making even more use of your 'mastermind' later. (air quotes around mastermind)
Aizen: Suddenly, I feel somewhat scared.
Pie and Demon-Pixie: *grins like the little devils they are*
Aizen had run away screaming. We apologize all Aizen fan girls and 'politely' demand you to get a life.
