Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor do I own any of the characters. As for those I do own I wish I'd never created. I feel dirty now. So dirty... Editor's Note: Little Brothers should not be drinking after bed time.

The Origins of Youth

Somewhere in a disturbingly bright room:

"Yes! I have done it! I have created the dreadful youth Disease!! Now to carefully put it into the unbreakable container and send it to Orochimaru-sama!" As Amatchi was walking to the table across the room He tripped over an object the mysteriously appeared after seeing a strange yellow flash. "What? NO! If that virus gets out it could destroy the world!" Yells Amatchi as he sees a strange blonde haired child in a white cape running away laughing.

After this was said a konoha jounin stops his search for the sannin's missing student and says, "Yosh, I shall stop this calamity or I will run ten thousand laps around Konoha!" As the jounin dives to save the jar he realizes too late that he is still wearing his five hundred pound weights and that the container clearly states 'Maximum Weight capacity = approx.100 pounds' Adding to this the fact that he and the jar are falling toward the ground and he is going to land on it … well you get the picture.

As the jar hits the ground, and is subsequently hit by the jounin, a light as brilliant as the sun is released. When it dies down a horrendous sight is revealed. The jounin has been transformed into a monstrous creature. One that shall from here on be known as Gai. When staring at the creature, the first thing noticed is the hideous green spandex jumpsuit he is wearing. This alone would be enough to startle most people, but naturally it is coupled with a matching set of orange leg and arm warmers. The next obvious thing is that he seems to be smiling, something that could be more accurately described as a small portion of the sun come to earth. Finally, the most disturbing things about it, is it's 'soup bowl' hair cut that appears to be more of a helmet than hair and it's matching monstrous eyebrows that could easily pass as another creature than a part of Gai itself.

As the scientist sits on the other side of the room, crying from the horror he has unleashed, as well as the fact that it has reduced his eyes to a liquefied jelly upon the ground (we are still unsure which hurt him the most). Gai has started to speak…many Youthful things which shall not be repeated for fear of the authors little remaining sanity, and thus the scourge of Konoha know as Gai the Green Beast Has been born.

Meanwhile in a cave in a far away country:

A snake like man named Orochimaru has received news that one of his scientists has discovered a virus that he can use to destroy Konoha. Unfortunately, as he walks into the room being as distracted as he is he bumps into a boy carrying the prototype of said virus and breaks its container forever changing him into the pedophile freak we know today.

______________________________________________________________________________________

A/N: I'm scared and amazed at this. I woke up in the middle of the night to get a drink and this popped into my head. I feel violated with writing it but I just had to let the public know how these Things were created… I am deeply ashamed of myself now. Oh well. Review and let me know what you think I could do to make it better or if you think I should add another chapter with things like how Lee came to be the strange demented little man we all know and love.