Neon Genesis Evangelion: The Only Neat Thing to Do

In the place where God resides, there is a hall of mirrors which stretches on forever. Each mirror shows in to a different version of the world- some are very similar, some are not. There exists a singularity within the myriad Earths contained in these mirrors: The Evangelion Test Type, Unit 01. Inside of it, there is a boy.

Ikari Shinji.

In one such Earth, the boy named Ikari Shinji can be found in a small, two car train winding through the mountains of the Hakone territory towards the city of Tokyo-3. The young boy of age thirteen is alone in his traincar, left to ponder over the mysterious circumstances which have conspired over the past few days to bring him to the city.

"Father... why has he suddenly contacted me? He certainly didn't waste any time dropping me at Uncle's after Mother died. It's been over three years since the last time we met at Mother's grave. Still, I'm sure if he's gone to the trouble to send for me all the way here to Tokyo-3, he must need something from me."

With a sigh, Shinji slumped down in his seat. Sure, he hadn't ever gotten along with his father, Ikari Gendo, but hadn't he still jumped at the call? Just for a chance to get his father's approval. Suddenly however, Shinji's mind was wiped clean of such internal debates as the train stopped short with a jolt. Shinji was flung to the floor of the car as the ground began to shake, and when he looked up through the window, he was startled beyond all expectations.

What greeted Shinji's view as he stumbled back to his feet could only be described as something out of a manga- a huge, blue mecha weilding a large rifle that was easily the size of the train Shinji was on. A large, extension cord-like device was attached to its back, and seemed to wind towards Tokyo-3. Just as the thought "What is it pointing the gun at?" began to cross Shinji's mind, his question was answered as the side of the mountain exploded. Charging through the house sized chunks of shrapnel towards the robot was a huge, alien monster the likes of which Shinji couldn't have imagined had he not been looking at it.

At least as tall as the robot, the metallic monster had a vaguely humanoid shape, though its arms and legs were both disturbingly long, clawed talons dragging along the ground behind it. A long, arched neck curved out from what could be only somewhat accurately described as its shoulders, with an odd, avian-like skull mounted on the end. The most disturbing feature, however, was the greyish pink mass of brain-like tissue coiling down the neck back towards the body, throbbing rapidly.

"What... what is that?!" Shinji's mind reeled as he tried to process the battle he was witnessing. Three shots from the mecha's rifle tore the air like thunder, and the groud shook as the collosal shells hit the earth. As the monster fell back in to the remains of the mountain in had charged through, a chunk of rock hit the lead car of Shinji's train, causing it to roll off of the tracks. Shinji grabbed for a handhold at the last second, but even so, he bounced against the luggage rack that had just a moment earlier been above his head instead of hitting in to his back.

The battle moved away from the train, around the next mountain as Shinji crawled his way out of the traincar's broken window. Looking down towards the first car, the young boy saw something that would haunt him throughout the rest of his trials- the body of the conductor had left the train as well- just not on purpose. Shinji stumbled away from the pile of gore and fell down, landing on his back as he tried to supress the rising tide of vomit in his throat. Just as he was about to succumb, a blue car rolled out of the access road up to him. The door opened, and a voluptuous woman in a red dress got out and stood over Shinji's head. Blushing at what he saw looking up at her as she looked down at him, Shinji averted his eyes.

"Ikari Shinji, I presume? I'm 1st Lieutenant Katsuragi Misato, of NERV. I appreciate the compliment, but for now, you're going to have to come with me."

Shinji and Lt. Katsuragi sped alongside the train tracks towards Tokyo-3, the sound of the robot battling the monster shaking the ground and splitting the sky from the other side of the mountains.

"Katsuragi-san?" Shinji began timidly, "What are those things?" Shinji gestured to the alien looking giant through a gap in the mountains as it swept a claw up, narrowly missing the robot's mono-eyed face.

"There'll be time for all of that later, Ikari-kun. But if you don't mind-" the car banked around a wide fissure caused by the battling giants. "I'd very much like to concentrate on driving for now." Shinji choked back an apology as he returned to the window, silent for a moment until yet another question escaped his lips.

"The... the blue one is the good guy, right?" Shinji watched the Lieutenant smirk at this question, and felt a bit more at ease for it.

"Yeah, Ikari-kun. That's the good guy."

Only a few giant sized strides away, the pilot inside the blue robot was breathing heavily. She had seen Lt. Katsuragi's car acquire Ikari from the wreckage of the train, and was doing her best to keep them safe long enough for them to make it to Tokyo-3. Feinting back as another claw came dangerously close to her, the pilot pivoted around to smash the butt of the rifle against the creature's skull. Just a few more seconds now and the Lieutenant's car would be out of harms way- she had to make this next move count. Lobbing the rilfe towards the stumbling enemy, she used the temporary blindspot to retrieve a Progressive Knife from where it was stowed in the robot's shoulder and charged.

"Just die." The pilot's soft voice commanded as the gap closed. At the last second, however, the monster lashed out towards the knife-free arm and the sound of tearing metal roared across the country side- only a split second before the cockpit filled with the girl's screams. Still, the knife found its mark and the previous two sounds were drowned out by horrible, alien wailing as blue blood gushed out from the gaping wound in the monster's neck. Striking in a blind fury of rage and pain, a quick claw swipe sent the robot flying back past the last mountain in the range towards Tokyo-3.

Just like that, the battle was done, if only for the time being. The monster retreated in to the lake which lay just on the other side of that last mountain, blue blood bubbling up occasionally. The robot, shredded left arm dangling at its side and gash across its chest, lumbered towards the city. In the cockpit, the girl who was nursing her arm between labored breaths smiled faintly as she saw the Lieutenant's car escape in to the tunnel leading deeper in to the city. She had protected them, and her mission was accomplished. He would praise her for this. Returning to the place where the cord plugged in, the robot knelt down as the platform it was on lowered deep in to the ground. Back to safety. Back to NERV.

Speeding along the seemingly abandoned streets of Tokyo-3 towards NERV headquarters, Shinji turned to Lt. Katsuragi. She seemed to have relaxed a bit, so he decided it might be okay to ask some questions now.

"Um, Katsuragi-san? Are we... safe now?" The lack of mecha versus monster warfare certainly seemed like a good sign, but the ghostly emptiness of the city was still pretty unnerving.

"Don't worry, Ikari-kun. We're almost back to NERV HQ, and we'll be safe underground." Shinji paused to consider this, and continued.

"NERV... do you work with my father, then? What does NERV do, anyway?" Now that he wasn't fearing for his life anymore, Shinji found himself increasingly more curious.

"Well to answer the first question, yes. I work under your father, Commander Ikari. As for what we do... well, I think that should explain itself once we get there. Ah! Here we are." Lt. Katsuragi made a sharp right and came to a stop on a metal plate outside of a large, windowless concrete building.

"What're we-" yet again, Shinji found his question aswered before he could ask it. With a shudder, the plate moved down a few meters before heading forwards on a sort of conveyer belt that carried the car gradually down under the building. As the tunnel lights moved by, Shinji sighed.

"Something bothering you, Ikari-kun?" The Lieutenant placed her hand on Shinji's knee, making him jump a little despite himself. Her face showed genuine concern, but Shinji still found himself looking away.

"I... don't get along with my father very well. Do you know what he wants with me?" Lt. Katsuragi gave a small smile to the boy, even if he wasn't looking to see it. He did see it though, reflected in the window, and it made him happy.

"You'll see Commander Ikari soon, and he'll be able to explain everything. I promise. For now, just try and relax." She patted Shinji's knee again and withdrew her hand, smiling at him. "By the way, Ikari-kun, you can just call me Misato. I feel old enough as it is!" Misato laughed, but Shinji seemed unsure.

"Okay, um... Misato-san. If you're sure that's appropriate..." Misato rolled her eyes. How uptight could this boy be?

"Fine, fine. I'll just call you Shin-chan then. That's that!" Misato teased Shinji, but given his lack of protest, Misato just decided it would do. Finally, they reached the end of the tunnel as it deposited in to a parking garage. Misato drove down a few levels until she found a parking space to her satisfaction in section 667, which was followed by a trek down another few sections to an elevator.

"Ah, here we are! Just on time, too. I certainly don't need Ritsuko to be on my case for tardiness again. Would you hit that button, Shin-chan? Thanks."

Half an hour later, Shinji was still trailing along behind an increasingly irritated Misato down what seemed like the fiftieth identical corridor of the labyrinthine NERV HQ.

"Damn it! You'd think that by now I'd be able to find my way around here. Ohhh, Ritsuko is going to kill me..." Misato groaned in desperation.

"Oh I will, huh? Tell me Lieutenant, do you enjoy interrupting my work just so I can come look for you?" Misato cringed at the firm, female voice that came from the corner they had just walked past. Turning to look, Shinji saw a tall blonde woman in a lab coat with a beauty mark and bright red lips. She was leaning against the wall smoking a cigarette, drumming her fingers against the wall.

"Hi Ritsuko... Shin-chan, this is Dr. Akagi, head of Project E development and a lead scientist for the Artificial Evolution Library. Ritsuko, this is Ikari-kun." Looking satisfied with herself for the successful introductions, Misato stepped back to allow the two to approach each other. Ritsuko stepped forward first, offering her hand.

"Pleasure to meet you, Ikari-kun. I hope Lt. Katsuragi hasn't spoken too harshly of me during your exodus through our halls. She tends to get... frustrated." Shinji took her hand and shook, smiling at Misato's expense.

"It's good to meet you too! Don't worry, most of Misato-san's narration was too quiet for me to hear anyway." Ritsuko and Shinji laughed, Misato glowering at them from a few feet back.

"I like him," Ritsuko spoke over Shinji's head to Misato, "He'll do just fine. Anyway, shall we go meet Commander Ikari at the cage? Come with me." With that, Shinji followed Ritsuko down the hallway as Misato slumped along behind them. Several turns and a few minutes later, the group came to a wide set of blast doors. As the door opened after a swipe from Ritsuko's keycard, Shinji wondered what they were supposed to be keeping out. Stepping in to the wide, dark room behind the adults, a sense of unease struck Shinji. Ritsuko hit the lights, followed by a realization from Shinji- his day was about to get a lot more complicated.

Commander Ikari hung up his phone in the Command Center and turned to the grey haired man standing to his left. Pushing his amber lensed glasses back up on his nose, he spoke in a cold, calculating voice.

"The medical wing has released her, but she won't be able to pilot for another four to six weeks. That is too long. Tell me, Vice Commander Fuyutsuki, has Shinji arrived yet?" The man hunkered down to whisper to Gendo.

"He has, sir. Lt. Katsuragi brought him in about twenty minutes ago. Dr. Akagi just went to retrieve them. Are you going to go meet with him?" Rising from his chair and straightening his dark jacket, the Commander of NERV nodded.

"Yes. After all... we have no other choice. I'll leave the rest to you."

"What... is this another one of those robots? Like the one I saw fighting the monster outside the city?" Shinji couldn't believe his eyes. He was standing on a bridge at about shoulder level with a large, white robot not dissimilar from the blue one. Its shoulders were less bulky and had orange plates on them, and the head seemed differently shaped- it was flatter and longer, with a horizontal blade jutting back past the left cheek. The most striking difference however were its two piercing, yellow eyes. Shinji felt eerily as if it was watching him.

"This is the all-purpose, artificial battle weapon Evangelion," Ritsuko began, a sound of pride obviously present on her lips. "The unit you saw earlier was our Prototype, Eva Unit 00. This, however, is our pride and joy- Evangelion Test Type, Unit 01. The Evangelion was developed as mankind's last hope against our enemy- the Apostolos. This, Ikari-kun, is why NERV exists." Shinji struggled to find his voice for a moment, and then looked towards Misato.

"But... what does all of this have to do with me?" Shinji muttered. "What am I supposed to do?" This last question echoed in the large room for a second before dying down.

"You," a voice began from on high, towards which the boy and both women looked up in surprise, "You are supposed to pilot it." The voice echoed down from Commander Ikari's mouth, though it took several more seconds for Shinji to process it.

"I'm supposed to pilot this thing? How? I've never done anything like this before!" Shinji's mind was racing.

"It's been a while... Shinji." Gendo smirked down from the catwalk where he stood.

"Father..." Shinji felt sad and happy all at once. He knew that he had, for some reason, been brought here just to serve his father. Yet Gendo was still his father- and Shinji did love him, even if he wasn't sure of it.

"Dr. Akagi, configure Unit 01 for Ikari Shinji. The Apostolo won't stay in that lake for long." The Commander spoke with a slight edge in his voice, as if this whole business of reuniting with his son was nothing but a distraction.

"But Father! I don't know how to do anything like this! Fight that thing? I can barely even believe that I saw it!" The level of panic in Shinji's voice rose with every word.

"He is not ready. I will pilot it." The soft voice of the room's newest visitor broke through Shinji's hysteria like a pebble through water. Shinji looked back at the reopened blast doors and saw a girl standing there, and aqua-colored hair coming just past her chin was the most normal thing about her. She was in a padded suit, almost all white but for the sleeves and waist which were blue. Her left arm was bandaged and she kept her right hand against her chest, seemingly in pain. A small yellow badge over her left breast read "Proto 00", and her dark blue eyes stared coldly back in to Shinji's.

"Shinji, I'd like you to meet Ayanami Rei- the pilot of Evangelion Unit 00. She's the one who was protecting us from the Apostolo on the way in to the city." Misato sounded cautious, and Shinji couldn't blame her. The tension in the room was drowning him.

"I appreciate your initiative Ayanami," Ritsuko walked up to stand next to Shinji. "But that just won't work. We already have Unit 01 configured to Ikari-kun, and with the Apostolo right on our doorstep there's no time to switch it. Shinji," Ritsuko put her hand on the boy's shoulder. "You can do this. All you have to do is sit in the entry plug."

"Well?" Gendo demanded. This was taking far too long.

"I... I'll do it." With those words, Ikari Shinji's fate was sealed forever.

Before he knew it, Shinji was standing on the robot's shoulder with Dr. Akagi and Ayanami. A cylinder had emerged from the Evangelion's spine, at the base of its neck. As Ritsuko fixed him with a headset, she spoke.

"This is an Interface Headset, Ikari-kun. It links your A-10 nerve to the Eva's control system. When you're ready, hurry in to the entry plug. I'll turn you over to Ayanami now." Ritsuko stepped down on to the catwalk which brought them to Unit 01's shoulder and hurried to the command center, where Commander Ikari and Misato were waiting. Still on the Eva, however, Ayanami was staring Shinji down.

"You should know that I do not approve of you doing this," began Ayanami. Shinji nodded. "But since you are, you need to do so correctly. The fate of the world hangs in the balance. The Evangelion is controlled with your mind, like an extension of your own body. If you think about walking, the Evangelion will walk. Do you understand?" While Ayanami looked skeptical that Shinji would understand her telling him that water was wet, he actually felt fairly certain he followed. Nodding, Shinji took a few backwards steps towards the entry plug- Ayanami Rei made him feel uneasy.

"Very well." Shinji's fellow pilot turned to leave, but once she reached the catwalk she paused and looked over her shoulder.

"And Ikari?" Shinji looked back at her from where he was climbing in to the entry plug.

"Yes, Ayanami-san?"

"Good luck."

Sitting in the resealed entry plug, Shinji felt it being lowered back in to the Evangelion. It was dark inside the plug save for a few dim, orange lights. A speaker kicked in, and Misato's voice came to Shinji.

"Shinji, are you okay in there? We're going to test the-" Misato was cut off by the sound of an alarm. "Shit! The Apostolo finished with its nap. Shinji, we're just going to have to connect you quickly and send you up. Dr. Akagi will walk you through synchronization now." Shinji gulped and the speaker clicked as it switched over to Ritsuko's station.

"Okay, Ikari. I need you to relax your mind for a moment. Just phase all of this out and allow the Eva to connect to you." Shinji did his best to ignore the sirens and background noise from the command center, though the threat of iminent combat was a bit harder to forget.

Good, Ikari. Stand by." Ritsuko followed this up with a string of things Shinji could barely follow. "Connecting main power. All circuits transmitting power. Commencing secondary contacts. A-10 nerve connection, normal. Set the thought configurations to Japanese." As Dr. Akagi continued through start up, the inside of the plug began to flash with different patterns. Suddenly, Shinji could see the room again, as if through the Eva's own eyes.

"Wow... this really is amazing!" Shinji was beside himself as Ritsuko continued.

"All preliminary contacts established. Performance nominal. Bi-directional circuits are open. Synchronization rate at 41.3%. Harmonics are all normal, no disturbances identified. " Back in the Command Center, Ritsuko gave the okay to Misato, who continued giving orders.

"Prepare to launch! Disengage primary lock bolts! Disengage secondary lock bolts! Disengage both primary and secondary restraints. Release safety locks one through fifteen. Move Unit 01 to deployment position." Misato motioned to a technician who flipped a few switches. Back in the entry plug, Shinji gave a start as the Eva began to tip backwards, the wall behind it tipping back forty-five degrees so that Unit 01 lined up with a tunnel leading up to the surface. The engineer turned back to Misato.

"Launch path is clear. All systems green, we're ready for launch." Misato nodded and looked to where Commander Ikari and Vice Commander Fuyutsuki were standing.

"Are you sure this is a good idea, sir?" Misato asked cautiously.

"It's the only idea, Lieutenant. Now give the command."

"Yes sir. Evangelion Unit 01, launch!" With Misato's command, Shinji felt himself hurtling towards the surface at lightning speed. In a flash, Evangelion Unit 01 burst through an open hatch in the middle of a Tokyo-3 street. In his attempt to regain his bearings, Shinji noticed he was several blocks over from the building he and Misasto had entered from. Looking up, however, Shinji noticed movement in the distance. The Apostolo was slowly making its way in to the outskirts of the city. Shinji's heart raced as Misato's voice came back in on the speaker.

"You can do this Shinji. We're counting on you. Evangelion Unit 01, move out!"