During the rise of Lord Voldemort, The Order of the Pheonix and Dumbledore's Army fought valiant against Voldemort and his forces and ultimately succeeded. 'The Golden Trio' as they're known now, are thought to be the key players in his defeat and have been praised for their bravery and sacrifice. Although this is true, a small group who contributed to the demise of Lord Voldemort, is always forgotten from the tale. This story tells of five (not so) ordinary witches and wizards who banded together to protect the wizarding world from the vicious Dark Lord. Professor Grubbly-Plank, Leanne, The Fat Lady, Madam Puddifoot and Gibbon star in this tale on their quest to destroy Lord Voldemort.

Rumours on the vicious attack on The Fat Lady spread through the school like an outbreak of Dragon Pox. Just last week, mass murderer Sirius Black had allegedly slashed The Fat Lady's portrait, leaving her in utter shock. In reality, this was all a clever hoax conducted by a group that shall, for now, remain nameless. At the time of course, Sirius Black was in fact within the castle, though not anywhere near the Gryffindor Common room. He was actually attempting to 'tickle the pear'. No, this is not some sexual innuendo involving Professor Sprout and her secret tattoo of a certain fruit. Black was merely attempting to gain access to the kitchens. Meanwhile, as rather drunk Professor Grubbly-Plank attempted to distract Filch with an exotic fan dance, a rather sly Leanne snuck to the portrait and slashed it herself. This gave The Fat Lady the perfect opportunity to move to her other portrait located in Madam Puddifoot's tea shop.

"The Fat Lady sings! I repeat, the Fat Lady sings!" Gibbon echoed out throughout the almost deserted tea shop. "Plan go alright, eh?"

"Perfectly." The Fat Lady replied, with a sense of satisfaction on her face. "I really wish you would put fresh clothes on, that's what you were in last time I was here!"

The Fat Lady's eyes fell down Gibbon's hairy chest and to his royal blue boxer shorts and before she could discuss his smell in detail, a robed Madam Puddifoot floated in. Before straightening three pencils which were meant to perpendicular to each other, she spoke in a whispery voice, almost excited.

"I trust that it went alright then?" The Fat Lady nodded at the tea lady. "Things here got a bit boring... well that is until Gibbon came." Madam Puddifoot winked at Gibbon who grinned back at her. The Fat Lady's eyes widened as he looked at Madam Paddifoot, then to Gibbon, then to a bra sticking out of Gibbon's boxers, then back at Madam Paddifoot.

The Fat Lady's stomach fell as she spoke once more. "You... and him? YOU, and him? I think I'm going to be sick..."

"Chill out Fatty, it was only once..." Gibbon quickly stated.

"Twice." Puddifoot corrected him. "You're a heavy sleeper." She winked once more at Gibbon though he looked slightly taken aback this time.

"When I was sleeping? You have got to—"

"ENOUGH!" The Fat Lady screamed as she began to repress the last two minutes of her life. "Why we're all here, I'll never know!"

It was an awkward story; on how this group began. It started after an obsessive compulsive Madam Puddifoot's mother was killed by death eaters during the First Wizarding War. Crushed by the loss of her mother, she had a brief relationship with Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank and managed to convince her to join up with her in case Voldemort ever came back. Bored of her lesbian flings, Puddifoot convinced Grubbly-Plank to reel in old friend Gibbon into the group. Former death eater and closet chocolate frog card collector, Gibbon renounced his old ways and became a spy for the group. Now known as the Thriving Threesome (named for many reasons but mainly for the obvious one), the group established themselves as a force to be reckoned with. After the events that transpired with Harry Potter fighting Lord Voldemort at Hogwarts, the group thought that they would need a connection to Gryffindor in Hogwarts. After trying several more sane paintings, The Fat Lady joined the group to pass on information from Hogwarts. Unfortunately, being a mere portrait, this dampened the sexual relationship of the group and 'Pants off Friday' was hereby suspended. Due to the fact that The Fat Lady couldn't just follow Harry Potter around everywhere, auditions were held for a student to be admitted to the group. The winner of the contest was Leanne, who many students detested due to the lack of a last name. The auditions were later made into a reality show for a muggle station called MTV.

"While we're distracted I just thought I'd warn you that Wilhelmina is getting married and she expects us all to be there." The Fat Lady peered over at Gibbon.

"Alright, alright, who's the lucky man then? Another teacher maybe? Filius, Rubeus... Cuthbert?"

The Fat Lady seemed disturbed at the thought of Grubbly-Plank being with any of those men though looked even more disgusted at what she said next. "Hooch. She's marrying Hooch."

The room fell silent.

The next few days, the group kept an annoyingly close eye on Harry and his friends. Madam Puddifoot set up trails of chocolates leading from the village centre to her tea house to try to lure them there. Unfortunately for her, she only managed to reel in a pair of idiotic Slytherins named Crabbe and Goyle. Grubbly-Plank tried her best to talk to Harry and extract information from him. She paid Draco Malfoy 10 galleons to get scratched by a hippogriff, hoping they would fire Hagrid and hire her. To her dismay though, they decided just to put the animal to death. Poor Leanne on the other hand was having even worse luck than the other two. The other day whilst trying to talk to Harry on the Divination Tower, she slipped on a step and fell all the way down the stairs. Already late for class and still frustrated about her lack of last name, he decided to leave her there on the ground.