"I want to say it"
Angel was excited. And why shouldn't he be? They all made it out of that other dimension relatively unscathed. He had his friends back. All was right with the world. He opened the doors leading to the hotel.
"There's no place like..." The word home hung in the air but no one uttered it.
The heavy silence was hampered by the redhead sitting on the lobby couch. Her eyes downcast and her hands in her lap.
She got up as if to address the group but no words came from her mouth.
Words weren't needed.
Grief emanated from the young witch.
No she didn't have to say.
Angel knew.
"It's Buffy," he breathed.
His head knew it but his heart wouldn't accept it to be true. Not Buffy. Not his Buffy.
He was surprised at this thought.
Buffy hadn't been his in a long time, but it seems as it he never thought of her as not his. She was always there, in his heart, a constant. She was his will, his drive, and now, she was dead.
Dead?
No his heart wouldn't accept that, Willow hadn't said it.
But as much as he didn't want to believe, He knew.
He just knew.
Willow saw his turmoil and confusion, and desperate hope. His eyes were pleading with her to say it wasn't so.
She wished she could oblige. She wished it more than anything.
But the fact remained like a huge boulder pressing down on her making it hard to breathe.
Buffy was dead.
"We fought" she started.
"All of us together... To save the world... And Dawn" It was getting hard not to break down here and now.
"We we're too late... It had already begun..."
Angel shook his head. "No."
"There was nothing we could do... only her"
Shaking his head furiously now. "No, no, no."
"They were coming into out world... all the evil from other dimensions"
Angel just looked at her, his eyes glistening with tears. Not wanting to hear, but not able to turn away.
"She sacrificed" god that word was hard to say, "herself to save the world" tears were now streaming down her face and over her lips. She made no effort to wipe them away.
Angel teetered there for a moment. Praying that it wasn't true.
"She's dead"
That was all he could stand. The dropped to his knees. Wavering there a moment while his heart comprehended what his head was telling it. Then he buried his face in his hands and cried.
Willow was there, her arms wrapped around him. He was dimly aware of muffled sobs behind him.
Cordelia and Wesley were clinging to each other crying freely. While Fred looked bewilderedly between them all.
Cordy broke away. Taking Wesley by the arm she motioned for Fred to follow.
It was best to leave him alone now.
Angel didn't notice their departure nor Willows retreat. He was having trouble forming and coherent thoughts. He kept seeing her face, over and over again. No not Buffy. She is supposed to live. She is supposed to be happy. That's why he left. So she could move on, fall in love, get married, and maybe have kids one day. All the things he couldn't give her. All uncharacteristic of a slayer, but she is different. She is supposed to live. He knew it was impossible, but not for Buffy. She is special.
'She was special' the thought resounded in his head, deafening him.
Was.
Past tense.
She's gone now. No happiness, no love, no marriage, no kids.
It all seemed so futile. He gave her up.
He gave her up to be killed.
"Angel" willow broke into his thoughts.
"Angel, I have to go, the others are waiting. The funeral will be this Friday, in the evening. I wrote it down on the end table. Please come." She let the words linger as she pushed her self up and made her way to the door. There she hesitated turned around and said "she would want you to be there.... with her friends"
Then she left, and Angel was alone with his grief.
Angel was excited. And why shouldn't he be? They all made it out of that other dimension relatively unscathed. He had his friends back. All was right with the world. He opened the doors leading to the hotel.
"There's no place like..." The word home hung in the air but no one uttered it.
The heavy silence was hampered by the redhead sitting on the lobby couch. Her eyes downcast and her hands in her lap.
She got up as if to address the group but no words came from her mouth.
Words weren't needed.
Grief emanated from the young witch.
No she didn't have to say.
Angel knew.
"It's Buffy," he breathed.
His head knew it but his heart wouldn't accept it to be true. Not Buffy. Not his Buffy.
He was surprised at this thought.
Buffy hadn't been his in a long time, but it seems as it he never thought of her as not his. She was always there, in his heart, a constant. She was his will, his drive, and now, she was dead.
Dead?
No his heart wouldn't accept that, Willow hadn't said it.
But as much as he didn't want to believe, He knew.
He just knew.
Willow saw his turmoil and confusion, and desperate hope. His eyes were pleading with her to say it wasn't so.
She wished she could oblige. She wished it more than anything.
But the fact remained like a huge boulder pressing down on her making it hard to breathe.
Buffy was dead.
"We fought" she started.
"All of us together... To save the world... And Dawn" It was getting hard not to break down here and now.
"We we're too late... It had already begun..."
Angel shook his head. "No."
"There was nothing we could do... only her"
Shaking his head furiously now. "No, no, no."
"They were coming into out world... all the evil from other dimensions"
Angel just looked at her, his eyes glistening with tears. Not wanting to hear, but not able to turn away.
"She sacrificed" god that word was hard to say, "herself to save the world" tears were now streaming down her face and over her lips. She made no effort to wipe them away.
Angel teetered there for a moment. Praying that it wasn't true.
"She's dead"
That was all he could stand. The dropped to his knees. Wavering there a moment while his heart comprehended what his head was telling it. Then he buried his face in his hands and cried.
Willow was there, her arms wrapped around him. He was dimly aware of muffled sobs behind him.
Cordelia and Wesley were clinging to each other crying freely. While Fred looked bewilderedly between them all.
Cordy broke away. Taking Wesley by the arm she motioned for Fred to follow.
It was best to leave him alone now.
Angel didn't notice their departure nor Willows retreat. He was having trouble forming and coherent thoughts. He kept seeing her face, over and over again. No not Buffy. She is supposed to live. She is supposed to be happy. That's why he left. So she could move on, fall in love, get married, and maybe have kids one day. All the things he couldn't give her. All uncharacteristic of a slayer, but she is different. She is supposed to live. He knew it was impossible, but not for Buffy. She is special.
'She was special' the thought resounded in his head, deafening him.
Was.
Past tense.
She's gone now. No happiness, no love, no marriage, no kids.
It all seemed so futile. He gave her up.
He gave her up to be killed.
"Angel" willow broke into his thoughts.
"Angel, I have to go, the others are waiting. The funeral will be this Friday, in the evening. I wrote it down on the end table. Please come." She let the words linger as she pushed her self up and made her way to the door. There she hesitated turned around and said "she would want you to be there.... with her friends"
Then she left, and Angel was alone with his grief.
