No Christmas
By Ms. Kinnikufan
Disclaimer: I Don't own any of the characters.
Notes: Based on Dub version, specifically Forkolossus's comment on how Adversariou's son had no Christmas.
Kevin Mask stood at the door of Adversarious household. Damn it, there was nothing in the D.M.P. handbook about telling families about death.
Kevin wished he
wasn't the one to tell Mrs. Adversarious family about her husband's death.
Not only did he not want to be the barer of bad news, he sucked at emotional
things.
Kevin just knew that he would make Adversarious's family feel worse.
Why couldn't they have sent Diabolic instead? He was good at being sympathetic and caring. Not what you would expect from a giant talking cell phone.
Get back on track Mask, Kevin thought to himself.
He rang the doorbell. A boy, no older then 7, answered. "Hello." Said the little boy.
"Ummm. Young man is your mother home?"
"Yeah. MOM THERE'S A WEIRD LOOKING LADY HERE TO SEE YOU!" the little boy shouted up the stairs. Lady? Thought Kevin
A tired, plump woman came down the stairs and to the door.
"Oh, you must be Add's student. Won't you come in?" she asked
Kevin thought it would be better if he told her privately, rather then where the whole neighborhood could hear.
They sat in the living room.
"Ummm. My name is Kevin Mask. -"
"Kevin isn't a girl's name-."
"Andy J. that's because he is a boy like you.'
"But mom, she can't be a boy. She is wearing a pink shirt and has long hair.'
Kevin resisted the desire to go into a rant about society's unfair sex stereotypes; now definitely wasn't the time.
"As you have guessed, I am.err.. was your husband's student."
"Was?" Mrs. Adversarious went pale.
"At 3:15 a.m. this morning, your husband died of a brain hemorrhage caused by the move know as the "Butt-Buster." As we speak, the D.M.P. is sending out people to avenge your husband on Kid Muscle, who we believe is the one t have used the "Butt-Buster" on your husband. I'm..I'm sorry."
"Oh God, Oh God, Adversarious!" Mrs. Adversarious began to weep.
"NO! NO! NO! YOU'RE LYING! LYING! MY DAD IS THE TOGHEST GUY IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD! A STUPID KID CAN'T KILL HIM! I HATE YOU, YOU STUPID GIRL! YO'RE LYING! LYING! DAD CAN'T BE DEAD!
Andy J. tried to beat Kevin with his little clenched fists. Kevin let him, hoping it would help Andy J. in some way.
Andy refused to believe his dad was dead. It had to be a mistake. His dad couldn't be dead. He was the toughest guy in the world. Once a burglar hit his dad in the head with a lead pipe His dad didn't even flinch. In fact he beat up the burglar so bad that the burglar had to hospitalize.
His dad couldn't be dead. He was the best dad in the world. He always made tie to spend with Andy J. unlike Mike's, Hiroshi's and Adam's dads. He participated in every field trip and every parent/teacher conference. He once even dunked the school bully in the toilets. He couldn't be dead. He just couldn't be.
So Andy J. waited patiently for his dad to return and tell Andy J. and his mom that someone else's dad was dead. A dad who wasn't as tough and as great as Andy J's dad.
Andy J. ignored the various people who came in to give sympathy and their regrets.
Any day now, his dad would come home and tell them that they were wrong.
They would laugh over how stupid that they were to believe that he was dead.
Then Andy J. would catch him up on what had gone in school (the school bully was still in therapy) and he and mom would do that gross hugging kissing thing.
And everything would go back to normal.
Then Adversarious's funeral came. It was an open casket
Andy J. saw his father lying there, unmoving. Adversarious was wearing a tuxedo. (Andy J. had always his father talk about how he hated wearing a "monkey suit."0
Andy J. realized that his father was really and truly dead.
"NO! NO! NO! HE ISN'T DEAD! DAD'S NOT DEAD!" Andy J. pounded the floor.
That weird girl named Kevin dragged him away and to his mother's side.
Andy J. didn't listened to a word of the eulogy. It was so unreal. His father was dead. Just a month ago he and his father were laughing a manly cartoon that Mom didn't understand. A month ago, his mom was happy instead of sad all the time.
After the funeral, Pumpinator, the weird shoe guy, approached Andy J.
"Your name is Andy J., right? Adversarious's kid?"
"Go to hell." Andy J. responded.
"Ummm..I know your father's death must really, really, really, hurt you. I know having a loved one die hurts. I once lost a baby brother, and shortly later, a little sister.
Their names were Ny'ke and Sandel. I think about them everyday. I know I will always miss them. But I know that they wouldn't have wanted me to be sad for the rest of my life, so I'm not. Your father doesn't want you to be sad for the rest of your life either, Andy J."
"Go to hell." Andy J. repeated.
"Sometimes, kid I think I'm already there." Pumpinator responded. He was throughoutly depressed by the funeral and the bitter, sad, memories of his departed siblings.
Andy J. could not be consoled. His friends, Mike, Adam and Hiroshi tried their best, for they liked Andy J's dad. He did give the school bully a swirlie after all.
They even defended his dad to some nasty kids (and a few teachers) who said his dad had it coming. Andy J. didn't noticed.
His mother was having a bad time too. She kept getting calls from family saying her husband deserved what he got. Neighbors continually harassed her, and the police didn't do a thing. They had to move for their own safety.
Andy J. found out who Kid Muscle was while watching TV.
Kid Muscle really wasn't a kid, but a stupid, lucky teenager. Andy J. screamed at the screen for Diabolic to kill Kid Muscle, and then screamed for Pumpinator to kill Kid Muscle when Diabolic failed, then screamed at Kevin Mask for quitting the D.M.P.
Soon Christmas came. It was spent in an unfamiliar, musty apartment.
Andy J. was angry. His dad should be here, singing Christmas carols off key and sneaking spiked eggnog to the cat. But he wasn't. Because of Kid Muscle.
His mother spent the day crying in her room. It was all Kid Muscle's fault.
"I hate you Kid Muscle! I HATE YOU!" Andy J. sobbed.
It wasn't Christmas at all for what was left of Andy J's family.
