It had been a long restless night, which reflected the last two years of his life. The memory of the loss of his love was still like a fresh wound, and was impossible for him to forget.
He had just slammed the front door after a bad game. He'd lost forty grand. He planned to down a bottle of wine before going to bed to ease some of the pain.
By now Angela had stopped coming around to check on him. She was tired of the abuse drunken Booth gave her. He blamed her for Bones's death. He blamed Cam for Bones's death. He blamed Hodgins. He blamed Sweets. He blamed Max. But deep down he knew that he really only blamed himself. He should have gone to look for her. It wasn't fair that he lived on while she was gone.
Booth was ashamed of himself. He missed Angela's visits. He missed having friends. People he could talk to. He missed Bones. He decided that he just wanted to sleep, clear his head, and try to forget about that night. About everything. He dropped down onto the bed, fully clothed, and within minutes was drifting into a restless sleep. He tossed and turned for hours. Once he had settled, he had a dream. Bones visited him in his dream.
She was disappointed. He had become a mere shadow of himself. He was no longer the man that she fell in love with all those years ago. She felt betrayed. She was angry. Bones whispered in his ear that she could see his every move, that she was beginning to hate the man she was watching him become. She wanted him to clean up and start acting like her Booth again.
Giving up Christine was the ultimate betrayal for her. Christine represented everything that they had built for themselves. A relationship. A new life. A family.
Booth wanted more than anything to erase the pain from her eyes, but he couldn't get near her. Invisible hands coming from empty beer bottles and poker chips held him back. Booth tried to get them to let go but the more he struggled the tighter their hold became. He couldn't get to her again. That broke his heart. He realised now how broken he was. How much he had lost, and how much he had to gain. He took one last loving look at his Bones before waking from his nightmare.
The first thing he did was pour all his liqour down the sink. He disposed of the bottles into the garbage and moved to the closet. The closet had not been opened since her death. It was where the cleaning things were. The things that she used to make the house they built a clean home.
The state of the house had rapidly deteriorated, even more so when Christine left. He no longer felt the need to live well. Why should he deserve to when Bones wasn't able to?
He cleaned the house for the first time in three years. He scrubbed the floors, polished the benches, wiped the walls, took out the overflowing garbage, and dusted the photo frames. He picvked up the one of Bones and Christine. THis was the only picture of her that he kept on display. It made him hurt too much to look at her picture. He stared at it for a long time. He could see the smile in her eyes, the adoration as she looked down at newborn Christine. He put the frame down and continued cleaning. He cleaned until the house shone.
He didn't allow himself to stop. He wanted to earn back Bones's trust and love. He needed to prove to her that he was still the man she fell in love with, he just didn't know how to be that anymorw without her by his side. Without her to help him evolve.
The next thing he did was apologise to Angela. To everyone. He was sorry for blaming them. He realised now it wasn't any of their faults. Just bad timing. Sometimes things like that happen, and, no matter how long it might take, you have to learn how to keep living your life.
He slowly began to mend the broken pieces of himself. One by one he put things back into place, until only one thing remained.
Christine.
He hadn't seen his baby girl for almost three years by then. Booth begged for her forgiveness. He explained that he just wanted her to have her best shot, and that at the time it wasn't with him. She leapt into her fathers strong and capable arms. She missed the feeling of love and security she felt from being in those arms. She was home again. And so was her.
She was the spitting image of Bones. She had her eyes, her laugh, her wit, her hair, her smile, her strong nature. Everything about her screamed Temperance Brennan. This was the one thing still existing that he was proud of. He loved his little girl no matter what.
After things were as back to normal as they could get, Bones revisited Booth. But this time it was different. Booth swore that she was really there. That this time it wasn't a dream. That Bones was really kissing him, telling him how much she missed him, and loved him. Telling him how proud she was of him. That he was the one true love of her life.
Before departing for the final time, Bones told Booth that no matter what happened, she would always be staning right beside Booth. Forever. She told him to never let himself get like he was. She told him that he could not abandon Christine again. Bones told Booth that she loved him.
Once again, Bones had saved his life. She brought a broken man out of a wreckage and was able to piece him together again. He was eternally grateful for his partner. His lover. His friend.
