Chapter 1
It was quiet at the junkjard. But then suddenly loads of cats began to fill the place. But they weren't just Cats. They where human looking, and walked about on two legs.
A silver Tabby went over to a big cat, who sat on a big wheel. "I'm afraid that that Macavity has gotten away from us again, Deuturonomy."
"Well, my dear Munkustrap, he will come back again, never fear," Deuturonomy reassured Munkustrap.
Then a strange scent filled the air. All the humanoid felines sniffed the air suspiciously. Then the queen feline, a cat named Jennyanydots, screamed, "Human!"
Every cat transformed into their true feline forms, and scattered. A human teenage girl made her way into the junkjard. She looked about, and immediately spotted the cats, hiding, but watching her.
"Ah, so I've finally made it to the famous junkyard," she said in obvious delight, and looked around at all the cats. "Excuse me, but I don´t want to bother you by telling that I already know all about you Jellicles, because you won't believe me anyway," the teen said in a knowing sort of voice. Then she pressed a button on the CD player she wore on her person. The cats were most surprised when heard what was unmistakenly their very own Jellicle song issuing out from the device.
The human girl then began to sing and dance to the music. After they had heard every song on the CD, the teen looked around again at the cats. Then she spoke a few soft words, snapped her fingers, and soon every cat now appeared in their humanoid feline forms.
"Say, why don´t you all talk about amongst yourselves, and let me know if you will trust me?" The human girl said.
"Very well. Let me handle this," the handsome tomcat, Rum Tum Tugger, said. He walked up to the teen and said in a disgustingly suave tone, "Hello there, cutie!" Then, since he was so impressed with himself, he dared to try and touch her.
Even though the teenage girl didn't appear to move so much as one muscle, she somehow grabbed his fur in her lightning fast grasp, and looked him in the eyes, saying, "Think again, buster. If you so much as touch me, I swear to the heavenside lair, that you will be singing soprano once I'm through with you. Understand me?" She tossed the big tom up against a old car, where the kittens ran over to see if he was all right, and unharmed. He was… well, except for maybe his pride, which had taken a bit of a bruising.
The teen looked around at all the cats. "All right. Here's the deal. My name is Kitty," she said. "Kitty Petro, queen of all animated and literary figures. I am here to offer you all a deal."
Dueteronomy looked at Kitty, his expression neutral, but curious. "Go on, Kitty Petro. We are listening," he said politely.
"Great. Now, if I "escort" my two favorites members of you Jellicles from this junkjard, to come with me to my world, I can see my way clear to make sure that this Macavity never harms anyone again."
There a sounds of whispered conversations everywhere. "And who, may I ask, are your favorites from our delightful junkjard?" asked a curious Munkustrap.
"Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer," said Kitty, with a look that added 'of course', without her actually saying it.
Everybody looked over at the notorious couple, who where---to say the very least---stunned.
Teazer whispered to her companion, Mungo in quiet voice, "Great. Just terrific. We are actually some teen girl's favorites. C'mon, who would have ever thought that?" Mungo just shrugged.
The twin cats Coricopat and Tantomile went over cautiously to Kitty. "Might we ask how do you seem to know so much about all of us? You're a human, but surprisingly you can tell who everyone of us is on sight."
Kitty smiled a knowing smile, and snapped her fingers once more. In the blink of an eye, a copy of the "Cats" DVD lay in the palm of her hand. "Would you like to see it?" Kitty asked.
The cats nodded, very curious. Another snap of her fingers, and a small TV and DVD player appeared on the hood of a nearby junked car. She slipped the DVD into the device, and hit "play".
"Hey it's a musical!" Alonzo said, delighted.
"Doesn't that mean that you can´t take us with you then?" Mungojerrie reasoned. Kitty grinned, and simply pointed to the bottom of the screen. Based on Old Possum´s book of practical Cats of T. S. Elliot Pouncival read.
"Damn," Mungojerrie muttered, snapping his fingers in frustration. "It was worth a try though, right?"
Then the movie began. The cats all watched in mute surprise and delight. After the movie had finished, Kitty looked back at them all. "So, shall I take care of this Macavity problem or not?" she asked.
"Kindly let us have one day to decide," Duteronomy asked very politely.
Kitty nodded her head, and then she walked away, and surprisingly enough, abruptly disappeared from view.
A Jellicle Meeting. Starts in one hour. Attendance is mandatory," Munkustrap told them all. "That is, everyone except for all you kittens, and Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer, of course." The comical duo was appropriately shocked by that news.
After the meeting had started, Mungo and Rumpel where laying about in the junkyard. "So, Mungo, what do you think?" Rumpel asked her brother.
"Well… Macavity is a big threat, and none of the others want us here anyway," Mungo told his sister matter-of-factly.
"That's not true," piped up a voice. Several voices in fact. It was the kittens. They where going to say something else, when all of the sudden they heard music. They went to the place where the music was coming from, and there, they saw her. Kitty Petro was sitting on an old car, while softly singing along with a CD.
The girl then noticed all the kittens, as well as her favorite feline duo. She looked over at the Cats. "Well, don´t be shy. It's not like I'm poisonous, or anything," she told them, rolling her eyes at their timidity. Overcoming their surprise, the assembly of felines walked over to where she sat.
"Let´s see," Kitty observed, and looked at the Cats: Mungojerrie, Rumpelteazer, Victoria, Electra, Jemima, Pouncival and Etcetera. The CD had began wailing out a jazzy rendition of Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer. "Now, that's real music," Kitty told them all.
"Glad to find someone that likes it," Mungo said, just a bit grumpily.
"Miss Petro, can I ask why do you want to take our Mungo and Teazer away?" Poncival asked, curious yet afraid.
"Because they are my two favorite Jellicle cats," Kitty said.
"And
how is your taking them away going to get rid of Macavity for
us?"
Victoria wanted to know.
Kitty looked at the mostly white kitten, who was now looking over at the teen that had told them she was going to get rid of one of most pressing dangers facing the Jellicles. "I don´t think that Jennyanydots would ever forgive me if I told you that," Kitty said, with obvious regret.
"Are you saying that you are going to… well, you know…" Rumpelteazer said, refering to, but not actually coming out and saying, precisely what was on his mind.
Kitty drew her finger across her throat sharply, while making a horrible swishing sound.
The two Cats and all the kittens shuddered in fear and loathing. Macavity was universally loated and despised, but the death of a cat---even him---was disturbing.
There was a small soft pop, and Kitty suddenly now sitting, playing a piano that had appeared seemingly out of nowhere.
"Hey! That's Gus's song!" Victoria said. Kitty smiled and nodded her head, and then began to sing along with the music:
Gus is the cat at the theater door.
His name, as I ought to have told you before,
is really Asparagus, and that's such a fuss to pronounce,
that we usually call him just Gus.
His coat's very shabby.
He's thin as a rake,
And he suffers from palsy that makes his paw shake.
Yet he was in his youth quite the smartest of cats,
But no longer a terror to mice or to rats.
For he isn't the cat that he was in his prime,
though his name was quite famous,
he says, in his time.
And whenever he joins his friends at their club
(Which takes place at the back of the neighboring pub).
He loves to regale them, if someone else pays,
With anecdotes drawn from his palmiest days.
For he once was a star of the highest degree.
He has acted with Irving,
he's acted with tree,
and he likes to relate his successes on the halls,
Where the gallery once gave him seven cat calls.
But his greatest creation as he love to tell,
was Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell.
I have played in my time every possible part,
and I used to know seventy speeches by heart.
I'd extemporize backchat,
I knew how to gag, and
I knew how to let the cat out of the bag.
I knew to act with my back and my tail
with an hour of rehersal, I never could fail.
I'd a voice that would soften the hardest of hearts,
whether I took the lead, or in character parts.
I have sat by the bedside of poor little Nell,
when the curfew was run then I swung on the bell.
In the Pantomime Season, I never fell flat,
and I once understudied Dick Whittington's cat.
But my grandest creation, as history will tell,
was Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell.
Then, if someone will give him a toothful of gin,
he will tell how he once played a part in East Lynne.
At a Shakespeare performance he once walked on pat,
When some actor suggested the need for a cat.
And I say now these kittens, they do not get trained,
as we did in the days when Victoria reigned.
They never did get drilled in a regular troup,
and they think they are smart just to jump through a hoop
And he says as he scratches himself with his claws,
Well the theater is certainly not what it was.
These modern productions are all very well,
but there's nothing to equal from what I hear tell.
That moment of mystery when I made history,
as Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell.
I once crossed the stage on a telegraph wire,
To rescue a child when a house was on fire.
And I think that I still can much better than most,
Produce blood curdling noises to bring on the ghost.
And I once played Growltiger,
could do it again,
could do it again,
could do it again.
"Wow!" the kittens all said, very impressed… in fact so impressed they all applauded.
"I've memorized all of the songs from the movie in my head," Kitty said. "Even those I don´t particularly like." Kitty grimaced a moment, then added, "I swear, I had Bustopher Jones bouncing around in my head for a month, before it went away."
The cats all giggled and laughed. "Well, at least Bustopher isn't quite as bad as Tugger's song," Kitty explained.
The female kittens frowned, looking at Kitty as if she had just sworn aloud.
"Y-Y-You don´t like Tugger?" Electra asked, obviously shocked at the very thought of such an idea.
"Look, excuse me… but, I think it's rather pathetic that you girls traipse around after that guy all day long, okay?" Kitty said, clearly annoyed. "What the heck is so special about Tugger, anyway? Hmm? He isn't even cute!"
Victoria bent over and whispered into Jemima's pretty ear, "Poor girl, she must of lost her mind." Jemima could only nod in sympathy.
"So, which one of the Toms do you think is sweet then?" Electra asked, clearly curious.
"Hmm. Let´s see," Kitty said. "If I had to rate them, I guess I'd place Mungo as Number One. Then, Alonzo as Number Two, and Munkustrap as Number Three." Kitty ticked off her choices on her fingers, one, two, three.
"And where would you place Tugger then?" Pouncival asked.
"All right. Fair question. But, first, I have a question for you all. How many Toms do you have in your tribe anyway?" Kitty asked.
"Well, let me count them," Etcetera said, mentally counting them off in her head. "Fifteen, all told."
"Well, then, Tugger would be in Nineteenth Place, my friend," Kitty declared, a sneer on her face.
"B-B-But, Kitty… there are only fifteen Toms, remember?" Jemima reminded her, clearly confused by her statement… missing Kitty's irony entirely.
"Exactly!" Kitty exclaimed with a determined nod. She snapped her fingers and a laptop computer appeared beside her on the hood of the car she still sat on. She brought up a browser, and began to surf on the 'Net.
After a while, a sweet, yet commanding voice called out, "All right, you five, where have you gotten yourselves to?" It was Jennyanydots, Queen of the Junkyard Jellicles. She waved the kittens over to her imperiously, brooking no dissent from them by the expression on her face.
"Sorry, Kitty… but we have to go," the kittens said.
"All right. See you tomorrow, then," Kitty said to them, and both Mungo and Rumpel as they went back to their home. And then, with nary a movement, she disappeared… without a trace…
