Gamzee wondered when it all would stop.
When would the world stop spinning. When would the stars fall in hot blistering meteors. When would he find a shard of hot metal in his head after a car accident.
It had been obvious that thing weren't gonna work out. They never did. But he just wanted it to end-he wanted to have the awkward silences gone and the feelings locked away. He knew the 'locked' away feelings would gnaw at the back of his head anyway-it would creep up on him when he was alone-or when he was alone in his mind. He never wanted to think too much-such time only made the gnaw slip somewhere between his skull and his skin-coming over in strong waves till it hooded over his eyes. It came in thick smudgy black ink, spreading from the nape of his neck all the way above his eyes.
It made him want to sleep, but to not want to sleep.
He would stay awake, but not quite there-hoping for the corrosion of his mind to finally begin.
He wondered what made HIM so special-he was in love too, why couldn't he be loved instead?
He wished he could have fallen in love with anyone but him.
Such attachments made him tired again-maybe today he'd be able to slip away and sleep forever.
He regretted loving Karkat.
