A/N: Scribbled this down last night onto an old newspaper with a pen borrowed from the waiter while sitting alone in a pub till closing time. I was sort of inspired by the song 'Moonlight Shadow' which was playing there over and over again, the guy sitting three tables away from me really had quite a lot of spare change to feed that jukebox with... This is one out of two short Lupin/Snape stories I wrote last night, haven't had time to type the other one yet, might do it if anyone is interested.
Please don't flame about grammar/spelling, it's not laziness, I'm trying my best but I'm not a native speaker. I hope some of you will like this story, thanks to everyone who takes the time to read it and especially to those of you who might leave a review, you don't know how much that means to me.
Of course, as usual, anything you recognize is not mine, I don't think anyone would pay for this, so I'm not making any money with it, please don't sue me. Not being able to think of any good title right now I'll keep to the song...
Moonlight Shadow
Albus Dumbledore let his gaze travel along the high table, studying his colleagues' faces. Recent events had left none of these faces untouched although in some of them it was more clearly visible - to him at least. One of those was Remus Lupin. He was the one Dumbledore would least have expected to ever have to worry about. He had always been the optimistic one, always a smile on his face and an encouraging word on his lips. But today, he was sad. His gray eyes and soft features showed sorrow and grieving. He was too caring and too sympathetic to just brush off everything he had seen and heard during those last few months. The sadness clearly showed on the outside but probably was even more agonizing for him on the inside. Maybe he should involve him a little less for a while, it might be asking too much of him. The headmaster made a mental note to himself that he had to speak to him. Next to Lupin was Severus Snape. Dumbledore knew that he was definitely expecting too much from Snape, but he had to, he was too important for their cause, he couldn't just give him some weeks off.
When he looked at the younger man now he could see the shadow again. It hadn't been there for a few years but now it had returned. A shadow that was hovering and dancing around him, following him with every step he took, waiting at his bedside while he was sleeping and standing right behind him just now while he was sitting here at the table. A shadow that touched him, embraced him and gently pulled him into this or that direction. And the shadow had brought back fear to those deep black eyes. Dumbledore wondered how much longer Severus would be able to stand up to it. He wondered if sooner or later he would break down, give in to the dark shadow and turn his back on the side of light.
Lupin said something Dumbledore couldn't hear and Snape replied a few words without looking up from his plate. It earned him a glare from Lupin which he answered with a sneer. The headmaster took a deep breath. The more pressure and responsibility he put upon their shoulders, the more childish they seemed to be acting. Well, we all need something that keeps us sane, the old wizard thought to himself.
Severus, may I have a word with you? Lupin called after him. He hadn't wanted to discuss this at dinner where the students would be watching them. Snape rolled his eyes and stopped but didn't turn around so Lupin knew he would probably have to walk with him if he wanted to speak to him.
I have to talk to you about that essay you wanted my students to write... Lupin started but was right away interrupted by Snape.
Listen, I have no problem with filling in for you, but either you let me do it my way - or not at all.
Lupin made a few quick steps to stand in front of him. Oh no, you do have a problem with it, that's what this is all about!
Snape arched an eyebrow. I beg your pardon?
You know very well what I mean. Lupin replied. Your problem is that Albus won't give you the job you want.
Oh is it? You know, Lupin, I really have enough things on my mind these days, I don't care about that blasted job.
I know. Lupin said with a smirk. What bothers you is that it shows that Albus still doesn't trust you enough to let you do it! Even I have to admit that you're probably more qualified than me but still...
Just shut up, werewolf! Snape hissed.
Try and make me, Death Eater! Lupin replied, a dangerous flicker in his eyes.
Snape quickly raised his hand to reach beneath his cloak and Lupin jumped back to pull out his wand as well. They both froze when they heard the footsteps of students in a corridor close by. For a few seconds they were standing face to face and staring at each other. Finally Snape let go off his wand, let his hand sink down again and Lupin did the same.
This is probably not the appropriate place. Lupin said in a low voice.
So you're challenging me? Snape whispered.
Lupin hesitated for a short moment. I am. He then replied. It's time for us to come to terms with each other.
Snape nodded slowly, accepting the challenge. Choose your weapon then.
Would swords be acceptable for you?
Of course. He replied calmly. Midnight, the Haggard Fen. You will be responsible for a referee. Having said this Snape turned away from him and strode along the corridor.
Lupin leaned back against the cold stone wall and closed his eyes. Damn it... He muttered to himself. This definitely wasn't his way. All he had wanted was to talk about a simple, completely harmless and unimportant homework and now he had ended up challenging him to a duel. Well done, he thought to himself, well done, Remus. But now there wasn't a way of turning back. Maybe it would even be for the best of it. He took a deep breath, opened his eyes again and slowly started to walk along the corridor. He had to find a referee now.
It was a cold and quiet night. A pale half moon was shining from a starless sky and damp mist was rising from the black meadows. The yellow eyes of the owls in the trees were watching Snape as he made his way through the undergrowth of the Forbidden Forest. The trees whispered under a gentle breeze and he could hear the dead leafs on the ground rustle under each of his steps. He could see his own breath in the chilly air, at night the arrival of winter was already tangible. He contemplated about just turning around and walking back to the castle but although knowing this would have been the most sensible idea he had come up with the whole day his pride forbid him to do so. On the clearing in front of him he spotted the blurry outlines of two figures in the dense fog. When he came closer he was surprised to recognize Minerva McGonagall as one of them. He hadn't expected Lupin to ask her if she was going to be the referee and he had even less expected her to agree. Snape nodded curtly, Lupin did the same and McGonagall gave them both an analysing look.
Before we begin... She said in a low voice. ...I want both of you to know that I do not encourage this and the only reason I am here for is to make sure this will be a fair duel at least.
Lupin said. Snape refrained from saying anything at all.
McGonagall sighed. You are both aware of the rules? The two men nodded. Take your positions then. She stepped out of the way and watched Snape and Lupin both take exactly three steps backwards. They indicated a bow without ever allowing their eye contact to break and then raised their swords. McGonagall felt anxiety creep up inside of her. She didn't like the whole idea at all, but still she had decided to be the referee in this stupid game, because like this she could at least make sure things wouldn't be getting out of control. The white moonlight was reflected in the silver blades of the swords. She said in a low voice.
They didn't waste any time, the sound of McGonagall's voice was still hanging in the air when Lupin dashed forward. The blade of his sword cut through the fog and a loud metallic sound could be heard when Snape blocked the attack with his own sword. Lupin stumbled a step backwards and Snape lunged towards him. Lupin dodged the counterattack and then quickly whirled around to face his opponent again. For a short moment they just glared at one another before Snape attacked once more. Lupin felt his left foot sink a little too deep into the marshy ground and nearly failed to block the attack this time.
McGonagall felt uneasy. Nothing she was seeing here really kept to the rules as she knew them but she had expected this to be a serious fight and wasn't going to stop them as long as she was sure they weren't aiming at injuring one another. She was worried. There was too much anger in their eyes.
The fight was becoming faster and more careless as the opponents realized they seemed to be equal to each other. The fog and the marshy, slippery soil made it difficult for both of them to accurately aim their attacks and this made them impatient. Lupin blocked a powerful strike, lost his balance, fell to the ground and Snape raised his sword, a dangerous flicker in his eyes.
McGonagall cried out. That look in his eyes had scared her, it was not the cold calmness he usually showed, it was angry, mad and empty. She stared at Snape in anxious anticipation. For a moment nobody was moving and heavy silence reigned the scene. Snape let his sword sink and stepped backwards. McGonagall sighed inaudibly. She was slightly shocked by the fact that for a second she had actually thought him capable of killing his opponent. He shot her an angry glare and she knew that he was right, if she wouldn't have interrupted the duel he would have won, Lupin would probably have had to give up.
Lupin had gotten back to his feet by now and taken his position again, waiting for McGonagall's command. She rather wanted to take her chance to end this all. Don't you think this is enough by now? She asked in a calm voice. The two men obviously didn't think it was and glanced at her out of narrowed eyes. Well, if you insist... McGonagall muttered.
Snape dodged Lupin's first attack, jumped forward and the blades met once again, powerful enough to make Lupin stumble sideways. He sidestepped Snape's next attack, raised his sword to strike and then he hit him. Lupin could see it all in slow-motion. The blade raced down and Snape tried to block it, but he wasn't fast enough. It slipped from his own sword, broke his defense, hit him and cut deeply across the inner side of his left forearm. Snape let his sword fall to the ground, seized his arm with his right hand and dropped to his knees. Lupin stared at him. The wound was bleeding heavily, dark red blood was running down his arm and over his hand and he squeezed his eyes shut in pain.
Serves you right, this was the first thing that came to Lupin's mind when he was gazing down at his defeated opponent. McGonagall jumped forward, kneeled down next to Snape and put a hand on his shoulder.
Severus? Are you all right? She asked and tried to take a look at his arm.
He muttered and slowly raised his head to look at Lupin. I give up. He whispered and Lupin simply nodded, turned away and walked back through the woods. He was glad that McGonagall was there because he really wanted to get away and he couldn't have left Snape behind on his own in the condition he was in. He felt bad. He felt sick. Not because he had hit him, but because he had actually wanted to. He had wanted to hurt him, wanted to see him bleed, to pay back the endless times Snape had insulted and hurt him.
Snape was still on his knees, struggling hard to control the pain.
I knew it would end like this... McGonagall muttered as she helped him back to his feet.
So why did you come? He asked.
To make sure you don't kill each other. She replied. Although I have to admit I expected that Remus would be the one to walk out of this bleeding...
He looked at her out of weary eyes. I hoped you would know me better by now. He whispered.
McGonagall didn't reply anything and they walked back up to the castle in silence. The only thing Snape thought was that he should not have gone down to the woods at all. He had lost. And his arm was hurting like hell. He knew the cut went right through the dark mark on his left forearm which probably was the reason why it hurt so bad. He hadn't thought Lupin would loose control like that, no matter how much they loathed each other.
Don't you think you should have that looked at? McGonagall asked when they had arrived back at the school.
No, I can deal with that myself. He replied and looked down at his arm. At least it was bleeding less by now.
She said curtly, turned away and walked up the stairs.
Lupin was pacing up and down the corridor in front the door that lead to Snape's private rooms. It cost him quite an effort to finally stop, raise his hand and knock. He waited but there was no reply, so he knocked again.
Severus, please, I need to speak to you.
Snape was sitting in an armchair and staring at the door. He didn't want to see Lupin and he didn't want to talk to him. He was convinced Lupin either wanted to apologize or sort something out with him and Snape wasn't in the mood to hear either of that. There was another knock on the door.
So come in if you must... Snape muttered to himself, lazily raised his wand and let the door swing open.
Lupin slowly stepped inside, stopped near the entrance and gave Snape an analysing look. He was sitting in his armchair, half hidden in the shadows and he seemed surprisingly calm. Lupin had expected him to jump at him, curse him or at least insult him, but he did nothing like that, he was just sitting there and watching him.
Are you all right? Lupin asked.
Perfectly fine.
Lupin started and stepped a little closer. I'm sorry. I can't be sorry for hitting you because I didn't do it by mistake. I wanted to hit you and that's what I want to apologize for.
Snape looked at him for a long time. You keep surprising me, Lupin. He then said in a low voice.
You don't have to accept my apology, I just want you to know that I'm sorry and I didn't intend to hit you right there... on your arm.
A twisted smile crossed Snape's face. You won, Lupin. It was a fair duel, so stop apologizing.
This wasn't the way I wanted to win.
The way and the means by which you win are not important, the only thing that counts is victory itself. It was obvious to both of them that they weren't talking about that duel anymore.
Lupin shook his head. That might be your way but it's not mine.
Snape looked at him thoughtfully. If you want to live through this war you might have to think about changing your ways.
Lupin wondered if it really had been necessary that he cut his arm bleeding before he would ever talk to him in a normal way, without any trace of arrogance or hate in his voice.
He replied, nodded, turned away and left the room.
~end~
