Hello. I am responsible for such a story like this. Enjoy! :)
I hope you love it, but if you hate it, tell me (nicely) what I need to work on.
Oh yeah, leave those reviews, I love them! Follow, favorite, vote... oh wait, this isn't Wattpad... but read, follow, favorite, support me please... Okay, I sound desperate. Like, -my sister trying to find a homecoming date- desperate. But enough about my life, let's get on with the story.
One more thing: Kind of like 'Thirteen Reasons Why' by Jay Asher. Only the relationship part, not the suicide part, sort of. If you read that amazing story, which I recommend you do, it's awesome, and *sigh ( a relieved sigh that I'm done talking) * that's it.
Oh, I lied... whoops... I own none of this! Just the plot! Ahaha! And the characters since they're pretty much vice versa their characters on the show. Okay, I'll shut up!
HALFWAY EDITED, TELL ME IF YOU SPOT A MISTAKE
It was freshman year. The first year of high school. The year I was going to be someone new. Someone I had never been. A fresh start. But that didn't happen. I didn't get what I had desired. In fact, I lost a few things. Like respect. And friends. Let's go back to it, shall we?
For freshman year, I went all out. Instead of my usual ponytail, I had it down. Instead of the "farmer" clothes, I had made Forever 21 my closet.
That image I was trying to make was simple: to not be nerdy. I just wanted to be popular. Hell, I wanted to win the heart of Kyle Jacobs. I just wanted to change myself. But instead of changing my outwards self, I changed my inwards self.
I had heard that a party was being thrown that night. I wasn't invited. And the number one way to get invited, was to talk to Cassidy. I hadn't bothered to remember her last name. It was one thing other thoughts threw out.
During lunch, I sat down at Cassidy's table. It was occupied by her, Kira Starr, and other girls I had never seen in my life.
"Hi." I say. Cassidy glared at me and continued talking to her possy.
There are eight steps to making a popular girl like you.
One: Make your presence known.
Two: Show her she doesn't scare you (even if she does; I was scared for my life)
Three: Do something that she asks you
Four: Insult one of her friends or exclude them. Get rid of them if you have to!
Five: Have a sleepover with her
Six: Become her follower
Seven: Become her fucking leader
Eight: She'll love you!
Now, I didn't have time to do the sleepover one, so I went with one, two, three, four, six, seven, and eight. I was on my way. But first, I had number one: making my presence known.
Usually, it's in a way that shows you're badass. And I had just the way to go. I got up and poured by milk by the nearest person besides Cassidy or her possy. Trish De La Rosa. My friend, but I was going to explain to her later. Cassidy rooted.
"Ha. Wow. She got the fat girl."
I sat back down. Trish wasn't even fat. She was thick. Big boned, maybe? But not fat. That aggravated me. So, I went with step number two, in a different way.
"You can talk. I can see the flab on your arms. She may be fat, but you're no oil painting yourself." Sorry, Trish.
Cassidy looked angry. "What are you doing at my table?!" she snaps.
"Nothing. I hear there's a party and-"
"You're not invited! Not in a million years, dork. Nice try." Kira cuts me off.
Cassidy smirks. "Girls. Let's talk." Her and her possy start whispering and then are finished.
"You're invited." Cassidy tells me. Wow. That easy?
"Great." I say.
"If... you go tell Kyle I like him. He needs to be my date, obviously." No problem.
But tell Kyle she likes him? What was this? Sixth grade? We all knew it was grade nine, but I was surprised most of them even made it to high school. What a shock.
"I'll do it. Plus, I'll buy some beer." Why in the hell did I say that?
"Awesome. If you do both of those things, you're going to every party this year. And you're in my group."
So, I went over to Kyle's table.
"Kyle Jacobs, right?" I say. He looks up at me. "Amy?"
"Ally." I say, angrily. He never remembers my name.
"Oh, right. You going to the party?"
"Yes. Actually, I came over here to..."
"Great. It's a date. See you then." he says. I smile a little, but then look back at Cassidy. Maybe I could skip step three and create a new step.
Disobey her and go after the guy she wants.
"Wait, um, could you drive me there? Pick me up from Sonic Boom at eight?"
"Sure. This must be your first party. No party starts at eight. It's always ten."
I smile. "You're cute."
That makes me blush. I nod. "Thanks."
As I make my way back to Cassidy's table, I sit down. I had a date with Kyle Jacobs! And I was invited to a party. I had even ruined Cassidy!
"It's done, Cass." I falsely aware her, giving her a nickname.
"Great. This is awesome."
I look at Kira. "Your shoes are so lame." I simply say. Knowing females, this could've caused World War III. But surprisingly, Kira stayed calm. Mainly because...
"So lame." Cassidy repeats. Then high fives me.
"Look at her. She's a piece of garbage." Cassidy said that one. Followed by many others.
"Okay, I get it, Cass." Kira grumbles.
Cassidy smiles and I just give a relieved sigh.
I was waiting at Sonic Boom, not a minute after ten. Kyle was on time. I had worn a short skirt and a pink crop top. I had worn makeup for the first time and curled my hair a little.
I knew I looked amazing. Kyle and I were silent the entire ride. When he stopped, we both got out. Cassidy was in a corner watching, I bet. I felt so guilty. But I was relieved.
I was at a party.
Some girl offered me a cup of beer and I drank it. It was horrible, but I had another to satisfy me. And then another. And a few more. I was trying to get drunk, I think.
Kyle found me and insisted I sat down. He tried to console me. I was jumping around and singing We Can't Stop by Miley Cyrus like the world was over. To calm me, he took me into a room. I laid down, not knowing what was going to happen. I sit back up and look into Kyle's eyes. That's a great color of... wow, what color? It was just... well, I was drunk, so I don't know. They were sure as hell beautiful. Little did I know, he was just buttering me up.
So, I followed my instincts and kissed him. Like the most awesome kiss ever. We didn't get naked, but we were making out on top of each other. No dry humping stuff, but just kissing. It was perfect. His lips felt amazing against mine and the kiss overall was fucking awesome. I was hiding pain.
That's when a door opened. It was Cassidy. She snapped a photo. People crowded around. By then, Kyle was on his way out the door. In fact, he left and never spoke to me again.
"Whore."
"Slut."
"Bitch."
Names people decided to call me. I was named the slut of the school. Guys often asked if I'd give them a hand job, whatever the hell that is. Somebody put a bunch of condoms in my locker. And when I took Tylenol pills, there was a rumor I attempted to kill myself because I had sex with a guy who had a girlfriend and she beat me up. That I had gave up. Ally Dawson doesn't give up. She never has and she never will.
Everyone hated me and I had lost all my friends. Trish wasn't mad at me, but she just stopped talking to me after a while.
By sophomore year, rumor had it I was pregnant. Then by January, they decided that I got an abortion since I hadn't gained any weight.
Shitheads.
After a little, I met Dallas. It ended within a month. Apparently, I had cheated on him. Well, he told everyone that. He broke up with me because I'm broke. My parents died when I was a kid and I moved in with my drug addict of an aunt. She's poor and I'd rather live behind the mall dumpster than with her.
I don't have too much money, nor do I have anybody who cares about me.
Junior year arrived. I dyed my ends blonde. I just wanted a change. Everyone demanded it a slut move. But they weren't worried about me. Everyone was surrounding the new kid, Austin Moon. He went to the middle school, but moved the summer going into high school. I remember that summer. He kissed me on my cheek and told me to take good care of Sonic Boom. He was my good friend, you could say, and it crushed me when he moved. He's part of why I had to change myself. He was the only guy that was interested. After Dallas, I had surely given up on boys. I wasn't going to be lesbian, but I had decided I'd be single.
Everyone knows Austin has money, charm, looks, talent, and... need I go on?
Actually, that was the summer my parents died. He was the only person I spoke to after the accident and when I was forced to live with my aunt, he told me things would get better and I'd be fine. I had hoped so. It unfortunately wasn't. We were a couple of fourteen year olds in love, but neither one of us admitted it.
So, seeing everyone be so excited to see Austin actually made me jealous. So, I pushed my way through the crowd and found him. He certainly grew; more muscular, hair looked more rough, and he looked less... sweet.
"Austin." I call. I don't expect him to answer, especially after people start saying he's latest on my "sex list".
He looks up. "Ally."
I see his smile. This makes me smile, something I haven't done in a long time. "Your hair."
"Yeah. I just changed it. Do you like it?"
"I always liked it."
I look down at my feet. I wasn't about to let my guard down to "rich boy". I'm not that dumb.
"Well, so do all the other boys." I simply say. That wipes the smile right off his face.
"Go talk to them, then."
"Maybe I will."
With that, everyone "oohs". Lunch came and word on the street was that I asked Austin to have sex with me and he turned me down. I ate my lunch in the bathroom stall.
My motive wasn't to add fuel to the fire, it was to show Austin that I wasn't into him, just to save myself from getting hurt. I meant to pour water in, but I feel as though I put gasoline in. I made things way worse. I'm an idiot.
The next day, things had cooled down. Thanks to Cassidy. She started dating Austin, and it was love at first text. They were the "It couple". Everyone looked up to them.
Cassidy had the clothes, the looks, the hair, the smile, and the fierceness.
Austin had the looks, the hair, the smile, the eyes, the clothes, the abs that made you just want to rip his shirt off. Oh my God.
All the girls wanted to be Cassidy. All the boys wanted to date her.
All the boys wanted to be Austin. All the girls wanted to date him. At least they took the attention off me for a while.
It was the next week, that I decided Austin was a no good jerk.
While I was eating a burger at lunch, he chose to come and sit with me. I glared at him, giving him the idea to move.
"You changed. Why?" he asks.
"Go sit with your girlfriend."
"Answer my question. Why?"
"I just did, okay?! No one cares about me, so why must you?"
"It's wrong for me to care about you?"
"Yes, high school isn't all it's cracked up to be for me, and you, Mr. Popular, would not understand."
That's when the dickface calls Cassidy over to the table. She struts, clacking her heels loud just to get attention.
Cassidy stares at me and laughs. "Wow. You're after my boyfriend? You're one of those persistent sluts who tries to fuck the guy who already rejected you a first time. You are a pathetic whore, and it's in everyone's best interest that you kill yourself. So, go, and swallow some more pills."
Cassidy said it so loud, the entire cafeteria heard it. Some laughed, others whispered, others agreed, and the others were the quiet by standing bastards that I fucking hated.
It was in everyone's best interest that I kill myself and that was just what needed to be done.
I had a plan. I was waiting until Halloween. That was the night of the party and I had to fix some things before my farewell I knew for sure no one would forget.
I dressed in the most provocative outfit on sale I could find and my make up was perfect. This was the only way to go.
Austin was there and he wasn't dressed up. He just came for the party I suppose. I had my purse by my side. It had my phone, gum, sleeping pills, Tylenol pills, and Advil.
I had resided on a couch. One thing I regretted was spending the money I had on that ridiculous outfit, but at the moment I decided if I was killing myself, I wouldn't need any money. Who the hell would go to my funeral?
Austin decided to speak to me and letting my guard down was the last option. He made me feel special, like Kyle did.
Okay, so I wasn't completely honest. Kyle and I didn't just make out. Well, to me that was all we were going to do. But to him, he took it as an opportunity to take a girl's virginity without her permission. And Kyle got arrested, but the son of a bitch was at the Halloween party.
In the midst of talking to Austin, I saw him smirking at me. So, I just ran outside. Kyle went after me and grabbed my arm. "Where the hell are you going? The party's just begun. I know you missed me."
"I didn't." He tightens his grip.
"You fucked another guy, I hear. A lot of them."
"It's a lie. Even if it wasn't, what have I got to... prove to you?" I start struggling, but he just slaps me in the face.
"Don't struggle. You'll make it worse."
Suddenly he lets go. Not willingly, but because someone pushed him off and started throwing punches at him.
It was a full on fist fight and I refused to watch, but it was all because of me and I couldn't just let this happen. But at the same time, I wasn't going to watch someone punch another person. People rooted for Austin, but several rooted for Kyle, too. To me, it was gross. Who would do that? It was disgusting. I did what not many people would do, but I jumped in, trying to break it up. Blood got on my shirt and I'm going to predict from Kyle because his nose and lip were bleeding. It appeared Austin was untouched. Except his hair, which actually didn't look to bad tousled.
I take Austin inside, where almost no one is. I led him to the first aid kit and cleaned him up. He didn't react to the peroxide. There had been a few wounds to his stomach because Kyle being the pussy slash coward that he is got out his handy-dandy pocket knife. The distant sound of sirens made us both curious. He left to go see, but I didn't. I started crying and remembered that life was terrible and rummaged through my purse. I got out my phone. I made a video, that simply said "I'm done with you mother fuckers." Then on camera took every single pill in my purse. I said bye, almost with no emotion, but then I started crying. I sent it to every soul in my contact list and I even posted it on YouTube. I hadn't died yet, which is what I had wished. I went out the back door and fell to the ground. My heart stopped. My breathing stopped. My life stopped. Or so I thought.
I awoke in the hospital, no family member in sight. It's not as if my aunt ever cared whether I was alive or dead in the first place. I flicked on the news.
'Miami teenager Austin Moon taken to juvenile detention for murder.' What? That couldn't be right. But it was. I was in the hospital a few days after until they sent me to Willow Falls Mental Hospital. I was mental? Ally Dawson? Mental? I don't think so.
I had soon learned that Kyle died and it seemed that Austin killed him with that last punch. It was all my fault. My stress, anger, and sadness built up and I was in that hospital for too long. Way too long.
They got me a therapist, like I needed one. She told me to call her Karen, but I always called her Dr. Karen Winbinger. She found it a little funny. Dr. K.W. actually made my life easier and she seemed to understand me.
Eventually, I was ready to be released. I told Dr. Winbinger that a therapist wasn't exactly in my budget, but she agreed to do it for free. Going back home, I decided to reopen Sonic Boom. I had went there every week before the... incident and tuned all the instruments, making sure they were in proper care. I had a pillow and sleeping bag in the practice room, which was turned into my bedroom slash practice room. The old piano was music to my ears... literally.
Sonic Boom gained great business and I could afford a blow up mattress. I didn't have everything I needed or wanted, but what I had currently was fine to me.
One thing just didn't make sense to me. How Austin Moon walked around the store everyday and left. I didn't speak to him, nor did he speak to me. Wasn't that guy in jail? Oh great, the mental girl and the delinquent. I mean, I know he's not a delinquent but others don't. He was even more mysterious than before.
I was returning to school in January and it was only a cold, lonely December day. Well, not cold. I live in Miami.
December 1st, to be exact and I had lots of time to let things sink in. Like why Austin Moon was back from prison. That question ran through my head.
And that's where this story ends. It's December 2nd today. Today is day of reunions, firsts, screams, shouts, fights, and... well, I can't spoil it.
Let's just say, it started out like any other day.
I woke up and ran to the door. I made it to the mall in my pajamas and brushed my teeth in a water fountain. I washed my face and cleaned up. Since I wasn't the richest gal, I wore a blue sweatshirt with gray sweatpants and Uggs. I won the shoes in an auction. Did you know Uggs are like 150 dollars? A little worth it; they're super comfortable. My hair chilled in a messy braid. I usually wore my hair down, but like I said: people change. And if I didn't say that, I'm saying it now.
That was a hell of a story. It's still sinking in, isn't it? As I turned the sign in Sonic Boom to 'Open', Austin walked right in. I was moody this morning, so I snap. "What do you want? If you're not going to buy anything, then get out!"
He looked at the drums. I saw a corn dog in his hand. "No eating in the store." I say.
He doesn't seem to care, or hear a word I say. He plays the drums carelessly, but fantastically, with the corn dogs. I hated that jerk.
"Aren't you supposed to be in jail?" I ask him.
"Aren't you supposed to be in a mental hospital?" he mimics, and takes a bite out of the corn dog.
"Gross. And no, I got out."
"Me too." he says, after he's swallowed. Well, at least he didn't talk with his mouthful. I can not stand when people do that! Or when they say 'libary' instead of library! Ugh, and when Styrofoam touches? I hate that! Apparently, I'm thinking out loud because Austin looks puzzled.
"When are you going back to school?" I ask, out of curiosity.
"January."
"Wow. Same."
"It's going to be a hell of a month with you."
"With me?" This guy seemed a little cocky. With me? What did that mean?
"Yeah, with you. You, me, 33 more days. We can hang out, right?"
"I... guess. I don't know. I'm not the kind to hang out with former prisoners."
"You know I didn't kill him, right?" Austin asks me.
I honestly don't know. He punched him, I heard sirens, he got arrested. I don't know. It makes sense for him to go to jail. Who else killed him? Austin's guilty, end of story. And I don't know why I agreed to hang out with him for 33 more days. Letting my guard down is the very last option, like I keep saying. It's something about Austin that's alluring and bad, but it's best if I stay away from him. It's not that Kyle didn't deserve to die, I mean he did. Or didn't. No one deserves to die. I guess. I mean, we all will one day, so don't we deserve it? Isn't it what's coming to us? My point is, no matter Kyle's character, he didn't need to die. Well, he actually did. I don't know. A rapist might deserve to be killed. Or a serial killer. And a rapist is what Kyle is. Was. He was a potential serial killer. What kind of dick hits and rapes a girl and tries to continue his old way two years later? He obviously wasn't done with me after we was imprisoned.
I remember the rape like it was yesterday; I have nightmares about it every night. It's like an evil thing haunting you and chasing you. Something coming back to life. Kyle. Coming back to life.
I scream my heart out after that thought. I'm having a freaking panic attack. Austin calms me down and, like a gentleman, doesn't demand an answer to the question. I'm quick to push him off of me.
"Get off! Get off! Off! Get the fuck off of me!" I find myself, screaming and crying. But not screaming to Austin. To Kyle. I'm reliving the nightmare. I shake and scream and cry. Not many people know what it feels like to get played, dissed, bullied, rejected, raped, thrown, pushed, and broken. And if they do, how about every single one of those over and over again. Kyle didn't just rape me once, or hit me once. It was constant and repeated, just like everything else. I'm not just some physco girl ready to give up. I'm a troubled, lost, unwanted girl ready to give up. And I did give up, but it didn't work out. I'm alive, to several people's, and my dismay. It's not fair and it never was fair how everybody else had easy lives and mines seemed to get worse by day. And I realized, the day I met Austin it began to fall apart.
We met at the park; I return home to find that my parents were ready to divorce. We went out for ice cream; my cat died, which actually was my only thing I could rely on. He made me feel all special; my parents declared that I was a mistake anyways, while arguing over custody. My parents divorced; Austin told me he was leaving. He kissed my cheek; my parents died. He said we'd talk everyday; he didn't respond to any of my emails.
Every day that I thought of him, or did anything that associated with his existence made my life turn into crap. And get flushed down the toilet, into a sewer with alligators, and other turdlings floating around. The poop represents my life, the sewer represents high school, the alligators represents the bullies, and the turdlings represent everybody else. Austin is the comb that accidentally got flushed down the toilet. I'm good with metaphors and analogies, sort of.
When he could have, Austin didn't leave. I'm surprised. I actually wanted him to. I didn't want him near me, at all. I didn't want anybody near me.
He lifted up my sleeve, exposing all my cuts and bruises. I'm not admitting to anything.
Okay, I cut sometimes. The other bruises are on parts of my body that I didn't allow doctors to touch. Like my arms and my back. I didn't want doctors to clean my wounds. It's not like they could anyway, I didn't have any insurance, so they couldn't legally put anesthesia on me to get me to stop resisting. I want everyone to see my bruises and learn something from them. That I'm a fighter, when I'm really a quitter. I give up on things, like life, when I use to try and fail, but choose to try again. I'm not who I appear to be, in some ways. But in other ways, I'm exactly who I appear to be.
Austin gets the idea and lets go of me.
"Why?" he asks.
"Don't worry about my life. Fix your own." I tell him and run upstairs to the practice room, turning the lock. I find a blade, and cut my wrist. Just one little cut. It hurts so badly. The pain is excruciating, but it's a break from my life. People don't understand why others cut. I do.
One: They get all their pain out
Two: The pain is all they think about, rather than their terrible life.
When I'm done, I feel better emotionally. Not mentally; I still hate my life. And not physically; I'm freaking bleeding, my skin is cut open.
I begin to cry and scribble in my songbook. I'm just so angry. I'm so sad. I'm so hurt. I'm so... broken. Austin pounds on the door. Well, this guy can't take a hint.
Believing that he's gone, I go over to my piano and let the words come out. Double Take is a song that I wrote a long time ago, but that's not what I sang. I sang and that's all that matters. I sang, which is something I stopped doing. I always wrote in my songbook, but I rarely sang anymore. When I'm finished, I feel even better. But what I least expected was applause.
What do ya think? Please review, follow, and favorite. I really want to hear what you think. Update Days: Saturdays. Like, the weekend. The day after Friday. I have a lot of homework from almost all of my classes, my computer is slow to turn on, chores, friends... well, I actually don't have any because I recently moved, but my new house is in work, and stuff. Well, there's an inside on my life.
So, basically, I begin the chapter on Friday and finish it up on Saturday. Very rarely will I not update on Saturday. If I don't update on a Saturday, I'm busy. But, I'll most likely never update on a Wednesday or a Thursday. Let's say I forget to update a Saturday, you shall not expect a chapter that following week, but that following Saturday I will post TWO chapters to show my apologies. But, I probably will not forget to update.
And, finally, thanks for reading! Now, just review, follow, favorite, and you have yourself another chapter. If you give me five reviews, I'll give you chapter two next Saturday. Four is also acceptable. Sorry, it's just that I worked really hard on this and I don't want to waste four hours of my life writing a story that isn't even being read because I've been through that.
This story had to come out because I promised it would in late September or early October, and September is coming to an end. I also tend to procrastinate. I never, ever, EVER break a promise!
And lastly, I'm working on a story for The Fosters, I should add, so that's two stories tied upon me. That'll be out in November. This story hopefully ends sometime around Spring Break, if all goes well. The Fosters story I'm planning to debut in November, I'm still trying to figure out a chapter one for that. I have a story for My Babysitter's a Vampire debuting in May and a story for Kick Ass coming out in the fall of 2014. So, I'm booked. I'll take suggestions for stories, but I'm not making it fairly long because of my other stories. And thanks if you took the time to read this author's note. I talk too much, but thanks.
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Chapter two is coming.
May the odds be ever in your favor.
~InOtherWords13~ 3
