When everything comes crashing down, you tend to stop and wonder what you had done to deserve the pain. I used to often wonder why bad things happen to good people. Now that I'm wiser, I know that there is no plain good people. We all have dark and light inside of us. In some ways, I think it is how we react to the bad things thrown our way that defines our darkness.
However, in some ways, I guess you could say I was born into darkness. I was raised in a world of hate. Then again, it never seemed that way at the time. I t was only until someone came and opened my eyes.
Don't let this introduction scare you. This is a beautiful, happy story. I'm just trying to defend myself before you judge me.
I was born into the Malfoy name with a silver spoon in my mouth. My childhood was filled with love, riches, and wonder. My parents were very much in love with each other almost as much as they loved us, their children.
My brother, Lucius, was quick-witted and brilliant. He had a silver tongue to match his silver eyes. He could charm anyone that he deemed worthy. He wasn't so kind to those he deemed unworthy- I realize now.
My twin sister, Pandora, was clever and dreamy. Her head was always off in the clouds as she explored her own ideas. Most people would think she was lost or behind in conversation, but she was always two steps ahead- shocking people with her wisdom at such a young age. Everyone knew she would be a powerful, brilliant witch.
I was the crowning jewel for my parents to bring out at dinner parties, however. From birth, I showed signs of beauty. My cheeks were always rosier than my twin's, and my hair always shinier. My mother would brush my hair with a careful hand every night until it gleamed. My father would always bring me back the most expensive dresses from his travels. I was their personal china doll with my porcelain skin, delicate features, and most importantly a closed mouth.
Though I was the beacon of my father's pride, he knew I was different than the others. When I was young, I would beg the house elves to have tea parties with me, I was interested in muggle things, and worst of all I had befriended a half
So, my father did as any other father would do. He fully exercised children should be seen and not heard. Especially around guests. He also spent more time with me than my siblings trying to show me how a lady of high society should act.
That said- I saw the fear in his eyes when Pandora and I received our Hogwarts letters.
"Throw that away darling. You'll be going to Beaxbatons, instead," my father said with a hint of another emotion. Fear? Or maybe annoyance?
"Daddy, I want to go to Hogwarts like you and mama did! Lucius is going. Why can't I?" Pandora huffed.
Tears started welling up in my eyes. I knew it was my fault Pandora couldn't go. Daddy knew I wouldn't make it into Slytherin. I was weak in his eyes. Nothing more than a fragile porcelain doll to him, but if he saved me from embarrassing the family name- I would have a very advantageous marriage due to my looks. I knew he was already looking into prospective husbands. Arranged marriages are very common amongst the purebloods. Lucius knew in his fourth year he would be marrying Narcissa Black. He was lucky because I knew they fancied each other well enough to have a happy marriage.
My father saw my tears, and wiped them away. "Don't cry princess. You'll look beautiful in those blue robes."
I whispered, "It's not that." Then a sob broke out, "Dory wants to go to Hogwarts, and it's my fault she can't."
My father struck me on the hand-careful not to mar my face. "It's crying like this that makes it your fault, Nova," he spoke sternly. I sobbed louder. He continued, "You'll be a disgrace to the family name if you don't straighten out."
"Do NOT talk to her like that!" Pandora's voice broke through the air like lightening. She picked up a piece of decorative pottery and chucked it at him.
"That is exactly what I want to see!" My father's voice rang out with pride. He then picked up my sister, and smacked her hard across the bum. "Now go to your room. Don't ever speak to me like that again, Pandora!"
At this point, I was cowering behind a chair. My father threw the chair across the room, and looked deep into my eyes. "I'll not have a weak daughter anymore. The house of Slytherin will tear you apart. That is our family's house: full of sharks. They are cunning and resourceful. They'll attack when they see weakness. Fuck it, I'll bribe your way in to Slytherin. Maybe you'll actually toughen up," he said with venom. I was terrified. Then, my father kissed me on the forehead and send me to my room.
My father had the house elves to a great deal of mine and Dory's shopping. I wasn't that surprised, but I guess I was hoping to spend the day in Diagon Alley. My father did have a heart, though. He surprised us by waking us up early before we left for Hogwarts so we could make one special stop.
"Whatever you want, girls," my father kept his tone level, but I swear he had a twinkle in his eye. Whatever anyone may say about my father- I know he loves his children. That is his redeeming quality.
He led us into a pet store. All of the furry creatures tugged at my heart strings. Why couldn't I just take the lot? They all need homes, and I have enough love to give. Also, Malfoy Manor could definitely use more life.
"Just one pet, Nova, and it has to be a toad, cat, or owl," my father spoke as if he read my mind. "Lucius has always been rather fond of his owl- plus it's a much more practical choice. It has a use in the wizarding world."
Lucius nodded in agreement. My brother was beautiful in my opinion. His sharp, pointed features were fierce but not aggressive. He was a rare kind of scary beauty. His white blonde hair was straight and flowing like a river. He reminded me of Tolkien's Legolas in some ways, and my father was like the elven king Thranduil.
Lucius bent down to my level and whispered, "You can use my owl when you need it. I know you have your eye on that black kitten. Get that one."
"Thank you, Brother!" I gleamed, and turned to see what Dora had found. Her eyes were set on a Snowy owl. The owl matched her with the look of wisdom behind large eyes.
I made my way over to the kitten Lucius mentioned. Her eyes were big and green. They weren't that haunting yellowish green most cats have. Her eyes were emerald green. "I'll name you Ivy Cat. Do you want to come to a castle with me?" I whispered as I stroked her back. She purred and head butted me.
'The train will leave with or without you three! I've already paid- grab your pets and let's move on," Father ordered.
King's Cross Station is always packed this day. I found the energy in the air to be electric and exhilarating. The excitement is in the air as students prepare to leave the nest for another year to study in an enchanted castle. Part of me feels too lucky for this to be real life.
Only one thing could make this day better, I had hoped mother would have been able to come wish us farewell, but she is rather ill these days.
I waited for my siblings to say their goodbyes- which were brief. Malfoys aren't the most sentimental family. Then, it was my turn.
"Daddy, I love you," I said quietly knowing affection shouldn't be made known in public.
"Hush, child, you will see me soon. The holidays will be here before you know it," Father spoke in a hushed down almost like he was afraid his voice would break. I felt sorry for him sometimes. He is such a tough man with a fierce reputation, but I know he feels as much I do. He has to hide it, and bite those feelings back. If I wore a mask like that every day, I would break.
Tears threatened release, but I held them back. I knew my father would be ashamed of me. I have to do better for the sake of the Malfoy name. So, I straightened my back, raised my chin high, and strode past my father without taking one look back.
I boarded the Hogwarts Express with a heavy heart and an open mind. Life as I knew it was changing, and I wasn't so sure of who I was going to become yet.
