Disclaimer: I don't own Facebook, Harry Potter, or any of the characters. If I did, I wouldn't be working every day. Or living with my Mom.

So, yes. I KNOW. Facebook didn't exist when Harry Potter took place. But, let's pretend it did. Each Chapter will be different books. I'm not going in order, so I won't be Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone first. I'll be jumping books and stuff. It will say in Chapter Titles which book. It will be from Harry's point of view. So when it says "You and 15 others like this", it's YOU as in Harry. THIS IS A PARODY.

Comments will be Italics.
Names will be underlined.
Statuses will be bold.
Dates and whatnot that I need will be like this.
Likes will be like this. And Likes on Comments Will be (Like This)
If a name is like this in a status, it means someone's been tagged.

June 30th, 1997

Harry James Potter: R.I.P Dumbledore

June 31st, 1997

Ginny Weasley Is Now Single

July 3rd, 1997

Harry James Potter: Ugh. Back at the Dursleys. NOT HAPPY. Damn you, Snape.
Ron Weasley: Harry, chill.
Nymphadora Tonks: You're there for now. ;)
Harry James Potter: ?
Alastor Moody: Nymphadora, don't say anything. Death Eaters could be trolling Potter's page.

July6th, 1997

Nymphadora Tonks Is Now In A Relationship With Remus Lupin
You, Molly Weasley and 12 Others Like This
Molly Weasley: Finally, Remus! Everyone's coming by for dinner tonight. I hope to see you two there!
Alastor Moody: Constant Vigilance, you two. We don't need Nymphadora unable to help the Order because you've knocked her up.
Nymphadora Tonks: Thanks, Mad-Eye. And of course, Molly!

July 7th, 1997

Hermione Granger: Off to the Burrow. I'll always miss you, Mum and Dad.
Ron Weasley: ?
Hermione Granger: I'll explain later, Ronald.
Harry James Potter: Next status is going to be Snape is at the Burrow. Everyone's there before me.

*10 Minutes Later*

Fred Weasley: Snape's at The Burrow!
Harry James Potter: Wait- what?
George Weasley: Jokes, Harry!
Fred Weasley: We saw you post it on Granger's status.

July 10th, 1997

Nymphadora Tonks Is Now Married To Remus Lupin
Molly Weasley, Hermione Granger and 12 Others like this
Harry James Potter: Oh wow. Congratulations!
Andromeda Tonks: I still disapprove, by the way. No warning, you just show up married one day! Honestly, girl.
Ted Tonks: My little girl. All married and grown up!
Nymphadora Tonks: Thanks, Harry! And Mum, grow up!
Charlie Weasley: Andy got told! (Fred Weasley and George Weasley Like This)

July 27th, 1997

Harry James Potter: At the Burrow! R.I.P Mad-Eye…..

Nymphadora Tonks: Constant Vigilance, Mad-Eye. R.I.P.

Ted Tonks: I MET HARRY POTTER!

Ted Tonks Is Now Friends With Harry Potter

Remus Lupin: Someone betrayed us. I bet it was Mundungus.

July 31st, 1997

Ron Weasley: Happy Birthday to Harry! Love you, Mate!
Draco Malfoy: Oh Look, Weasel's gay for Potter!
Hermione Granger: Shut it, Malfoy. Ronald's with me. I think...

Nymphadora Tonks: Ugh.
Molly Weasley: Everything okay, dear?
Nymphadora Tonks: Yeah. Just brilliant.
Molly Weasley: Would you and Remus like to come for dinner tonight? We're celebrating Harry's birthday.
Nymphadora Tonks: We'd love to, Molly. What time?
Molly Weasley: Come at 3.

August 1st, 1997

Molly Weasley: My little boy's getting married…The years have passed too fast.
Bill Weasley, Fleur Delacour and 5 Others Like This

Nymphadora Tonks: Awkward.
Charlie Weasley: ?
Nymphadora Tonks: You, Charlie. You are awkward.
Charlie Weasley: How so?
Nymphadora Tonks: Just cause.

Harry Potter: I could be doing more important things, but…What The Hell? I'm going to a wedding.

Bill Weasley: Nymphadora Tonks, my wedding's going to beat yours!
Nymphadora Tonks: Only because you've been planning it for a year. I got married first though. Don't forget. (and I got married in a pub with a drunk as a witness, but I guess it'll do for now)

*Sometime passes*

August 30th, 1997

Nymphadora Tonks Is Now Single
Charlie Weasley Likes This
Andromeda Tonks: …..I would say I told you so…..but, I won't.
Molly Weasley: What?No way! Come to the Burrow! We'll have tea and talk!

Harry James Potter: Haven't been here in a few years. HECK YES.

Kingsley Shacklebolt: People should stop disappearing. Honestly. Without word to anyone? I'm starting to think half of you are dead.
Nymphadora Tonks: I'm not! I just haven't talked to any of you lately! Keep in touch, okay?
Kingsley Shacklebolt: We know you're not dead, Dora, don't worry. It's mostly the trio, Remus and the others who have just up and disappeared. I will keep in touch!

George Weasley: We're still running WWW, everyone! Owl Order (For Now)

*More time…Tis now November! Oh! Imagine that.*

Hermione Granger: That foul git!
(Via Mobile)

Nymphadora Tonks Is Married To Remus Lupin
Molly Weasley, Nymphadora Tonks and 10 Others Like This
Andromeda Tonks: Again. Honestly?

Bill Weasley: Damn, boy. You've messed up.
Fleur Delacour: Je suis d'accord. Garçon stupide. ((I agree. Stupid boy.))

**Sorry. I'm skipping more!**
March 25
th, 1998

Molly Weasley: Nymphadora Tonks, you didn't get a Bridal Shower, dear! At least let us throw you a baby shower!
Nymphadora Tonks: Us, as in you? No, Molly. The time's aren't right.
Molly Weasley: Don't be silly, dear. You deserve one!
Nymphadora Tonks: Molly, I appreciate everything. Really I do. I don't need a baby shower.

Remus Lupin: It's a sad day when you're a little scared of your wife.
Nymphadora Tonks Likes This
George Weasley: Mr Werewolf, you have earned yourself a life of jokes for this one.
Remus Lupin:

Bill Weasley: Never a dull day in this war. Oh well.
Kingsley Shacklebolt: What's happened now?
Bill Weasley: They're all here. Showed up last night with a dead house elf.
Kingsley Shacklebolt: Merlin.

Harry Potter: R.I.P Dobby…

Luna Lovegood: Thank you, Dobby. For saving me. R.I.P.

***AND, OH. Skipping more time! Don't mind me.***

Remus Lupin: It's a boy! For once, I'm happy!
Molly Weasley, Bill Weasley and 15 Others LikeThis
Molly Weasley: What's his name?
Remus Lupin: Teddy Remus Lupin.
Fleur Delacour: He looks like who? ((Fleur's French, so yeah. Let's say her English is bad.))
Remus Lupin: I think he's like her. She thinks he looks like me!
George Weasley: For Once? LOL.

Harry James Potter, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley checked in at Hogwarts

Severus Snape: Get out of my castle, Potter.

Harry James Potter: Voldemort's dead…R.I.P Snape, Tonks, Lupin, Fred, Colin, Lavender. Thank you all.

Hermione Granger: R.I.P Snape, Lupin, Tonks, Fred, Colin and Lavender!

Ron Weasley: R.I.P Fred, Snape, Tonks, Lupin, Colin and Lavender.

George Weasley: R.I.P Fred…

Andromeda Tonks: Remus, Nymphadora, I'll miss you. I'll watch Teddy for you.

And that's the first chapter. But, final book. …. Yeah. Lol