"It's like I'm swimming endlessly with no land in sight.

It's like I'm hanging off of the cliff of a mountain and I can't climb back up.

You're being taken from me, and I can't do anything."

Stuck in the Past

Riko confessed to you a few months ago didn't she?

"Burning flames of jealousy" was what Mari-san said to me a few days after.

I tried to confront you about it but I was too carried away that I forgot. I ended up only telling Riko about it, despite that, it was only vague. She would've never detected my hidden feelings for you. How do you expect something that isn't even mentioned in the first place?

I always thought that you would fall for Riko. At first, I didn't mind that you two were getting closer. You are from Tokyo after all. You're from the city while we're from the countryside. Numazu, unlike Tokyo, wasn't so technically advanced, wasn't so populated.

Riko was…..well, a beautiful girl from the city. A pianist, a transferee, a friend. And also…

The girl you would fall in love in a few days after she confessed to you months ago.

Oh god. It hurt so much. It hurt so much. Seeing you with her, seeing you just smile when she talks, seeing you laugh at her jokes that seem to lack humor. She's really happy to have you. You seem really happy with her as well.

During practice, while both of you are talking, you sent me a glance with a pitying look. What are you pitying me for? I caught myself staring at Riko then.

Is that why you sent me that look? Because you thought I was in love with Riko?

I'm in love with you! Not with Riko! I'm in love with my childhood friend since elementary. Riko….she's just a friend! Chika, I'm in love with you.

My memory of the time was blurry but I can clearly remember and feel the ache of my heart. The pain of my soul. The longing, the jealously, the intense feeling of sadness and regret. They all clashed and I couldn't hold it in anymore but…..

I kept it in anyways.

I still dream and long for the day of when you'll be mine. Where I will finally get the courage to confess and I'll be able to hear your sweet, lovely "yes".

~You Watanabe

How long was it till Riko confessed to me? Probably a few months ago.

It was surprising when she did. I didn't know that she harbored feelings for me. At first I was hesitant, in the world we live in, girls or boys dating the same gender as they are aren't generally well accepted. As a result, I was scared.

Love though is a feeling I have been feeling for a long time. Eventually, I accepted Riko's confession. And we started dating.

We started dating after the incident with the three of us was okay. The three of us were now on good terms. I admit though, I was spending tons of my time with Riko that I temporarily forgot about Yō but I usually talked to Riko about her. About how she was so cool and beautiful and….

…just perfect.

Of course I didn't talk to Riko about Yō so much that she found it suspicious. She wouldn't have confessed to me if I did that. So many signals I sent to alert Riko that…I…..

I…..love Yō. I want her to realize this feelings I have for her. Though why….just why…

….don't you love me back?

You wouldn't stop looking at Riko. You don't talk about her you surely keep looking at her. It felt so bad. Yō, I loved you so much…..and yet…..you love Riko. She was the 'one' for you. And my feelings went over your head.

And this leads to why I dated Riko instead. The opportunity to not be alone was presented, I hoped it would be you who would've sent me the offer but it was Riko. I didn't want her to feel bad so I did everything I could to make her happy.

If it were you Yō, I would've done the same. I would've loved you till I die. Nothing can compare to this unrequited love for you.

My unrequited feelings…..I shoved them aside. What's the use? What's the point?

Love is a bad thing and at the same time, it is the best thing a person could ever feel or rather, have. Riko cared for me and I doubt that Yō looks at me the same way Riko does.

I still have a long way to go. My broken heart isn't something you easily fix. A broken heart is something that isn't easily fixed to begin with.

But I have Riko now, she'll help me. I know she will.

Yō, thanks for being my first love.

~Chika Takami

Someone tell me why I keep making sad stories. I nearly cried because of this and I'm not joking.

Probably because I love Yō, Chika, and Riko and I keep hurting them.