Summary: Starts right up after the season three finale. What was meant to be a heartfelt goodbye between Jasper and Eleanor turns to heartbreak thanks to Jasper and his insecurities. See how our favorite Princess and her Bodyguard get on without each other. Will Eleanor be able to last six months or will she end her adventure earlier? Will Jasper choose love and chase after her? We shall see.

Author's Note: The first chapter is a teaser. It's a flashback between Jasper and Eleanor before she takes her leave. Reviews are appreciated. Now, on with the show!


Chapter 1

This was it. First day of the rest of her life. Somehow, she thought it would feel different. It didn't when she woke up, or when she packed all her things or even now when the footmen took her bags away. The empty feeling in her stomach was still there. More so now after her last conversation with Jasper.

He never saw the letter; of course he must have seen the letter. If not, where was it? She had looked for his reply 100 times and the stupid book had been empty. Unless she put it in the wrong book. What were the chances? One in a million? Well, so we're they.

Eleanor couldn't wonder. She would never be able to leave if there was the slightest possibility her letter was there and she just placed it in the wrong book. How many hollowed out books could there possibly be in the library?


None

Well in addition to their book, none. Their book was the only one. She was sure of it now. The princess had just spent the last twenty minutes pulling out volume after volume of books which had very likely gone unopened for decades. The entire row of books in which theirs sat in was now piled up on the ground at her feet. But the princess didn't stop there. The searched the top and bottom rows too. Those books she tossed on the couch after opening and shaking them in hopes that her letter would fall out. Nothing and she was late for her flight.

"Great."

She said to no one in particular as she removed her floppy wool hat and tossed it with the rest of the books on the couch.


This was it.

Eleanor would either be staying or leaving today and whatever the choice he'd be in each equation. Last night when he had confronted her in her room he had begged her not to leave them behind and he hoped that wouldn't be the case. If she needed an escape she could leave but he'd follow.

One would think that the coronation would have had him on edge but it pales in comparison to this day. Still, he got ready just like he had every other morning. Wearing his official palace suit. Usually he knocked but this morning he strolled right in. Panic sweeping through him when he sees her bags are gone. She wouldn't leave without goodbye right?

No, he refused to believe that. Hastily he heads down the familiar corridor leading towards the wing of the library. She had to be there. If she wasn't? He'd allow his walls to fall and let himself break but for now he held onto the smallest of hope she was there.

She is.

Relief instantly rushing through him. The anxiety he had felt fading. He's leaning against the doorway of the library. His arms folded over his chest and like always his eyes are locked on her because he can't look away. A shadow of a smile passing his lips as he watches her, lost in thought and not yet noticing him. It takes a second for his attention to fall to the books scattered about the couch and he wonders if she's looking for that letter confessing her love that he never had the chance to read.

"You know you really looked like a Princess in that gown but I prefer this look on you much more."

She wasn't in anything fancy. A simple short black dress yet it still had its affect on him. His voice announcing himself causing her to finally turn to him with a raised brow.

"It's natural. You're not trying to impress the media or the people. You're just you and I think that's god damn breathtaking."

Eleanor turned to face the direction of his voice only to find the one person she couldn't face today. Surely it wasn't that late already? It wasn't her intention to run into him. On the contrary, she was trying to get away from him. And that's why you're looking for the letter you wrote him? Right.

"Yes. Well, that might be worth something if it weren't coming from you, Jasper."

So they were back to this again? Back to him just being the bodyguard and easily dismissed when requested? Maybe Eleanor viewed him as that but he couldn't say the same for himself.

"But as it is, its worth nothing so...off you go."

This time, she wasn't as smug. It was just something to say other than what she really wanted to. Something other than thank you or to ask again why he was here. She knew why. He came to see her. It was always his answer. This time it could be accompanied by him trying to convince her not to go. Maybe even asking her why she was here. Finding the letter in an odd book had been a long shot even for her. Truth is, she wanted to see him. So she bought time.

Eyes shifting from her and looking at the mess on the floor and couch. Various books, collector's editions thrown carelessly around the room. If she didn't give a rat's ass about him then she wouldn't have bothered to look for the letter.

"No"

His voice holding that authority he had used on her when he meant business. She might be the Princess but he wasn't going to be taking orders.

"If it wasn't worth anything you wouldn't be in here looking for a letter that I never got."

With courage he pushes himself from his spot and enters the room more. His eyes never once leaving hers.

"Your bags are packed and ready to go" swallowing the lump in his throat. "Were you even planning to say goodbye?"

Eleanor hated him more now than she had in many nights alone with her thoughts. She glared at him as he approached her as if hoping he would keep a prudent distance but he didn't. He was making it so hard on her right now.

"Was this your plan all along? Tell me to go and then guilt me at the last second?"

"Shut up"

There's a fire in his eyes now. He's done with this bull shit of her talking down to him. Of her blaming him for something he didn't have control of.

Every time she said something mean or uncalled for, she only hated herself more. For buying him time to come see her before she left. For throwing the truth in her face. For making her lie to his face for a change.

"No"

'No' if it was the truth it would have hurt but he reads her well. She's just as affected by his presence as he is of hers. He becomes bolder, now standing face to face with her and breaking any space between them.

"Liar"

Calling her bluff, lips pursed together before correcting himself.

"Had you not chosen to say goodbye it wouldn't be because you didn't care. It would have been because you cared too much and were scared that I'd be the only one to convince you not to go."

"Is that what you want to do to me…after some speech telling me to go, you show up and play there- these stupid mind games!"

Eleanor threw her hands in the air and walked away from him, just around him to collect her hat before putting it angrily on top of her head. "

Mind games? Brows furrowing in confusion at the accusation she had just delivered to him. Watching as she breezes past him, grabs her hat and angrily placing it a top her head. Always with the dramatics.

"If you call me coming here to make one last plea for you to stay because I love you then yes sure...call it mind games. I however rather call it fighting for the woman I love."

Now she was trying to contain herself but her mouth ran off with her and said things just to be hurtful. Of course she would be back. She was forcing herself to leave by now; in what world could she ever stay away?

"And I'll tell you what it isn't working! I'm leaving and maybe I won't be back at all!"

Now she was trying to contain herself but her mouth ran off with her and said things just to be hurtful. Of course she would be back. She was forcing herself to leave by now; in what world could she ever stay away?

Now that Jasper had said it out loud it slipped out so easily and he wasn't going to put a filter on it.

"Cut the theatrics and stop acting like a child. You're coming back because like it or not this" gesturing around them "is home."

"This hasn't been home in some time. You were home and you ruined that. "

His stomach dropped at the mention of once bring home to her. He understood it well. When he had been home those two weeks he had felt homesick not because of being away from the palace but being away from his Princess.

Eleanor didn't want to argue any more. Just the day before he said the words she'd been dying to hear but she couldn't help herself. It was the reason she wanted to leave. She didn't want to self destruct and take him with her. A fresh start, keeping busy would help her see a clearer picture.

"Jasper, this is all wrong. I need to go. I don't want to say things I don't mean and..."

With a heavy sigh she stopped the 'dramatics', as he called them, and just leaned against the bookshelves in silence. She thought her next words over carefully but nothing came to mind. She had to leave, no question about it.

"Why would you tell me I can go and now try to stop me? Jasper, I have to leave. I can't be here right now...everything is so fucked up."

"Because"

Failing with words, his eyes flicking around the room before settling back on her.

"Because I thought you were using this offer as an excuse to escape. If you're going to leave then leave the right way."

He was rambling. Not making any sense but then again he couldn't think sensibly when it came to her. She was going to leave he knew that.

"So then I'll resign. It doesn't need to just be a fresh start for you."

Taking a couple steps forward so he can reach for both of her hands.

"It can be a fresh start for us. Not the bodyguard and the Princess. Just Jasper and Eleanor...just us."

"I need to get away from you. I don't think straight when it comes to you and as long as I'm here, I'm your girl."

Looking down at her hands in his, she gripped his hands then looked up at him.

"I can't be your girl right now I don't want to be anyone's. You took your time and had your space. Now I need mine so just let me go. Don't keep me here, Jasper."

The idea of him resigning, not working for her brothers or mother, just being Jasper was much too tempting. He had been 'just Jasper' to her for some time, hence why he wasn't on her detail but his words had a nice ring to them.

"My time?"

She had heard him before try to explain his reasoning for why he left. She didn't hear him fully out because she had walked away.

"Len I didn't take space to get away from you. I left because I was doing everything in my power to secure our future together. It was being threatened."

"Well now I need space! I can't think straight when I'm around you or away from you and I need this!"

Pulling her hands from his, she glared up at him. She could have left, walked around him, pushed him away but truth was she didn't want to. She wanted to forgive him. Again. Take him back. Again. Be happy again but how many times would she have to suffer like this? Each time it was worse.

The moment she wretched her hands away from his he felt like she had torn out his very heart. His gaze fixed on his hands hanging alone before he catches sound of her phone vibrating on the couch.

On the couch, her phone was vibrating. Very likely Sebastian wondering if she flaked out on him. Did she? She didn't know. All she knew was she had so many chances to walk away from him and didn't. She was exactly where she really wanted to be.

"It's him isn't it?"

There's bitterness in his tone but beneath it is heartbreak because he knows she's choosing him.

"Jasper... I can't"

"So what I'm supposed to just stand here and watch you go? I'm supposed to stay here while you go off to explore the world with some guy? Well that's not going to happen because you're my girl and I'm your guy. I know we are messy and complicated but we're real. I know I've hurt you more times than I can count but in some twisted way everything I've done is for you. I love you Eleanor and I want to be with you."

Again, he hears the vibration of her phone only it's longer and he knows her travel buddy is calling. Hesitantly he reaches out and frames her face in his hands.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me...tell me you don't want me because that's what it's going to take for me to let you walk away. That's what it will take to keep me from hopping on the first plane to follow you...and I don't care if your brother doesn't approve, he could deport me and I'd manage to find my way back to you because you're it for me. There is only you."

The pad of his thumbs shaking as he draws them along her cheeks. His voice quivering now.

"Tell me you don't love me and I'll let you go."

There was no need to answer that. She had her moment of cruelty in telling him she was leaving. It only hurt her more. She would never understand how he could have said those things to her face. Eleanor couldn't do it. She couldn't lie and say she didn't love him when he was her everything. She couldn't ask him to let her go when she wanted to be right there in his arms. She couldn't even tell him it was Sebastian on the phone.

She didn't need to say any of those things. He already knew everything there was to know. For a moment she thought she could step past him and just go but he held her face, demanding she break his heart.

"I love you. I think I always will. I want to love me more."

In the spirit of not leaving anything unsaid, she reached for his face and pulled it to her own so their lips could meet one last time before she was on her way.

"El"

But he never finishes what he wants to say because her lips are covering his. He returns the kiss instantly. Hands sliding lower so he can wrap his arms around her waist drawing her in closer against him. He kisses her with everything that he has making a silent promise that this is what their future will hold. No more secrets and no more lies.

Eleanor kissed him back with the same surrender she did on the balcony. She wasn't keeping her feelings but instead putting them all on display for him. If he wanted her, he could have her. Right here, right now.

Then it strikes him. This isn't a kiss of promise, its goodbye. She's kissing him goodbye because she's choosing to leave. He's going to have to get by without her in his life. Drawing back so he can look at her, not realizing tears had been welling in his eyes.

"Don't go. Please don't go or if you do at least let me come with you. You're all I have Eleanor you are the best thing that has ever happened to me."

Leaning his forehead against hers.

"Please don't take that away from me."

She felt like a whore throwing herself at him like this but he didn't seem to want her. When he pulled away a confused princess stared up at him.

"Jasper I thought we… you don't want this?"

She had been so lost in the moment that she forgot she was leaving right after. Maybe she was just leaving then. For once he was turning down her advances- well, maybe not for once. He had done so in the tunnels as well.

"This is not all about you. It's about me too. I have needs and right now I need to go."

"Want this?" He repeats with his brows furrowing in confusion until he realizes why exactly she had fused their lips together so passionately. A look of disgust now mirroring in his eyes.

"You thought I wanted to fuck you? Is that how low you think of me? That this"

Gesturing back and forth between them.

"Is all about sex? Or did you want a quick fix so that you could be satiated for those six months away since Sebastian won't be able to deliver."

Well fuck, now he had gone and done it.

Eleanor's hands dropped. He was jealous, this much she had known. But here he was begging her one moment then being nasty to her the next.

The second she removed herself from his hold he knew, he knew this was it and that he was losing her.

"My mistake… I guess I don't know any better. I sure know how to pick them."

She couldn't take the way he was looking at her so she bowed under his arm and walked away from him. She had wasted enough time here. They could have left on good terms but no. That was over with.

"Don't follow me or I'll have you arrested."

His back remained to her as she threatened jail time on him, something she had done before.

Eleanor picked up her phone and bag from the couch and left the library before he saw her crying. She didn't want to leave like this but if she couldn't have one last good memory of him, then he couldn't have one of her neither.

Every part of him wanted to chase after her but his feet remained planted at his spot. He had just told her seconds ago he was done hurting her and already he had failed her. This was it. She was gone. This was the memory he'd be left to cling onto for six months. She would return healed and he'd be broken. She would come back strong while he would be weak and she's come back new and improved while he'd be wrecked.

Six months, six months he'd be without her. His chest felt like it was constricting. Hastily undoing his tie because he suddenly can't find it in him to breathe. Sebastian, he didn't want to pay him mind but if he had been able to get the Princess to leave there was no telling what else he could do. He was the reason for why she was leaving the palace and him behind. She'd find happiness and he'd be the reason behind it.

The tears he had been holding back now freely falling. Just like that the love of his life was gone. He hadn't gone after her because he hadn't been worthy enough to. Finally, turning his attention to the door she had just walked out of. A part of him hoping she'd be there only to be greeted to nothing. In Jasper's eyes he was nothing but a vessel. Eleanor hadn't just left, she had taken his heart with her as well and now he was left with this feeling of emptiness. He would never be whole, not until she was back.

"Goodbye Princess."

End of Flashback