Writer's Block
SWAT Kats: Down, But Not Out

by Greg Williams

Chance(voice over): Crud! I can't believe this is happening! The TurboKat's been impounded, the hangar's been dismantled and the SWAT Kats disbanded. It happened about a year ago. I won't bore you with the details, let's just say Commander Feral had a field day. If it wasn't for the interferance of Mayor Briggs we'd be in jail right now. You heard me. Callie's mayor now that Manx has retired. The bad guys? Well, Dark Kat's in the maximum security island prison of Kata Penthe in the North Katlantic Ocean, Dr. Viper is dead, thanks to one of his mutations he couldn't control, but there are rumors running around that he's cloned himself. The Metallikats are piles of junk in Professor Hackles lab, and he vows they'll stay that way. And finally The Pastmaster is stuck for all time in an in-between dimension of time. Don't ask me to explain it. But you know what finally adds insult to injury? Burke and Murray. Those low-life rednecks lorded over us every chance they could get, bragging that we've REALLY been brought down. Now, I'm working as a cook in the Enforcer headquarters commisary. A cook! Sweet justice as Feral once said to me. Jake's in charge of the evidence locker. Let me tell you were both mad as hell!

Enforcer HQ commisary. Chance is busy over the grill cooking some hamburger patties.

"Well, lookie who we got's here." says a familar red-neck voice "A fly-boy flippin burgers!"

Burke laughs at Murray's joke.

"Good one Murray! Hey Furlong, unless you flip yerself you ain't gettin in the air anytime soon!"

Both laugh heartily as Chance seethes. He scoops up one of the patties and throws it right at Murray who ducks just in time and the pattie lands squarely on Burke's face who screams as the hot pattie burns his face.

"Why you....!"

"That's enough!" yelled Commander Feral. "You two, for the last time get out before I bring you in for disturbing the piece!"

"He started it!" yelled Murray.

"NOW!" screamed Feral.

Both of them scramble to leave the room. Feral castes Chance with a glare. Chance looks back at Feral as he slams another pattie on the grill. Feral chuckles as he leaves. Chance growls loudly.

Evidence Locker. Jake's behind the desk with a bored look on his face. Just then Lieutenant Felina Feral walks in.

"Afternoon Lieutenant." says Jake boredly.

"Hi Jake. Just wanted to see how your doing."

"Do the words 'Bored out of my skull' mean anything to you?" says Jake.

"I'm sorry. You two got the short end last year."

"You've been saying that for almost a year Felina. It's getting a little old."

"All right. See you around." says Felina

"Wait Lieutenant. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. It's just the way we've been treated ever since. You'd think your uncle would give us some slack. Heck, we've literally saved this planet!"

"I know" says Felina "I've tried talking to him but he never listens to me on the subject."

"I know your doing your best. Thanks anyway."

Hallways of Enforcer HQ. Chance is walking down a hallway heading home for the day when another kat stops him.

"Chance? Chance Furlong?!"

Chance does a double take when he see's him.

"Leonard Kirby? No way!"

They both embrace each other like old chums.

"Man it's been years since we've seen each other!" says Chance "Where have you been?"

"Being an Enforcer" says Leonard "I've been serving aboard the Enforcer Navy for the past five years keeping the peace in the Persian Sea. I only got back about 2 months ago."

"Man it's great to see you again! Hey, stop by the apartment later, I'd like you to meet a good buddy of mine."

"Jake 'Razor' Clawson?"

Chance's face falls.

"Oh, you heard."

"Who hasn't? Feral bragged to the entire service how he brought those 'dangerous criminals' out of the sky."

"Well the invitation still stands."

"Thanks. I'll be there."

Chance and Jake's apartment. A run-down little place that's no better than the apartment in the salvage yard. Jake is cooking dinner while Chance is sitting on a ratty couch watching a "Scaredy Kat" toon. A knock on the door alerts them to someone there.

"Must be your old pal Leonard." says Jake.

Jake opens the door and finds Leonard there.

"Come on in Leonard. Chance has told me about you two."

"Thanks. Hey Chance, you still hooked on those Scaredy Kat toons?"

"Always. Have a seat man. Jake, get a milk for Leonard."

"You got it."

"No offense guys but this place is aweful."

"It's all we could afford on our measly pay." says Jake

"Feral?" says Leonard.

"Feral." says Chance.

"That's a subject I'd like to talk to you about. But not now. Right now I'd like to catch up with one of my old buddies."

"No argument here." says Chance.

Next day after work. Chance is sitting in Leonard's apartment.

"So what's this you want to talk about Feral?" says Chance

"You never liked him did you? How'd you like a chance to take him out?"

Chance blinks.

"Your joking right?"

"Oh no. Feral's been an idiot since day one. And that slack-assed Steele is no better. Which is why tomorrow me and several friends are planning to take out Feral and his niece, Steele and Mayor Briggs and impose our own government in this city!"

"No! Callie too? Are you nuts?!"

"Listen Furlong, you are either with us, or against us! Tiger!"

From another room step out Tiger Conklin.

"Forgot all about me didn't you?" says Tiger

At this point Chance breaks for it and runs out of the apartment.

"Get him!" yells Leonard

Chance runs down the street with Tiger and Leonard in pursuit. He looses them in an allyway. He spot a payphone on a corner and runs to it. He inserts a quater and dials a number.

"Hi, you've reached Chance and Jake's place, leave a number at the beep."

"Jake! You gotta help me. Where are you buddy? Leonard's planning some kind of hostile takeover of Megakat City! Get ahold of Feral and Miss Briggs! Hurry! Aw crud!"

Chance see's Leonard and Tiger and runs. He finds himself in a deadend alleyway. They both run in and punches can be heard, then a thud. A sedan pulls up and they drag an unconsious Chance in and drive away.

Apartment. Jake listens to Chance's phone call. He immediatly picks up the phone and dials.

"Commander Feral please."

After a few moments.

"This better be good Clawson."

"It is. Listen Commander, I just got a phone call from my buddy Chance and he says a couple people are planning some kind of hostile takover of Megakat City. It sounded completely genuine. You, Felina, Steele and Miss Briggs are targets."

"You expect me to believe all this? If this is a giant hoax Clawson I swear I'll have both your heads on pikes at the entrance to Enforcer Headquarters!"

"It's not a hoax Commander. He said a friend of his was planning it all."

"Who?"

"An old friend of his named Leonard Kirby, and he's supposed to be an Enforcer himself. He got back about two months after a stint with the Enforcer Navy in the Persian Sea."

"Leonard Kirby? Never heard of him. Goodbye Clawson."

"Commander wait, what if this is true? Check out my story on the Kirby character, please!"

Dial tone. Enforcer HQ, Feral's office. He's just hung up the phone and turns to his computer and types "LEONARD KIRBY".

SUBJECT FOUND: LEONARD KIRBY, REPORTED AWOL AFTER NOT REPORTING BACK TO DUTY ABOARD AIRCRAFT CARRIER M.K.S. AMERIKAT. KNOWN TO HARBOR HATRED FOR ENFORCER COMMANDER ULYSSES FERAL. ASSUMED ARMED AND DANGEROUS.

"Damn! Steele! Get your slack-tailed butt in here!"

"Yes Commander?"

"Put out an APB on Leonard Kirby. I've found out that he's planning some kind of hostile takeover of the city."

"How did you find---"

"JUST DO IT!!"

"Yes sir!"

Leonard's apartment. Chance is alone tied and gagged to a chair. Sirens announce that the Enforcers have arrived. There is a loud knock at the door.

"Open up! This is Lieutenant Felina Feral of the Enforcers!"

She pounds the door again.

"I said open up!"

Felina kicks the door in and trains her weapon around the apartment and see Chance tied up. She removes the gag.

"About freakin time you got here Lieutenant!" says Chance "Kirby and Tiger Conklin are already on their way!"

"Tiger Conklin? He's involved too?"

"Yes! Now get me out of here! I have to stop him!"

"Leave this to the Enforcers."

"Katdabbit Lieutenant let me get him on my own! You trusted T-Bone, why should Chance Furlong be any different?"

"Not a good idea Lieutenant." says one of the other Enforcers.

"Button it! All right Furlong. I'll give you that chance. Get in my car."

"Thank you."

They get into Felina's car and drive off. Streets. Tiger Conklin is driving down the road and parks in front of Enforcer Headquarters. He gets out and heads inside the building across the street. He's a couple stories up the building and looks out toward the Enforcer building. At the entrance Commander Feral and several Enforcers come out and talk amonst each other. Tiger takes out a rifle and aims for Feral's head. Just as Tiger fires he's tackled from behind. The shot just barely misses Feral. The Enforcers with him rush toward the building weapons drawn. Tiger turns and see's who's tackled him: Jake. Tiger picks up the gun and tries to shoot him but Jake kicks it away.

"Nice to see you again Conklin." says Jake

"Your going down SWAT Kat!" says Tiger "You cost me millions!"

"You did it to yourself Conklin! You dumped toxic waste in your own mines. What, did you think you were going to get away with it?"

"I might have if you hadn't interfered!"

Tiger rushes Jake but he sidestep him. The sound of running footsteps is heard.

"Give up Conklin. You can't win."

"Watch me!"

Feral and several Enforcers enter the room just as Tiger rushes Jake again.

"Freeze!" yells Feral.

Tiger keeps coming. Jake jumps and holds onto a beam and kicks Tiger away. He flies across the room and crashes through the window and goes screaming all the way which ends in a sickening thud.

"Very well done Clawson." says Feral "Your under arrest."

"What?!"

"Get him out of here."

"I saved your life Feral!"

"You also killed the person who tried to do it. Get him out of here."

"Ingrate."

Mayor Briggs office. Callie is busy with some paperwork when someone crashes through one of her windows. She screams in shock. It's Leonard, and he takes out a gun and fires. Callie just manages to get out of the way. Chance slams the door open and runs toward Leonard. He shoots and grazes Chance in the shoulder but Chance keeps coming and tackles Leonard and they fight on the floor for the gun.

"Get out Callie" shouts Chance "hurry!"

Callie runs out of the room while Chance and Leonard continue to fight. They both get punches in until Lieutenant Feral rushes in, gun drawn.

"Freeze!"

Leonard decks Chance hard and runs toward the window he crashed through and jumps out. Chance and Felina head for the window and find that Leonard has landed into the cockpit of the TurboKat! It's in hover mode at the moment. Leonard gives Chance a wicked grin and flies off.

"Now it's personal!" growls Chance.

"Come on, let's get in my jet." says Felina.

On the roof of a neighboring building sits an Enforcer jet. Both Chance and Felina run to it but Chance stops her.

"I need to do this myself Lieutenant."

"Negative. It's my plane."

Felina turns toward the jet to get in but Chance chops her in the neck. She falls hard.

"Sorry Lieutenant. This is my fight."

Chance gets in and flies off in Felina's jet. He soon catches up with Leonard.

"Leonard, stop this now before you force me to shoot."

"Shoot? Ha! You'd never shoot down your old plane Furlong. Beside's your precious TurboKat is a lot more powerful than that Enforcer antique your flying."

"I'm warning you Kirby!"

"And I'm warning YOU, back off!"

"Never!"

Chance fires his jets guns but Leonard flies the TurboKat like a pro. They head into the city and dodge skyscrapers left and right.

"Give it up Leonard! I'm an ace pilot."

Leonard does a loop-de-loop and gets behind Chance. He fires a missile and Chance banks hard to avoid it. He then flies into a cloud bank and out of site.

"Coward!" yells Leonard "Come out and fight!"

"This is Feral, surrender immediatly!"

Leonard see's a squadron of Enforcer choppers heading his way.

"Your not serious are you Commander?"

"All choppers, open fire!"

Every helicoptor opens fire but Leoanrd dodges all the shots and fires several missiles, knocking out several choppers. Meanwhile Chance is making a direct run at Leonard and the TurboKat. Leonard doesn't even see him coming until his proximity alarm goes off.

"See ya, BUDDY!"

Chance pulls the handle and ejects seconds before his jet crashes into the TurboKat. Leonard screams as the jet bears down on him and smashes right into him destroying the cockpit. The mangled heap falls from the sky. Chance lowers his head in grief as he watches it go down. He then realizes that the mess is heading for Enforcer Headquarters.

"Aw crud!"

As Chance touches down on the street, Feral's chopper lands nearby. He gets out and stalks toward Chance with a furious look on his face and backhands Chance across the face. Chance lands hard on the pavement.

"That it IT Furlong! Your going to the slammer for this! This IS THE LAST TIME YOU DESTROY ANYTHING!!!"

"That's enough!"

They both turn to see Mayor Briggs walk up.

"Commander Feral, I want to have a talk with you in your office. Chance, your coming too. And make sure you bring along Jake, your niece and Steele also."

"What's this all about Miss Briggs?!" yells Feral.

"In...your...office."

Feral's office. Callie sits down at Feral's desk. Feral, Felina, Jake, Chance, Steele and two other Enforcers are here.

"You do realize this has been a long time coming." says Callie "Feral, since day one you have hounded these two. I won't stand for it any longer. Commander Ulysses Feral, your fired."

"What---?"

"Get him out of here." says Callie.

The other two Enforcers escort a fuming Feral out. Steele chuckles to himself.

"Now then" says Callie "Lieutenant Felina Feral. I hearby make you Commander of the Enforcers."

"You what?!" says Steele "You can't do that, I'm next in line!"

"Yes....I can Mr. Steele. Don't make me fire you too."

Steele groans and collapses into a chair.

"I-I don't know what to say Mayor."

"Save it. As for you two, I hearby reinstate the SWAT Kats. I will have the TurboKat rebuilt, your hanger made operation again and all your equipment returned. I also make you an offical arm of the Enforcers in cases that can't usually handle. Miss Feral?"

"Yes Mayor?"

"You will let me know about those unusal cases. T-Bone and Razor will answer only to me. And they will begin in training pilots with excellant skills in the art of dogfighting. To form a new and next generation of the Radical Squadron."

"Why are you doing this Miss Briggs?" asks Jake

"Why not? I'm the mayor now. The salvage yard will be made into your personal training ground. Oh, and better accomodations made for you."

"Are we still going to be mechanics?" says Chance

"Yes, to bring in the extra income to fund your new SWAT Kat school. So, what do you have to say?"

(together) YES!!!!

They high five each other.

Some time later, T-Bone and Razor are again flying the TurboKat through the skies of MegaKat City.

"YEEEEE-HAAAAAA!!" shouts T-Bone.

"The SWAT Kat's are back!" says Razor.

Their console begins to beep.

"Well well" says T-Bone "Looks like Miss Briggs has our first case."

"Yes Miss Briggs?" says Razor

"T-Bone, Razor, your never going to believe this. Dark Kat's escaped from the Kata Penthe prison, Professor Hackle has just reported that the Metallikats are missing, there's been a confirmed sighting of Dr. Viper in MegaKat Swamp and there's a time vortex opening over the desert. Quadruple trouble guys!"

"Thank you Miss Briggs, we'll get right on it." says Razor.

"Shall we?" says T-Bone

(together) YES!!! ROCK AND ROLL!!!! YEEEEEEE-HAAAAAWWWWWWW!!!!!!

The SWAT Kat's are back and as always ready to kick tail!

The End